To those of you out there who are suffering with a broken heart.
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Youâre going to have to accept that for a while, youâre going to be hurting. No matter what all the typical break-up posts say about looking your best and going to parties with friends, working out or getting into hobbies; they all come after this initial phase of missing and crying.
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Itâs okay to reminisce and retract all the good times. Itâs perfectly okay to go over photos and messages. Donât delete them in a angry rush because thatâs what everyone tells you to do, since itâll make you miss him more. You will definitely regret deleting them sooner or later; you will regret not having things to go back to whenever missing him gets too much for you at night. Youâre not being clingy nor weak; youâre just gradually beginning the process of losing the one you loved and getting over him.
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You will want to stay in bed, be by yourself. Donât force yourself to go to parties you couldnât care less about, because all it does at the end of the day is tire you. You probably wonât even enjoy it. You might not want to meet up with friends and talk to them about him. Them telling you that âyou deserve betterâ or âyouâll find someone betterâ isnât what you want to hear right now. So just have some time to yourself - if it means listening to sad music, do it. If itâs just curling up in bed and crying, go ahead.
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Then you will gradually begin to get better. Right now, you might think that you will never get over him and meet someone that you love as much as him, but trust me; it happens. It took me a while, but eventually it did.
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'Getting over himâ starts as small things that you might not even notice. One day youâll wake up and he wonât be the first thing on your mind. One day youâll wake up without tear streaks down your face from the night before. The first thing you do wonât be to check your phone to see if he had messaged you. The sunlight streaming through your window might make you really happy for some reason, and you might even go downstairs in time for breakfast. Your mom might smile at you knowingly, and make you strawberry milkshakes since theyâre your favorite.
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And this is when you begin recovering. You might now be ready to get rid of some of those old photos and messages, or his t-shirt that you slept clutching to your chest every night because it smelled like him. Do it, but only when your heart is ready for it. Throw in some bath bombs, and take a long bath. It really does help. Or you could finally get to working for that body youâve always wanted. Sweat and pain will feel really good after everything. Give yourself some treats as a reward after hurting for so long. Try something new, like that dress youâve always wanted to buy but was too scared to try, or trying a veggie shake. Start working on improving yourself, on a better version of yourself. The satisfaction that comes from it is immense, and really helps you forget and move on.
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At this stage you might think that youâre completely over him and ready to start a new relationship, but remember never to rush it. Most of the time you will probably have rebounded without knowing it. It will hurt you, but more to the point, itâll hurt that guy that might have really liked you.
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And when youâre finally ready and refreshed - and your heart has healed from everything - the right guy will come find you. Itâs almost like magic; the timing, the coincidence. But he will come and make you believe in love that you never thought was possible after your last one. He will make you so happy that you start believing in love again.
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Trust me, it will really happen.