Kiss Bang

|Bear 🐻|they/them| All characters are 18+ unless stated otherwise

[giveemhales]

Bear With Me 🐻

Hayden just wants to be a good ally and forgets that the Bears are a hockey team and not just gay slang. It leads to some misunderstandings

Posting my Hayden is a Dumbass fic from ao3 here in case anyone else is going through withdrawal and needs a Hollanov fic to tide them over

“Come on, you got to give me something, man. Does she have a last name? What does she look like? Hair color? Eye color? Height? How did you meet? Where in Boston does she live? She does live in Boston, right?”

Hayden and Shane each laid on their respective beds, Hayden staring at Shane while Shane stared at his phone.

Hayden had been pestering Shane for the past half hour in their shared hotel room about the secret Boston Lily. Without fail, every time the team had a game in Boston for as long as Hayden had known Shane, he would spend the hours leading up to the game blushing and smiling at his phone, and end the night away from the hotel. Hayden had seen the constant notifications from Lily (including one or two explicit texts he had not needed to see) but he had never been able to get Shane to share a single thing about her. Shane even tried denying her existence, which only spiked Hayden’s curiosity. Hayden would usually let it go, but he had never seen Shane be like this with anyone else and he was desperate to know more. He knew his best friend was private, but Shane had to know he didn’t have to hide anything from Hayden, right?

“How old is she? How long have you known her? What do you guys do together? Does she have an apartment or a house? Or do you meet her at a hotel?”

Usually, Shane and Hayden would sit in companionable silence when sharing a room, but Hayden had cracked his screen earlier that morning and was left with no entertainment. He couldn’t even text Jackie. So he really had no choice but to bother Shane.

“Is she a hockey fan? She better be a Voyageurs fan, right? What are you guys talking about? What does she do for a living?”

Shane steadfastly ignored Hayden. Time to pull out the big guns and take inspiration from his children.

“You have to tell me something about her! Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me-”

“Lily is a Bear, okay? Now please shut up.” As soon as Shane said it, he dropped his phone on his chest like it burned him and slowly turned to stare at Hayden. Shane’s eyes were wide and his mouth agape, looking as shocked as Hayden felt. “I don’t know why I said that, oh my god, please forget I said anything.” He looked like he was going to cry.

“Lily… is a bear?” Hayden struggled to comprehend what that meant for a moment, when it suddenly hit him.

Hayden considered himself to be fairly progressive and cultured. He wasn’t exposed to queer people often, spending most of his time around hockey players who wore toxic masculinity like a badge of honor, but Jacki had one gay friend Hayden had hung out with a number of times. The friend, Andrew, had called Hayden a “twunk” after a couple of deceptively strong margaritas at the end of a game night. After Jackie had finished howling with laughter, Hayden had demanded to know the meaning of the word. From there, he made Andrew tell him all of the other types of gay men there were. Turns out there were all sorts of labels: twunks, twinks, queens, otters, baby gays, gym rats, wolves…

Bears.

Hayden couldn’t remember exactly what it meant, but he was fairly certain it was gay slang for a large, hairy man, which, apparently, was very attractive to many gay men.

Bears were also, apparently, attractive to his, apparently, gay best friend.

“OH. Oh. Okay. So… Lily is a he?”

“Um. Yeah,” Shane exhaled. He looked more like a man being led to his execution than a guy who was opening up with his best friend. Hayden rushed to rectify that.

They were both sitting up now, and Hayden hopped over to Shane’s bed, wrapping his arms around Shane before he could resist. “Thank you for telling me.”

Shane sniffled, and Hayden pointedly ignored the tears welling up in his eyes. “I can’t believe I just blurted that out. It’s supposed to be a secret.”

Hayden shushed him and rubbed his back. “It’s okay, dude. You can tell me anything. You know I would never judge you for anything. Especially for something like this.”

“But it’s so crazy! And I’ve been lying to you for years!”

“It’s not that crazy. And what’s the point of love if it’s not a little bit crazy, anyway. Plus, I understand why you’ve kept it a secret. I mean, with how things are with the league… I get why you would feel like you hade to hide this.” And wasn’t that an understatement. There had never been an out player in the NHL before, and the players made their homophobia well known on the ice and in the locker rooms. With how much Shane cared about his career and his image, Hayden was not surprised he wouldn’t want anyone to know about this relationship.

“You’re taking this so much better than I thought you would. I was so scared,” Shane laughed, finally relaxing and hugging Hayden back. Hayden was a bit offended that Shane had so little faith in him, but he knew that wasn’t was this moment was about.

Hayden eventually moved back to his own bed, after it seemed like Shane had really and truly calmed down.

“So… I’m guessing Lily is not his real name…?” Hayden prompted, hoping to get Shane to spill some more information.

Shane rolled his eyes. “Obviously not. But, well, I probably shouldn’t say anything else. I mean, no doubt you’ll figure it out eventually, if you haven’t already, but this really is supposed to be a secret. Neither of us are out yet. I’m grateful you’re being so supportive, but I’d appreciate it if we could pretend this conversation never happened.”

