☩ ･ﾟ° ✧ || NO LONGER HUMAN.

indie Dazai Osamu from Bungou Stray Dogs. HEAVILY HEADCANON BASED. Written by Blue. Please read rules before interacting. Tracking #failedeath var sc_project=11685774; var sc_invisible=1; var sc_security="9d9932ed";

[failedeath-blog]

Small life update

Ok so. Here’s what happened when I completely dropped off the map last year.

It’s a long story, but in short...

I had exams in uni, then I broke my arm and got a cast, then the cast was off but the arm was still Not okay so I had to start attending physical therapy ALL WHILE STILL WORKING A FULL TIME JOB ON A GRAVEYARD SHIFT. Then I got a boif and then we broke up and then I got depression FDFUDSG so I didn’t have the time or energy to be online BUT THEN I QUIT MY JOB AND NOW I’M FREE!!!! AND I HAVE TIME !!!!! I HOPE Y’ALL MISSED ME

[failedeath-blog]

BITCH GUESS WHO’S BACK

ITS ME BITCH !!!!!!!

[failedeath-blog]

cosmicstardreamer:

“You’re such a nerd.”

But her smile and the way she sneaks yet another kiss proves her adoration for him. He really was adorable, caring for her as much as he did and being as sweet as he was. It was a side of him not many people got to see, and she was more than thankful that she not only got to see it, but that he was like that for her and only her. Neff wonders, really, just how long has she been in love with him? How long has it been since she lost her previous love and found her heart had been protected and cared for by him? Ah, it didn’t really matter, did it? 

“You’re always welcome to spend the night with me if you feel lonely~ I won’t mind…..however anyone else that has ears might.”

“But we’ll worry about that after food, yeah?”

“But I’m your nerd~” 

He says this with a sly grin, one that was typical of him, but he really meant it.  They hadn’t always been this close, no. Things were very different between them some years back. But he’s happy with the way things are now, he’s happy with her, and he’s not lying when he says he’s hers, even if he says it as a joke.

“They should get earphones.” He laughs, knowing very well that wouldn’t solve anything. “It’s not really my fault they don’t look out for themselves, is it? I’d love to spend the night with you~”

[hopewell-siblings]

Starter for @failedeath with Eiddwen  As a foreigner in a new country, the pickings for a well paying job, especially one that could deal with his sister being around him or his wardrobe, were pretty slim. So when this place called the ADA offered him a position as a desk worker, he all but jumped on it. It was better than working at the bar for late nights. “Bye Eiri, have fun at school!” He waved his sister off as she exited the office, leaving him to do his morning paperwork. After all, as soon as someone appeared at work, his paperwork would surely end up on his desk within the hour.

[failedeath-blog]

Dazai entered the room just as Eiri left, and stared for a moment before walking to the desk. The resemblance between the two made it evident that they were related, but he didn’t see Eiri as often as he did Eiddwen, since he worked in the office.

Finally, he dropped the documents on the table. “Was that your sister?” Of course she was, he knew this already. “You guys really look alike.” 

[failedeath-blog]

PSA

This blog will be on hiatus until May 25th, since I have to work hard on my finals. I’ll miss you all in the meanwhile but I’ll be looking forwards getting back here n.n

[solemn---vows]

“Yeah? And I ‘might’ become the crown prince of France. I don’t see why you’d really bother. I mean, you lost all of my comrades so I doubt you’re dying anytime soon, whether you’d like to or not.” 

“Lighten up, Dazai. It was a joke, flirting with someone who fired a gun at you is suicidal, which actually fits you… Anyways are you going to let me leave, or am I dying?

[failedeath-blog]

“I doubt you’d be here if there was any chance of you becoming the prince of France. But anyways, no. You’re not dying. Not by my hands at least.”

He sighed, getting his hands off the other man’s collar and taking a step back. “You may go if you wish. I’d prefer if you stayed so we could talk though, but you’ve made it clear you have no intention of talking with me.”

