The Intergalactic House of Pancakes

I am everywhere, anywhere, and nowhere. The Alpha and the Potato. I am the one who dwells in the rectum of time and laughs back at you in the darkness for forgetting how to set the timers on small electronics. I am like five batmans, or shall I say batmanæ? I am that mixed with Chuck Norris and a narwhal; a fact you find strangely stimulating to senses you did not know you had! For I am High Admiral Exxos von Steamboldt of the Intergalactic House of Pancakes! Bringer of darkness when it is already dark out! And facilitator of squirrel dancing!

[exxos-von-steamboldt]

(via A Teen's Organs Were Stolen (and the government is lying about it) - YouTube)

[germanslav]

Gotta start the day right.

[pillarofawesome]

Case in point:

Not seeing "I step outside" after "wake up in the morning" gave my brain the equivalent of my foot falling to the floor when I thought there was one more step on the staircase.

[beardedmrbean]

This has got to be at least the 17th time I've seen someone clain Rittenhouse killed black people.

[siryouarebeingmocked]

Context;

Responses to the stupid tweet;

Note that Z didn't respond to Cav's post, only acted pretentious as he responded to an easier target.

Which was the only response from him I saw in dozens of rebuttals.

Also, Rittenhouse and Zimmerman are both Hispanic. Not your regular white person.

And Kyle literally tried to run away, twice.

[beardedmrbean]

[uncle-beanbag-mojave]

Forks are from cow dishes

[exxos-von-steamboldt]

(via Fondant Potatoes Like A Chef - YouTube)

[exxos-von-steamboldt]

(via How is this even real?! #history #sovietunion #astronaut #space #funny #comedy #ryankelly #ypr - YouTube)

[hellyeahsickaf]

Idk who needs to hear this but

You are literally allowed to walk out of a doctor's office and never come back. You're allowed to self advocate and say "I don't know why you think that's acceptable to say to a patient". You can say "I'm not going to take this"

Which I know is probably obvious and also, extremely difficult to do on the spot. And if you paid a copay, it's even harder because it feels like a waste of money. I think if you're paying to be treated like shit that's not getting your money's worth.

I'm talking about like, genuine disrespect, neglect, malpractice, or true discomfort. Including but not limited to:

Inappropriate comments or demeanor. Ofc there's the obvious crazy "holy shit a doctor just said that?" Comments but I also mean "Well MAYBE if you lost weight you wouldn't have to be on heart medication 😒" "Kinda funny how everyone claims to have POTS lately..."

Poor bedside manner. "I doubt you're in that much pain all the time" "Sometimes in life you need to suck it up. It's not a scary procedure" "It's just a shot, you're not 4 calm down"

Treating you like an addict for needing/requesting a controlled substance. Not like "hey I'm concerned, do you need addiction resources or are you good?" But interrogating you or denying you something that would improve your quality of life on the basis that they are suspicious of your intentions. Some doctors just don't feel comfortable prescribing some things in general and that's one thing, your gp probably won't give you anxiety meds but if they give you an attitude and act like you're trying to fool them, they're an asshole.

Assuming you're lying about your symptoms/conditions. Not as in, you didn't meet the criteria and didn't get diagnosed (you're allowed to get a second opinion) but "Yeah lately everyone seems to think they have chronic fatigue syndrome" "if you truly had (condition) you'd be doubled over in pain right now" "Do you know how rare that actually is? I've met like, 3 patients with it"

Being way out of their lane. Your rheumatologist should not be saying "Is there an actual reason you're depressed? It doesn't look like you've tried every option"

That "I'm the one with the degree so stop talking and listen" attitude. Iykyk.

Not following protocol or respecting your comfort or needs.

Being clearly ignorant when it comes to the issue you're there for. Things like a therapist that tells you dissociative disorders aren't real, that personality disorders are a reflection of your character, or "yeah I can tell by how you're talking to me right now, you're clearly not autistic"

And if it feels wrong, like really wrong, trust yourself. You're allowed to say "nope we're done here".

