The Intergalactic House of Pancakes

I am everywhere, anywhere, and nowhere. The Alpha and the Potato. I am the one who dwells in the rectum of time and laughs back at you in the darkness for forgetting how to set the timers on small electronics. I am like five batmans, or shall I say batmanæ? I am that mixed with Chuck Norris and a narwhal; a fact you find strangely stimulating to senses you did not know you had! For I am High Admiral Exxos von Steamboldt of the Intergalactic House of Pancakes! Bringer of darkness when it is already dark out! And facilitator of squirrel dancing!

[feminismisstillahatemovement]

It's always timely to remember that this is where diversity quota hiring leads: to chiefs of fire departments saying they're either unable or unwilling to save half of the people they are tasked with saving from burning to death in a fire.

[emmaubler]

"If the requirements for a firefighters' abilities are changed for you, will you be able to save my husband/father/brother from a fire?'

"Listen, he shouldn't have let himself get caught in a fire, so that's on him."

People who think a flippant clapback is a substitute for answering legitimate questions hurt their own causes.

[sindrome-de-muerte-inminente-de]

For the record, I’ve been in relationships where the roles were reversed and frankly housework is easy as fuck and very preferable over an 8 hour job of backbreaking work for a job you hate but continue to show up to because you need to provide food, clothing, insurance, luxuries, and a place to live for your dependents just so they can talk shit about you and about how bad they have it under the oppressive patriarchy while they get to stay at home, watch television, spend your money, waste time on the internet, and do light work around the house. Seriously, women who bitch about housework don’t know how good they have it. My average day as a stay-at-home boyfriend was waking up after my girlfriend went to work, doing all the housework in under two hours, and then doing whatever the fuck I wanted until she came home.

OMG HOW DIFFICULT.

[based on this post]

[kintallo]

I’ve offended people by saying that as a single woman, I’ve had to work full-time, run errands, and do all the chores such as cooking and laundry anyway; and I’d be happy to let a man take the burden of working full-time off me so I won’t have to do it all myself. I’m totally on board with washing the hubby’s laundry, and doing the cooking and house-keeping if that means an extra 40 hours a week of free time for me!

[titsay]

[chaotic-theatrical-weaver]

-the biblical psalmists

[despazito]

[inwardhardar]

Tough, but fair

[uncle-beanbag-mojave]

That'll learn other graffitos

[beardedmrbean]

[clungedestroyer]

[r4cs0]

SMACK

[lordascapelion]

Cats can have a little salami

AS A PUNISHMENT

[supreme-leader-stoat]

Same energy.

[triforce-princess]

[frogclabon]

AND SPIDER-MAN

[omghotmemes]

Someone is caught in my web…..88w88

[exxos-von-steamboldt]

(via Genesis - Land of Confusion (Official Music Video) - YouTube)

[exxos-von-steamboldt]

(via Tiananmen Square: Unseen footage reveals how the Chinese regime turned to violent repression - YouTube)

[exxos-von-steamboldt]

(via Crazy Incompetence - YouTube)

[your-raifu-is-shit]

Finally got a CMP Garand.

[uncle-beanbag-mojave]

Nice

[dittography-direwolf]

The average person is both stupid and intellectually lazy. Either one of these things in itself is bad enough, but the fact that you haven't got all that many smarts to start with and then you're refusing to even use all of those? Hooboy.

[crazy-brazilian]

[dankxsinatra]

[bauliya]

everyone's like wehhhhh why doesn't doctor house gets suuuueeed! like my man. literally every patient he sees is someone that's been trying to find a diagnosis for ages. i could live with a little medical malpractice if it were coming from someone ready to break into my home to look for allergens and not simply half heartedly listen to me before suggesting I lose weight and take ages of back and forth arguing to order a single test

[bauliya]

"it's medical malpractice" have u ever been a doctor? most medicine is malpractice. let the man limp around chewing vicodin doing 50 invasive tests please

[clodiuspulcher]

Once Taub (derogatory) derisively said about a patient with unexplained chronic pain “7 doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with him, what does that mean?” and House replied without even thinking “it means they’re idiots” and proceed to work his ass off to diagnose the patient Taub wanted to write off as a faker or something. If a doctor had said that when that patient was ME, I wouldn’t dream of suing them in a million years

[waxcat]

[bigbigbigtruck]

Edit to add: i dont know what it says about me that i had to look up rouge the bat but can draw hugh laurie from memory

[artsystarsandshadows]

@phoenix-theurge

[emmaubler]

Also, the question of why House isn't sued for malpractice has the same answer as "Where are the adults when kid heroes are off saving the world alone!?!?!" and "Why were there so many crazy serial killers per capita in that cop show?!?!"--it's entertainment and you should not be expecting 100% real world results and reactions.

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

"Trust the Experts" This 2020 headline is from a "Science" section of a New Media outlet. I see no science here.

This is what a fucking cult looks like.

[takashi0]

Yeah I'm sure sure nature itself is the reason for that and not their insane parents acting doomer 24/7 pavloving them into that sort of reaction

[millerkoth]

"Took my stupid cringefail daughter to the woods and told her that the evil NotUsGroup is going to burn all the trees down before she turns fifteen. She started crying about it, so she must be sensing nature's distress through her deep connection to the vibes of the planet."