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Rough-draft-ish timeline for book 1! BTW if you are visual like me, the closest we get to a calendar year for All For the Game is 2006/2007. It’s not 100% accurate, because not all of the dates match up perfectly throughout the whole series, but this is the closest one, with only a few dates off. It diverges in June, so I kept to the book for the rest of June because dates were easy to track; it meets back up with the calendar year in August and so far as I’ve checked sticks pretty close to it for the rest of the series?? The games do at least??

In the days that were too eventful (or I just typed too much for them), I underline the important parts tumblr removed my underlines?? i’ll think of something sorry!!, and for all of it I italicize direct quotes

The Foxhole Court Timeline - Rough Draft Edition

~Friday, April 7 (approx date): Wymack, Kevin, and Andrew come to Arizona to recruit Neil

Thursday, May 11: “Neil Josten” graduates HS

Friday, May 12: Andrew picks Neil up from the airport, he meets Nicky, Aaron, and Abby, sees the court for the first time, moves in with Wymack

Saturday, May 13: Andrew nearly stabs Nicky, Neil exhausts himself trying to score on Andrew

-it gets approximate again here bc it says 5 weeks should pass but only 4 do, so I’m using context to close out the gaps-

~Tuesday, May 30: Neil goes to the court at night for the first time & finds Andrew and Kevin there; Andrew shows Neil the knives hidden in his armbands, beautiful lines such as “exy is just slightly less boring than living is” and “I’m not a math problem” “I’ll still solve you” and “this was a dream he’d have to wake up from eventually” occur

~Wednesday, May 31: Wymack tells Kevin about the district transfer, tells Neil about the Moriyamas, Neil considers running but decides to stay until the match against the Ravens

Thursday, June 1: Raven’s district transfer effective

*Sunday, June 9: foxes move into Fox Tower, Matt offers to kick Kevin’s ass for Neil (and actually does until Andrew stops him), Dan and Renee give Neil tea and cookies like the princesses they are, Andrew goes through Neil’s stuff, Andrew admits for murder w/ no chill instance #1, Neil has a lot of panic attacks and fits of dissociation and decides again to stay because “one of us has to make it” and he’s decided to pick Kevin’s life over his

*Wednesday, June 12: Seth punches Kevin as soon as Andrew leaves for his meeting with Bee

*Friday, June 14: Columbia & all that that disaster entails

*Saturday, June 15: Neil hops out the window, calls Matt to ask him to watch his stuff, hitchhikes/walks home, tells Andrew half (most) of the truth, ends on “Hope was a dangerous and disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it.”

*Monday, June 17: Kevin comes to take Neil to night practice, but Matt and Seth send him away

*Tuesday, June 18: first night practice!!, “the master?” “Coach Moriyama”; Matt waits up for Neil like the precious and pure human he is

*Wednesday, June 19: Nicky asks Aaron (in German) if he thinks Neil will ever forgive them (it’s literally been 4 days, he needs to chill), and Neil realizes that Andrew didn’t tell the others he can speak German and wonders why

*Friday, June 21: ERC makes the official announcement about Edgar Allen’s district transfer; Seth says my person favorite of his lines: “Tell me, when’s the last time anyone cried for you?”

Wednesday, August 23: Team psych evals w Bee

Thursday, August 24: First day of classes, Matt wakes Neil up for practice and the following killer exchange happens: “I’m fine.” “You say that an awful lot.”

Friday, August 25: Game day, all of the upperclassmen take turns walking Neil to/from classes, Seth and Allison sit with him at lunch and tell him about the Renee/Andrew betting pool, Neil finds out Andrew goes sober on game nights, Nicky apologises for the Columbia thing

GAME V BRECKENRIDGE JACKALS: Seth and Kevin fight on court 13 minutes into the game (no one took Nicky’s bet so he doesn’t win anything), Neil goes in at 20 minutes for Seth (”Hey Pinnocchio, time to run. This one’s for you.”), Matt punches Gorilla for Kevin and then runs and hides behind Andrew for safety (these nerds are such children I love them), Neil begins to feel a burning hatred for the jackals: “Gorilla had been trying to hurt Kevin’s hand his first day back on the court, which was unbelievably cruel. Neil hoped Matt had bruised some ribs with that punch.”; Neil scores his first goal!!; final score 7-9 loss (not bad tbh), and then the upperclassmen/Neil stay up all night partying like the nerds they are, I love these kids