Hayden was bummed he wouldn’t be getting anymore information, but he understood. It wasn’t like he knew the guy who Shane was dating, so he couldn’t expect to be privy to any of his personal information.

Or maybe he did know the guy. Shane had said it was possible he had already figured it out. Hayden couldn’t think of any large and hairy mutual friends they had that lived in Boston, so he had no idea what Shane meant by that comment, but it wasn’t his place to pry anyway.

“Of course, dude. I mean, if you ever do want to talk about it, I’m all ears. But otherwise, this conversation is already forgotten.”

~~~

For awhile, it seemed like things with Boston Lily weren’t meant to be.

Shane had come back to their joint Boston hotel one morning, wearing new clothes and breathing heavily. Hayden tried to ask why he wasn’t with Lily and Shane snapped at him that there was no Lily and he didn’t want to talk. Hayden’s gentle prying was met with a cold disposition he had never seen on his friend’s face before, so he let it go.

Shortly after, Shane started dating Rose Landry of all people. Hayden was happy for his friend. Shane had never said he was gay, so Hayden assumed he must be bisexual. Rose Landry seemed like the ideal candidate to get over a breakup.

Hayden thought it would just take some time for Shane to fall for Rose, but over time, he realized that Shane never smiled at his phone the way he used to. He didn’t come back relaxed and loose the way he always had after a night with Lily. He wasn’t happy.

And then suddenly he was.

Faster than Hayden could keep up with, Rose Landry was out of the picture and Lily was back. Around the time of the Shane’s all stars weekend game, Shane must have gotten in touch with Lily, because he was back to his former self. Actually, he was better than his former self.

Shane came back from off-season a whole new man. Hayden was used to a Shane who looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Who calculated every step like a single mistake could smash his life into pieces.

That season, it was like Shane was a whole new man. He laughed with his teammates and smiled coyly when they asked who he was texting. He was still private, he still kept to his routine, he still wouldn’t stay out late and only stuck to ginger ale. But Hayden realized it was the first time he had ever seen Shane look comfortable in his own skin. He was heartbroken that he hadn’t realized how much Shane had been suffering in silence before, but he was so grateful to whoever it was that made Shane feel like he was allowed to be himself.

Hayden tried to give Shane space, but he eventually caved and asked if he had gotten back together with Lily. Shane confirmed that he had, and he admitted that Lily had actually come over to his cottage. During the trip, they had become official and exclusive. Shane had confessed his love to Lily. Lily had confessed his love back. Hayden was almost brought to tears by the lovesick look on his best friend’s face. He was just so happy for his best friend.

“So when do I get to meet the guy?” Hayden finally asked the question he had been dying to ask for months, after Shane finished recounting his romantic cottage

Shane looked at him strangely. “You mean, like, meet him as my boyfriend?”

Wow, boyfriends. He was thrilled his friend finally felt comfortable enough to use that label. Hayden remembered when he first started dating Jackie, and he understood the desire to shove that designation into any conversation possible. “Yes! C’mon, you guys could come over for dinner and Jackie can make that weird macro shit you like. And I can give a toast to the man who stole my friend’s heart.”

“That does sound fun. I don’t know that either of us are quite ready for that, but I’ll talk with him. I promise, you and Jackie will be the first couple we double date with.”

Hayden fist bumped. He would take what he could get. He was so excited to meet the guy who had his best friend so enamored. Once Hayden met “Lily,” he was buying him a beer and welcoming him to the family. Hell, Hayden didn’t even know the guy’s real name, but he was practically family already. Anyone who could make Shane that happy always had a place at the Pike home.

~~~

Months later, Hayden found himself furiously knocking on Shane’s front door for the third time, waiting for a response. He had also tried calling and texting with no luck.

Hayden, Jackie, and the kids were taking their first family vacation since Arthur had been born, and their flight was in a few hours. Jackie had been planning meticulously for weeks and everything seemed perfect until Ruby came running into their room, crying because she couldn’t find Monty.

Monty was Ruby’s stuffed bear with a Monty Voyageurs jersey, custom-made with Pike’s name and number. Any time spent the night somewhere other than home, whether it was a sleepover at a friend’s or a week long vacation, she had to bring Monty. Hayden had once tried to convince her that she would be okay without the bear, and she had said with big teary eyes that if she could only sleep if she was at home or had a piece of home with her. Hayden had never tried arguing again (he also bought her ice cream and then sobbed uncontrollably the rest of the night after she went to bed, much to Jackie’s amusement).

Hayden loved that his daughter loved the bear so much, but it was putting him in a difficult position. He had spent all morning searching every nook and cranny in the house for Monty before having to admit defeat. He realized that Monty must be at the least place where Ruby had spent the night, which was Shane’s place a couple weeks before when he had graciously babysat Hayden’s kids so Hayden and Jackie could celebrate their anniversary.

They were cutting it close on time, but Hayden would do anything for hit little girl. He agreed to go to Shane’s to get the bear while Jackie finished packing for the kids. As soon as he got the bear, he would rush back and take the family to the airport, and pray they made their flight in time.

