The Intergalactic House of Pancakes

I am everywhere, anywhere, and nowhere. The Alpha and the Potato. I am the one who dwells in the rectum of time and laughs back at you in the darkness for forgetting how to set the timers on small electronics. I am like five batmans, or shall I say batmanæ? I am that mixed with Chuck Norris and a narwhal; a fact you find strangely stimulating to senses you did not know you had! For I am High Admiral Exxos von Steamboldt of the Intergalactic House of Pancakes! Bringer of darkness when it is already dark out! And facilitator of squirrel dancing!

[oh-frederik-what-a-day-its-been]

[headspace-hotel]

Was I the one scrolling this post like "surely this is going to be the last one"

[plaguedocboi]

May we have a wormse? Please?

ouppy

[friendsofeveryonefoxy]

actually hammerhead flatworms are one of the most dangerous of invasive species because they breed like crazy can breed asexually and actively hunt good worms like earthworms and red worms while leaving little to nothing behind for the environment they invade and they are extremely hard to kill because they can regrow a whole body from just a segment

they literally have to be dipped into a strong ammonia mixture until they dissolve to kill them

[plaguedocboi]

They are invasive in America and Europe (and native to Southeast Asia, btw, but no one ever seems interested in talking about them as native species) but they are absolutely not one of the Most Dangerous nor are they even particularly all that destructive as far as invasive species go. They’ve been in the Americas and Europe for over a hundred years and are already pretty well established; there’s no point to killing them because they’re already around and they’re here to stay.

Those “good worms” you mentioned are also invasive in the Americas. Most earthworm species were accidentally introduced from Europe and Asia and have altered the American ecosystems to a far greater degree than the flatworms ever will, so I don’t see a problem with a few getting eaten by their natural predators.

Do not fear the Ouppy, he is just a little guy who hangs out in your garden.

[torix-gaming]

Why couldn't we have imported bamboo forests? Just so I could legally farm bamboo shoots somewhere. Shits tasty. So is Japanese knotweed, another bamboo, and it's also invasive. Regulated so heavily that you can't get seeds for indoor growing.

Edible and invasive should make a crop perfect for intentional planting and harvesting. It doesn't, but it should.

[the-davest-of-uncles]

I read that as "hammered flatworms" and thought, "Yeah, that's pretty much all of them."

[livelovelaugh-777]

[sugarfreecherrycola]

She’s Right And She Should Say It.

[siryouarebeingmocked]

[rametarin]

A funny thing happens if you look at Sweden's homicides. They use more explosives. Because of the crime gang element.

B-b-b-b-but Sweden is a developed nation, and explosives are illegal! Hm. It's almost as if it's not guns, but criminality itself.

[joinsideke]

I was talking to an Australian the other day, who said they would never visit the US because "it's too dangerous". While I tried to explain that it wasn't as bad they thought and so on, they jumped to how we are selfish for not banning guns to prevent school shootings, and how that's something they never have to worry about down there.

Somehow they completely forgot that Australia just had a mass shooting not that long ago. Despite guns being banned. The year before that, they had a mass stabbing attack that killed almost as many people as the shooting. Despite knives being banned. That one was eventually stopped by a police officer, with her gun. She shot at the attacker as he charged at her, iirc. And these were just two incidents I knew off the top of my head.

They never replied to me after I brought them up.

[rametarin]

They never do. They just cite the, "St. Patrick charmed the snakes out of Ireland!" route, where they talk about how all those anti-gun ownership laws "Prevented so many shootings! You can tell because we don't have them!"

Yeah, just like how your laws against narcotics prevent so many drug addictions. Genius.

[siryouarebeingmocked]

What's ironic is that loads of uninformed people love to claim Australia TOTALLY stopped mass shootings w/ the 1996 laws, which isn't even remotely true. Also, Australia has more guns now than they did back then!

[beardedmrbean]

[beardedmrbean]

[1americanconservative]

[therealtruthalways]

https://website.beacons.ai/whistleblower8888/live/b206e7c5-3ff7-4cb0-bf7c-7ed1c2a051d1

[vomitdodger]

This is utter BS and doesn’t even pass the common sense test. Practically criminal to pass it along. Look it up yourself. Key details:

As for the 100% oxygen causing euphoria so you die peacefully. No.

100% oxygen doesn’t cause problems unless it’s been used for many hours. Like 12. And that’s just due to normal adaptive physiology of the body. EMS routinely use 100%. Because being hypoxic will make you act coocoo for coco puffs and eventually kill you.