Saturday, August 26: Kathy’s show, Neil’s 1st time on the bus, “Kevin’s smile was a brittle and bitter thing”; Kevin threatens to cut Neil off from night practices to force him to go on Kathy’s show (and Andrew laughs and calls Neil an idiot); “As complicated as Neil’s obsession with Kevin was, one truth was undeniable: he didn’t want Kevin to hate him.”; “I think of you as one half of a whole.” “At least I have room to stretch out now.” that is a SAVAGE BURN coming from Kevin wow; but then fuckface Riko appears, fuck him 5ever; “Renee was sitting sideways in Andrew’s lap, one foot braced against the ground to keep him from shoving her off”; Neil insults Riko on national television because “his temper couldn’t stomach any more of Riko’s cruelty”; Neil is actually afraid of Riko a little/lot because “Riko had the same stare that his father did: he looked at Neil and saw only flesh that knew how to bleed”; Andrew puts himself between Riko and Neil <3; back at home Andrew punches through his window; “Oh Neil, as unpredictable as he is unreal” wow Andrew you’re falling in love already aren’t you??; “running was only an option when no one was looking” & “You gave your game to Kevin. Give your back to me.”; Columbia: “Let Andrew buy you things if he wants to. He’s not usually the gift-giving type.” & “You’re one of us, which means we’ll never push you farther than you’re willing to go.” ; Andrew disappears for 30 minutes (so he goes and does the do with Roland in the back room!!!); Wymack calls with the news about Seth’s overdose (Andrew, Kevin, and Neil have too much chill about this news “keep up with the conversation” “what about the lineup” “that apathy doesn’t bode well for your sanity”); Andrew gives Neil the key

-end of book 1-

Book 1 covers 18 specific days days and spans ~5months

so @coldsaturn @glenflower and @unidentified-flying-outrage here’s the first draft!

sunshineprincejeremyknox

-note: before I was underlining important bits on days when a ton happens, but tumblr disapproves of underlining, so for this one I’m trying out bolding; idk tell me if you have a preference?? these are drafts for a reason I guess-

The Raven King - Rough Timeline/ First Draft

Sunday, August 27: Andrew and Matt get into a fight, Wymack banishes the upperclassmen to Abby’s house and has Neil spend a few nights sleeping on his couch again

Wednesday, August 30: Team minus Allison (& Andrew, at Bee’s) meets for practice, (once Andrew returns) Detective Higgins calls, Andrew loses his shit a lot (”Try and put me on your court and I’ll take myself off it permanently. Fuck your practice, your line-up, and your stupid fucking game.”), Nicky tells the upperclassmen + Neil about Higgins finding Aaron/the Twins revelation, Matt and Dan talk to Neil about trying to help them get an in with Andrew’s group, Dan and Matt help Neil drop 2 classes and fix his schedule, Renee returns banged up from sparring with Andrew

Thursday, August 31: “uncomfortable” practice in which the team has the potential to be unified for the first time, so Dan and Matt feel guilty, and Neil has too much chill again: “Neil wanted to tell them death was no reason to hold back, but he found their humanity interesting. He just hoped they got over it before first serve on Friday.”

Friday, September 1: first away game, Neil is awkward at Allison (”Neil hadn’t been directly responsible for someone’s death in years” & “for all his problems connecting with other people, [Neil] didn’t want to be a monster”), Wymack asks Andrew to play through the entire game, Andrew cuts Kevin for pushing him up against the lockers

GAME AGAINST BELMONTE: Kevin is lovely and actually gives Neil advice about playing through ¾ of the game, Neil does the super dangerous move that nearly dislocates his shoulder to score a point, halftime score 4-4, (“How are you doing?” “I’m fine.” “Thank you for being so predictable, Neil. You just scored me ten bucks with two words.”); Andrew starts playing like he means it, (“Neil had permission to run himself ragged on the offense. Neil was the least experienced person on the team, but he was the fastest and the most desperate. Every minute on the court brought him one minute closer to saying goodbye to Exy forever.” aka this kid never stops making me cry over him for even one second??); Terappin striker attacks Matt and Renee gets involved to pull him off, which gets them all yellow cards (super unfair jfc); “Kevin put them in the lead with one minute left on the clock”; Andrew makes an impossible save and literally breaks his racquet in the process (when he tries, he fucking tries), the girls are precious and handle press so that Neil can use their showers (<333) (”Kid, you’re killing me,” Nicky said. “Why do you always get that deer-in-the-headlights look when someone does something nice for you?”) (”Why did you pay for stalls, Coach?” Wymack lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “Maybe I knew you’d need them one day.”); most of the team actually gathers to discuss the game and celebrate on the ride back (Allison and Andrew excluded) (”As he listened to them, Neil realized he was happy. It was such an unexpected and unfamiliar feeling he lost track of the conversation for a minute. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this included or safe.” I can’t stop crying over this kid someone help me)