Hayden had spent the whole driver to Shane’s repeatedly calling him and sending frantic texts at every red light with no luck. After knocking on the front door a fourth time and peeking through the windows, he had to accept that Shane was not home and he was not looking at his phone. Hayden assumed he was practicing on the ice, in which case it could be hours before Shane looked at his phone.

The key Shane had given Hayden for his home was technically only for emergencies. But Hayden was sure Shane would agree this constituted an emergency. He was just as weak to Ruby’s big, tearful eyes as Hayden was.

Hayden unlocked the front door and entered the apartment, shouting out “Shane?” When he got no response, he proceeded to the guest room, where he was certain Monty would be. He checked the closet and behind the pillows on the guest bed with no luck, before finally checking under the bed. Sure enough, the bear had somehow fallen under the bed, pushed about as far under as possible, putting it out of reach. Hayden had to lay down on his stomach to try to grab it. After some stretching, maneuvering, and a brief moment of panic where he thought he was stuck, Hayden finally emerged victorious from under the bed. Hayden rolled onto his back to savor the victory, feeling the type of pride he only felt when he knew he had done something that would make his kids smile, when he heard a noise coming from the living room.

Hayden realized Shane must have arrived home while Hayden was grabbing the bear, and he rolled his eyes at his friend’s terrible timing. At least now he had a chance to say bye to Shane before he left for his family vacation. He got up (ignoring the way his joints creaked—fuck, maybe Shane was right about needing to stay on top of his regiment during the off season) and strolled to the living room, ready to show off the fruits of his labor.

Hayden shot a quick text to Jackie, letting her know of his success and that he would be home soon. She responded with a congratulatory emoji, followed by a less sweet text reminding him to hurry his ass up.

“Hey, Shane, I’m-” Hayden cut himself off with a (very manly) shriek when he entered the living room and realized Shane was home, but he was not alone. Rather, he was lying on his couch, covered by a naked man who was either kissing him or attempting to eat his face. With the ferocity of his actions, it was hard to tell.

Hayden was simultaneously impressed with the speed Shane and his man managed to get into this position (were they literally stripping as they entered the apartment?), excited he was about to meet the elusive Boston Lily, and scarred that he had now seen his usually prim and proper best friend getting down and dirty.

“Oh my god, Hayden, what are you doing here?” Shane shouted, sitting up and pushing the man off of him. The man barely budged at Shane’s push, instead leisurely rolling off of him to the opposite side of the couch like some sort of big cat, evidently immune to the immense mortification Shane and Hayden were both currently experiencing. The mortification worsened when this change in position not only revealed Shane’s erect dick (which Hayden could have happily gone his whole life without ever seeing), and, even worse, Ilya Rozanov’s erect dick.

Hayden’s brain took a moment to fully process what he was seeing.

That wasn’t just Ilya Rozanov’s dick–that was Ilya Rozanov! Shane’s rival of over ten years, Hayden’s least favorite player in the NHL, and certainly not a bear.

Shane grabbed a throw pillow to cover his junk, but Rozanov just widened his legs, utterly shameless. Hayden couldn’t say he was surprised by Rozanov’s behavior, but he was certainly enraged. And more than that, he was surprised by Shane. Rozanov had no shame, but Hayden had never thought sweet, loyal Shane would be the type to cheat, and especially not with someone as vile as Rozanov.

Hayden stared up at the ceiling, already desperately trying to erase that image of the two naked men out of his mind. “I had to get Ruby’s bear! You wouldn’t answer my texts or calls and we are meant to fly out in a few hours. I didn’t know you would be showing up and doing… this,” he waved his arms wildly in the general direction of Rozanov, still refusing to look. “Which, by the way, what the fuck are you doing?”

“What does it look like he is doing, Pike? You have children, you know what sex is, yes?”

“Shut the fuck up, Rozanov, I’m not talking to you. Shane, what are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking this is my home and I wasn’t expecting company. Clearly I didn’t know you were here or I wouldn’t have been doing this.”

“Really? My presence is the only thing that would have stopped you? Are you being serious right now?”

Shane gaped. “Dude, what is your problem?”

“What is my problem? What is your problem? What the fuck are you thinking? How could you do this?”

Shane looked at Hayden like he was the one doing something wrong. “What do you mean? You knew about this! You said you didn’t judge me!” Shane got the glassy look in his eye he always had when he was trying not to cry. Usually Hayden would fold under that look, but he was too angry on Boston Lily’s behalf. His best friend had a type of love most people only dreamed of and he was throwing it away for Ilya Rozanov of all people.

Rozanov leaned over and rubbed the back of Shane’s neck, quietly shushing him, as if he had the right to be the one to comfort Shane. It only made Hayden angrier.

Hayden scoffed, “Obviously I didn’t know about this. I would never condone this!”

Shane’s shoulders hunched and his head fell. Good, he should feel ashamed.