[failedeath-blog]

cosmicstardreamer:

She snorts at how over dramatic he is, finding it rather charming in this moment. The mushy atmosphere must be getting to her head. Or her heart. Or maybe she always thought it was rather cute and didn’t want to admit it. Regardless, she does a half smile when he kisses her head again, humming softly as he sweet talks her.

“Well then lover everything should be fine.” Neff pokes his nose before taking his hands in her own. “So what do you want to do now that I’m off the job. You were so worried about me while I was gone so I figure I should at least make it up to you. How about it? We could go back to my room, or we can go eat, ooorrr we can have a sleepover at your place.” 

“I…..kinda miss living with you. For a guy in love with me you were pretty quick to kick me out.” Of course she was teasing, however. Their reason for parting was valid and understandable. Neff had more security at the agency’s housing. He just wanted her to be safe.

“We can go it, I’m starving. After that we can most definitely chill at your place or mine.” He smiles at her, even more at his nose being poked. Small acts of affection like this sure knew how to draw a smile on his face. Needless to say, his heart had never been as content as it was whenever he got to share little moments with his now girlfriend.

“I miss living with you too, dear. But you know my intention was never to ‘kick you out’. I just would hate myself if something were to happen to you because of me... But no need to think about that now. Hopefully it won’t be long until we can move together again, far away from this place and harm’s way.”

[solemn---vows]

“Well no, that’s not strictly true. If I tell you, I still die, I’m between a rock and a hard place here.” He leaned against the brick wall of the alley and sighed,”And if you want to get literal, I’m talking currently? So it is it better for me yet?”

He met Dazai’s eyes trying to hold back his growing laughter. “I understand that I’m attractive, but before you make this much eye contact you’re supposed to take a guy to dinner.”

[failedeath-blog]

“I already said I’m not planning to kill you. And in exchange for your word... I might help you stay safe, so whoever sent you won’t kill you either.”

He wasn’t exactly the leader of the agency, but he was sure they’d be willing to take someone in if it helps saving a life. The rest of his commentary makes Dazai groan, annoyance evident in his expression. “I’m not flirting with you, whoever you are. Just tell me what I want to know.”

[failedeath-blog]

corruptiio:

   “You’re the worst.” His dismissive insult doesn’t answer Dazai’s question

     either, but the way he turns his head away is a clear indicator of what the

     Executive is thinking. Dazai is always messing with him, so Chuuya can’t say

     he’s surprised by this behavior.

   “Hah! And I was born a saint,” Chuuya barks, jerking his head back at him

     with a look of disbelief and mild irritation. “If you can be out before I leave for

     work, and I’m sure you’re familiar with the time I leave, I’d appreciate it. I

     don’t need anyone coming around and seeing you here.”

“I may be, but you love me anyways~ Doesn’t that make you even worse? Or at least your taste in men...” That’s half true, half teasing. Dazai has no doubt of Chuuya’s feelings for him, and while he’s grateful for them, he’s never understood it. He wouldn’t feel as strongly for someone like himself if he was someone else. And Chuuya had more than a few reasons to hate him... Yet here they were. Still behaving like an average couple whenever they had the chance.

“Alright, I’ll wake up earlier then.” He was about to ask if Chuuya was embarrassed that someone might find out about them, but then he remembered, embarrassment isn’t the issue here. Being still an executive in the Port Mafia, the ginger man would surely get in trouble if anyone were to find out about his relationship with the former member, now considered a traitor. “Should I make breakfast for you before I go? As a thank you, for getting up and making me dinner tonight.”

[solemn---vows]

Itsuki looked away but his smirk didn’t fade, after all that was all he had control of in this situation. He was a decent shot, but of course he misses when there’s no escape, just his luck. The lone solace was that his heartbeat was no longer echoing in his ears.

“Let me ask you a question, because I have no intention of answering yours. If you’re asking who sent me that implies you have numerous enemies. So does ‘who’ really matter? Shouldn’t it be ‘How badly do they want me dead’, because I can answer that one.”

[failedeath-blog]

“I may have a lot of enemies, but only a few are shameless enough to go as far as sending someone that has nothing to do with it to do the dirty work for them.” His gaze never leaves the other’s eyes. 