Tuesday, September 5: the monsters drag Neil out shopping for the banquet, Kevin is an asshole as always (”Stop being a bad influence. I am going to make him Court. It’ll be easier if he remains heterosexual.”); Andrew is very done with people debating Neil’s sexuality (esp. in front of him) (”Come on, Kevin. Even you have to admit this is really weird.” Andrew threw his hands up. “Newsflash, Nicky: Neil isn’t normal.”); trashy lines occur (”You don’t kill people over a game.” “It isn’t a game where I come from.”); Nicky picks out a huge pile of clothes for Neil and uses the p-card to pay for it; Andrew buys Neil a phone and Neil has a very severe panic attack (”He didn’t think a small thing like this should hurt so much, but the grief that punched through him left him in pieces.”) (”I can’t.” It was too ragged and too honest, but Neil couldn’t help it. If he didn’t get rid of that phone he was going to be sick. “Nicky, I–” “Okay, okay,” Nicky said, taking Neil’s hand in both of his. “We’ll figure this out.”); at night practice, Andrew talks to Neil about keeping the phone (”Your phone is ringing,” Andrew said. “You should answer it.” Neil picked it up with numb fingers and opened it. He spared only a second to look at Andrew’s name on the screen before he answered and put it to his ear. “Your parents are dead, you are not fine, and nothing is going to be okay,” Andrew said. “This is not news to you. But from now until May you are still Neil Josten and I am still the man who said he would keep you alive.”); Neil asks Andrew about Higgins’ call (”I don’t like that word.” Neil hesitated. “Extreme?” “Misunderstanding.”); Neil’s speed dial list is: 1 - Andrew, 2 - Kevin, 3 - Wymack, and 4 - Bee (whom he promptly deletes); Neil hides in the bathroom that night in his and Matt’s flat and stares at his phone and probably has a couple more panic attacks because he is smol and broken and lives to make my heart ache

Wednesday, September 6: “Neil’s phone went off the next morning and startled five years off his life expectancy”; Dan texts and Neil barely restrains himself from being salty af; Matt texts twice; Neil gets incredibly angsty about the fact that “phones were for emergencies, not running commentary on a teacher’s boring lecture”; Nicky texts constantly with no signs of stopping

Thursday, September 7: Neil snaps and texts Nicky back: He sat on the stairs of the hall where he had his tutoring session and painstakingly typed a message out. “What happens when you use up all your messages and then need them?” (note that our smol baby fox used a FLIP PHONE to type out all of that and used correct grammar and everything it probably took him like five minutes)

Friday, September 8: away game v USC-Columbia; Nicky gets pissy bc Wymack won’t let them party at Eden’s Twilight so close to the banquet (smart); Neil can finally check his phone “like a normal human being” (”you’re welcome. I just saved you at least two hundred dollars in intensive therapy.” Neil didn’t think Nicky wearing down his guard was something to be grateful for, but he obediently said, “Thank you.” “You ever say that like it’s not a question?” Nicky asked, looking pained.) (me too, Nicky);

Saturday, September 9: Fall Banquet @ Blackwell University (4 hours away); (Neil tried keeping his cool, but Kevin started losing his the first time they passed a sign pointing out the way to Blackwell. Neil heard his short, ragged breaths as Kevin valiantly fought off a panic attack and it did nothing for Neil’s nerves.); Wymack gives Kevin vodka because the only way to get Kevin through banquets is alcohol (to be fair they’re probably one hell of a trigger for him even without the anticipation of seeing Riko??) (It was alarming how much a man could drink when he needed an emotional crutch. Wymack had to pry the bottle from Kevin’s desperate fingers afterward.); someone (probably paid off by Riko) actually decided to put the Foxes and the Ravens at the same table; I love Jean a lot but I choose sides when he’s threatening Neil; Andrew is beautiful and terrifying and admittedly hilarious on his meds (”Jean,” he said. “Hey, Jean. Jean Valjean. Hey. Hey. Hello.” Jean huffled a little in annoyance but looked at Andrew. Andrew held out his hand and Jean was foolish enough to take it. Andrew’s knuckles went white as he crushed Jean’s hand.); Jean loses track of his thoughts for a moment when he looks at Renee (<333); Neil tries REALLY HARD to not lose his temper (Neil left half-moon marks on the back of Nicky’s hand with his fingernails and counted to ten. He only made it to four before Riko opened his mouth again. “What a coward,” Riko said with exaggerated disappointment. “Just like his mother.” Neil stopped counting.); Neil tears Riko a new asshole and it’s amazing (Neil was too upset to be afraid. He’d have a nervous breakdown later. Right now he leaned forward and looked down the table at Dan, who sat with her face buried in her hands. “Dan, I said please. I tried to be nice.”); Jean drops the “Did you forget who bought you?” line and then becomes hysterical when he realizes neither Kevin nor Neil understands; Kevin finds out who Neil is, has another panic attack, and runs off to get too drunk to care; Andrew literally says “I told you so”; Neil considers running but feels the phone in his pocket and stops; Dan slams her high heels into the crotch of the Raven who is trying to insult her, forever winning my admiration and idolization; first appearance of Tetsuji (He was a legend. He was also a demon: Riko’s abusive uncle and the younger brother of the Moriyama yakuza boss. “Master,” Kevin said, voice catching with fear. “It’s been a while.”); Neil and Riko have their private conversation and Neil accepts his imminent demise and just continues to be a mouthy little shit (”Learn your place. I will never tolerate this level of disrespect from you again. Do you understand?” Neil was already in his coffin. He might as well nail it shut. “Yeah, I understand you’re a complete asshole.”); Andrew is ridiculously pleased by Neil’s stupid phone pun but also by the fact that Neil didn’t run (he’s definitely fall by now right??); Wymack drags Neil home with him after they get back and Neil crashes on his couch