“This is sick.” Rozanov had always made his disdain for Hayden clear, but Hayden had never been at the end of such a hate-filled look from him. He honestly didn’t think he had ever seen Rozanov looked like that, and his self-preservation instincts reared for him to stop. Hayden bulldozed on regardless, motivated by his morality and investment in his friend’s love life. “I just don’t understand, I thought you were more loyal than that.”

Shane’s head snapped back up, eyes blazing. Apparently today everyone was looking at Hayden with looks of previously unseen levels of rage. “I have always been loyal to the Voyageurs, don’t you dare doubt that.”

“I’m not talking about that! This is bigger than hockey. I’m talking about the love of your life. How could you do this to Boston Lily?”

Shane’s rage melted away, his brow softening in confusion. “Huh? What? But… Ilya is Boston Lily. I thought you knew for months “Lily” was actually a man.”

Hayden looked up and down at Rozanov’s body (and quickly looked away with a blush when he realized he still had his dick on display), then shook his head. “Nice try, but I know Rozanov can’t be Boston Lily. You said Boston Lily is a bear, and no way is Rozanov a bear. He does not have enough hair.”

Shane looked genuinely concerned at this point and Rozanov was staring at Hayden like he had grown a second head. “Hayden… When I said Lily was a bear, did you think I meant an actual bear? Did… did you think I was in a relationship with a literal animal?” This was maybe the most distressed and disgusted Hayden had ever seen Shane.

“No! Obviously that’s not what I thought. Don’t try to gaslight me,” that was another term Andrew had taught him, “I know what a bear is. Rozanov does not have the body type or the body hair to be a bear.” He waved around Ruby’s bear as a visual reminder of the term’s origin. “Dude doesn’t even have chest hair. He would have to be a gym rat. Maybe a wolf. Or would a bull be more accurate? I can’t really remember the difference off the top of my head. I would have to consult with Andrew…”

Shane looked like he was about to have a stroke. Rozanov looked like he thought Hayden was having a stroke. “Why are you saying I am animals? I do not understand,” he turned to Shane, “What does this mean? These are English terms I do not know?”

Shane shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know either. I have no idea what is going on right now. Hayden, did you get a concussion when Kent hit you on the ice? Should we get a doctor?”

“Don’t play dumb! I may be straight but I am well-versed in gay slang and I know all of the different body types.”

“Well I don’t! Care to enlighten us as to what the fuck you are talking about?”

“No, you do know, because otherwise why would you call Boston Lily a bear- oh fuck,” Hayden cut himself off with a curse.

Shane wasn’t dating a bear from Boston.

He was dating a Boston Bear.

Lily was Ilya.

Hayden’s best friend was in love with the biggest asshole in the league and Hayden had been unintentionally approving of it for months. But if he suddenly stopped being accepting after he had promised he would never judge Shane, then Hayden himself would earn that title of biggest asshole in the league (or at least second). And he’d have to admit he was an idiot.

This was the worst moment of Hayden’s life.

“Ha! I’m just messing with you guys. Obviously I knew Rozanov, I mean Ilya, is Lily. Lily… Lily yuhhhhh. Ilya. I mean duh. What other bear would you be dating? Obviously it’s your rival from the Boston Bears. Obviously I knew that. And obviously I support you. I have such normal feelings about you being in love with,” he swallowed down a gag, “Ilya Rozanov, the person we spent the last decade hating. Or at least one of us did. HA. I was just messing around. A little hazing for the new boyfriend. Just a little revenge for always insulting me. And my hockey skills. And my team. And my appearance. And my mother. And my wife. All things I am totally chill with now because I have, obviously, known about this for months and am so cool with it. Happy even. Thrilled. I could almost cry. Tears of joy, of course. Ha. Ha. Ha.”

Shane and Ilya both gave Hayden a flat stare. “You had no idea Lily was Ilya, did you?” Shane asked.

Hayden gasped, “That’s crazy. Absurd. Of course I knew.”

“You didn’t even realize I was dating someone on the Bears, did you? You thought bear was some sort of gay slang, really?”

“I- Shane, you are actually being so homophobic right now.”

Ilya snorted and Shane’s jaw dropped. “What?! How can I be homophobic, I’m literally gay!”

“Okay, well you’re clearly not that good at it if you don’t even know what a bear is.”

“He is actually very good at being gay,” Ilya interrupted.

“Oh my god, I’m not listening to this. I am taking Monty and we are out of here. I am going to go pour bleach on my eyes, go on vacation with my family, and we are all going to forget this ever happened or I actually will start telling people you are dating an bear. A real one, like Monty.” Hayden turned and stomped away, his head held high. His dignity was in tatters, in worldview was shattered, but at least he had his daughter’s bear and the knowledge of Lily’s identity.

He heard laughter and a quiet Russian voice as he exited. “So, Lily is love of your life…?”

God, he really needed this vacation.

[sexyklaines]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Title: High off love (and anaesthesia)

Fandom: Heated Rivalry

Pairing: Ilya Rozanov/Shane Hollander

Rating: Explicit

Tags:  Dirty Talk, Exhibitionism, Oral Sex, Dentists, High Shane Hollander, Confessions, Crack, Anal Sex,  Dom/sub,  Voyeurism, Spanking, shane hollander is a cockslut!

