[buffyisms]

❝ Everyone has them in L.A. Pepper spray is just so passe.  ❞

❝ Destructo Girl. That’s me.  ❞

❝ Okay, at this point you’re abusing sarcasm. ❞

❝ Well, in that case I won’t wear my button that says, ‘I’m a Slayer. Ask me how!’  ❞

❝ Clark Kent has a job. I just wanna go on a date.  ❞

❝ If the apocalypse comes, beep me.  ❞

❝ And the weird behavior award goes to…  ❞

❝ I cannot believe that you, of all people, are trying to Scully me. ❞

❝ Goodbye stakes, hello flying fatality. What can I shoot?“ ❞

❝ I can just tell something’s wrong. My spider sense is tingling.” ❞

❝ I’m putting my life on the line battling the undead.  ❞

❝ Look, I broke a nail, okay? I’m wearing a press-on. The least you could do is exhibit some casual interest.  ❞

❝ I’m sixteen years old. I don’t wanna die. ❞

❝ I may be dead, but I’m still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you. ❞

❝ We saved the world. I say we party! ❞

❝ Your mouth is open and sound is coming from it. This is never good. ❞

❝ Sorry, but I’m an old-fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies.  ❞

❝ Love makes you do the wacky. ❞

❝ Oh! I know this one! Slaying entails certain sacrifices, blah, blah, bity blah, I’m so stuffy, gimme a scone.  ❞

❝ I’m not gonna lie to you. It was scary. I’m so used to you being a grownup, and then I find out that you’re a person. ❞

❝ Do the words 'sealed in fate’ ring any bells for you? Why go there? ❞

❝ You’re the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me. ❞

❝ I just get messed sometimes. I wish we could be regular kids. ❞

❝ What does that mean anyway? 'Whole nine yards’? Nine yards of what? Now it’s gonna bug me all day. ❞

❝ My emotions give me power. They’re total assets! ❞

❝ Vampires are creeps. ❞

❝ I can’t do this! I can’t take care of things! I killed my Giga Pet. Literally, I sat on it and it broke. ❞

❝ I like seeing you. The part at the end of the night where we say good-bye… It’s getting harder. ❞

❝ You think he’s too old 'cause he’s a senior? Please. My boyfriend had a bicentennial. ❞

❝ I’ll just let it burn. ❞

❝ Welcome to the mystery that is men. I think it goes something like, they grow body hair, they lose all ability to tell you what they really want. ❞

❝ I seem to be having a slight case of nudity here. ❞

❝ I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t kill him for you ❞

❝ I can’t hold on to the past anymore.  ❞

❝ Chocolate means nothing to me. ❞

❝ The next impulsive decision I make will involve my choice of dentures.  ❞

❝ Great. This is just what my reputation needs: that I did it with the entire swim team. ❞

❝ I mean, when in the real world am I ever gonna need chemistry or history or math or the English language? ❞

❝ I don’t have a destiny. I’m destiny-free, really.  ❞

❝ The whole earth may be sucked into Hell, and you want my help 'cause your girlfriend’s a big ho?  ❞

❝ Well, let me take this opportunity to not care. ❞

❝ Do you think I chose to be like this? Do you have any idea how lonely it is, how dangerous? ❞

❝ I would love to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys or, God, even studying! But I have to save the world… again. ❞

❝ Close your eyes. ❞

❝ I woke up, and I looked in the mirror, and I thought, hey, what’s with all the sin?  ❞

❝ Oh, I just suck at undercover. ❞

❝ Didn’t anyone ever warn you about playing with pointy sticks? It’s all fun and games until somebody loses an eye. ❞

❝ All right, yes, date and shop and hang out and go to school and save the world from unspeakable demons. ❞

❝ You know, I wanna do girlie stuff!  ❞

❝ Oh, no, I have to go take an English makeup exam. They give you credit just for speaking it, right?  ❞ 

❝ So I, I told him that I loved him… and I kissed him… and I killed him.  ❞ 

❝ I’m _____. The Vampire Slayer. And you are… ❞

❝ ________ reporting for sanity. ❞

❝ You’ve awakened the Prom Queen within. And that crown is going to be mine.  ❞

❝ These children are gonna die if we don’t act now, okay, and think clearly. There is no room for mistakes.  ❞

