[fagsaint]

>:) 2014ish vs 2021

[autoneurotic]

aug 2013//aug 2015

[fagsaint]

2021!!!!!

[fagsaint]

YEAAAH! three weeks into my new dose, 4 months on T altogether

[fagsaint]

we got to talking in group last night about finding it hard to shake other’s perceptions of you, or the need to Prove you’re Like Everyone Else so you go hyper feminine or masculine and will it to feel right. i had never thought i was hyper femme or anything but going back through pics of me from like, 2010-2014 i tried so haaard to be A Girl, like push up bras and body con dresses makeup stuff like that and it always kinda felt like i was playing dress up but i never focused on the thought/feeling hard enough to figure out why i felt that way, or just assumed it was self esteem related. even when i was realizing i was trans i tried to then lean into, not hyper masculinity, but idk, more masculine than i want(ed) to be and THAT didn’t feel right. this year with starting T has really soothed so much of that for me, and also not really caring how i dress now (see also: i wear the same pants boots and rotation of cropped shirts every day). anyway tl;dr trans support group is based and this is the first time i’ve ever surrounded myself with trans people and Talked About It All. it’s nice.

[fagsaint]

ugh so i didn’t have like the best diet and i don’t exercise as much as i should, though i DO do it! and i believe T can also mess w your cholesterol but i just did a lipid panel and every cholesterol they check for is high ): not drastically! most of them are like, 209 bring it down to under 200, 156, bring it’s down to 150, 131 bring it down to 100. i’m Ageing….this year is showing it! silver hairs, gotta watch my diet, i take six pills a day lmfao

[fagsaint]

i just had my three month check in and im gonna double my T dose to 40mg a day!! let’s see what THAT does

[autoneurotic]

great news!!

EDIT: since this seems to have made its way into TERF/transphobic circles let me emphatically state: NO art i make will ever be for y’all to consume. i am proud to be trans and made this simple—albeit silly—collage in the hopes of spreading love to other trans people. if you’re gender critical/a radfem/TERF/transphobe

fuck off

[hellomelancholic]

“why don’t you wish you had been born cis lol” well first of all being trans has shaped my lived experience and if I was cis I would be a fundamentally different person and even for all my flaws and failings I am myself and I would not trade that for anything. Second of all being trans makes me exponentially sexier then i could ever be if I was cis.

[fagsaint]

ik i made this blog to talk about/record transitioning it just feels so weird to talk ab my body like this haha. n e way, im now 2 months on about 20mg of gel T every day and i havent noticed tooo awful much. my skin looks and feels a little, idk, rougher? im somehow already getting hairier, my hips n chest seem a bit smaller (unfortunately it’s rendered my chest almost…deflated looking), and i feel like i can hit a lower range in singing and speaking if i try for it and my voice, imo, sounds less soft and a little more husky. stay tuned

[autoneurotic]

holy shit i look like. like a guy. i look just like Some Dude.

[chained2012]

in tears rn

[genderoutlaws]

Vintage pinback buttons originally available for order in the zine Gendertrash From Hell | 1990s

[fagsaint]

approaching 2 months >:) i was never particularly soft in the face to start with but i feel like my cheekbones and jaw (somehow!) got sharper/more defined. while it’s not dark, also, i’m starting to get more body hair too! lil happy trail, the pale hair across my stomach and arms looks a little thicker

[unknought]

reminder that if you’re questioning your gender, “what do I want?” and “what will make me happy?” tend to be much more useful questions than “what am I, really?”

[fagsaint]

How Microdosing Testosterone Changed My Life - VICE

idk how to make links look sleek on mobile but a lot of anxieties and sentiments I felt are echoed and addressed here and it’s so refreshing to find resources specifically for being nonbinary and transitioning!

[savethelifeofmychild]

he’s not just some guy he’s bisexual

[fagsaint]

what’s UP, since i have a T start date (holy shit) here are my last pre-T selfies. let’s get this gender kings!

(i think this blog will be a bit like a diary. if i’m confident enough i will make videos so i can track my voice changes too!)