Sunday, September 10: Coach attempts to talk to Neil about the banquet; Neil admits to being a pathological liar; Coach is the best?? (”Sometimes the world feels so big, but then I’m reminded how small it is.” “Big or small, just remember you’re not alone in it.”); Coach flips shit when Neil lets slip Andrew’s theory about Seth’s death and will have none of the victim-blaming bullshit that all of their fucked up mindsets promote; Neil meets Kevin at the court (”Tell me you aren’t really Nathaniel.” Neil tried not to flinch at the sound of his real name and didn’t quite succeed. “Don’t call me that.”); Neil explains how he got here and Kevin explains all of the shit Neil didn’t know before (”You were supposed to be like me,” Kevin said. “You were a gift, another player for the master to train.”); after going over the (shitty) options, Kevin and Neil both accept Neil’s impending demise (”You should be Court.” It was barely a whisper, but it cut Neil to the bone. It was a resentful goodbye to the bright future Kevin had wanted for Neil.) (”Will you still teach me?” Neil asked. Kevin was quiet again, but not for long this time. “Every night.”) (I cry A LOT at this part); Neil asks Kevin what Andrew wants from him badly enough to offer both of them his protection (”I was the first person who ever looked at Andrew and told him he was worth something. When he comes off these drugs and has nothing else to hold him up I will give him something to build his life around.”); Kevin agrees to keep Neil’s secrets from Andrew

~Saturday, September 23: Allison talks to Neil again for the first time (she asks him to pass the ketchup at dinner)

~late September, probably a weekday?: Neil sees Aaron and Katelyn being cutesy at the library; Nicky joins Neil to study and has the talk with him (”You can love Exy all you want, but it’s never gonna love you back.” “So?” “Oh my God.” Nicky looked torn between horror and pity. “Seriously? That might be the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.”); Nicky also tells Neil the story about how Andrew murdered Aaron’s mother and they argue over Aaron’s motives, because Neil’s catching on that Andrew isn’t actually soulless (”Maybe he didn’t kill her for giving him up. Maybe he did it to protect Aaron.” Nicky looked skeptical. “That is a seriously big maybe, Neil.” “Is it?” Neil asked. “Do you remember how Andrew ended up on his medication?” “Yeah,” Nicky said, then went quiet as he thought about it.)

Thursday, October 12: pep rally with mandatory attendance for the foxes (Wymack kept Neil away from the microphone, not trusting Neil to behave himself.) (Wymack is nobody’s fool.); Dan begins to freak out because she’s not used to dealing with positive attention

Friday, October 13: Kevin doesn’t speak during morning practice; Wymack pulls the team from afternoon classes and hides them away in the stadium; Wymack tells Neil to score at least five points against the Ravens and orders Andrew “for once in your miserable midgety life play like you want us to win”; Riko hugs Kevin before the game (and Andrew has to hit his racquet against the court wall to to make Kevin unfreeze);

