Faith Collapsing @faithcollapsing - Tumblr Blog

After a long hiatus, I have returned to Tumblr. I figured after last night, it would be a good idea. I didn't vote for Trump, but I'm pleased to be welcomed back by plenty of liberal tears... and porn.

#election 2016

plebcomics

i dont have the comedy prowess to make jokes about any of this but tenaflyviper might since shes been keeping a wonderful archive of all the hilariously stupid shit the lifting community on tumblr has been up to (re: see her blog for sources) (ps: im sorry tena for any sudden explosions of blog activity this link may cause)

siryouarebeingmocked

You don’t need to make a joke. What they actually say is ridic enough.

shinden9

So I realised today that most of you have not heard the United States’ most horrifying noise: the Emergency Alert System, or EAS.

While other countries have pleasant little tones that alert their televisions or phones or radios to things like earthquakes (I remember hearing these a lot when doing the NicoNico streams of NHK during the 3/11 disaster), in the US we have this screeching thing that sounds like a 1980s cable box being beaten to shit with a bat.

It interrupts our televisions, radios, even streams with a noise that sounds like it’s straight out of the past. The TV lights up with a screen giving info in the old VHS player typeface. It’s sometimes accompanied by either a forty year old text-to-speech voice or a really, really low-fidelity recording of a man talking. Like, it sounds like someone called on a phone, and someone put that phone against another phone, and the person at the end of that phone recorded it on a phonograph, and the vinyl was put in a time machine to 1920, buried, and the record was just dug up today and played.

So like, Eldritch horror electronic screeching to chill your bones, then creepy hard to hear voices to get you freaked out even more.

The worst part? They have to test it monthly or weekly (some even do it daily), so you hear this shit and freak out like “oh shit a tornado is coming” or “fuck the Russians are finally attacking” but 90% of the time it’s just fucking with you.

one-big-hassle

I fucking hate this thing they used to wait until 5 am to test it on TV and then have it screech at top volume. It used to scare the fuck out of me. It was like hearing a ghost scream

allthenamesilikearetaken

i left my tv on by accident this last night and i sleep on the couch, so at 3 or 4 in the morning they played this and scared the shit out of me

grimspyslayer-deactivated201509

I once listened to this whole thing at like 1 in the morning and i couldn’t fucking sleep. I swear to god its the creepiest fucking thing.

allthenamesilikearetaken

now that i think of it, i actually had nightmares about this when i was little. id dream about being back in my old apartment near the woods (which only made it creepier) and id be home alone at night with that thing on the tv screen. i happened to be living in the corner of the building closest to the woods so the apocalyptic-like scene did not help. spooky

grimspyslayer-deactivated201509

The nuclear attack had a similar effect on me. I don’t know why but it seriously sounds scarier and i tear up from it.

quadriparesis-deactivated201908

The weather alert beep is literally terrifying ok. They always make it sound like it’s the fucking apocalypse. I’m shaking from listening to it.

grimspyslayer-deactivated201509

It seriously scares the fuck out of me

frogmunist-deactivated20190724

I’m not gonna exaggerate with this, it still terrifies me. I get so fucking scared when I hear this. It’s even worse after I played P.T. because of the voice on the radio that sounded so much like it.

grimspyslayer-deactivated201509

SAME