Food for thought: 🥭
The feeling or obsession of wanting to be unique. Have you ever felt so utterly inferior compared to your friends? Despite having so many qualities about you. You have so many talents or you're really great at the things you do. But when others do those specific things, you feel like it's being stolen from you.
It's not an inferiority complex, it can't be. So many times, you've been chosen to be the main artist in your group or the mathematician that competes for your school. Although you can't shake off the feeling that someone is always with you, worse they're in front of you. I'm happy for my friends, I am. They're so passionate about their talents. Think of this and you think of them. That friend you always go to because she draws so well or the friend you ask advice for because he's the smart one in the group. Where do you fall? Who would ask you for help, talk about your interests? When there's someone much better or more worth it.
You don't have something unique to you is all. You're one of the best options but just y'know one of em. It's funny how people can easily say there will always be someone better than you in this world. It's understandable, inevitable even. But can't I even feel unique to this one thing I'm good at? It's the feeling of praying for others downfall especially when it comes to those you're close to. It weighs heavy, it's guilt for even having such thoughts. Worse is you support them, help them, make them shine. You hate them but you can't even commit to it. You loathe others and at the same time you're angry at yourself for not doing anything to improve.
No, art wasn't specifically made for me. Dabbling in books and stories isn't out of this world. Yet I can't help but feel I'm being invaded.
"Jack of all trades but a master of none"
- but often better than a master of one
