Fagzilla, the Homosexual Kaiju

Massive nerd, aspiring writer, goated with the swag.

[wheelersdork]

i love them so much these are literally my children what the hell

[sunchildsatoru]

it was a seven, it got me. brat mike wheeler and brat tamer will byers (ft. madwise/madwheeler always at the byler crime scene)

byler where jane points out ever since will started dating mike, he started swearing more. max jokingly suggesting she should get will a swear jar. a night into her crafting corner later, she actually does.

will is embarrassed and annoyed. mike is having the time of his life. he should feel kind of insulted that he’s seen as a bad influence, but teasing will was funnier. way funnier. always.

‘nah ah. i’m not kissing that potty mouth, byers.’

‘careful, soon you'll need two jobs to keep up with that language.’

‘dinner’s on me, since— you know, you’re busy paying for other more important stuff.’

it’s saturday morning and max and jane are waiting for the boys in their living room to go to the lake. mike walks out of their room and into the kitchen, passes right besides the jar and stops. will’s shirt low on his collarbones, showing off the still fresh marks on his neck.

he bends— with slight difficulty, to pick up his bag from behind the couch and flips it upside down on top of the jar. all his loose change now trapped inside the glass.

last night was sure worth every fucking penny.

[f4gz1lla]

Byler is a perfect ship because Mike has big hands small waist and Will has small hands big waist.

They’re perfectly compatible.

[sootstar22]

someone probably did this before but whatever

(suicide joke warning)

[f4gz1lla]

My favorite Byler interaction in a fic goes like this:

Mike: If men could get pregnant, I’d definitely have your baby.

Will *internally*: I wish Mike would say those things for real, but alas, he’s heterosexual and will never want me.

Mike: I’m being 100% serious I want you carnally.

Will *internally*: Heterosexual.

[gaysforbyler]

Just so you know, over half the time I fucking hate writing. I despise it and I never want to do it again

[f4gz1lla]

Real writers understand that writing is awful, but the only thing worse is not writing.

[california-sweetiepie]

btw all surfsahoy is legally obligated to put will in tiny ass shorts

[f4gz1lla]

Fuck it! Put ‘em both in short shorts!

[california-sweetiepie]

i like how you think tumblr user f4gz1lla 🙂‍↕️

[california-sweetiepie]

btw all surfsahoy is legally obligated to put will in tiny ass shorts

[f4gz1lla]

Fuck it! Put ‘em both in short shorts!

[miwiheroes]

he's always been the gay bitch screaming loud as hell meme

[f4gz1lla]

The problem with going to Finn Wolfhard concert is that now I am not at Finn Wolfhard concert but I know how it feels to be at Finn Wolfhard concert and I have no way to easily obtain that feeling for the foreseeable future

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

the concept of little five year old mike wheeler both unknowingly and intentionally encouraging will to draw more, making him so happy that he can't help but smile and giggle more, being so quick to hug will whenever he's crying that will slowly starts to expect more from his father whenever he scrapes his knee and is close to tears, curling up so closely next to him during sleepovers or when they're watching a movie that will quickly develops a habit of doing the same, being so gentle and soft-spoken with will that will stops feeling so ashamed about his own tendency to speak in such a manner, and being so eager to dress up with will that will starts to do it more often, even when he's not hanging out with mike. and in the end, all this is what marks the beginning of the rumours that the wheeler boy has corrupted lonnie byers's youngest son. that mike wheeler, the boy who's showed up at school with sparkly eyelids and even smudged lip gloss more than once after a night spent playing dress up with his older sister and not washing his makeup off properly after the game is over, has a disease and that it is contagious.

[sootstar22]

got a little too excited over autistic Mike wheeler fics and almost threw up

[zacharyblank]

Don't you just love it when top/bottom discourse comes up on Twitter, and you get reminded that women can be just as homophobic as men?

[ssentinl]

[7567s]

A flock of birds enters the room. What do you do?

[annes-andromeda]

Something ironic (and kinda sad) i find about the most toxic tenants of this fandom is that they have a tendency to treat Mike and Will in a way they both canonically despise

Like…they make Will out to be this perfect angel who can do no wrong, is this uwu wilting bunny flower who’s constantly babied, cries at the smallest of things, is always Mike’s victim, everyone worships the ground he walks on, he has an ultra harem of boys, everything is about him, he’s the main character, and no one else matters. Basically, a Mary Sue lol. Meanwhile, Will canonically hated being coddled, hates being seen as fragile, has hurt Mike (despite the narrative never addressing it, which i hate) and has the capacity to be an asshole, can defend himself just fine, and doesn’t want to be seen as different for this sexuality. He lowkey just wants to be an average joe who’s one of the guys.

And then with Mike, it is so much worse. Toxic fans see Mike as this bitchless loser who can’t pull, is always in the wrong, is the devil incarnate, can’t do anything right, no one loves him, he ends up alone, is ugly, and is treated as useless outside of his two most popular ships. His only purpose to these dumbasses is to kiss, support, and fuck Will. Not like Mike didn’t have an entire fucking speech about how he hates being the love interest waiting in the wings while the superhero does all the cool stuff. Not like he canonically has self-esteem issues and was bullied for being unconventionally attractive (doesn’t make him ugly btw, he’s also canonically cute). Not like he showed signs of mental health issues even before the whole Upside Down shit happened. Not like the Party and the other characters don’t love and respect the shit out of him.

Don’t even get me started on the whole spicy byler shit where they’re made out to be the most basic yaoi couple out there (particularly on Twitter). Will always is the shrinking violet hyperfemme sub bottom, while Mike is always the ultra daddy dom hypermasc top.

God forbid you insinuate that Will could be a top and Mike could be a bottom. God forbid you think they switch. God forbid you don’t see Will as femme and see Mike as femme or androgynous or have him explore his identity in any way.

Cause haven’t you heard? Only one of them can do that. Only Will can have depression, have powers and a supernatural connection, be loved by everyone, have internalized homophobia, explore his sexuality and gender, etc. All of that belongs to Will, cause apparently multiple characters can’t go through the same thing. And if you apply any of this stuff to Mike and want to analyze him outside of being a love interest, then you’re just stealing from Will.

Apparently the worst thing you can do in this fandom is go against the popular headcanons. Cause god forbid we have our own opinions and views on certain characters and ships

Fuck me🫩🚬

[wheelersbaby]

writers block blah blah blah i don't remember the number