GAME V RAVENS: Jean is up against Kevin; the Ravens score on Andrew two minutes into the game; Matt gets put against Riko and is so exited; Andrew leaves to goal to redirect the ball (to Neil), Neil and Kevin use Raven precision to score the first goal (”Kevin’s smile was fleeting but fierce. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. It was the first sign of approval Neil had gotten from him since they’d met and Neil felt it like an adrenaline boost.”); Riko scores a foul shot on Andrew and “the game’s sportsmanship died with that shot”; “by the time Neil got elbowed in the face at the forty-four minute mark, every player on the court had a yellow card and one Raven had been kicked off with a red”; Neil scores on the penalty shot and Matt suggests that Neil get elbowed more often if it means they score (Neil says he isn’t a fan of the plan, but let’s be real, he probably would, especially to beat the Ravens); 6-3 (Ravens) at halftime; Andrew is wearing out much quicker than usual and Neil gets angry at himself for not being worth Andrew’s suffering; final score 13-6 (not bad?? against the Ravens??) “the most goals anyone had ever taken from Andrew”; but “the Ravens had taken an incredible one hundred and fifty shots on goal; it was unbelievable that Andrew had only missed thirteen of them”; Kevin says he is satisfied with the foxes and they forget Riko to stare at him in incredulity; Wymack sets Kevin and Neil to playing full games and fixes the lineup

Saturday, October 14: the monster’s go out for early lunch and then Halloween shopping; Dan texts to ask where they’re at; Andrew agrees to let Neil invite the upperclassmen to Eden’s Twilight for Halloween (”I’m asking you to give an inch.” “Give an inch and they’ll take a mile,” Aaron said. “You really think they’re strong enough to take a mile from Andrew?”); Higgins visits to talk to Andrew (”Kids? Kids, plural. You only mentioned one last time, Pig. How many are you talking about? How many has she had?” “You wouldn’t care about the number unless there was something for me to find.”) (”Do you need Renee?” “Oh, Dan,” Andrew said, amused and pitying. He stopped in his doorway to look back at her. “I don’t need anyone. Goodbye.”) (”Andrew hadn’t given away any of Neil’s secrets, so Neil wouldn’t give up his.”); Matt tells Neil about his Columbia trip; Neil is actually going to be a zombie cowboy for Halloween

Friday, October 27: Halloween in Columbia; Bee sends Andrew the picture of her Halloween costume (”What do you have against Betsy?” “She’s a psychiatrist,” Neil said. “I distrust her on principle.”) (”Andrew goes through shrinks like he’s trying to break a world record only he knows about. She’s his eighth one at least.” “Thirteenth,” Andrew said. “She made sure to ask me if I was superstitious.”); Roland accuses Andrew of making friends; Andrew hints about his attraction to Neil and Neil remains intensely oblivious (“Sometimes you’re interesting enough to keep around. Other times you’re so astonishingly stupid I can barely stand the sight of you.” Neil scowled at him. “Forget it.”)

Monday, October 30: Neil actually talks to Renee (Renee laughed. “I should stop betting against Andrew when it comes to you.”); Renee tells Neil her story; Renee tells Neil that Andrew’s gay (and Neil’s first response is “Oh, then he and Kevin–”) (no, little fox, YOU); Neil learns about Thea

Saturday, November 4: Andrew and Aaron’s birthday; Nicky begs Neil to convince Andrew to attend dinner with Nicky’s parents (”I grew up in that house, but Dad hasn’t let me set foot in it since I came back out of the closet.”) (Just in case anyone was running low on reasons to hate Luther); Andrew tells Neil about Cass (”I went to juvie because she wanted to adopt me.”) (”My own Stephanie Walker, of a sort.”); Andrew tells Neil why he hates Luther (”He said it was a misunderstanding.” The way Andrew went so perfectly still, if only for a second, told Neil he was right. “Shh,” Andrew said, soft like he was reassuring a cornered animal. “Shh, don’t say that. I hate the sound of that word. I warned you once so you’d know better than to use it again.”); Andrew agrees to the dinner if the date is changed and Kevin and Neil also come (”We’re all going to regret this.”); Andrew tells Neil why he killed Aaron’s mother (”Does that frighten you, Neil?” “My first memories are of people dying,” Neil said. “I’m not afraid of you.” “That’s why you’re so interesting,” Andrew said. “How aggravating.”); Nicky’s happiness makes Neil feel like he did a good thing (but he still falls asleep worrying)

