I would like to start this by saying that I am sorry. I am sorry for my words in the past that have hurt others.
I will not be naming any names for the sake of privacy, and so that these people can hopefully have some peace. I do not want anyone to be hurt.
In mid-January of 2023, in the now closed Patreon Server for YKMET, A person posted a black and white doodle of a character. I was not looking closely and referred to what I saw in part the drawing as a “blob monster”. I was corrected, told that it was a drawing of the person's natural hair texture from behind. I did not read the tone of the conversation correctly, and thought everything was taken in stride as a mistake that could be joked about.
The next day, the same person who posted the drawing was talking about Marten, a character from a Webcomic called Facility. This character is known for having black shadow-like hallucinations.
I made a joke, stating that Marten may mistake the person's hair for one of his hallucinations.
Immediately the person asked me to stop. I deleted the comment. I then instantly DM’d them an apology.
My apology was not a good one. I apologized for “being cringe on main”. My words made it clear that I did not understand how hurtful and racially charged my comment was. No more words were exchanged between me and the person afterwards. I knew I had hurt them, and told myself I would watch what I said from here on out, but failed to say this to the person I’d hurt or to anyone else.
It was only when it was brought back up a year later, in January 2024, did I realize just how hurtful my words must have been. I realized the horribly racist connotations of what I said.
I made another apology, this one public, but failed to say what I did. I can’t hide what I did. To censor myself and hide what I did is the same thing as acting as though it never happened.
But it did.
What I said about this person’s hair was unacceptable and racist. It came from a place of ignorance.
There were also statements about me making offensive remarks on Jamaican culture or making fun of someone for being Jamaican.
I do need to state that I do not remember anything about my remarks on Jamaican culture.
What I remember when it came to topics of Jamaica was talking about Jamaican food and how I wanted to try some, as I had never had it before.
However, I can understand that I could just be forgetting what I said that was hurtful and bigoted because it did not affect me. So I apologize again, and I will continue to educate myself on other cultures, and learn to think before I speak, and when I do speak, ask questions and not just make statements.
I do not want to remain an ignorant person. I want to learn. I want to grow. And most of all, I want to show that I am sorry for what I said.
If the person I hurt happens to read this, I am sorry. I regret what I said. If I could take back the hurt I caused you, I would.
I won’t ask for your forgiveness.
All I hope for you is that you are surrounded by people who treat you with more kindness, understanding and respect than I did.
Again, I am sorry. I cannot excuse my words. I can only apologize for them, and learn from my mistakes so that I can be a better friend in the future.
I can accept this apology because really I just want this to be over and for so many strangers to stop saying such nasty things about me.
I understand how this probably doesnt seem like a big deal *to you* but i am a real person with real feelings and i dint appreciate being made fun of, especially when it comes to something as sensitive as my natural hair that I happen to put a great deal of care and pride into. The art mentioned was not black and white and featured me and my afro from behind as i spoke to Lawrence. I expressed displeasure at being called a blob monster and you and several others disregarded my feelings in real time to validate eachother on what you 2 thought was a monster even after i explained it being my hair. I backed out of the conversation, embarrassed and angry, and immediately went to another server to complain to friends who privately comforted me and validated my feelings of distress.
Literally *AS* im venting to friends, the "joke" about Marten hallucinating my hair came up and i finally asked for it to stop and immediately blocked everyone involved, including Melon after receiving the explanation offered. I was so upset. I felt like I'd given the benefit of the doubt and already explained so why was i *still* being made fun of? Especially b3cause the convo had shifted to me thirsting over Marten. This wasnt even counting the Jamaican stuff and i was just fed up and blocked everyone without another word. Thank you for apologizing and taking the time to do so in a sincere way that gives me the idea you'll be more careful about how you talk about peoples appearance and cultures.
I dont think you deserved all of this just because someone else couldn't manage a bit of accountability. Gato was able to admit that I was wronged, you were able to admit that I was wronged, now I just hope others are able to see this for what I said it was from the beginning and we can just move on :(
Punk is whatever the state fucking hates so I'm sorry to announce to the functionally conservative but contemporary punk isn't leather jackets and punk rock from the 2000s, it's hyperfemininity, it's transsexualism, it's kinky leather harnesses, it's polyamory, it's Black female rappers, it's reading books from the library, it's pirating media, it's sharing your Netflix and Prime and Spotify passwords, it's patching up your thrifted clothes with cute embroidery until they're in tatters, it's "borrowing" groceries from corporations that make up inflation that doesn't exist, it's supporting small weird freaky artists on Etsy instead of buying the newest Official™️ boring low effort promotional image enamel pins, it's drawing and writing the raunchiest most disgusting and freaky porn you could possibly fathom, it's showing off your tits or top surgery scars in public, it's cis women packing and cis men tucking, it's dykefags and fagdykes and boylesbians and girlgays, it's paying for OnlyFans of trans people fisting themselves, it's making up new genders and sexualities and romantic orientations and editing whole new flags for them, it's refusing to label yourself for the gratification of a government that wants to know under what misspelled drafty legislation they should legally kill you
Punk is being/supporting whatever the state currently fucking despises and wants to burn off the face of the earth, not whatever you think is Punk Aesthetic. If you wanna be punk just to look like you were born in the 80s instead of actually BEING PUNK by supporting the degenerates and the freaks and the sex workers and the BIPOC and the transsexuals and the faggots and the dykes, burn your fucking $800 corp bought leather jacket because you're not Hobie Brown you're just a fucking poser.
Punk is fighting the system beside the ones the system is fighting against, Punk isn't a Pinterest moodboard.
people who can't pass credit checks still need housing. people who don't have credit at all still need housing. people who can't pass criminal background checks still need housing. people who have been evicted before still need housing. people with past unpaid rent still need housing. people who can't take out loans still need housing. people who can't pay off their mountains of debt still need housing. people who don't or can't work still deserve housing. housing is not an "investment". housing is not the act of "borrowing" property from someone else.
housing is necessary for human survival, no matter how poor, disabled, addicted, insane, or bad with money someone is. every single person on this planet requires housing. everyone. money does not belong in the affairs of housing. housing does not wait for money to come. housing is a human right, that EVERY human deserves, regardless of how much money they make, if any.
theartofmadeline
