i genuinely feel like i have no place or role in the world anymore other than to be told things like “i think it is fun to pretend to be happy & i hope you find that same joy” while being invisibly & repetitively tortured by nothing each day in a tiny unchanging social microcosm & be relentlessly accepted for having nothing to say to hundreds of different statements per day from the same person, which draws me deeper & deeper into a confused malformed sense of what it means for me to be a functional social presence











