I dont intend this question in a rude way, I am just reading that in the DSM V diagnostic criteria, āexploitative of othersā/āinterpersonally exploitativeā is one of the diagnostic criteria. But I did note its in a list of they must have five or more of the following so I assume that means you could not do that one and still have NPD. Is this accurate?
Yes. You need five or more symptoms, and it doesnāt really matter which ones you have to have NPD (thereās 9 listed). Interpersonally exploitative would be criterion 6, and when getting into more detail, it states this:
This sense of entitlement, combined with a lack of sensitivity to the
wants and needs of others, may result in the conscious or unwitting exploitation of others. They expect to be given whatever they want or feel they need, no matter what it might mean to others. For example, these individuals may expect great dedication from others and may overwork them without regard for the impact on their lives. They tend to form friendships or romantic relationships only if the other person seems likely to advance their purposes or otherwise enhance their self-esteem. They often usurp special privileges and extra resources that they believe they deserve because they are so special.
I always did find that addition to the DSM-5 weird; I canāt really say if thatās because of stigma, or if itās just something that happens a lot in NPD- it could just be that I donāt understand because I donāt experience it. While the DSM-5 updates and sometimes removes things (and, considering the stigma of NPD, i wouldnāt be surprised if this werenāt entirely accurate, really), itās also true that not all symptoms of disorders are pretty, nor are they good for the person with it, and sometimes the people around them, if the person with it is unaware and/or isnāt checking themselves.
I donāt want to sugarcoat when discussing NPD, and yes, this is in the DSM 5, so it is absolutely something that people with it should be careful about. Since narcissists are, well, narcissists, sometimes we may forget the needs of others because weāre very focused on our own; having NPD does not make this something you should never work on improving, and we do need to be mindful that what we say and what we do isnāt hurting people (though, to be clear, all people should make sure of this).
That being said, criterion 6 isnāt inherent by any means. In situations like these, the absolute biggest piece of advice I can give is this: Communicate. Seriously. Talk to your friends and partners and make sure youāre on the same foot. Make sure neither of you are accidentally doing something thatās hurting the other. Having mental illness can be rough, and can cause complications in relationships. The best remedy for this is to properly talk about it with each other so you can understand each othersā wants and needs.
In my personal experiences, since we thrive off of validation and praise that I need to not be depressed, if I donāt have relationships, I might be constantly unhappy and hate myself. However, I also genuinely love and enjoy being around my friends and seeing them succeed- I would never exploit them for my own needs, because I care about them and I donāt want them to get hurt, by me or anyone else. I try to openly communicate with anyone I let in, and I am very anxious and worried about how I act, so I sometimes apologize a lot or get really nervous or shy when I think āoh no, I did something wrongā, even in cases where I didnāt do anything.
Since I have low empathy, and the exploitative part is listed in criterion six, I try to be extra mindful and communicate more than I may do if I didnāt have NPD, because while I have NPD, and thatās not my fault, it wouldnāt be an excuse if I were exploiting people, plus I just... obviously donāt want to do that to other people.
If any followers have something to add, comment or send an ask! This isnāt something I know a ton about, so Iām curious. :)
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