[roadside--picnic]

[immigrant]

this was tumblr in 2013

[allegedly-human]

This is tumblr in 2026

[hackernewsrobot]

We Tracked a Shipment of Rare Books. It Ended at an Amazon AI Training Facility

https://www.404media.co/we-tracked-a-shipment-of-rare-books-it-ended-at-an-amazon-ai-training-facility/

[fl-man]

This practice needs to be prosecuted exactly the same as if they were destroying gravestones, monuments, or other historical artifacts.

[draconym]

Me: Fuck, the paper towels I want are on the top shelf.

The Sir David Attenborough That Lives In My Brain: Being smaller-than-average presents an added challenge to foraging ... but necessity is the mother of invention. A little creativity turns a baguette into a tool, and voilà--

(paper towel roll falls on my face)

Sir David Attenborough, pleasantly: Success.

[exxos-von-steamboldt]

(via The Dual Geneva Drive - YouTube)

[oh-frederik-what-a-day-its-been]

[headspace-hotel]

Was I the one scrolling this post like "surely this is going to be the last one"

[plaguedocboi]

May we have a wormse? Please?

ouppy

[friendsofeveryonefoxy]

actually hammerhead flatworms are one of the most dangerous of invasive species because they breed like crazy can breed asexually and actively hunt good worms like earthworms and red worms while leaving little to nothing behind for the environment they invade and they are extremely hard to kill because they can regrow a whole body from just a segment

they literally have to be dipped into a strong ammonia mixture until they dissolve to kill them

[plaguedocboi]

They are invasive in America and Europe (and native to Southeast Asia, btw, but no one ever seems interested in talking about them as native species) but they are absolutely not one of the Most Dangerous nor are they even particularly all that destructive as far as invasive species go. They’ve been in the Americas and Europe for over a hundred years and are already pretty well established; there’s no point to killing them because they’re already around and they’re here to stay.

Those “good worms” you mentioned are also invasive in the Americas. Most earthworm species were accidentally introduced from Europe and Asia and have altered the American ecosystems to a far greater degree than the flatworms ever will, so I don’t see a problem with a few getting eaten by their natural predators.

Do not fear the Ouppy, he is just a little guy who hangs out in your garden.

[torix-gaming]

Why couldn't we have imported bamboo forests? Just so I could legally farm bamboo shoots somewhere. Shits tasty. So is Japanese knotweed, another bamboo, and it's also invasive. Regulated so heavily that you can't get seeds for indoor growing.

Edible and invasive should make a crop perfect for intentional planting and harvesting. It doesn't, but it should.

[the-davest-of-uncles]

I read that as "hammered flatworms" and thought, "Yeah, that's pretty much all of them."

[livelovelaugh-777]

[sugarfreecherrycola]

She’s Right And She Should Say It.

[siryouarebeingmocked]

[rametarin]

A funny thing happens if you look at Sweden's homicides. They use more explosives. Because of the crime gang element.

B-b-b-b-but Sweden is a developed nation, and explosives are illegal! Hm. It's almost as if it's not guns, but criminality itself.

[joinsideke]

I was talking to an Australian the other day, who said they would never visit the US because "it's too dangerous". While I tried to explain that it wasn't as bad they thought and so on, they jumped to how we are selfish for not banning guns to prevent school shootings, and how that's something they never have to worry about down there.

Somehow they completely forgot that Australia just had a mass shooting not that long ago. Despite guns being banned. The year before that, they had a mass stabbing attack that killed almost as many people as the shooting. Despite knives being banned. That one was eventually stopped by a police officer, with her gun. She shot at the attacker as he charged at her, iirc. And these were just two incidents I knew off the top of my head.

They never replied to me after I brought them up.

[rametarin]

They never do. They just cite the, "St. Patrick charmed the snakes out of Ireland!" route, where they talk about how all those anti-gun ownership laws "Prevented so many shootings! You can tell because we don't have them!"

Yeah, just like how your laws against narcotics prevent so many drug addictions. Genius.

[siryouarebeingmocked]

What's ironic is that loads of uninformed people love to claim Australia TOTALLY stopped mass shootings w/ the 1996 laws, which isn't even remotely true. Also, Australia has more guns now than they did back then!

[beardedmrbean]