Friday, November 10: away game in Florida, Foxes win

Saturday, November 11: day spent driving back to Palmetto State

Sunday, November 12: stop at Exites to get Neil a heavy racquet; Neil and Andrew have real talk (”When they finally take your medicine away, who are you going to hurt, really?” Andrew laughed. “I’m remembering why I don’t like you.” “I’m surprised you forgot.” “I didn’t,” Andrew said. “I just got distracted for a minute there.”) (aka the flirting intensifies); Neil freaks out about the cost of the racquets (my best estimate is that at most they were about $300 each which like?? doesn’t seem terrible for a Kevin Day quality pro racquet??); Andrew wants to use the racquet to bust up Luther’s car (I encourage it the impulse); Maria mixes up Aaron and Andrew because she doesn’t remember that Andrew’s on meds after, you know, saving her son’s life, and Nicky is annoyed af that she doesn’t even care about the twins very much (Nicky is so protective, he’s probably always going to feel super responsible for their well being); Andrew mentions that he’s surprised Nicky’s parents didn’t file a restraining order against him and I would really like to know that story; Andrew is an insouciant little shit and doesn’t pray before the meal; dinner is awkward and Nicky’s parents are awful; Aaron is forced to do most of the talking for everyone’s sake; Andrew quietly threatens Luther to shut up his tirade against (specifically Nicky’s) homosexuality; Andrew and Luther argue, Neil considers and decides against intervening; after too long Neil goes to look for Andrew and pretty much loses it when he hears Luther say that Drake is there; Neil kicks down the door like a fucking bamf; I really don’t need to tell you what happens in the room, because we all know; AARON BASHES IN DRAKE’S SKULL WITH A HEAVY RACQUET (FUCK YEAH); Andrew’s incessant laughter makes Neil sick; Andrew is fiercely concerned for and protective of Aaron and for once Aaron actually also seems to care back A LOT (”Andrew,” Aaron said, desperate and frightened. He held onto Andrew like he thought Andrew would disappear if he let go.) (”Did he touch you?” “What did he–” Andrew knotted his fingers in Aaron’s hair and yanked to shut him up. “Answer me. I said, did he touch you?” “No,” Aaron said.); funny lines should not be allowed to happen in the middle of this pain, and yet: (“I’m going to kill him,” Andrew said. “He’s already dead,” Neil said. “That explains the silence,” Andrew said); Nicky is so upset (The noise he made didn’t sound human. Neil felt it like poison in his veins, but Andrew only laughed.); Luther is so lucky that Andrew can’t move because otherwise he’d be dead for putting Aaron and Nicky at risk (”Hey, Luther,” Andrew said. “Speaking of misunderstandings, am I remembering this wrong, or didn’t you promise me you would talk to Cass? You told me she wasn’t going to foster any more children after me, but apparently she’s had six more since I left juvie.”) (”You put him under the same roof as your son, as my brother. After everything I did to keep them away from each other?”); Aaron definitely agrees with me that Luther should die (he screams a lot); Andrew gives Neil his armbands, Neil sees Andrew’s self-harm scars; Neil didn’t know if this was sheer Fox bad luck, if he’d jinxed all of this by his very presence, or if rape and murder were always this complicated (jfc Neil, yes, they’re pretty complicated in the normal world); Wymack comes to collect them, Neil actually says “I’m fine”, Neil was labeled as a hostile witness (!!) because he’s afraid that if he tries to talk about it, the words will turn to lies (because lies are all he is), and Andrew deserves better; every time Andrew laughs Neil dies inside; Andrew tries to use Neil to distract Bee and they fight (”You helped create this mess. The least you could do is help clean it up. Where’s your sense of responsibility?” A knife wouldn’t hurt this much. […] He wanted to say this wasn’t his fault, but they both knew it was.), Andrew actually chokes Neil until he almost has to fight back and then he tells Neil about Drake’s ideas for Aaron, Neil is 100% dying inside with pain for Andrew’s sake (and it kills me) (Neil flinched. He’d pushed because he needed to see that horrible smile crack. He needed to know if Andrew was screaming behind the euphoria his drugs fed his veins. But Andrew wasn’t, and Neil couldn’t live with that.) (”Better luck next time,” he said. “I warned you once already, didn’t I? I don’t feel anything.” “Anymore,” Neil said, barely a whisper. The old scars up and down Andrew’s wrists were evidence of how far Andrew had to fall to hit this point.) (Basically loving someone who no longer cares about themselves hurts and Neil is no equipped to deal with this much pain on another person’s behalf); Neil runs because he literally can’t handle his emotions (He didn’t know how to face this yet. He didn’t know how to compartmentalize it into something he could tolerate. Maybe he’d figure it out tomorrow. Maybe he’d carry it with him until the Moriyamas killed him. Neil didn’t know. He didn’t want to know. He ran until he couldn’t breathe, but he never stopped hurting.)