Summary:

“You are sooo boring,” Shane whines again. “Wanna hear something not boring?” He attempts to wiggle his eyebrows at him, but he only manages a weird half arch on one of them. Hayden would think it’s kind of adorable, if it wasn’t for the topic of conversation at hand.

“No, I don’t,” and Hayden prays inside his head for Shane to actually not tell him anything else.

God (and Shane) ignore his pleas.

“He fucks me so good after he wins a game. But he fucks me even better after I win”.

Or

The Dentist!Fic in which Shane gets high off the anaesthesia from getting his wisdom teeth removed and tells poor Hayden all about his and Ilya’s sex life.

[my-darling-boy]

Done with society!! I’m just gonna be

[kikheatedrivalryficrec]

More Than Pretty by ashes0909 - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 5,001)

Shane has never thought of himself as pretty. Ilya has always known better. When Fabian makes a suggestion, Shane agrees to try something new. Shane’s confidence hits hard, and Ilya forgets how to function.

'Cause, Baby, I'm Jealous by haveagreatday - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 2,536)

Logically, Shane Hollander knows Ilya would never cheat on him.

But, something about this guy is setting off Shane's insecurities like the Eiffel Tower on New Years' Day.

Ilya makes up for it, of course, in the best way he knows how.

Still, don't fucking do it again.

Multi-POV story.

calls to you like the wild geese by you-cant-spell-subtext-without (ayreisha) - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 7,205)

Ilya’s feeling a little silly about the thought in and of itself, because everyone owns black t-shirts. This is a perfectly normal, ordinary article of clothing, and there is no reason for Ilya to be so magnetized by it that he is now reaching inside Shane’s suitcase to remove what is a completely innocuous black cotton tee that is clearly something Shane has always owned. The same kind that Ilya also owns, and ‘casually’ tossed at Shane when Shane was lying delectably shirtless in his bed a few months ago that godforsaken day in Boston Ilya can't bring himself to stop thinking about.

Chert, Shane hasn’t just infected Ilya with his boring, his never-ending stream of consciousness mind-babble must be contagious, too.

Ilya picks up the folded shirt and immediately forgets to be concerned about The Hollander Effect on his nervous system, because - yes, that’s definitely the scent of Ilya’s fabric softener lingering on those cotton fibers. He knows that for a fact because he can’t ever find his favorite brand in the US, so he always brings a case from Russia when he returns from a visit.

Okay, so Shane kept Ilya’s shirt.

And neglected to wash it.

That’s hot, right?

Do you want a house tour? by frozen_applesauce - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 2,579)

Hayden's first thought after opening Shane's bedside drawer is: That’s a lot of condoms. His second thought is: I thought Shane was a virgin. The third thought doesn’t come because Hayden sees something dick-shaped and his brain shuts down.

— Snooping through Shane's drawers, Hayden finds more than he's prepared for.

Can I Dream For A Few Months More? by Swirlingdust - (Rating: Not Rated, Words: 4,203)

Ilya is depressed, suicidal and lonely. After a few too many drinks he gets the courage to drown himslef in the filthy river that flows through Boston. The world is cruel and Ilya was done with it.

Shane shows him the kindness that he thought was dead and helps him.

a different kind of love by illegaltofu - (Rating: G, Words: 1,820)

"None of what you have gone through is your fault, do you hear me?”

He knows his voice is going to break as he speaks his next words, but he says them anyway. “But my fa-my father-“

“Was wrong.” She scoots just a bit closer to him, and when he doesn’t pull away, she wraps her arms around him so fiercely he can’t help the sob that escapes him, and he clings to her like she’s his mother. or

Yuna tells Ilya it’s not his fault. Because he needs to hear it.

The Mysterious Mrs Jane Rozanov by Frostberry - (Rating: G, Words: 3,500)

When Ilya signs with the Ottawa Centaurs, everyone wants to know why he moved. Turns out, he married a Canadian. Her name is Jane. 

Or so the team believes - because Ilya never bothers to correct them.

don't you need me like i need you now by if_not_now_tell_me_when - (Rating: T, Words: 1,375)

"'I’m not going to shave your head. Unless you keep moving. But you need a trim, your hair is turning into a mullet.” Shane runs his fingers through the silky strands again, inhaling the citrus scent of Ilya’s shampoo. For a moment, he’s tempted to bury his face in Ilya’s curls rather than cut them.

'What is mullet?'

'It’s uh - you know, business in the front, party in the back. Short in the front, long in the back.'

'This sounds terrible. Why would anybody want this?'

'They don’t. That’s why I’m saving you from it. So, stop squirming.' Shane gently tilts Ilya’s head back to center, his fingers lingering against Ilya’s jaw."

