ellievsbear
blake kathryn
$LAYYYTER
Origami Around
@theartofmadeline
untitled
★
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
One Nice Bug Per Day
Andulka
official daine visual archive
tannertan36
𓃗
Game of Thrones Daily
🪼
No title available
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
NASA
seen from Montenegro
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@fairykidlink
in case anyone here still follows me and has that thing happen that i get when i look at old online friends’ pages and get overwhelming waves of nostalgia. i’m still alive and i’m better mentally.
i do have DID. i am autistic. i got away from shitty abusive stuff (twice lol) and i finished my bachelor’s. i may not use tumblr anymore really but i’m still kickin. i hope all my friends i get nostalgic about are still kickin and are having fun lives.
<3
Please share, Help needed
Okay, I've been ebegging, but here we go again. My roomate and I are disabled, trans, and homeless. We were evicted and are staying in a hotel. I ran into some money (dm me for details ig) and we will be able to get into an apartment soon but we are waiting on some legal stuff.
For now I need to pay our storage bill again, because it is now 4 days been late (I caught us up on Christma). I also need to get groceries because the food bank didn't get us many things I'm not allergic to, meaning my roomate has food, but I do not. And another hotel bill is coming up on the 15th.
My friend @hostile-flower is doing tattoo art commissions for anyone who donates $50 or more, just contact one of us
Dm me for details or questions. Yes, I work and make money in other ways than this. It isn't enough.
$creepiecrippl
V3nm0: @tab-99
https://www.paypal.me/creepiecrpple
I have to pay the hotel bill again on the 15th. Today is Jan. 9. I have to order food today as well, so we'll will be back down to $0
Jan 14
Okay, sorry for the delay in updates on this, we have been switching rooms and thats a whole thing. I got an extension on this bill, but that will put us at needing $1,700 by Jan. 20 in 6 days. I had to order food and medications because my roomate and I both got a bad cold. This has put us back substantially.
We are having to leave the hotel. It is unsure when. We absolutely have to pay this bill still. We trying to figure out where to go after. This is now an emergency situation though, and we are going to have to go into the bill money to handle it. On top of this my roomatw is very sick.
This is very much an emergency, please share
Its nighttime on Jan 18 as I write this!!! About one day to go and we only have $129 rn!!
$129/$1700
$476/$1700
Please don't stop sharing!!! This is an emergency and we are making progress!!!
$526/$1700
$560/$1700
$751/$1700
$1,230/$1,900
I am stalling the hotel but we are on the streets tomorrow if I cant pay. Im adjusting the goal to include the extra day they'll charge, and money for meds and groceries bc we are literally starving and my roomate has pneumonia again.
stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn't know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn't know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day
Forms a closer psychic + spiritual bond with the car
EMERGENCY DONATIONS NEED
My roomate and I are getting evicted in 4 days. We have been deceived and coerced in an effort to have us leave this residence already, to the point that we were lied to about the lease end date, and not given access to copies of the lease papers. Now, after consulting legal assistance, we have the real lease end date. Despite the moratorium, we will be evicted on the 23rd of July.
We are disabled, trans, and living in a very dangerous place to be homeless and either. We have nowhere to go. We have not has gas or water utilities for a year, and we struggle to make enough money to get food. We have contacted every single aid organization we have access to, and have been denied help each time. We are desperate and we have to ask for help to survive. Anything helps at this point, $1 is enough to excite us, we have nothing right now.
Paypal: https://www.paypal.me/creepiecrpple
Venmo: @ tab-99
Cashapp: $creepiecrippl
We have had no donations in several days, and are homeless. Things are getting worse.
EMERGENCY DONATIONS NEED
My roomate and I are getting evicted in 4 days. We have been deceived and coerced in an effort to have us leave this residence already, to the point that we were lied to about the lease end date, and not given access to copies of the lease papers. Now, after consulting legal assistance, we have the real lease end date. Despite the moratorium, we will be evicted on the 23rd of July.
We are disabled, trans, and living in a very dangerous place to be homeless and either. We have nowhere to go. We have not has gas or water utilities for a year, and we struggle to make enough money to get food. We have contacted every single aid organization we have access to, and have been denied help each time. We are desperate and we have to ask for help to survive. Anything helps at this point, $1 is enough to excite us, we have nothing right now.
Paypal: https://www.paypal.me/creepiecrpple
Venmo: @ tab-99
Cashapp: $creepiecrippl
We have a hotel for tonight and a storage unit, but there was no uhauls available for a 100 mile radius and the storage unit is an hour away. There is a moving company we can hire but we are $300 short. We need this $300 by tomorrow morning at the latest. We will also need $300 for a various expenses such as food, transportation, decent masks, etc. If anyone has questions or wants proof you can dm me. I can't stress it enough, we will lose all of our possessions if we don't get this money to move.