Monday, November 13: Neil goes back, wakes when Wymack gets up and they (try to) talk (”I’m fine.” It was out before he could stop it. Wymack didn’t have to say anything. The look on his face said enough. […] “Neil,” Wymack said, “between you and me, I don’t think you’ve ever been fine.”); Andrew sends Neil shopping with Bee (revenge or concern? both? neither?); Betsy tries to talk to Neil and actually brings up that entering the room ‘armed’ could be seen as premeditated murder, Neil wants his racquet back (smol stubborn fox gives no fucks about death) (”Would you want it back?” “Do you have any idea how much it cost?” Neil asked. “Yes, I want it back.” “It wouldn’t bother you that it was used as a murder weapon?” “It didn’t kill anyone important.” “Interesting.”) (Neil’s starting to sound like Kevin?? those are literally Kevin’s words about Seth’s death??); Betsy hands Neil the key to Neil’s car and his brain short circuits; Neil collects Andrew’s knives and dissociates really hard while in the room (smol baby fox); Neil changes out of bloodstained clothes; Neil eavesdrops and tells Bee to commit Andrew so he can go off of his meds (Abby is opposed, Wymack stands with Bee); Nicky is blaming himself, so Neil gives him Wymack’s no-victim-blaming talk; Neil makes breakfast and talks to Kevin so that Nicky has privacy to call Erik (can you imagine getting that phone call? poor guy. everything is pain); Andrew bolts downstairs to check on Kevin, Kevin freaks out when Andrew tells him that he’s being sent away, Neil promises to keep Kevin safe, Neil has Andrew touches his scars as a promise and a truth, Neil tells Andrew his middle name; Andrew checks in on Nicky and gets gone as soon as possible; Wymack is ultimate team Dad (”Look,” Wymack said. “I know I’ve always told you all to take your problems up with Betsy or Abby. I’ve said it’s not my place to get into anything outside the court. I hope you’ve figured out by now I’m just blowing hot air. I’m not real good at being a shoulder, but I do have a working set of ears.” “There’s nothing to say,” Neil said. “Maybe not right now,” Wymack said, “but that offer doesn’t expire.”); Aaron is released on recognizance; Neil tries to manipulate Aaron into understanding why Andrew killed their mother in an attempt to begin mending their issues; Neil drives back to campus; the upperclassmen were good and brought Katelyn for Aaron; Matt’s mom paid Aaron’s bail (”Thank you,” Nicky said, quiet but fervent. “I don’t know why you did it, but–thanks.”); Aaron leaves with Katelyn; Kevin is upset about Andrew’s absence and Neil lays into him (”After everything he’s done and every risk he’s taken for you, you’d better feel the same.” “It’s not that simple,” Kevin started. “Then simplify it.”); everyone (except Renee and Neil) gets super drunk; everyone but Allison sleeps over; Neil sleeps curled up in the corner against the wall so that he can keep an eye on everyone

Tuesday, November 14: morning practice is pushed back from 8 to 10; most of the NCAA class 1 teams vote to allow the Foxes to continue playing (”I want one lap for every time you’ve ever said the NCAA’s never had your back.” “Oh, Jesus,” Nicky said. “We’ll be running all day.”); the ERC votes to allow them to continue their season

Wednesday, November 15: Aaron shows up for practice, so Neil drives (Matt makes faces); Neil asks Matt to teach him how to fight

Thursday, November 16: Katelyn joins them at the dining hall for dinner

Friday, November 17: game v JD Tornadoes, Foxes win (6 up); the whole team celebrates, Vixens included; Nicky calls Neil his friend and Neil actually has to ask if it’s true (Neil might have apologized, except Nicky reached out and scrubbed a gloved hand through Neil’s hair. “You are going to be the absolute death of me,” Nicky said. “Yeah, kid. We’re friends.”)

Thursday, November 23: Thanksgiving at Abby’s (if you want to cry, think about how Andrew actually wanted to spend it there); Neil’s first Thanksgiving; Nicky explains to Neil that Thanksgiving is “about family. Not necessarily the one we were born with, but the one we chose. This one.”; Kevin offers to go sober and watch Neil if Neil wants to drink (”I only see that look on Neil’s face when someone tries to do something nice for him, but we all know Kevin’s as bratty as they come.”); Nicky tries to convince Neil to sleep over so he doesn’t spend the holiday alone

Monday, November 27: foxes return from break; last week of Exy (fall) season; group dinners continue and Aaron slowly acclimates

Tuesday, November 28: Katelyn is at group dinner

Wednesday, November 29: group dinner plus four Vixens downtown; a cheerleader (Marissa) sits between Kevin and Neil and flirts with Neil (who does not understand and does not like it; “Neil had taken the outside seat on the bench but he still felt trapped.”); Marissa asks Neil out and is mercilessly shot down (Neil thinks about Andrew while a girl is asking him out) (he is literally wondering if Andrew will still be interested in him once he’s off his meds) (”Do girls need kid-glove treatment? I thought they were tougher than that.” Dan’s grin was approving. “Most of us are. Some of us are like boys, though, and have delicate egos.”); Renee asks Neil to be her date for the banquet, and Matt makes a comment about Neil stealing Andrew’s car and his girl; Matt invites Neil and the monsters to stay with him for Christmas