Stupid Canadian Wolf bird... Wait No, That's a Russian Werewolf by Ineffable_Rivalry (I_Ineffable_Idiot_t) - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 4,420)

The glint of metal caught his eye and he looked down then froze at the golden crucifix hanging from the creatures neck. He knew that necklace, and he realized why the wolf felt familiar. He knew those eyes. “... Ilya…?” he whispered, it sounded stupid even to his own ears, but the way his husband had disappeared? The fact that this wolf had his eyes and his mother’s necklace? It had to be. The wolf, Ilya, nodded. Once, hesitant. Another soft whine.

Or... Ilya is turned into a werewolf and Shane finds out

Hollanov RPF by Lune_Bleue22 - (Rating: Mature, Words: 1,206)

Lily: You read Hockey RPF? Jane: I don’t think so? Is it about strategy? Lily: Yes, strategy to suck other player’s dick Jane: ???

Ilya discovers Men’s Hockey RPF and realizes that Hollanov is a popular pairing. He would love to laugh it off, but some of the stories are making him… feel things. Very inconvenient, that.

[endlessly-ranting-antheia]

If you watch Heated Rivalry and you only see the sex that’s your media literacy problem not the shows

[spiderblog-mcu]

Cake By The Lake (Hollanov one shot)

Ilya didn't know what came over himself but every instinct in his body told him to slap his boyfriends ass. So he did. It was casual, almost careless, but as the crack of the slap echoed across the lake, so did the moan from Shane's throat. 

or: Ilya slaps Shane's ass and Shane REALLY likes it.

I liked this one so much that I decided to post it here as well! - Ghost

It was a crisp day in late August and the sun had already dipped behind the trees when the banter started. They were both lounging on the porch of Shane's cottage - Shane with his head in Ilya's lap, and Ilya sipping on a beer, wearing a shit-eating grin that said 'I'm winning this argument'. 

"You're so full of shit." Shane said with a lazy voice, eyes half shut. "You would have missed that last goal by a mile if my controller didn't disconnect."

Ilya snorted. "Lyubimyy, just admit, I am the hockey video game master." 

Shane rolled his eyes but the corner of his mouth twitched. "Keep dreaming Rozanov."

They'd been at this for at least an hour - light jabs, who deserved the last chip in the bowl, who looked better in the team's new hoodie. The kind of sharp-edged flirting that had become their method of affection over the years. Ilya combed his fingers through Shane's hair. 

"You talk big game for someone who folded like wet napkin in the locker room with me last week."

Shane snorted a laugh. "That was strategic retreat. Huge difference." He stands up to grab another beer from the cooler.

"Oh Mr. Strategy." Ilya teased. "You are lucky I fell so generous tonight." Shane shook his head in defeat and grabbed the iron stoker and poked at the fire pit that had been spitting flankers. Ilya didn't know what came over himself but every instinct in his body told him to slap his boyfriends ass. So he did. It was casual, almost careless, but as the crack of the slap echoed across the lake, so did the moan from Shane's throat. 

They both froze and Shane's face turned a vibrant shade of red. Too ashamed to look back, he started off into the trees, white knuckling the bottle in his hand. "Don't." He muttered, but it sounded more like a plea than a command. 

Ilya tilted his head, studying Shane. The smirk he had now replaced by something sharp and hungry. "It did not sound like a 'don't' to me."

Shane swallowed. "Ilya-" Another slap sent the stoker tumbling to the ground and elicited a different sound. This time it was a whimper - a small, helpless whimper.

Ilya exhaled through his nose like he had been punched. "Fuck you are serious." Shane couldn't bring himself to answer. The tips of his ears burned and the tingle on his ass cheek left a dry feeling in his mouth. Ilya stood abruptly, not caring that his beer had tipped over into the grass. Shane turned to meet his eyes slowly, and they were hungry. "Bedroom." Ilya ordered. "Now."

Shane walked ahead of him on shaking legs, acutely aware of every step he took and every time the fabric of his shorts moved against the sensitive skin on his ass. The bedroom door clicked behind them. Ilya didn't rush. He gently pushed Shane face-down onto the duvet, fully clothed, and climbed on top of him, bracketing Shane's thighs with his knees. One hand settled between Shane's shoulder blades to hold him in place, the other rubbed slow, methodical circles over the curve of his ass. 

"Are you going to tell me to stop?" Ilya asked, leaning low so that his breath tickled the other's ear. 

Shane shook his head and with a cracked voice he answered, "no."

"Good." The first new spank came down hard enough to make Shane's entire body jolt. Heat bloomed instantly, sharp and bright. The second followed right after, then a third. Each one delivered just for Ilya to hear the sounds of pleasure escape involuntarily from Shane's lips. He paused at ten, hand smoothing over fabric like he was petting something precious. "Still good?"

Shane nodded frantically, the duvet now damp from the stream of tears running from his eyes. His cock was painfully hard against the mattress and he could hardly help his hips rocking downward to relieve some of the tension. 

