hey! i'm not really active here, i mostly use discord. that might change though, keep your eyes peeled. also thank goodness for tumblr themes idk what i'd do without them
"Oh my god!" "Someone call the police!" "Oh no, oh god, no, no, no…"
His ears wouldn't stop ringing.
He could only stare at what was in front of him.
Someone was sobbing distantly.
Smoke. Blood. Blood. Darkness.
The moon.
He couldn't move.
He was being picked up. He was being moved. He still can't look away from the sight.
He feels far away. Like he's dreaming.
He's alone.
Then
something
shifts
-The moon.
The moon is a bright sickly yellow. Brighter than he's ever seen.
Everyone else has turned into a coffin. He gasps at the sight.
He's… he's hallucinating. He has to be.
Everyone is dead.
Someone is
shouting
Clashing and gunshots and loud noises
He doesn't know them
He's scared
More scared than he's ever been in his life
He's alone.
Something approaches him.
He's scared.
The world
goes
black
[████████████████████████]
…
The streets are scary at midnight.
The moon shines overhead and he's alone. It's always like this at night.
He doesn't fully know where he's going.
He keeps seeing creatures slithering around in the corner of his eye. He thinks he's going crazy.
His feet hurt from walking, but there's nowhere to stop and rest, and…
A tower looms in the distance.
He has… a feeling. About it. He keeps walking despite the pain. Something curious guides him.
Something calls to him.
Something is
And then everything returns. And he's out on the street alone in the middle of the night. Something normal clicks back into his mind, a background hum suddenly there again.
That was stupid. That was really stupid. Why did he go all the way out here? His guardian's gonna be worried sick.
He tries to find a way back, looking around the street signs and road names for directions.
…He glances back behind himself, briefly, and…
There is no tower.
He stares for a moment before turning back.
[████████████████████████]
Every night was like that. No matter how much he tried to stop himself, the sickly yellow glow of the moon was hypnotizing every single time. He'd be in bed and then find himself in the middle of the streets walking a second later, to the point where it became a habit he'd just given into. The streets never got old, and he needed some exercise anyway.
And that tower…
He can't understand it. He's never told anyone about it. It's not the same tower every day, but it always looks similar. He can never quite recall its exact look at any point in time, though. Only at midnight. Something about it seemed weird.
He understands it better than anything only on these nights. Forbidden knowledge that dissipates at a moment's notice, ephemeral. In the mornings, it's akin to a dream he'd have trouble remembering. He knew he felt something about it at midnight, but it evaporates as soon as the dawn strikes.
Is something calling to him? He thinks he can hear something.
He looks around a bit, only seeing coffins, blood, and those… things. Nothing too weird, at least for him.
Those monsters have slowly gotten used to him. They used to chase after him upon seeing him and he really didn't wanna risk knowing what they'd do once they caught him, but now they no longer pay him any mind.
His theory is that they're just pedestrians that his messed up head can't understand for some reason that've just gotten used to the rumors of the weird emo kid that walks around at midnight.
He probably has some sort of cognitive brain disorder or chronic hallucinations or something. That or it's not that weird to see a teen on a walk at midnight compared to when he was a kid, or rumors have been spreading about him, or any number of things. He'll never really understand what those people think of him.
But that tower
It… feels real. It feels realer than anything else.
He doesn't know who he is when he sees it.
[████████████████████████]
He's getting closer, night by night. Walking further, lasting longer. The tower grows bigger and bigger as he approaches. It's all he can think of these days. He can't sleep anymore, doesn't sleep. Too much anxiety.
He's beginning to understand what constitutes a human mind less and less the more he thinks about it. Time and time again, his searches always lead to different answers that conflict with one another and no real solid answer.
But whatever he thinks of is always true for animals, as well. Desire, the need for safety, the ability to communicate effectively- these are all things animals have as well, albeit to a lesser degree.
So then what separates humanity from the animal kingdom? Is it smarts? Something humans made up?
What truly separates man from beast? What separates him from what he sees?
It's a time old question with countless different interpretations, most of them leading back to the question of what 'humanity' really is. He wonders about it constantly. It's the one thing that plagues him, that haunts him in every interaction.
He's no philosophy major, but he wants to find some unique answer to the question. One that fits right, at least to him.
He ponders these things as he walks.
…The creatures he sees feel more human to him than other people sometimes. He empathizes with their struggles clearly whenever he sees one flapping about pathetically to a degree he's never felt with anyone else.