“I don’t care how badly they want me dead. That’s irrelevant, too many people want me dead, myself included. But what you’re not realizing is that this situation is a greater danger for you than it is for me. Talk. It’s better for you.”

[failedeath-blog]

cosmicstardreamer:

“Mmm….then your mistress is pleased for now. Keep that up all day and I might even give you a reward.” As usual with their relationship, her teasing smile is accompanied with a cute nose boop. “What

 would that reward be? Well….It’s. A. Se-cret~ Though I’m sure you’re well aware of what I can offer to you.”

Neff winks knowingly at him. barely planting a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll just have to make sure it’s especially exciting for you. I have to think of all the different ways that I can entice you….hmmmm…….I can think of a few that come to mind. I won’t tell though. It’ll be a surprise, just like me! You’ll never know what you’re gonna get.”

“And no, it’s not a crab farm before you ask, you nerd.”

He wasn’t expecting for it to be a crab farm. No, Neff had never been particularly enabling of his unusual love for crabs, so he knew better than to expect things like that from her. Regardless, he has to play along. That’s how their relationship works. They’re silly nerds that enjoy having fun with each other. They deserve it, after everything they’ve been through, together and not. 

“Aaawwwwww not a crab farm? Ouch.... How disappointing. And here I thought things were looking bright for me... Ah, I even got excited for a moment! Only for my heart to be shattered to ashes by the harsh truth... That my lover doesn’t share my love and adoration for such mystical beings!”

His gestures, expressions and voice tune are dramatic and exaggerated, as expected of him. Had he not been a former mafia executive and now a talented detective, he’d absolutely have succeeded in theater. With a long sigh, he drops the act and kisses her head again. 

“The mere thought of spending another night with you is already more than enticing and exciting. Don’t worry about anything else.”

[solemn---vows]

“I don’t see why I would have to tell you. Or why I would even consider it, of all the ways this could go they all end bad for me. So I’d rather not give it the possibility to get any worse. I’m sure it’s all the same to you.”

Itsuki’s smirk was plastered on just like always, it didn’t matter if he was terrified. Clearly the man in front of him wasn’t stoked about the failed assassination attempt. “So what do you want to do from here? You could kill me, or I could fire a second shot. How do you see this going?”

Keep reading

[failedeath-blog]

Dazai arched his eyebrows as he stared into the other man’s eyes. He could see the fear in them, he could notice that he was scared for his life, but Dazai had no intention to kill him. That was part of a life, he had left behind, after all. But of course it would make sense for it to be unknown to the other.

“ It doesn’t have to end back, you know. Maybe I’ll let you go after you tell me what I want to know. So I’ll ask again. Who sent you? ”

[failedeath-blog]

corruptiio:

   “You know exactly what I meant, Dazai,” Chuuya barks back, knowing for

     certain that Dazai was just messing with him. It wasn’t rare for him to do so,

     and while Chuuya should just accept it, he wasn’t going to let the brunet

     stomp all over him. Even still, Chuuya can’t ignore how he feels when Dazai

     calls him that even if he really wants to because of how embarrassing it is.

   Fingers resting on Dazai’s chest after they pull away, Chuuya recollects his

     thoughts to give his former partner a proper response. “Promise to be good

     for once. I’m sure I get up earlier than you do, so don’t worry about seeing

     me off. I don’t mind. Well, you don’t sleep much anyway, so maybe it won’t be

     an issue.”

❝ Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. That doesn’t answer my question. ❞ He giggles, and presses a kiss to the other man’s forehead. He’ll never get tired of messing with Chuuya. He’s cute when he’s angry, and his reactions are always entertaining. 

❝ What does being good mean in this case? I’ve never been bad in my whole life. ❞ They both know how much of a lie that is, but he’s just kidding.  ❝ If you need me to, I can be gone before you wake up. You’re right, I don’t seep that much anyway. ❞

[failedeath-blog]

cosmicstardreamer:

She can’t help but snort at his teasing, stepping just a bit closer and wrapping her arms around his waist, just under his coat. She close enough to him now that he’d be able to hear her even if she whispered.

