Call for mutual aid! Hi all- some of you know my mom has been sick for some time now. She currently suffers from diabetes, and glaucoma due
Saving my mom's eyesight.
Hi guys- so. Gofundme doesn't work in the Philippines, so I had to arrange this on fundrazr, where PayPal works! No account needed- it's where I also fundraised surgery for my dad.
It would mean everything if you guys could please, please, once more spare me a reblog.. would much appreciate it.
I had some funds saved via commissions back in March, but they have been depleted because I did not account for her care after surgery- and because it kept getting delayed because they kept needing additional lab tests from her. Mom has preexisting conditions, like her kidneys are very weak, she is prone to seizures due to a brain injury from a sudden sepsis attack a few years ago, and she has diabetes.
Im sincerely n humbly asking for mutual aid.
I'm a disabled trans guy from the global south. Don't have a car, and I have been taking care of my family ever since I was a teenager all by myself- I have three jobs at the moment, but none of them are stable incomes, and because out of all four of us, I am the only one who works, I've been living paycheck to paycheck due to both my parents medical and day to day needs. I've put all the info I have on the fundrazr post.. and for additional info.. this is the most recent prescription/ note from the doctor.
I guess this is all. I'm so very sorry for having to write another one of these posts, but have been having an extremely difficult time, and prayers, donations, shares and even just a kind word would mean the whole world to me. Thank you so so much.
this must have been one of my most popular posts from back in the day. i vaguely remember the time this was posted; i was 15. that’s weird to think about!
today, at 23, i am remorseful for posting this and other posts; a list of posts that would be exceedingly long if i took the time to truly excavate them.
i regret having engaged in a culture that carelessly speculated about dan and phil’s sexuality. it wasn’t purely speculation, though. it was an entire community, and culture, that made a spectacle of their sexualities without their consent.
i don’t write this to evoke a sense of shame in the community. most of us were children. dan and phil knew this.
however, i would be remiss to not at least try to address how this post makes me feel today – especially given what we know now.
i am a queer woman who is still not out to my parents. i would be mortified if i were trying to do my job and suddenly had thousands of people trying to expose my sexuality on a global platform. i can only imagine how dan and phil felt in the early 2010s going through this.
tumblr was a safe space for many of us. personally, i felt like a fish out of water in my hometown. i certainly sensed the queer-ness in our community. my theory is that watching dan and phil was like looking in a mirror and recognizing familiarity, but neither side of the parallel went so far as to address the elephant in the room. i did not fully appreciate that neither side had an obligation to address anything, especially when i did not realize what was happening in the moment.
i find a lot of joy in watching dan and phil grow into, what appears to be, a more authentic expression of themselves. i also feel gratitude knowing that our ability to witness this chapter is something we are never owed, nor should expect.
with information coming forward about other content creators from the 2010s, i am grateful that dan and phil took great care to interact with their mostly under-age followers in a respectful way. even when dan expressed the negative consequences of our intrusive speculation, he was tactful and kind. we were not owed that, either.
very loosely (and in a para-social setting), i do think dan and phil helped raise a generation of queer kids. going to dan’s live show a year ago was potentially one of the most healing live events i have ever been to, especially after the pandemic. he articulated the beauty in having a community without shying around the struggles.
all of this is to say: i am remorseful in this blog’s role towards any speculation of d&p’s sexualities. but i am also so grateful to have supported dan and phil, and to still have the ability to support their creative endeavors. i am grateful that they afforded us the ability to learn and grow without totally discrediting what the phandom was and/or stood for.
thank you for reading. and thank you for supporting this blog back in the day. i truly believe my life would look a lot less colorful and authentic if i had not found this community. i hope you are doing well.
I’ve struggled for a long time to express this exact dichotomy. because when I try to, it often sounds like the cringe culture retrospectives that people write about things they only hate because they outgrew the things. but that’s not it.
the og phandom had a lot going for it. it was a safe space for us and for many of us it was our only real source of community. and beyond that, there were corners where we just had fun with the content.
but the toxic speculation and parasocial rpf discourse was a huge part of it that many of us (including me) participated in. and it was massively harmful to Dan and Phil personally, but it was also harmful for closeted phannies looking on and people in other fandoms who got pulled into it with no warning on their own separate posts.
