ugh

(very) dumb (mostly) sad side blog

[furiousgoldfish]

me when I'm perceived: disgusting. stop that. I don't exist. look away.

me when I'm ignored: this is the saddest I've ever been

[xenosagaepisodeone]

inaction will always be action and avoiding communication with someone who is trying to meet you half way out of fear of upsetting emotions is still an attempt to control and manipulate the situation. there is a tendency in people who deliberately avoid confrontation to believe that conflict can only be caused by active provocation, and that otherwise all behavior occupies a sphere of neutrality. they feel victimized with a friend, family member, or partner brings up an issue to them, while not nearly cognizant enough of the subjugation they are asking of those people to endure by minimizing their emotions and ignoring it. the truth is that all relationships are interdependent. relationships deepen and grow based off of how we consciously act in the interests of the people we want to keep in our lives. it's also just easier to change for the better when you have something in your life you want to protect.

it is depressing how stonewalling in interpersonal relationship comes with the twofold anguish of feeling both unheard (in the context of the present conflict you are attempting to resolve) and unacknowledged (in your broader efforts to keep the relationship afloat). you want to feel bad for conflict avoiders because they can endure harrowing levels of debasement in the name of never having to experience "big" emotions, but it's also frustratingly dehumanizing when they're able to justify the things they put you through to maintain that philosophy.

[extrasadinary]

today marks 2.5 years booze-free. i still have chronic health issues, hormonal and emotional instability etc but i AM taking sobriety as a win. still smoke but...

[greedyraptor]

don’t u hate it when u wake up and ur awake

[cosmogenous]

how to express emotions infront of people without feeling terribly ashamed of yourself tutorial

[satanblack]

person: How are you?

me: i literally have no idea

[myriadsubtletiess-blog]

The worst part about having mental health issues is that you’re seemingly required to have a breakdown in order for people to understand how hard you were trying to hold yourself together.

[thingsididntknowwereerotic]

I have never seen it explained so well.

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Being angry is okay. Screaming at people and breaking stuff isn't. Being jealous is okay. Sabotaging relationships isn't. Being anxious and insecure is okay. Seeking validation by guilt tripping and manipulating people isn't. Being sad is okay. Intentionally dragging other people down with you isn't. What I'm trying to say is that while all of your emotions are valid, you still have a responsibility to express them in a healthy way.

[bittylildragon]

Feelings are valid. Many behaviors stemming from those feelings aren't.

[heraldic-thunderbolt]

trying to get my life together or die in a gas explosion whichever don't care

[memorycycle]

*twirling my hair* yea im always so scared haha. of everything *batting my eylashes*

[brightwanderer]

I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.

[mackenziesummertime]

That constant struggle between “I can’t show my symptoms or I’ll be a burden” and “why doesn’t anyone realize I’m suffering?”

[heartshop]

Sylvia Plath, ‘Getting There’

[rabbittongues]

[konoko]

tiredmaid / instagram

ps: this is an edit created by me, not a real anime/manga.

[quotespile]

“I have found it impossible to talk to anyone about my problems. I couldn’t face the embarrassment, and anyway I lack the courage. Any courage I had was knocked out of me when I was young. But now, all of sudden I have a sort of desperate wish to tell everything to somebody.”

— Roald Dahl, Matilda

[extrasadinary]

I still feel that reminiscent emotion of "running away," despite fully knowing it won't do anything to help anyone (least of all me)...from experience.