“Is that so? An exception just for me, hm?” One of her hands traces a finger up his spine, a deceivingly sweet smile on her face. “Then I know exactly what order to give to you today.” And maybe he expected it, but maybe he didn’t, but she closes the gap and presses a soft kiss to his lips, lingering against him for just a moment before the sweetest whisper is murmured in his ear.

“No death, and no talking about death. Not today, at least. Today…I just want you to feel happy to be alive. Do you think that can be done for me?”

He wraps his arms around her neck when she wraps hers around his waist. There aren’t many good things in Dazai’s life, but the best out of the few is being able to be close to her like this.

He did expect her kiss. And as expected of him too, he kissed back tenderly. What he wasn’t expecting at all was the order she gave him. He thought it’d be something different. Something more... Daring, maybe? But he wasn’t disappointed at all. He found it cute how much she worried about his will to live.

“Ah, but Neff, I thought you knew this already.” He pushes some hair off from her face, and places a soft kiss on her forehead. “I’m more than happy to be alive. I’ve told you. A life next to you is one worth living. One I’m thankful I get to live.”

[makingamainblogbecausehh]

@failedeath

Itsuki hid behind the wall of the a nearby building, staring at Dazai. He had been sent to take him down. He’d accidentally lost his squadron but he wouldn’t give up. He lifted his gun and fired at him, however he missed the former-mafia member in front.

“Shit.”

[failedeath-blog]

Dazai knew someone had been following him. He’d noticed a couple blocks behind, when he thought he heard footsteps but they stopped two seconds after he did. His initial suspicion was that it was probably a mafia member... Someone sent by Mori to spy on him. But when he finally got to see his face after a failed actual murder attempt... It was a face he had never seen before.

“ Who are you and who sent you? ”

@embracingessence

[failedeath-blog]

corruptiio:

   “Oi, don’t push it,” Chuuya warns after Dazai says that, though Chuuya can

     sense Dazai’s joking tone and doesn’t feel genuinely frustrated with him. He

     would've hit him instead of leaning back into his chest if that were the case.

     “That’s not what I meant. Besides, I’d be your husband, not your damn wife

     you bandage bastard.”

   He may be genderfluid, but he stands on the masculine or mixed part of the

     spectrum. Sometimes he can take the feminine stance, but not enough to be

     Dazai’s wife. Leaning into Dazai until he’s finished, Chuuya spins around then

     and kisses him, recognizing the taste of sandwich on his lips. It may be

     sudden and odd, but he’s just… overcome. “I have to get up in a few hours…

     but let’s sleep together until then, alright?”

❝ Does that mean you’ll agree to marry me if I call you ‘husband’ instead of ‘wife’? You should have said it sooner~ ❞ He’s aware that’s not what he meant at all, but knowledge has never been enough to stop Dazai from being a pain in the ass. ❝ Then let me rephrase. Thanks for the sandwich, my lovely husband~ ❞

The kiss takes him by surprise. He certainly hadn’t been expecting it, but he doesn’t complain whatsoever. Instead, he smiles against the other man’s lips, and lingers for a bit longer than he probably should. ❝ Alright~ I’ll happily sleep with you. ❞

[failedeath-blog]

corruptiio:

   “Like I’d be dumb enough to make a bet with you. Do you really

     underestimate me that much?” Chuuya snaps, even though he means

     nothing by it. Marrying Dazai… if he was honest about this then maybe

     Chuuya would give him a proper answer. Dazai didn’t want to get married,

     much less to someone like him.

   “Bastard,” Chuuya responds in a teasing note, leaning into his side. Maybe

     he really did miss him… just a little. “Hurry up and eat that. You may not care

     about being late to work, but I do.”

❝ Ah, but I haven’t said you’re dumb! Though... I might have to agree that you’re not exactly the smartest. ❞ He is, of course, just kidding. His teasing smirk makes it clear, and so does the little giggle that follows his words. ❝ Is it really underestimating you to consider taking you as my wife? Oh my... What a shame. ❞

He sighs, and proceeds to finish his sandwich without further commentary until he’s done. ❝ Thanks for the sandwich Chuuya~ I’ll make myself a better one next time. Maybe. ❞