I’ve been trying for years to find a way to address both sides of it. my remorse for my part in the negatives and my nostalgia for the positives. and I know I’m not the only one who understands that balance but struggles to address it the way we should. and you put it all into words perfectly. thank you
I do know you have too many messages right now. And it might seem really insignificant. But, my 12 y.o. son, a war refugee and a domestic abuse survivor, just saw the ending of the Season 2, and is crying hard, saying that it’s all wrong, and it shouldn’t be like that, because Crowley and Aziraphale love each other. I beg you, please, would you find a couple of kind words just to help me soothe him?
Tell him that it will all be all right in the end, and that we are not yet at the end.
Watched The Eight Sense. I know I'm not the first person to say this but... it was too oddly similar to Skam S3.
I'm gonna list the similarities just to get them off my head
-WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD-
-Cigarettes being involved in the part where they first meet
-Joining a club bc the other guy's in it
-Kissing as a joke then full-on making out IN WATER
-Spending a night together before the chaos
-Abandoning the other (Jihyun and Isak) so suddenly because of their mental health (Jaewon and Even)
-A sombre song playing in the background as they reunite/ get back together
-THAT SCENE IN A BED WHERE THEY MAKEOUT AFTER REUNITING (especially that part where they're lying opposite each other you know what I mean)
This one!!!
Also, unrelated to the plot and may be a bit of a reach but
-the title cards being transparent all the time
-both used many songs in the background (kinda prominent with western shows, actually)
There's no doubt the creators took inspiration from Skam S3 like there is no way these are just coincidences. Anyway both shows have their strengths and weaknesses but Skam S3 will always have a special place in my heart
I think what makes ODT different is that it doesn’t use trauma and grief for shock value. It treats trauma and grief as earth shattering but common. It lays out terrible things as realities because that is how life it. You experience sickness and death and the next semester at university starts whether you like it or not. Whether you decide to show up or not.
Family can have treated you well in some ways and completely traumatized you in others. It would be nice if they acknowledge that and change but most of the time they will expect you to ignore the pain and show up at family events like nothing is wrong.
ODT also presents emotional healing as a slow and steady process not a one-time realization or event. And not totally dependent on romance. Both Minoru and Yutaka experience on-going support from the Ueda’s and people at their workplaces in addition to each other. Falling in love didn’t make all their individual issues go away and it didn’t erase the complexity of growing closer.
Instead intimacy is displayed as multifaceted, necessary for healing, but not limited to romance. Which makes the romance that much better! Because a large part of Yutaka and Minoru’s love for each other is centered on wanting the other person to experience the most happiness they possibly can. So they give and give because watching each other heal brings them the most joy.
Observing this joy grow in them and around them convinces you that their romance is worthwhile and their love is true because it is based on something solid. Their love has already been demonstrated before it was spoken so you trust it and you want them to trust it too.
I translated a short interview with Inukai Atsuhiro and Iijima Hiroki about Bokura no shokutaku/Our dining table. Original is in the source with pictures. Please don't repost to Tiktok or Twitter without credit.
Inukai Atsuhiro and Iijima Hiroki are the stars of the drama Bokura no shokutaku/Our dining table that starts airing on April 6. Adapted from Mita Ori’s comic of the same title, this heartfelt drama depicts people bonding through food. Salaryman Yutaka is estranged from his family and struggles to eat around others when one day in a park he meets Minoru and Tane, two brothers many years apart, and ends up teaching them how to make rice balls. As the trio start having meals together, Yutaka and Minoru begin to get closer.
What were your first impressions after getting cast?
Inukai: I read the comic first and found it a heartwarming story. The script then possessed that same quality which made me excited to start filming.
Iijima: I too read the comic and found it a heartwarming story about people connecting through food. I couldn’t wait to play Minoru.
How do you see your respective characters?
Iijima: Minoru looks like a troublemaker, but he’s really family-oriented, he cares about his family so much that he can’t put himself first. In my performance I felt the growth that Yutaka gradually ignites in him.