❝ “We’re not friends. We never were.  I can fool my friends, but I can’t fool myself.  ❞

❝ What I want from you I can never have. You don’t need me to take care of you anymore. So I’m gonna go. ❞

❝ our logic does not resemble our Earth logic ❞

❝ World is what it is. We fight. We die. Wishing doesn’t change that.  ❞

❝ You’re weak. Everybody is. Everybody fails.  ❞

❝ Strong is fighting! It’s hard, and it’s painful, and it’s every day. It’s what we have to do. ❞

❝ I’ve seen too much. I know what goes bump in the night ❞

❝ I can’t be just a person. I can’t be helpless like that. ❞

❝ The important thing is that I kept up my special birthday tradition of gut-wrenching misery and horror.❞

❝ Being a Slayer is not the same as being a killer.  ❞

❝ Look, sooner or later, we’re both gonna have to deal.❞

❝ We help people! It doesn’t mean we can do whatever we want ❞

❝ You know what? I was wrong. You are an idiot.  ❞

❝ My life happens to, on occasion, suck beyond the telling of it. Sometimes more than I can handle. ❞

❝ Every single person down there is ignoring your pain because they’re too busy with their own.  ❞

❝ I’m a Sunnydale girl, no other choice.  ❞

❝ I’m going to give you all a nice, fun, normal evening if I have to kill every single person on the face of the earth to do it. ❞

❝ "I wish I could be a lot of things for you. A great student, a star athlete, remotely normal. I’m not.  ❞

❝ But there is something I do that I can do better than anybody else in the world. I’m gonna fight this thing, but I can’t do it and worry about you. ❞

❝ My brain isn’t really functioning on the higher levels. It’s pretty much: fire bad; tree pretty ❞ 

[buffyisms]

❝ Oh, I’m not really into porn… I mean I’m just… I’m trying to cut way back.❞

❝ When you look back at this, in the three seconds it’ll take you to turn to dust, I think you’ll find the mistake was touching my stuff ❞

❝ Uhm, this is much better. There is no problem that can not be solved with chocolate.“ ❞

❝ I don’t think the forces of darkness are even trying. ❞

❝ Yeah. I ran away and went to hell and then got through it. I’m kind of hoping she doesn’t use me as a model.  ❞

❝ I like my evil like I like my men - evil. You know, ‘straight up, black hat, tied to the train tracks, soon my electro-ray will destroy metropolis’ bad. ❞

❝ Can a nice, safe relationship be that intense? I know it’s nuts, but… part of me believes that real love and passion have to go hand in hand with pain and fighting. ❞

❝ Fortune favors the brave ❞

❝ I thought a professional demon chaser like yourself would have figured it out by now. ❞

❝ I’m the Slayer. Slay-er? - Chosen One. She who hangs out a lot in cemeteries? ❞

❝ You’re kidding. Ask around. Look it up: Slayer comma the. ❞

❝ Of course, you could smash in all my toes with a hammer and it will still be the bestest Birthday Bash in a big long while.” ❞

❝ Don’t worry I’ve patrolled in this halter many times ❞

❝ If you think that’s enough to kill me, you really don’t know what a Slayer is. Trust me when I say you’re gonna find out. ❞

❝ That probably would have sounded more commanding if I wasn’t wearing my yummy sushi pajamas.❞

❝ Yeah, well love isn’t logical. It’s not like you can be Mister Joe Sensible about it all the time. ❞

❝ No matter what, somebody’s gonna get hurt. And the important thing is, you just have to be honest, or it’s gonna be a lot worse ❞

❝ Are you quite finished? It’s over, okay? I’m going to ignore you, and you’re going to go away. ❞

❝ Also, in terms of hair care, you really wanna say, what kind of impression am I making in the workplace? ❞

❝I need to know more. About where I come from ❞

❝Maybe if I could learn to control this thing, I could be stronger, I could be better. But… I’m scared. ❞

❝ I know it’s gonna be hard. And I can’t do it… without you. I need your help. ❞

❝ I need you to be my Watcher again. ❞

❝ Thank you, logic boy. Did I mention this is a rant? Sense really has no place in it. ❞