Sometimes he sees them clearly trying to do an activity and yet failing, clearly reading their motivation and thought pattern and watching their heart get crushed in real time, and his heart aches at the sight in unison with them.
Nothing else has ever made him feel that way. Words of love, death, betrayal, strife; all ceased to make a dent in him. He's starting to believe he doesn't have any emotions at all, that someone took him and replaced the original, child Makoto with him and no one noticed.
He's gone crazy, is his only explanation. He's some sort of sociopath, some heartless man. He's no better than any human he's ever seen.
But that tower
That tower can protect him. Can fix him, can save him. It's some sort of maternal, paternal figure. He's been thinking of giving it a name recently.
T-something. T is a nice, solid letter. It feels sturdy. He would depend on that letter.
Every night, as he walks, he feels he is getting closer to something with each step. He can feel it inside of him. Some sort of aura. Some sort of field. Akin to having something on the tip of your tongue but not quite remembering it. He can almost grasp it, almost taste it, and yet it eludes him.
And he knows it's calling to him. He can hear it. The shadows speak his name.
Minato. Minato. Minato.
It's not his name. But it's his name. It's his title. It's him. (…What?)
He's not hearing things. It grows clearer the closer he is to the tower. Minato. Minato. Minato.
Minato Arisato.
That's who he'll be from now on, a part of him thinks irrationally. (What is he thinking?)
(But he's still Makoto Yuki. He has a life outside of this. He has people who'd notice if he was gone.)
(Right?)
The atmosphere clicks back to normal in a blink, as if on cue. Mina- Makoto stops in his tracks and looks up at the sky.
The moon is small and white.
There is no tower.
He's not Minato.
…Just what was he thinking?
[████████████████████████]
23:52.
He can't think. He can't eat. He was so close last time. He could hear the call of Tartarus. He could hear its song, more beautiful than anything. He could feel its sweetness on his tongue.
He's gone crazy.
23:53.
Head in his hands, staring at the clock directly in front of him, he can't think. Some part of him is begging for release, to go to bed already, to eat something, he's so hungry- but he won't let himself.
23:54.
He sits there, unmoving, unblinking.
23:55.
There's no one left to miss him. No one who'd care enough for a dropout like him.
He will be safe in Tartarus' hands. There is no one else who would care for him, who would love him like Tartarus does.
23:56.
His eyes bore holes into the clock.
23:57.
No one would miss him. He's alone.
23:58.
Next time, he won't turn back.
23:59.
He's ready.
00:00. He drops everything and runs out the door.
[████████████████████████]
Minato stares up at Tartarus, panting.
He made it.
His eyes are wide as he stares and walks inside in a trance. He's so, so tired, but he can't sleep. Not anymore.
He drags his reluctant legs forward as he marches on, his vision blurring in a dreamlike state.
The labyrinthine structure of Tartarus is long and arduous to traverse, but something in Minato's mind guides him forward, knowing internally this was the correct way to be going. Minato just trusts it wholeheartedly; it speaks to him so sweetly, after all. It could never lie to him. He might be imagining it, but the shifting rooms almost seem to be stopping their movements for him, letting him walk through with ease.
Not a single shadow comes his way. In fact, they seem to avoid him. Making way for him, almost. He stares at them as he passes by each corner. They freeze under his glare.
And almost seem to bow.
They slowly collect together to form a trail behind him, only evident by the ever increasing wet slapping sound of their appendages hitting the floor every time they walk. A part of him is disgusted by the sound, but he doesn't slow his pace. Something is waiting for him.
The walls seem familiar to him, like a childhood memory surfacing with no elaboration as to the context. Details are jumbled up and almost like a dream to remember, but there's something in there that has a smidge of reality.
He swears he knows this path. He's been here before, has he been here before? It's not just something in him guiding him anymore. His legs move almost on their own, the ebb and flow and mysteries of this place forming an answer in his mind that is neither solid nor fluid. He must reach a place- he knows this- and then something will happen.
There is a low hum in the background. The sound of something pulsating and wriggling that grows closer the more he walks. He can't exactly describe what it's like; something electric yet alive, something that calls for despair. A part of him is fascinated with it, won't let go of the idea of it. It's all he can think about as he walks.
Is this what love is?
He reaches it simultaneously faster and slower than he thought he would. He stumbles into the room and looks up at it and feels something so strong and violent within himself that he might threaten to vomit right now.