Inukai: Yutaka is also essentially a person who is too nice to others, neglecting himself. He has a lot of baggage which I thought should reflect in my performance.
What was the first thing you did you did to get into character?
Inukai: I cooked rice in a clay pot like Yutaka. The rice turned out well. I felt like I understood my character after experiencing how he eats every day.
Iijima: I made it a point to appear like I don’t know my way around the kitchen. In my private life I do cook. Not that I’m any good at it.
Do you have any specialties?
Iijima: Not really. Maybe fried rice. Yesterday I made stuffed bell peppers. They were good.
That’s so fancy. The show also comes with lots of delicious looking food.
Iijima: They’re all delicious for real.
What did you like the best?
Inukai: The hot pot with kimchi, tomato and cheese. It was so good I couldn’t stop eating it.
Iijima: It was amazing. It’s the hot pot you see in the opening credits.
Inukai: Tane-kun doesn’t tolerate spicy foods very well yet, but even he ate it with a good appetite, it was that good.
Tane’s innocence is so charming on screen. How was it like to work with Kuuga-kun?
Iijima: He was the epitome of Tane-kun. I thought it could be intimidating for him to be surrounded by so many adults at his age, but he’d really boost the mood on set. He treated us like his actual brothers, and I was also chatting with him to establish that brotherly vibe.
What did you talk about?
Iijima: What’s popular these days and so on. We’d mostly talk about anime since I also watch it. We’d talk about what merch I’d get him etc. He likes Pokemon.
Inukai: Tane-kun is so cute and energetic, he brings the natural energy he has off camera into his performance. He was friendly since the first day of filming, his presence really helped me do my job. Thanks to him there were no gloomy moments on set.
What was your impression of each other starring together?
Iijima: He was the same Inukai-san he’s always been. He marches to his own drum both at work and in private. He’s totally different from me, he’s just himself.
Inukai: Iijima-kun was cute and cool in his early 20s, but now he has that mature sex appeal to him.
Iijima: Thanks. I’m excited to get older and expand the range of my acting.
How was it to act with each other?
Inukai: The directors wanted performances that feel realistic instead of entertainment, so we were able to work organically. There were elements that wouldn’t have transpired otherwise.
Iijima: It was easy to work with Inukai-san. Neither of our characters is a macho, so we were able to bring warmth into our performances. I also enjoyed the relaxed atmosphere in Mima, Tokushima Prefecture where we were filming. Saw huge mantises and stuff, it was laid-back.
Inukai-san, you hail from Tokushima Prefecture.
Inukai: It’s where I spent my formative years. I felt right back at home, which made me able to be even more true to myself.
The drama also depicts a love story between your characters. What was your experience portraying it?
Inukai: Iijima-kun and I can understand each other even without words, so the experience was very comfortable.
Iijima: After reading the script I thought trying to intentionally set up a romantic mood would feel out of place here, so I went about it without overthinking it, digesting those romantic feelings that arose as the filming progressed.
Were there any scenes that you found particularly memorable?
Iijima: For me it’s one of the early scenes where I feed Yutaka the rice ball. It was one of the first scenes we filmed. It’s when Yutaka and Minoru begin to get closer, and I felt like were able to establish an emotional connection there so I feel sentimental about it.
Inukai: It has to be the scenes of us all eating together. We’d continue to eat even after the cameras stopped rolling, sometimes that’d be my lunch for that day. It was a happy time in my life.
Just hearing about it makes me hungry. Sounds like the show is going to be food porn.
Iijima: The vibe of the show may make you feel less guilty about eating.
Inukai: If it makes you happy, who cares.
Iijima: Most of the dishes are easy to make, so I’d like everyone to try them at home.
Inukai: I want to make rice balls as I watch the show.
Last but not least, please leave a message for the viewers.
Inukai: The story is sprinkled with small daily observations. Sometimes we forget to appreciate food, but this show will remind you how wonderful it is to share food with others. Whether you’re a fan of the manga or a new viewer, I hope you’ll enjoy the story.
Iijima: We have to eat to stay alive, but food also connects us to other people. What we offer may not be big, but I’d like everyone to enjoy these small moments of happiness.