Ilya groaned in satisfaction. "Greedy Hollander." He shoved Shane's shirt up as far as he could and pulled down the lower garments just enough to expose Shane's ass. Ilya stood back for a moment to admire his work - one cheek as he had always seen it and the other bright red with the faint outline of his palm. He had decided in that moment that not even Da Vinci could paint something this beautiful. He kneaded a handful of the swollen flesh before cracking his hand down again. Ilya built a slow but firm rhythm, each swat turned into a deep ache that made Shane tremble. Every few strikes, Ilya would pause to knead again and, if curiosity peaked him, he would use his thumb to pull back the cheek just enough to watch his boyfriend's hole flutter. Shane was so fucking embarrassed but god did he want to keep going. 

"You like this," Ilya said with wonderment. "You really fucking like this."

Shane could only nod and sniffle, now at a loss for words. When Ilya slid his hands between Shane's thighs to find him leaking and hard, he could only groan as if he were the one being spanked. He knelt to the floor and pulled Shane's hips out just a little. One hand wrapped around Shane's aching dick, the other resuming the spanking. Beads of pre-cum rolled down Ilya's hand and dripped onto the floor. Shane's thighs shook with each slap and the whimpers of wanting were no longer spaced out by silence. 

"Will you cum like this Hollander?" Ilya asked with intent. "I haven't even fucked you." Shane made a broken sounds that resembled a yes. "Then do it."Ilya insisted. "Let me see."

It didn't take long after that. Ilya would guess maybe three more slaps before Shane came with a shuddering cry into the mattress. His hips jerked uncontrollably and cum gushed out onto Ilya's pants. The lingering heat on his ass amplified every pulse until he had nothing left to give. Ilya eased him through it, palm rubbing slowly over the sensitive skin. He certainly did a number on the poor guy. When Shane finally stopped trembling, Ilya leaned in to press a kiss into the back of his thigh. 

"I hope you don't like this rug too much. You made a mess." Ilya teased softly.

Shane laughed - breathless, wrecked, and happy. He turned his head just enough to catch Ilya's eye.

"Fuck off," he rasped, smiling. "We're doing this again tomorrow."

Ilya answered, with that shit-eating grin: "Deal."

[fidget-scribbles]

More Hollanov Recs

I'm over a million words into my Hollanov brainrot era now, and that doesn't feel like a lot, considering the tag has added more than four thousand fics since I started. But hey, here's some fic I'm enjoying:

I Like Jane For You by Icopythefax 17k - M Hayden Pike POV -  Ilya and Haden accidentally switch phones. Playful chaos ensues and Hayden develops a soft spot for Ilya's secret girlfriend Jane. Funny and surprisingly sweet. 

frequently, secretly fond of each other by milominderbinder 60k - Explicit - WIP 11/25 Shane gets drafted to Boston a year after Ilya does, they get to know each other as teammates. Smart, vivid writing and characterization, mental health issues in way that's real but not a bummer.  One of the best autistic Shane POVs I've read. Bonus: title is from a fantastic Gay Cowboy Song

something you can fix by some1_around 27k - M Leaked video of his conversation with Rose forces Shane out of the closet. It sucks, but he has a lot more support and community than he realized.  Super-feelings-y, starts off with a meltdown - read when it's okay to cry. There's a sequel in progress.

Half Agony, Half Hope by CorvidCordelia 30k - M Second chance romance -  They become teammates years after breaking up. Loosely based on Jane Austin's Persuasion.

Constellations by Pondermoniums 60k - Explicit - WIP 14/? Starting from breakup and injury, Shane and Ilya drift back into each others' orbit. Shane leans into his friendship with Rose and goes to therapy, without the fic feeling therapy-speak-y. 

The Shane Hollander Thing by fandom_commitment_issues 11k - M Cliff Marlow POV - Ilya's teammate puts the pieces together.

two degrees to the right by under_the_bracken 11k - explicit Ilya has no desire to look up what fanfic means. But it's being used in relation to Hollander, so he does anyway.  Ilya gets an ao3 account.  Fics that get meta about fic can be cringey for me, this one just made me laugh. 

Silly Little Lie by lillygoeson 7k - Explicit - Smutty Shane pretends he's slept with someone else because doesn't want to sound pathetic. Ilya loses his goddamn mind, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. 

Fool for You by Wolftales 7k - Explicit - Smut Shane walks Ilya like a dog and gets exactly what he wants. There are only 28 fics in the Bratty Shane Hollander tag and that's a doggam shame. And Wolftales has more Hollonov smut, which... yeah. 

[aaliyahsparrow]

“In The Locker”, Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, & Scott Hunter [Hudson Williams, Connor Storrie, François Arnaud], Heated Rivalry [Promo Image]

Jan, 2026

Soo.. I was so excited to post this that I posted an image that wasn't ready to post, and now I can't do a switch-out without deleting the whole thing.

The correct image is below. Once I work out how to delete the top image, it will be gone.

(For those playing spot the difference, half of the "8" on the right-hand side was in a hidden layer when I was drawing the overline, and I forgot to bring it back to the front before I exported it and uploaded it to tumblr. I made a mistake. I'm only human. There are also about 700 layers in the raw version of this)

[0nlyhere4phil]

[succubusphan]

Love Your Body

Summary: Dan and Phil are interrupted by everyone’s worst nightmare.