❝ Oh, right. Yeah. Darn. My fellow ravers will be so disappointed. It was my turn to bring the Bundt cake.❞

❝ Your definition of narrow is impressively wide. ❞

❝ I realize that every Slayer comes with an expiration mark on the package. But I want mine to be a long time from now. Like a Cheeto. ❞

❝ Don’t talk about the books again. You get all… and sometimes there’s drool. ❞

❝ Power. I have it. They don’t. This bothers them. ❞

❝ So here’s how it’s gonna work. You’re gonna tell me everything you know. Then you’re gonna go away. ❞

❝ It doesn’t matter where you came from, or, or how you got here. ❞

❝ You are my sister. There’s no way you could annoy me so much if you weren’t. ❞

❝ I don’t know about you, but I’ve had it with super-strong little women who aren’t me. ❞

❝ I don’t need a guy right now. I need me. I need to get comfortable being alone with me.❞

❝ . I’m starting to feel like… being the Slayer is turning me into stone. ❞

❝ I know this ritual! The ancient shamans were next called upon to do the hokey-pokey and turn themselves around ❞

❝ Okay, no. Death is not a gift. ❞

❝ If I have to kill demons because it makes the world a better place, then I kill demons, but it’s not a gift to anybody. ❞

❝ What you did, for me… that was real. I won’t forget it. ❞

❝ I’m the Slayer. The chosen one. All mythic and defender-y. ❞

❝ Evil nasties are supposed to flee from me. Not the other way around. ❞

❝ I don’t understand. I don’t know how to live in this world if these are the choices. ❞

❝ I love you. I will always love you. But this is the work that I have to do. ❞

❝ The hardest thing in this world… is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me. ❞

❝ I think I was in heaven. And now I’m not. I was torn out of there. ❞

❝ Everything here is hard, and bright, and violent. Everything I feel, everything I touch, this is Hell. ❞

❝ Now, about my loan. I’m not saying I’m charging you for saving your life or anything, but… let’s talk rates. ❞

❝ Is that why you’re always cleaning your glasses? So you don’t have to see what we’re doing? ❞

❝ What can’t we face if we’re together? ❞

❝ Well, I’m not exactly quaking in my stylish yet affordable boots, but there’s definitely something unnatural going on here. And that doesn’t usually lead to hugs and puppies ❞

❝ Why can’t I feel? ❞

❝ A vampire with a soul? Oh my god, how lame is that? ❞

❝ I am the ghost of fashion victims past. Studded caps? Not a good idea. ❞

❝ I’m not saying that I’m doing back-flips about my life, but I didn’t, I don’t wanna die. That’s something, right? ❞

❝ Yeah, I think the New Kids On The Block posters are starting to date me ❞

❝ You always hurt the one you love. ❞

❝ We do not joke about eating people in this house! ❞

❝ The most important job that I have is looking out for you. ❞

❝ I’m using you. I can’t love you. I’m just being weak, and selfish and it’s killing me. I have to be strong about this. ❞

❝ I’d say you look like you’re ready to get married. ❞

❝ That’s because the dress is radioactive. ❞

❝ I have feelings for you. I do. But it’s not love. I could never trust you enough for it to be love. ❞

❝ But we don’t kill humans. It’s not the way ❞

❝ We can’t control the universe. ❞

❝ When I clawed my way out of that grave, I left something behind. A part of me. ❞

❝ Things have really sucked lately. That’s all going to change and I want to be there when it does ❞

❝ I want to see you grow up, the woman you’re going to become. Because she’s going to be beautiful and she’s going to be powerful. ❞

❝ I don’t want to protect you from the world. I want to show it to you. There’s so much that I want to show you. ❞

❝ Peachy with a side of keen, that would be me. ❞

❝ It’s not enough. I need to fix this. I don’t usually get a heads up before somebody dies.❞

❝ So what then? What do you do when you know that? When you know that maybe you can’t help? ❞

❝ It is always different! It’s always complicated. And at some point, someone has to draw the line, and that is always going to be me. ❞