A broken staircase, and something lying on the top of it, illuminated by a white light behind it. It's hard to make out, but its large. He stares at the mysterious object above for a few moments.
The heart of Tartarus.
Something pulls him to it. He feels sick.
He looks back and sees the group of shadows staring at him. They look afraid and do not follow him further.
He takes a step forward towards the staircase. And then more. The shadows behind him watch as he stands at the very edge of the broken staircase.
Trust me.
A vision flickers in his sight for a second. He gasps.
A boy. A young boy with short black hair and glistening blue eyes akin to the moon.
He was smiling. Taunting him, beckoning him.
…Minato stares down at the abyss in front of him.
Then, he
puts
his foot
forward
And meets solid ground. Something moves in the nick of time to hold up his foot.
He flinches. He stares.
He tries again to take a step. The same thing happens. And then again.
Slowly, as he walks with trembling legs, his gaze redirects from the floor below him to what lies at the top of the stairs as the light fills more and more of his vision until he has finally reached the top.
He looks down at what lies in front of him.
It's a boy. Curled up and asleep.
The same boy he just saw.
As if on cue, the boy starts opening his eyes and stretches with a yawn, then lies on his back as he looks up at Minato with an unfazed expression. Those eyes bore into Minato's face. He can't imagine what expression he must have on his face right now.
"So, it's you." The boy says cryptically.
Minato blinks and doesn't move.
The boy sits up, still staring at Minato. "You're not meant to be here yet."
He smiles. There is neither shame nor questioning in his voice; he simply says it as if it was a matter of fact.
"…Am I now?" Minato speaks, quiet and voice ragged and raw as if he had been screaming. He's surprised by the own sound of his voice. He hasn't drank any water in a while, he remembers.
"Mm-mm," the boy shakes his head, "I'm surprised. You came out here all by yourself."
There is a pause.
"Well, I guess it's too late now, isn't it? It's nice to meet you, Minato Arisato. I'm Pharos." The boy extends his hand with a grin. Minato takes it hesitantly as the boy- Pharos- gives a firm shake with his cold hand, then lets go.
Pharos then stands up and puts his arms behind his back, a white clock framing him perfectly in its light as his scarily blue eyes shine with it.
"It seems there's no way out of that malignant future now." He smiles, and turns his head slightly. "This is your home now. Better get used to it."
Pharos disappears in a blink. Minato simply stares at the spot Pharos was at a second ago, then turns around to see his path backwards no longer there and the shadows crowding around the entrance to the room. They all bow in unison.
He simply sits on the edge of the platform he was standing on now, his arms at his sides, and then stares down at his shadows as a wave of something washes over him.
He doesn't know what he feels right now. Is it pride? Tyranny? Anger? Disgust? Horror? He can't tell.
The boy's words ring in his head as he stares down into the abyss again.
The emptiness of what's below him soothes him, somehow.
…All in all, this isn't too bad of a place to live, he thinks. Better than home.
As he stares down at the chasm below him, something cries in him. Something mourns what he's just lost by coming here, mourns the life he used to live. It has a terribly bad feeling about this all. That the end of the world is coming soon.
And, with that thought, he has a realization.
He doesn't recognize himself anymore. He hasn't in a while.
social experiment idea: two y/n headcanon posts / asmr videos / reader insert fanfic / whatever but when you connect them together it actually forms a coherent pairing and story. the social experiment part is to see how many people catch on
Or you know you could just use this as an excuse to collab with someone on a story or something. Your choice
Yeah, that's me on the right. You're probably wondering how I got into this situation. So it all started when my "oomf", as they say, wanted to start playing Sky-
(She then proceeds to talk for the next 2 hours.)
The Talk I Promised Regarding How I Fucked Up The P3 Hero and P4 Hero - Aikoto Edition
Okay, first, some disclaimers before I begin.
Firstly, I will refer to Sakuya (P3 Hero) using they/them in this version of the story. They technically haven't started going by that yet at this point in the lore, but I'd rather avoid this AU being confused for canon Makoto Yuki.
Secondly, the way I've structured this forces me to spoil the events around New Year's Day and Sakuya's (intended) fate at the end of the story for the post to make any sort of sense. It will be a reoccurring theme.
Finally, throughout this narrative there will be themes of existentialism (thanks, time loops!) and suicidal ideation/otherwise depressing thoughts. If you'll indulge me, I'll tell you more under the cut.
