AM I MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR YET, I’VE BEEN DYING TO TELL YOU that I’m a total mess and a complete disappointment but I’m trying really hard ok
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@exranger
AM I MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR YET, I’VE BEEN DYING TO TELL YOU that I’m a total mess and a complete disappointment but I’m trying really hard ok
i don’t have my external hard drive plugged in right now so no icon on this post but i think people forget that montage at the beginning of the first movie that shows us the degree to which jaeger pilots where hailed as heroes, as celebrities. and that’s . . . important to me.
when you can feel your mental health start to deteriorate but you can’t do anything other than stand by and watch like
there are 3 major facts that everyone here needs to know:
i will be obsessed with my interpretation of scott hansen until the day i fuckin die
i will always want more for him and this fandom than anything else
i will always stan @bravegroupie
doing risky shit because you lowkey wanna die
something about scott was never quite right . and he could kind of maybe tell that he maybe possibly definitely was not the only one who noticed it when he got labeled as a downer one week and TOO MUCH the next , when competitive sports only held his passive attention until taking a ball to the face gave him a thrill , when he had too much energy to fall asleep at night and not enough to get up for class or work the next morning . he’d have said he was living this whole LIFE THING backwards , but that’s a normal direction , a direction some things —- like the ever - symbolic trout —- do travel . so maybe he was going sideways instead . or diagonal . or some other , unknown way of sashaying into oblivion .
he was apathy that could burn vigorously through steel , so his chest was no match for his flames . emptiness always came in its wake , and in that desolation , he wanted so desperately to be NOTHING . but he was already too many things to be nothing —- already practically EVERYTHING by the time he was eighteen .
being EVERYTHING looked like holding an entire galaxy inside of him ; holding an entire galaxy inside of him looked like a parachute hit .
in college , he learned that people liked consistency , a reputation , so he decided to be one thing —— consistent . and that seemed to do the trick . of course, “ the trick ” consisted of alcohol , lots of it . and people liked that . and he liked that people liked that . and , up until the launch of the jaeger program , every positive adjective that ever flowed in conjunction with his name came streaming out of the mouth of a bottle .
he turned himself into a gun the second he was given the chance to point it somewhere other than himself . but his decision to be self - possessed meant his demons followed him everywhere . they loudly followed him around , throwing rice at their weddings to the beings in his closet , who weren’t just skeletons , but full - bodied zombies . the apocalypse came and his own brother left him to die in the camp .
his decisions stretched into his eternity , and he lives with every intention to die that way , in a puddle of mediocrity and whiskey with track marks down his arm and a track record of letting people down . everybody remembers him for some semblance of what he was and more infamously of what he became , but not everything he could have been if he’d known he was allowed to want to be it .
hey what’s up hello, here’s the obligatory post i like to circulate every time we get another influx of followers --------------------
my entire blog is one giant TW for drugs, alcohol, mental health issues, and suicidal ideation ------- SCOTT IS NOT A MENTALLY STABLE PERSON and definitely was even less so in his backstory. so. be on the lookout for those themes.
THE REASON FOR SCOTT BEING KICKED OUT OF THE PPDC CAN BE FOUND AT THIS LINK. that backstory was crafted carefully over the course of several months, and i am relatively firm about it.
exceedingly few people know the details of the above. it’s sure as shit not something herc or scott would go around telling everyone and the ppdc wanted to keep the circumstances quiet in general.
scott was mia for all of the events of uprising unless we plot otherwise.
i have a pinterest board for scott HERE and i really do recommend it if you want a feel for his aesthetics.
we don’t use the g slur on this blog because slurs are awful, this shouldn’t still need saying
i love scott hansen. he’s a walking garbage can.
kaijuslaying:
❛ IT’S UNCLE SCOTT. ❜
TheseAreNotTheDroidsYouAreLookingFor.jpg
this is SO SAD alexa please kill me
Again, I feel personally attacked
I’m just really fucking sad is that so hard to understand
*coughs up blood* i mean im pretty chill you know nothing really gets to me and
i can’t wait for my thesis to be over so i can be here
i can’t sleep because of who i am as a person
honestly i think one of the personal values that most defines a person is whether or not they think intentions matter . or whether they think intentions can ever outweight consequence . there are perfectly valid reasons for both and all perspectives on it , but at the end of the day , it can be really hard to sustain relationships with people of differing viewpoints because of how easily misunderstandings happen and how hard it can be to issue appropriate apologies .
anyway , in regards to scotty ------- he really fundamentally at his core used to believe that intentions do matter . but then throughout his life , he makes a lot of really severe mistakes so awful that he can’t reasonably expect for people outside of his brain to understand his motivation or sympathize with him . to the point where if someone around him tries to say that intentions matter , he’s liable to reply with a gruff “ of course they don’t .”
i’m gonna rewatch uprising later so that i can finalize my verse for scott , but like i really want to write scott on dash . i love writing him privately but i want to let him breathe here , too , and so let’s plot and shit !!!!