Just a little something that I think has been lost in the Gaga translation because I saw people refer to the girl in episode 5 as Minoru's university friend or a girl with a crush on Minoru.
From the Japanese script it's pretty clear the girl is Minoru's ex-girlfriend and she initiated the breakup but the subs fail to fully convey that.
This is the Gaga translation: I shouldn't be the one to say it. But all this time, you've been important to me.
This is the original Japanese: 私が言うのもあれだけど、今でも穣は大切な人だから (Watashi ga iu no mo are dakedo, ima demo Minoru wa taisetsuna hito dakara)
My translation: This may sound weird coming from me, but you're still important to me.
It's also pretty evident Tane isn't familiar with the girl from the way Minoru refers to her as kono oneechan/this big sister instead of Nao-oneechan. Nao the ex-girlfriend is a visitor from a past where Minoru's life didn't yet revolve around taking care of Tane. She's without a doubt one of the people Minoru means in episode 2 when he says "I often have to cancel plans at the last minute. I know it's not my fault but most people aren't that understanding."
Minoru and Nao were ordinary students going out. Then Minoru's mom died, Minoru became Tane's guardian, and Nao withdrew herself while she still could. This has made Minoru wary and resigned to no one wanting him because Tane and him come as a package deal. It's like trying to date as a single mom except you're 23 and people your age don't yet have that maturity or responsibility.
It's no wonder then that Minoru looks at Yutaka with Tane like he's looking at a small miracle. To care about Tane is to care about Minoru. And to Yutaka, whether he realises it or not, to care about Tane is to heal himself, the small boy who didn't get the love he deserved.
Last week, both Minoru and Yutaka were feeling down. Minoru felt Yutaka pulling away after that horrible encounter with the brother, but didn't know what to do or say. Meanwhile, a former classmate with a crush on Minoru showed up to tell him to abandon Tane, and showed her true colors immediately when she got irritated with Tane. Thankfully, our two leads ran into each other at the grocery and Tane insisted they make magic: stir fried rice and ramen. Yutaka showed again his casual love and regard for Tane, causing Minoru to swoon again and place Yutaka in the most comfortable sweatshirt he could find. Everyone has finally cheered up a bit.
It's Christmas!
Of course Yutaka only remembers being neglected during the holidays. Why did they even adopt him?
I'm gonna need them to feed the poor dad in one of these episodes.
I love seeing both Yutaka and Minoru learn more food skills.
I just love how Minoru swoons every time Yutaka takes care of Tane.
Oh, Tane. Thank you for inviting Yutaka because your older brother was stumbling over himself. So important to me that Tane has picked up on how much Minoru likes Yutaka too.
One of my Christmas traditions is to host a watch party for Make The Yuletide Gay (2009).
I don't like the warning about overwork right before the Christmas party.
Tane is so adorable oh my goodness.
38.5 C is a pretty high fever. Now the Christmas plans are dashed. This is about to get sad!
Honestly, they are definitely dating at this point. Minoru ran all the way over to make sure that Yutaka was alive.
He made an udon dish his mom made when they were sick. I'm just gonna lay down and cry for a moment.
I think Yutaka asking for Minoru to stay might be the first time we've seen Yutaka ask them for something.
Oh no we got an age-appropriate actor to represent toddler!Tane in the funeral flashback.
Gosh that was so gentle. Minoru opened up about how hard his mom's passing was, shared that spending Christmas with Yutaka was important to him, and the way he stressed that he would listen well to Yutaka's story melted something in me. That was so tender.
Oh, Ueda Dad, you are so good. Tane worrying that Yutaka might die is so sad, but a strong sign of how important Yutaka has become in their lives. The dad knows what is growing between Yutaka and Minoru, so he knew they needed time alone.
Oh my God they got the same scarf for each other. I'm going to cry again.
Yutaka is going to tell his story next week!
Honestly, how do I pretend to be a normal person after that episode? I've known how good Inukai is from the previous roles we've had in BL, but I was not prepared for how good Iijima is, too. Theirs is quickly becoming one of my favorite dynamics of all time.
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