So, Aikoto, right? Yes, ultimately, the tragedy that they will never be together because of the narrative dooming them is the main focus of most of what centers around them.
But, well...
this time, things are a bit different.
In this version of the story, Sakuya isn't actually so quick to fall for Aigis. I mean, she's kind of Weird by human standards.
Like, picking the lock to Sakuya's room to just kind of stand over them as they sleep kind of weird.
So Sakuya...kind of doesn't really want to interact with her.
The events of November don't help this at all, and they essentially mentally put "Aigis DNI" in their metaphorical bio.
Aigis, meanwhile, is a bit too lost in her own head to really contest that.
As time went on, though, Aigis gained a better grasp of the concept of living, and Sakuya began to see a more sympathetic side to her personality…
Unfortunately, though, their fate was already before them.
It's New Year's Eve.
Humanity is pretty fucked and everyone is going to die soon. Thankfully, since Ryoji is still alive, SEES has a choice. Either kill him and delay the Fall, erasing everyone's memory of it coming for a blissfully ignorant end…or, face up against a pretty much impossible battle against Nyx herself.
What option do you think Sakuya chose?
I'll give you a second to guess...
..........
Time's up! The correct answer is...
The wrong option.
Why?
Well, maybe...
They had enough.
They rejected their own heart just to get away from everything.
They rejected their chance because they thought no one had flowered enough for them to form any attachment to the people around them.
They never truly learned to face their own fate, as the Velvet Room had so desperately needed them to do.
That's why they were brought back to the beginning the first time.
To make the right choice.
With that, we arrive at Persona 3 FES with a freshly revived Sakuya, now realizing just how shitty of a choice they just made.
Well, actually, they realized it a bit earlier, but they expected for their own death to be penitence for their sins which is how they kept calm after all of that. Unfortunately, they're still alive, so they're miserable and a horrible person.
Their knowledge of the loop is nothing more than a vague sense of deja vu and a broad knowledge that they made a horrible, horrible choice in a past life, so for the moment…they try to give Aigis another chance.
Much to their horror, however, Aigis has absolutely no recollection of the moments they had together in the past timeline, which Sakuya still remembers astonishingly clearly. But, in following her Social Link arc and her attempts to find her answer… Sakuya falls for her. And Aigis falls for them.
Aigis is the one to confess she has these feelings first, (in her own way of course) and Sakuya is happy to accept her into their arms having fallen for her since…probably late December of the previous timeline.
That's all well and good. However, Sakuya's enjoyment of the relationship is massively tainted by the fact that they know for sure everyone is (probably) going to die in a few months' time.
So, for once in their life, they find a… admittedly very fickle…reason to actually try to fight this time.
Well, two.
One, so that them and Aigis can have a slim chance to be happy for just a little longer.
Two, so that if they do end up dying they'll at least have the closure of not having to wait for what feels like eons for it.
They choose to leave Ryoji alone, but…they can't do it. They can't manage to win against Nyx. But at least…at least they tried, right…?
But they come back again.
They're still alive.
Why?
They made the right choice, where did they go wrong?
Why does no one else remember this?
Why is nothing changing but what's in their own pockets?
What do they have to do to be forgiven?
Why is everything they try to say, try to do differently… utterly useless?
It's going to end the same either way.
So is there a point in even trying…?
During this time, Sakuya really starts to lean on Aigis… perhaps a little too much.
Well, actually, that's a lie. Sakuya is essentially desperately trying to rely on her for emotional support instead of, you know, doing normal fluffy relationship stuff.
This is a HORRIBLE idea for three reasons.
1: Sakuya is the only person who has any sort of idea of what they're talking about.
2: Aigis is, by nature, still a machine and kind of sucks at emotional stuff.
3: Sakuya is not emotionally stable enough to actually get Aigis to properly engage with the full range of human emotions at this point.
So, obviously, they don't get the support they need from Aigis, and thanks to that coupled with the influence of Orpheus…they start thinking that she's just as useless as the rest of the cast.
With that, the two begin to slowly and painfully fall out of love from the Side Games - Part 1 timeline region until the Portable timeline region where they formally mentally "break up" with Aigis.
...Oh, yeah, and just to rub salt into the wound.
In this world, all of the side games canonically happened as separate resets.
Remember Persona Q?
Okay, so first of all it wasn't a dream. Second of all, Hayato (P4 Hero, she/her) was their destined partner during the whole Group Date Cafe thing.