$50/600
this is a really good friend of mine that really needs the help!! pls share and donate if you can!!!
i am going to say it
ena osdd
If Kirby inhales ENA
i literally had found out about them yesterday and theyve already became my comfort character
reading tails gets trolled is a trip
DID/OSDD Casually Explained: Masterpost
Here is a list of all my Casual Explanations about DID/OSDD. Please note that these are specific to the experiences of DID/OSDD and should not be attributed to anything else.
My casual explanations are a combination of academic research, personal experience, and community feedback. I am not a professional. I’m simply a person with dissociated parts, one of whom enjoys doing research. A lot.
If you would like to repost my work elsewhere, please include a link back to this post so others can see my sources!
DID/OSDD Casually Explained posts:
What Causes DID/OSDD?
How Alters/Parts are Experienced Internally
Parts In Control
Elaboration of Parts
What Is Integration?
Splits in Established Systems
Substitute Beliefs
Understanding Dissociated Parts (series):
Part 1: Belief and Appearance
Part 2: All About Introjects
Main Sources:
Books:
The Haunted Self: Structural Dissociation and the Treatment of Chronic Traumatization by Onno van der Hart
Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation by Suzette Boon, Kathy Steele, and Onno van der Hart
Treating Trauma-Related Dissociation by Suzette Boon, Kathy Steele, and Onno van der Hart
Treating Adult Survivors of Childhood Emotional Abuse and Neglect: Component-Based Psychotherapy by Hopper, Grossman, Spinazzola, and Zucker
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self-Alienation by Janina Fisher
Links:
The Treatment of Structural Dissociation in Chronically Traumatized Patients by Janina Fisher (pdf)
International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation (2011): Guidelines for Treating Dissociative Identity Disorder in Adults, Third Revision
Trauma-related Structural Dissociation of the Personality by Ellert Nijenhuis, Onno van der Hart, & Kathy Steele
PODS (Positive Outcomes for Dissociative Survivors)
the ride of lands
it never ends
Dissociated states in DID
DID’s a lot easier to explain in pictures, at least for me. See, when you first start learning, you think you’re dealing with something like this:
The inner circles are dissociative parts. Whoever’s holding the star is at the front, in the driver’s seat, running the show.
I like to think that the hosts job is a bit more like this: you’re holding the star, but you’re trying to keep communications open with everybody:
Thing is, it’s called a dissociative disorder for a reason. Being inside the circle represents being present. As a trauma survivor, your brain has learned to send parts outside the circle as a defense mechanism. Parts can be mentally stuck in the past, depersonalized, derealized, “triggered out”, etc, pushing their consciousness away from the present. That’s the world outside the circle.
Even if you feel stable and grounded, connecting to a part that overlaps with the circle can be weird. You can feel their dissociative symptoms but not necessarily understand where it’s coming from, or why.
If you’re still following along, let’s get real. The idea of such solid boundaries and fixed positions is unrealistic. It makes a good movie plot.
For me, daily life with DID is a lot more like this:
With a few elements I can’t draw:
From hour to hour (or even minute to minute) the star flows between parts. Those switches can be subtle or noticable, depending on the context.
Some parts feel like they’re way in the back watching, while others feel like they’re gone. In this scenario, I’m not able to access red’s memories or skills but I do know she exists.
Parts overlap. “Mixed” is the term my therapist uses.
The circles - all of them - are moving. They yo-yo in and out, or drift around. The overlaps shift too.
I didn’t draw it, but when Nick takes the wheel, his circle tends to squeeze us out by accident. (We’re working on it).
There’s also the case of unknown parts, chilling outside the circle completely:
This might happen to a part due to things like stress or exhaustion. The part still exists and it can be partially or completely unaware of what’s going on.
This represents a dissociative fugue:
A part outside the circle takes executive control, leaving the others with time loss and amnesia. The inner parts experience this as a complete or partial blackout.
Finally, this is my best guest at “Feeling Swirly”:
It happens in the mornings, under stress, when I’m high, and in therapy.
Anyway, that’s the model, and I find it pretty flexible. We use it when we’re reflecting on memories, thoughts, and emotions, trying to figure out wtf happened. There are ugly circles all over our journals, and it’s especially helpful in therapy.
How do you folks model your experience of dissociated states? Does this make any sense at all?
No art critiques please, I was aiming for clear rather than pretty ;)
A post about some information that I had put on twitter!