❝ You get down on me for cutting myself off, but in the end the slayer is always cut off. ❞

❝ There’s no mystical guidebook. No all-knowing council. Human rules don’t apply. ❞

❝ There’s only me. I am the law. ❞

❝ It’s not coddling. Now go to your closet. ❞

❝ Anna Nicole Smith thinks you look tacky. ❞

❝ OK, you know, this is beyond evil. This is insane troll logic. ❞

❝ If you knew what I’ve done, what I’ve let myself become. ❞

❝ “I feel like I’m worse than anyone. ❞

❝ Look, there’s something evil working us, and if we are ever gonna have a chance to fight it, we need to learn everything we can about it. ❞

❝ "I don’t have a choice. Whatever this thing is, from beneath us, it’s bad, and it’s only getting worse. ❞

❝ No. I don’t hate like that. Not you, or myself. Not anymore. ❞

❝ You think you have insight now because your soul’s drenched in blood? You don’t know me. You don’t even know you. ❞

❝ You know, I didn’t even realize it was December. Maybe when we get home, we should decorate the rubble ❞

❝ I’m beyond tired. I’m beyond scared. ❞

❝ I’m standing on the mouth of hell, and it is gonna swallow me whole. And it’ll choke on me. ❞

❝ They think we’re gonna wait for the end to come, like we always do. I’m done waiting. ❞

❝ They want an apocalypse? Oh, we’ll give 'em one. ❞

❝ From now on, we won’t just face our worst fears, we will seek them out. We will find them, and cut out their hearts one by one.❞

❝ There is only one thing on this earth more powerful than evil, and that’s us. ❞

❝ Welcome to the hellmouth. ❞

❝ But I don’t believe in that. I always find a way. ❞

❝ ’m the thing that monsters have nightmares about. ❞

❝ don’t know what’s coming next, but I do know it’s gonna be just like this. Hard. Painful.❞

❝ Death is what a slayer breathes, what a slayer dreams about when she sleeps. Death is what a slayer lives. ❞

❝ My death could make you the next slayer. ❞

❝ The odds are against us. Time is against us. And some of us will die in this battle. ❞

❝ Most people in this world have no idea why they’re here or what they want to do. You do. ❞

❝ You think I’m losing sight of the big picture, but I’m not. ❞

❝ You can’t beat evil by doing evil. I know that. ❞

❝ The hellmouth has begun its semi-annual percolation. Usually, it blows around May. ❞

❝ They’re not all gonna make it. Some will die, and nothing I can do will stop that. ❞

❝ I’m the slayer. The one with the power ❞

❝ I’ve been carrying you, all of you, too far, too long. Ride’s over. ❞

❝ I don’t like having to give a bunch of speeches about how we’re all gonna live, because we won’t. ❞

❝ This isn’t some story where good triumphs because good triumphs. Good people are going to die! ❞

❝ Hello! All I do is look at the big picture. The other day, I gave an inspirational speech to the telephone repair man. ❞

❝ "I have a mission to win this war, to save the world. I don’t have time for vendettas. The mission is what matters. ❞

❝ "I’m tired of talking. I’m tired of training. ❞

❝ For 7 years, I’ve kept us safe by doing this, exactly this, making the hard decisions. ❞

❝ And now, what, suddenly you’re all acting like you can’t trust me? ❞

❝ Don’t… be afraid to lead them. ❞

❝ Whether you wanted it or not, their lives are yours. ❞

❝ It’s only gonna get harder. Protect them, but lead them. ❞

❝ I cut myself off from them, all of them. I knew I was going to lose some of them.❞

❝ I’ve always cut myself off, I’ve always — being the Slayer made me different but it’s my fault I stayed that way. ❞

❝ People are always trying to connect to me but I just slip away. ❞

❝ "People die. You lead them into battle, they’re going to die. It doesn’t matter how ready you are or how smart you are. War is about death. Needless, stupid death. ❞

❝ I’m cookie dough. I’m not done baking. I’m not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I’m gonna turn out to be.  ❞

