```
I nearly jump out of my skin. Enté barks and jumps off the bed to the window and starts licking it. I see a shadow outside my window and roll my eyes. Once my heart falls out of my throat back into my chest, I walk to the window and unlatch it. “You son of a bitch! You scared me.”
Keaton climbs through the window and into my room, just like he’s done hundreds of times before. He’s wearing a white t-shirt he always sleeps in and flannel pajama bottoms that are green and blue. “Hey boy!” He greets Enté by rubbing both of his ears rapidly. You never would have guessed Enté was knocked out for a solid three hours just before this. “I can’t sleep.”
I lock the window again, not sure why I locked it in the first place. Keaton was always crawling through it at least three nights a week. We still acted like we were kids. “The idea of your sister getting married and flying off keeping you awake?”
Keaton shot me a look and sat on my bed with his back against the wall. Enté collapsed in his lap. “She’s not flying off, AJ. She’s going on a honeymoon, not running away. She still has a kid.”
I sat with my back against the headboard and pull the covers over my legs. I look at the other side of the room and see the outline of my desk and my computer in the shadows. The void was gone. I rubbed my face and groaned. “Fucking pills.”
Keaton kept scrubbing behind Enté’s ear, making his leg kick in the air. “I take it you can’t sleep, either?”
“When have you ever known me to get a solid night’s sleep?”
“There was that one time in junior year when you-”
“Fuck, Keaton.” I knew where he was going with that. I don’t need to recall the night I mixed a number of substances to dull whatever rioting teenage emotions I was experiencing. I couldn’t even if I had wanted too. But Keaton, for some reason, loves to bring it up. Probably because he was as sober as a priest the night. I can’t remember why I was the only one who wanted to get that fucked up. But that’s been my signature move. If I can have fun while forgetting every stupid thing I do or say while doing it, then why not?
“You must have slept for fourteen hours straight.” There it was, Keaton’s smile that I was thinking about just before that void showed up again. It pulled his whole face up and dimpled his cheeks. He was always outstandingly attractive, even by model standards. He looked like he was crafted with care and precision to be a Greek god. Lucy was the same, always out-of-this-world beautiful. Every time she saw me, her brows came together like two magnets and her pink pout turned into a frown. But she was still gorgeous.
I hummed and brushed Enté’s tail on my lap. “Where can I get Jäger and drugs at 4am?”
It was a joke, but Keaton shook his head with partial disappointment. He didn’t like that part of me. As if that were even possible. But if it were, he would like me less when I’m not sober. I don’t know if it was because he was so straight edge (he grew up with strict Christian parents, church every Sunday, bible study every Wednesday), or if it was because he genuinely didn’t like seeing how I can get. “You can’t show up to the wedding tomorrow hungover.”
“I can’t show up at all because I’ll be sleeping for fourteen hours.” Keaton punched my leg through the covers, and I snorted. It wasn’t abnormal for Keaton to be awake this late before a big event. He used to climb through my window every night before a test. The poor thing had crippling test anxiety and couldn’t do anything but study through the night. He always made perfect scores. Mom told me once if I put in half the effort, that could be me, too. No, thanks. I have enough anxiety already. Is what I told her. “How are you holding up?”
The smile on Keaton’s face had faded. It was still there, but in ghost form. He continued to pat Enté’s head, who had his mouth closed and was nodding off again. “It’s weird. I know she’s not going anywhere. But it’s still weird. Knowing that she’s committing herself to some guy for the rest of her life.”
“Some guy?”
Keaton shook his head. “I take that back. That’s not fair. Shino is a really good guy. He takes care of her, and he wants nothing for the best for her like I do. I just can’t help but feel like she won’t need me anymore because she’ll have him.”
I nodded and listened. It’s what I did best. If I opened my mouth, I would just end up saying stupid shit. This is how we do things. Keaton vents to me, I keep my mouth shut, and he talks out his problems on his own.
```