Friday, December 1: final game of the season (said during the first trip to Exites to be against JD Tornadoes, but the Foxes play the Tornadoes two weeks before, so team unknown, but win assumed)

Friday, December 15: Foxes’ end of semester party

Saturday, December 16: Exy Christmas banquet at Beckenridge (7 hours away); Kevin is nonverbal with nerves and Neil tries to be strong; the Foxes sit with the Wilkes-Meyers Hornets; Palmetto ranks second in the district; Renee is a cool date who understands Neil’s responsibility to Kevin; Riko is literally the worst and Neil is having none of it (”Your insolence has already cost you two teammates.”) (”You’re not part of that family, remember? You’re the cast-off.” He hoped it would hit, but he didn’t realize how deep it would cut. He’d never seen that look on Riko’s face but he knew he’d signed his death warrant.); Jean drags Kevin away and clings onto him for dear life; Riko nearly breaks Neil’s wrist in front of everyone (”I do not care if they see,” Riko said. “A dog who bites his master’s hand deserves to be slaughtered. The location and audience are inconsequential.”); Riko orders Neil to Evermore for Christmas break under threat of Proust, so Neil punches him (twice) and they fight (Riko pulled Neil close one last time before the crowd ripped them away from each other, long enough for him to say, “You just cost him something he didn’t want to lose.”); Neil literally wants to murder Riko and would if he had the means; Neil agrees to go to Castle Evermore; Wymack does not put up with anyone trying to assign Neil sole blame for the fight; Neil tells the team about Riko’s involvement with Drake; the foxes leave the banquet early; Kevin gives Neil his ticket

Sunday, December 17: Neil lies to Matt and Nicky to get out of Christmas plans; Neil has too many possessions to pack in one bag, for the first time in his life; Neil gives Kevin the binder to look after; Neil is put in a window seat and gets anxious; Jean picks him up; the Ravens’ cars are identical except for their serialized license plates (”This isn’t a team,” Neil said. “It’s a cult.”); The Nest is nicely furnished but dark and claustrophobic (The shadows were sucking the air out of the room and Neil was suddenly keenly aware of the weight of the stadium overhead. Neil wasn’t claustrophobic, but he thought two weeks down here might change that.); Kevin’s room is untouched like he still lives there; Jean explains the pair-based system to Neil and asks him not to get them killed on the first day; Neil is switched to back-liner; Neil has full Raven gear with his name on it; Jean tells Neil that Wymack is Kevin’s father; Neil’s new number is four (”Did you know? In Japanese, ‘four’ and ‘death’ sound the same.”); Tetsuji beats Neil until he passes out, Jean wakes him up (by dumping water over his head) after two hours and Neil is forced through a four hour practice (By the time they were finally able to shower Neil could barely move. He didn’t even care that the Raven’s shower room lacked stalls. He knelt on the tiled floor under the spray and let the heat ease some of the pain from his shattered body.); THE RAVENS RUN ON SIXTEEN-HOUR DAYS that is some fucked up psychological brainwashing bullshit I can’t even handle it; Riko tortures Neil (”I am going to love hurting you,” Riko said, “like I loved hurting Kevin.”) and he uses knives yay

Sunday, December 31: Neil wakes up in South Carolina and doesn’t even remember having left Castle Evermore; he is so confused by Jean’s absence; (Getting here was only half the battle. The other half was getting to his feet.); Neil calls Wymack (”Are you all right?” Neil smiled. It felt like it tore his face open. “No. No, I’m not.”); Neil is losing time like whoa; Neil sees his natural looks in the bathroom mirror and stops breathing, Wymack gives him a cigarette to calm him down (”I think I pulled my stitches,” Neil said. “I feel blood.” “Where?” Wymack asked. “Everywhere?” Neil guessed.); Neil finds the 4 tattoo and attempts to knife it off of his face (same, kiddo, I can’t even fault him for trying?) and Wymack has to pin him down to stop him (”Help me,” he said through gritted teeth. “Let me,” Wymack shot back.”); (”What does Andrew have to do with this?” “Everything that matters.”); Wymack patches Neil up, and Neil alludes to his life on the run (”Is that enough, Coach? It’s a truth on credit to hold you until spring.”); they watch the ball drop (”I want to make a wish.” “You make wishes on shooting stars,” Wymack said. “New Year’s is for resolutions.” “That’s okay too,” Neil said.); Neil texts the team a Happy New Year (He was their family. They were his. They were worth every cut and bruise and scream.)

-end Book 2-

Note: Andrew spends 55 days at Easthaven, according to my mental math.

coldsaturn

this broke me

#aftg #all for the game

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