❝ "I hate this. I hate being here. I hate that you have to be here.  ❞

❝ I hate that there’s evil, and that I was chosen to fight it. ❞

❝ But this isn’t about wishes. This is about choices. ❞

❝ I’m going down into the hellmouth, and I’m finishing this once and for all. ❞

❝ So here’s the part where you make a choice ❞

❝ So I say we change the rule. I say my power should be our power. ❞

❝ Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong? ❞ 

[looseguns-deactivated20170114]

au hades & persephone ?? persephone as an undercover agent who’s devastatingly beautiful & devastatingly deadly in equal portions, pomegranate( or blood ? )-stained mouth a warning that men falsely see as an invitation. noted for her ability to infiltrate criminal organisations: get to the centre and rip the heart out. has put thousands to prison, crime-empires to ruins, men to ashes. she is assigned a new undertaking: to capture head of a organisation that is running the city. enter hades, kingpin of a mob, underground prince of chaos and blood, the city is in his dark grasp: police & judges brought to silence, men enslaved to his command or he will wreak death, etc, etc. she, ultimately, is sent to end his reign of terror. & she enters his underworld, plying for his trust through both helping with administration and seducing, slowly creeping into his affections, while privately sizing him up. but instead of axing the whole organization to rubble and extracting his bloody heart, she wants to rule it —  with him.

[agreysuniverse]

[runewritess-deactivated20170719]

spooky scary plots 4 halloween time:

- paranormal investigators! like preferably maybe a pair of bloggers or filmmakers that travel the country searching for aliens and ghosts and cryptids and, like, investigating local urban legends and things! bonus points for an x-files-esque relationship where one is a believer and the other is a skeptic!

- a medium moves into a new house/apartment and discover that it’s haunted by a relatively friendly ghost. despite starting off nervous about the ghost—since they’re usually aggressive—the medium and ghost grow to be friends. and eventually fall in love. the problem? the medium’s promised the ghost that they will help them move on! v angsty.

- a plot kind of inspired by stranger things only older. like, a kid was messing around in the outskirts of their small town and they meet another kid, who says they just escaped from bad people and who has superpowers. the normal kid does what they can to protect the other kid but eventually the bad people capture them again. fast-forward several years and the normal kid is in college, living their life—the encounter was just a weird thing that happened to them. that is, until they open their apartment door and there is the other kid, who begs them for their help.

-i dk how exactly we’d do it but something inspired by scream or cabin in the woods—a pair of friends (or a group of friends, if we wanted to do a mumu) dealing with a killer that seems to have some sort of vendetta against them in particular. maybe we could kill off npcs to start and maybe our characters if we decide to go that way? but regardless, a group of teens surviving a killer, trying to find out who it is, etc. etc.

- and always supernatural creature plots like idc if it’s human/supernatural or supernatural/supernatural but give me all of the werewolves and vampires and ghosts and witches and whatever else!!!

[triplevarsity]

❝ What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday? ❞

❝ I wish I could, but I don’t want to.  ❞

❝ You have to stop the Q-tip when there’s RESISTANCE!  ❞

❝ Crossed the line?! You’re so far past the line, you can’t even see the line! The line is a dot to you.  ❞

❝ From now on, this chair is the one. You know what else is the one? My sweatpants!  ❞

❝ No, you didn’t get me! It’s an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!  ❞

❝ I make jokes when I’m uncomfortable.  ❞

❝ I’m not so good at the advice. Can i interest you in a sarcastic comment?  ❞

❝ I fold like a cheap hooker that got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face.❞

❝ We were on a break!!!!  ❞

❝ You could not be more wrong. You could try, but you would not be successful. ❞

❝ I am here, on my knees, holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of sorrow and regret.  ❞

❝ Gum would be perfection.  ❞

❝ Ya know I can’t believe I even thought about getting back together with you! We are so over!  ❞

❝ It bodes well for me that speed impresses you. ❞

❝ I can’t believe I almost lost another girl because of counting!  ❞

❝ Out of the blue!? This isn’t out of the blue! This is SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BLUE!  ❞

❝ Oh I’ll prove it, I’ll prove it like a theorem!  ❞

❝ What the hell am I doing? You just broke my fridge!  ❞

❝ Well my apartment isn’t there any more, because I drank it.  ❞

❝ Okay, but there is a big difference, all right? You are a lot hotter than I am. ❞