Since becoming more outspoken about my disorder on twitter I’ve had some interesting conversations with all kinds, and a LOT of systems coming to say they really appreciate the awareness for non-systems boosting this kind of talk accidentally.
This specific post was written with the aid of a mutual who owns a tulpamancer space who advocates for plurality being a set of beliefs and practices, as a way of separating the two spaces. We had some fun conversations while I was drawing this and they made some suggestions to improve it.
This is not a post about endos/plurality as a whole. This is a post about the community that goes by the name of pluralgang. Clown on my post and I will animorph into a feral boar.
Since these dumb little comics were so well received, I decided on making one more followup about internalized ableism inherent to certain groups and mindsets. As someone with a chronic illness, the last kind of mindset can be incredibly hurtful even in that unrelated regard.
Things that would always confuse you before you realized you were a system:
Always getting different answers for personality tests
Never being able to settle on a certain style or aesthetic
Always dealing with “fleeting” skills to the point where you could write a complicated and beautifully written paragraph and then a couple hours later not being able to write a cohesive sentence
Strange relationships with people where one moment you could barely be with them for more than a second and then an hour or two later you’re absolutely head over heels
Memory. “What even happened yesterday? What did I even do this morning?”
I’m pretty sure I forgot some so please add more!!
-William/Moska
shoutout to the systems who don’t get tons of asks or replies or reblogs on their posts.
shoutout to the systems who don’t have other plural friends they can be themselves with.
shoutout to the systems who aren’t in therapy and don’t have a place to be themselves and have to learn everything on their own.
shoutout to the systems who aren’t out to any friends/family and have to constantly pretend to be the host.
shoutout to the systems who don’t get enough attention and recognition on social media and feel their system isn’t cool or interesting enough.
shoutout to the systems who are still lonely despite having alters to keep them company.
shoutout to the systems that are going through all of this alone and don’t feel they’re getting enough support.
we want you all to know you are valid no matter who knows about you. no matter how covert your system is. you exist and you’re doing amazing. don’t be discouraged. we’re here for you.
DO NOT REPOST THIS COMIC. IF YOU WANT TO SHARE IT, PLEASE DO SO FROM THE SOURCE.
Here is my submission for @zakeno’s Mental Health Zine to help fight stigma in the professional field. My contribution is about my experiences with Dissociative Identity Disorder, which is sadly highly stigmatized and misunderstood, even within the mental health field (despite there being tons of concrete research to support it). Coming out about having DID is a thing that makes me very nervous, admittedly, but I want people to know that Dissociative Identity Disorder is very real and we deserve to be acknowledged and not feel like our existence has to be hidden or shameful.
I’m posting this comic in full is because DID deserves so much more recognition than it gets, but please go check out the kickstarter for the full zine and consider supporting it: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1056477701/the-animated-brain-mental-health-in-the-animation
Since I was limited to 5 pages for this specific project, this is only the very bare bones introduction to DID, and there is easily a million more things that can be talked about in how it presents and affects people individually, but hopefully this is a comprehensive introduction based on my personal experiences.
Even though this is only 5 pages, it was one of the most difficult projects we have done and took a few months because trying to get everyone as an alter to contribute when they were fronting to show our range in skills was a waiting game. Sadly, we were running out of time so sort of just had to have whoever was out at the end finish it (which was mostly Devyn).
Like briefly talked about in the comic, DID forms in response to repeated childhood trauma (generally by ages 6-9) when failing to integrate a singular sense of self is needed for survival. This failure to integrate experiences, memories, etc. leads to these self states being able to function independently from each other and control the body at different times with varying levels of amnesia between switches. As time goes on, the more each part experiences different aspects of day to day life, the more and more differentiated and developed they can become from each other. Even though alters can be highly distinct and can function as if they were individual people (and boy can it feel that way on top of a lot of us preferring to be acknowledged as separate from each other in our body), the reason it’s called Dissociative Identity Disorder and no longer goes by its outdated name, Multiple Personality Disorder, is because alters aren’t actual separate fully-fledged personalities, but instead a single individual’s life and experiences split up from each other in a bunch of dissociated self states.
If anyone is interested in knowing more about DID, I always recommend this website as a great source: http://did-research.org/
I’ll also throw in the Myths and Misconceptions page: http://did-research.org/did/myths.html
Spoilers: No people with DID don’t have secret killer alters and are no more dangerous than literally any other person. DID is a defense mechanism/way you develop to navigate your environment, and for us specifically, we continued to be victims of abuse and mistreatment even until recently due to our amnesia and lack of awareness hiding the knowledge when people were harming us.
Happy Mental Health Awareness Month, everyone!
I love this so much! Though we mostly only have partial amnesia, I relate so much to this.
Great work!