You have to understand the entire set up but common sense says those masks don’t form an airtight seal:

[hst3000]

Those masks are fed by catalytic oxygen generators (it's why you have to pull sharp on them first, it's to start the reaction). Adding some sort of mixing valve to get to 20% oxygen is extra bulk and a point of failure.

100% oxygen at low atmospheric pressure (which is what you'd be in at altitude) is biologically identical to lower percentage oxygen at higher pressure. It's about amount of O2 molecules inhaled, not what percentage of the molecules you inhaled is O2.

And most damning: why the fuck would they care if you die happy or screaming? You're DEAD. You aren't well going to come back and haunt them unless they made you high first.

[emmaubler]

Bro, I'll tell you straight I'd rather die calm and knocked out than screaming and in fear all the way down. Sign me up for that option. But no, the airline would not get sued less if they crashed you high than angry because you are the same amount dead, so that's just dumb.

[exxos-von-steamboldt]

"Dead and angry."

You're dead, how do they know you were angry when you checked out? Oh, my detached and half burned head is frowny! This is going to put a dent in the airline's profits!

[mutant-distraction]

After the excitement of feeding time, the lion cubs settle down with round, full bellies and sleepy eyes.

📸 Tendai Moyo

[chubbycaptain]

im really losing my shit thinking about vulcan childrens music and television. who could forget such hits as “3 is an appropriate number” and “walking in the street could lead to maiming or death”

[chubbycaptain]

the vulcan equivalent of the wiggles is just 3 normally dressed individuals reciting multiplication tables in unison

[nimblermortal]

Speaking as someone with very little knowledge of Star Trek - I’ve seen like three episodes from random versions and I read Spock’s World - I violently disagree with this.

Even before I had such minimal knowledge as I do now, I thought that “vulcan” was a very appropriate word for them. It’s not that they don’t have emotions, if anything they have more than humans, they just run hard and deep, like volcanoes. You don’t want that thing to erupt.

So I imagine vulcan children’s TV is much like Sesame Street. Here is a muppet with anger issues! He spilled his milk and it made him ANGRY!!! Here comes someone dressed in completely normal clothes to say yes, that was indeed unfortunate, but anger is an irrational response to such a thing and not in keeping with the teachings of Surak; let us now explore different forms of meditation as emotional control, one of which includes three normally dressed individuals reciting multiplication tables in unison.

[theswordofdamntheseknees]

[dertaglichedan]

[the-davest-of-uncles]

Not enough people getting shot in the face for being violent retards these days.

[beardedmrbean]

[kaijuno]

[mousenemy]

give it up for another 70 years of goo

[beardedmrbean]

[fennecshandgf]

sometimes i think about the golden record and i want to cry

[fennecshandgf]

there is a disk. it is 12 inches in diameter, it is made of copper, plated with gold. there is an inscription— "To the makers of music – all worlds, all times" on its surface. it lies on the space probe, Voyager 1, launched in 1977, to explore interstellar space beyond our solar system.

it contains human existence.

116 images— the sun, the location of our solar system, mathematical and physical unit definitions, and our planets, including a blue and swirling white sphere simply labelled "Home." it contains images of human dna, of our atoms, their structure, the way they divide, our anatomy, our conception, our birth.

it does not contain an image of war. nor of disease, nor poverty, nor crime, religion, or ideology.

it does contain a father looking lovingly at his daughter. it does contain the picture of a tree toad in a gentle hand, of a woman eating a grape at a supermarket.

the remainder of the disk is audio. a 90-minute selection of music from all over the world, sounds, and greetings. there are greetings in 55 different languages, one akkadian, spoken in sumer about six thousand years ago, and one wu, a modern chinese dialect. the greetings call out to a friend. it wishes them well. it asks them if they have eaten yet.

but it contains other sounds too. it holds the sound of rain, of thunder, of a volcano and an earthquake. it holds the sound of mud pots and trains. it holds the sound of a mother kissing her child.

with little to erode it in space, the golden record would probably outlast all human creation. it will be 40,000 years before it approaches another planetary system. if it does, it cannot find intelligent life. intelligent life will have to find it, retrieve it from where it floats silent and small through space. we still don't know if they would understand it.

in 7.5 billion years, the evolution of the sun would burn the earth up, and we would not exist any longer, but the voyager would fly on, bearing a memory.

bearing a disk with a little inscription etched by hand on its surface.

[st-jimmysidiot]