But there's actually a little more to it than "Ah, yes, the other Mirror Project canon couple almost got married years before they formally met and got together because funny bankita reference."
The two did actually have a few more interactions beyond that, where Sakuya opened up to someone other than Aigis for once and got some semblance of actual compassion in return.
Which… finally got Sakuya to question whether their relationship with Aigis was working for either of them.
And figure out that they were, in fact, bisexual as all hell, but honestly if they weren't shoving down their feelings half the time I feel like Ryoji would've sparked that awakening way earlier.
Aigis is against their relationship though… presumably she's become emotionally dependent on them as well. Unfortunately, Sakuya isn't exactly over their emotional reliance on her either, so they kind of end up dropping the ball midway through.
that image was bigger than I thought. apologies for the inconvenience. we now return to our regularly scheduled text post.
At this point, they're emotionally exhausted and have started to realize this isn't going to work out for them so they mentally forbid themselves from even trying to talk to Aigis.
(Putting "Aigis DNI" back in that metaphorical bio, I guess, but now for an actually justified reason.)
Much to her continued confusion, of course, because all this time she's been spared the memory of just how messy their relationship is/was.
She's becoming predictable to them. With nearly every word they say, they can anticipate what she would say in response.
A machine designed to repeat the same script thinking it will hold weight every time is useless to them.
All of their teammates, all of their friends…
they're all machines.
There's no use trying to look back at them if they'll just see nothing there.
They're the only one who can change this world.
They're the only one who can defy Fortuna's will.
So, they make a plan to finally defeat the Goddess of the Night…
They know full-well that defeating the Goddess of the Night will result in their death.
And they're completely fine with that. Elated, even…
it just means they're going to be free soon. Free of this nightmare they've been repeating for years and years.
Free of these people repeating the same things over and over ad nauseum, free of Aigis, free of Ryoji…
They start to become unlike their usual self as the months pass.
They start talking to their friends more, saying and showing just how much they care about them. (See: Linked Episodes)
They start giving away rare items they've hoarded in their bag since the Original Timeline to the members of SEES…even to some of the other NPC Social Links!
…
The truth is, they just want to tie up loose ends before they're gone for real this time.
They haven't even bothered to cut their hair shorter like they usually do between timelines.
There were days where they went straight to bed after school because no one was available and they didn't need the stats anymore.
There were days where they didn't even get up at all.||
They knew exactly what to say to everyone already to win their hearts, after all.
They came up that day completely ready to give their life away…
But no,
Fortuna just HAD to spare them instead of giving them the sweet release of death.
Their plan works, to an extent, but instead of dying they arrive in the world of The Mirror Project in a…very strange act of mercy. Eventually, through a different path, we got to the present day where they're actually somewhat okay…but that's a story for a different book.
For now, have these Ryomina doodles I drew depicting kind of how they are in this whole situation.
They kind of just say shit to him knowing that he won't remember any of it just to have someone to bounce the ideas plaguing their mind off of.
It helps that Ryoji is the one person Sakuya gets some guaranteed alone time with regardless of whether or not they can muster themselves to talk to the other Social Links in that timeline.
Hello, everyone!
I haven't used this blog for almost a full year but I have been suffering in silence under the weight of these two to the point where I have fucked them up very, VERY badly. Now, I will suffer loudly! :D
In due time, you will hear more about how I've fucked up Sakuya (P3 Hero) and Hayato (P4 Hero) but for now have this shitty meme.
Okay, FINALLY, the refurbishment is over. Unlike the last time I tried this, I won't put as heavy a focus on the whole askblog thing as then it's easier to slink into the shadows and not have an internet presence.
ASKBLOG RULES:
- No NSFW asks, I'm a minor.
- Magic!Anon is fine within reason, but I will use my own discretion as to where the line is drawn.
- No "your mom" jokes /hj
- Need something clarified about a response? Don't hesitate to ask me!
GENERAL INTERACTION RULES:
Don't interact if you meet basic DNI criteria, have a NSFW-oriented account, have an account that exclusively posts about your political views or the political views of others (accounts dedicated to spreading awareness are okay), or are willing to completely throw off of the internet after catching wind of a very small mistake they've made for the first time. Also, please don't bring discourse here. I intend for this to be a safe space.
turnnoffyourmind
pixelskylines
stormborns
jacobvanloon
jbbartram-illu
yousharknotpass
prguitarman
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