Sequel to Beautiful Stranger and I’ll Be the First to Blow Your Mind.

Rating: E

Tags: Smut, blow jobs, face fucking. There is smut but also i added a bit of plot.

Word count: 1.2k

A/n: Written for the im-PROMPT-u phandom creator challenge hosted by the @phandomreversebang, day 26: love + That’s the plan. Yes, I will probably continue this.

Read on ao3

Keep reading

[gerardwaysbob]

push and pull

pairing: Dan Howell/Phil Lester

words: 1.5k

tags: hair-pulling, hickeys, plot what plot/porn without plot, hotel sex

summary:

They’re nowhere near ready to be done, and Phil isn’t always patient when it comes to most things but when it comes to fucking Dan, he has all the time in the world.

[mjlor-chan]

[bmcdede]

[danielhowell]

as a sneak peek of my new video here is a clip of me testing the lighting. i am fucking insane

[easymorningweathervanes]

I will never stop reblogging this in fear of never finding it again.

[fr1ednice]

I know I just reblogged this twice but I DONT CARE

[anime-phan]

damn that one second where its his natural voice oh damn

[callistoann]

OMFG

[relahtivity-blog]

never won’t reblog

[rapewhistled2013login-deactivat]

she said spank me and i slapped her with the word of the lord

[georgiabread]

let’s cause a little trouble

summary: the one where phil is a cameraman at the Olympics and dan is a bratty figure skater who isn’t pleased with phil’s work. but phil’s turned on by this more than anything.

word count: 4302

trigger warnings: general smut, handjobs i guess, dom!phil, sub!dan, dirty talk and degrading. also there’s a bit of rude arguing at the start. smut will start and end with bold writing if you don’t wanna read it

a/n: so um. i wrote smut. for the first time ever. so don’t be hard on me lmao it’s so cheesy. this was also based on a prompt by @dan-howls-4-phil:

“phil is a junior camera man at the Olympics and its his first time filming live and dan is one of the figure skaters, basically phil fucks up the angles and dan looks weird, they meet at a staff party and dan finds out it was him and they end up together.”

Shards of ice flew from the blades of Dan Howell’s skates as he glided across the rink, arms held elegantly like an eagle’s wings. His dusky hair had grown curly at the edges, sweaty from exertion, but the figure skater saw no sign of stopping. Red and silver gems glittered off his costume in the bright industrial lighting, dotted along black and crimson patterns resembling flames. His graceful movements entranced the audience of more than 1000, who cheered and teetered on the edges of their seats as he danced to Ingenue by Thom Yorke.

Dan had everyone captivated, lured into a melancholic, heart-wrenching trap. The emotion of the song was evident behind his golden brown eyes, his parted lips, the fluid motions of his arms. He floated backwards on the ice, lifting one arm up and over his head while the other he suspended out beside him. Then he brought both to his chest, crouching low, before stretching up into a spin.

The audience watched with bated breath as the boy increased his pace, zooming down the rink, forming a backwards approach and leaping into a flawless triple Lutz. Applause erupted around the ice rink, but it barely affected Dan. He seemed lost in the program, lost in the song, almost teary-eyed.

Keep reading

[girlmuppet]

Do any of u have decent recipes that are like 5 ingredients (not including spices) and take 45 mins or less to prepare i gotta stop eating sandwiches for dinner

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

yeah hang on

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

ignore the title of this google doc because it's a long story but it's a really solid recipe for southwest chicken alfredo

this is a vegetarian potato curry recipe that's about 75% spices; once you get the potatoes in there you can really do whatever you want with it

this is literally just pasta, broccoli, and cheese babey and you can live off that shit for DAYS it makes such a big portion

bro this spinach/pesto/3 cheese flatbread is so fucking tasty bro

also you can make the flatbread yourself it's super quick!!

oh hey I'm eating this white chickpea chili right now, much like the curry it's mostly spices and you can do p much do whatever you want with it

don't let the name fool you these potatoes are delicious any time. not just breakfast.

this is slightly more than five ingredient when you add them together but if you have time and really wanna fuckin treat yourself I recommend these chicken strips + this cornbread + either these potatoes or these buttered veggies on the side.

[dragonforsale]

These are my two favorite comfort foods. They're very easy to make and dont take long to cook.

Garlic butter rice

Orzo mac and cheese (comes out a little bit soupy)

[shadowblinder]

this recipe for gogumabap (sweet potato and rice) saved my life when i couldn't eat hardly anything for a long time. the recipe itself calls for a heavy bottomed pot but you can absolutely use a rice cooker and put the rice and diced sweet potato in together and just let the machine do its thing

[not-available-for-comment]

Time for me to beat my little clown drum again for Indian-ish by Priya Krishna, aka The Easiest Recipes I Have Ever Fucking Made. Dal that takes 15 minutes. Easy aloo gobhi. Easy saag feta. Buy. Cook. Eat.