quietly existing

‼️READ PINNED‼️ Trauma Vent Sideblog • Follows from tyrannosaurus-red CSA / NCCSA Survivor • Childhood Abuse Survivor • ASD / PTSD / SZD / MDD 1997 • Non-binary Questioning DNI If kink/DDLG (or variants)/Pro-MAP/Pedophile If you see me reblog something twice no you didn’t

[extinquishedstardust]

Intro post I guess

Edit: 05.29.26

My name is Numinex (call me Numi for short) I’m a late twenty something (1997) CSA/NCCSA/SA & DV survivor. This is a side blog to keep my trauma dumping off my main, which you’re welcome to follow if you really want to

This is my VENT TRAUMA BLOG. I don’t tag things often if at all but MASSIVE TW for the entire blog

I am PRO RECOVERY. Part of my recovery is just simply screaming into the void because standard diaries don’t work for me

I am PRO SELF DX. We live in a capitaist hellscape with prices for everything rising every three seconds and you get charged $9.99 just to exist.

DO NOT INTERACT:

Pro Endogenic systems / DD/lg or any variants / any variety of kink blog / anti self diagnosis / anti recovery / pro eating disorder / pedophile or map / pedophile or map apologist or sympathizer / anti xenogender / anti neopronouns

while I have 0 intention of posting anything blatantly nsfw, I’m not 100% comfy with anyone under 18 following me, but I know this is tumblr and kids to where they want whether they’re wanted or not so just try to use your best judgement kthanks

More info about me under the cut 💁🏻‍♀️

I’m non-binary / pansexual / Transmasc / xenogender

My pronouns are she/her, they/them , he/him , ae/ae

My favorite color is green

I am professionally diagnosed with

autism spectrum disorder

anxiety disorder

major depressive disorder

complex post traumatic stress disorder

I am self diagnosed with

schizophrenia / schizoaffective disorder

dissociative identity disorder / otherwise specified dissociative disorder

I suspect I may have

maladaptive daydreaming disorder

[extinquishedstardust]

I wish my mother aborted me

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Low-key spiraling rn

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I need a fucking cigarette

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I think I’m gonna cut tonight because staying clean genuinely doesn’t matter

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God I wanna cut or drink so bad. But like vodka or soju. I want something that burns going down

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Thinking about killing myself when my dog goes again cuz once she’s gone what’s the point? Why keep trying? Why keep going?

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I wanna kill myself so much

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14 hr migraine (and counting) 2 days after a 21 hour migraine I hate it here I hate it here I hate it here

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I wanna cut so bad

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I wish I was valuable

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Holy Déjà vu Batman

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It’s expensive to be alive, it hurts to be alive, I’m not good at anything, I have nothing of value to offer to anyone, I’m not married nor do I plan on getting married, I’m not a parent nor do I plan on becoming a parent, I still live with my mom, my job isn’t important when I am able to go in when I’m not in so much pain I can’t function, I have no worth or value as a human being. Seriously. Why do I even still bother

[extinquishedstardust]

Thinking about killing myself before lunch yay

[swissroll-plus]

feelin like a dying tamagotchi rn

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I would very much like to cut rn

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/gen /srs but I wish there was a shot or a pill I could take that could just make me normal. Cure me of my migraines, my depression, my insomnia, my cPTSD, my autism, everything. Make me neurotypical, make me capable of working 40hrs/week, make me able to function normally day to day. Fix me. I want to be fixed. Living like this is agony and I hate it.