❝ I mean, isn’t that just kick you in the crotch spit on your neck fantastic?  ❞

❝ When the package is this pretty, no one cares what’s inside. ❞

❝ Guys can fake it? Unbelievable! The one thing that’s ours!  ❞

❝ It’s like there’s rock bottom, then 50 feet of crap, then me. ❞

❝ Wow! It looks like the Easter Bunny’s funeral in here.  ❞

❝ Yes, we would like some more alcohol, and you know, we would like some more beers too…  ❞

❝ You hung up on the pizza place? I don’t hang up on your friends.  ❞ 

[octaviagifs]

When the fire in your soul turns to rage, that’s when you realize how the ugliness of life has distorted you.   (requested by @x-octavia-blake-x)

[babyanimalgifs]

[whentherightonecomesalong]

I love you more than you could know  You’ve got a hole inside my soul  It’s like a mountain soaked in snow  It’s in the earth the river flows

[cm-daily]

[newtmqs-deactivated20200629]

don’t you?

[jonasvasqez]

[sizzygifs]

“Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak.”  – Sun Tzu

[buffyisms-archive]

PSA; Guys it’s Shameless. These starters are vulgar and not always the nicest. Be kind and don’t send anyone triggers that you know will hurt them.

❝ You came all the way down here to talk about my pubes? ❞

❝ This ain’t Macy’s bitch, you ain’t window shopping. ❞

❝ The front door was locked so I came in the back. No pun intended  ❞

❝ And everyone looks at me like I’m fucking up…. which I am! ❞

❝ Whores dont get cars. ❞

❝ You’re like a fucking cockroach. Able to live anywhere and feed off anything.  ❞

❝ That bitch is crazy and not crazy like ooh you so crazy bitch, no! She almost beat me to death because i asked if there was any more broccoli. ❞

❝ I totally almost drowned a slut! ❞

❝ I’m the only guy I know that’s been given last rights 3 times  ❞

❝ Circle doesn’t start with an ’S’. What the fuck?  ❞

❝ I believe in a force that thinks it’s greater than myself.  ❞

❝ The best gift you can give is neglect. Neglect fosters self-reliance.  ❞

❝ … I’m talking hold-on-to-the-grass so- you-don’t-fall-off-the-Earth hammered.  ❞

❝ The bat is for killing, not playing. ❞

❝ Doctors are thieves, they just have degrees to keep them out of jail  ❞

❝ What kinda hard liquor you got…and how much?  ❞

❝ Welcome to the predictable consequences of using crystal meth  ❞

❝ Liking what I like don’t make me a bitch. ❞

❝ There’s no such thing as casual sex anymore. ❞

❝ In the end there will be only the rich and the fucked. ❞

❝ The one fucking day of the year I need to take a shower and the goddamn water’s turned off! ❞

❝ I’ve been spending all morning talking about what a cow says. It’s moo, motherfucker. ❞

❝ I’m fucking busy, Peppermint Patty  ❞

❝ I believe the answer to that question, like the answer to most questions, is fuck you! ❞

❝ Not everyone just gets to blurt out how they fucking feel every minute. ❞

❝ Fuck you, fuck you, and especially fuck you. ❞

❝ Give me liberty or give me meth. ❞

❝ People fuck up. That’s life. ❞

❝ But no one likes to hear a grown man cry. It’s like the verbal equivalent of a man wearing uggs.❞

❝ That’s why women were invented. To think for you assholes. ❞

❝ You were nicer when you were asleep. ❞

❝ You need to stop biting, punching, and hurting people. ❞

❝ The first rule you learn in this house, you hide the god damn money.  ❞

❝ Did the two of us finish off an entire gallon of box wine last night? ❞

❝ Because it’s never about me, and i’m finally making it about me! ❞

❝ I trust you. That’s bigger to me that ‘I love you’. ❞ 

[buffyisms-archive]

❝ If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter, why does he keep slapping her rear?  ❞

❝ Oh, great. Now he’s got a boner.  ❞

❝ I found a liquor store and I drank it ❞

❝ The voice says I’m almost out of minutes ❞

❝ Of course I peed myself, man gets hit by a car, he doesn’t have full control of his bladder! ❞

❝ I’d like to thinks its cause of my perky nipples ❞

❝ The last time you zapped me some place, I didn’t poop for a week. ❞

❝ I think I learned a valuable lesson: Always take down your Christmas decorations after New Year’s, or you might get filleted by a hooker from God ❞

❝ Why’d you have to use tongue?  ❞

❝ Hey! Ass-butt! ❞

❝ Close encounter? What kind? First? Second?  ❞

❝ You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex. ❞

❝ I learned that from the pizza man. ❞

❝ Do you ever tire of urinating? I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it. ❞

❝ You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man that I believed you to be.  ❞

❝ Driver picks the music. Shotgun shuts his cake hole.  ❞

❝ Not me the FBI, the real FBI! How are you still alive? ❞

❝ I think I’m freaking adorable ❞

❝ Oh my god, I’m a painted whore. ❞

❝ I’m re-hymenated!  ❞

❝ Accidents don’t just happen accidentally.  ❞

[buffyisms-archive]

❝ My first time out, I missed the heart too.  ❞

❝ I put the box next to the milk. I saw it on the food channel.  ❞

❝ So peachy with a side of keen, that would be me.  ❞

❝ I think it’s pretty safe to say I’m not going to see anyone who’s invisible. ❞ 

❝ In the end, we all are who we are, no matter how much we may appear to have changed. ❞

❝ I honestly don’t think there’s a human word fabulous enough for me.  ❞

❝ Oh, my name will be on everyone’s lips, assuming their lips haven’t been torn off.  ❞

❝ You’ll always be in the dark with me. ❞

❝ The next few months are going to be quite a ride. ❞

❝ It’s not about wrong. It’s not about right. It’s about power. ❞

❝ Come for the food, stay for the dismemberment.  ❞

❝ Wait — that gets your sad noise? People’s lives are in danger, and you give it up for the Yorkie?  ❞

❝ You feel really responsible? You are really responsible!  ❞

❝ I know I hurt you… and everyone… and I’m sorry.  ❞

❝ Wow, that was so close to being empowered.  ❞

❝ I need to fix this. I don’t usually get a heads up before somebody dies.  ❞

❝ I’d love to backpack across the country or, I don’t know, fall in love, but I won’t. I just never will.  ❞

❝ There is something bad down here, possibly everything bad. ❞

❝ You think we haven’t seen all this before? The part where you just cut us all out. Just step away from everything human and act like you’re the law.  ❞

❝ It is always different! It’s always complicated. And at some point, someone has to draw the line and that is always going to be me!  ❞

❝ There’s only me. I am the law.  ❞

❝ Did everybody have their Crazy Flakes today?  ❞

❝ I’m not even sure there’s a me to help.  ❞

❝ And also, it’s a classroom, you chowderhead! ❞

❝ His physical presence has a penis!  ❞

❝ We’re outlaws with hearts of gold.  ❞

❝ I mean, I was afraid to talk to you in high school, and now we’re, like, mortal enemies. ❞

❝ We’re gonna have to fight to the death, aren’t we?  ❞

❝ You’re not leaving this graveyard. Can’t let you. ❞

❝ I’m here to kill you, not to judge you.  ❞

❝ You know you were a lot more fun when you didn’t have a soul.  ❞

❝ You faced the monster inside of you and you fought back.  ❞

❝ You risked everything to be a better man. And you can be. You are. You may not see it, but I do.  ❞

❝ I’m beyond tired. I’m beyond scared.  ❞

❝ There is only one thing on this earth more powerful than evil. And that’s us.  ❞

❝ Um… why is that guy tied to a chair?  ❞

❝ We cannot afford to fall apart now.  ❞ 

❝ I’ll pay you to talk about Star Wars again.  ❞ 

❝ I see more than anybody realizes because nobody’s watching me. ❞

❝ You’re not special. You’re extraordinary. ❞

❝ Okay, you know there’s a better word for that, right?  ❞

❝ You think I’m losing sight of the big picture, but I’m not.  ❞

❝ I should move out. Leave town before it is time for me.  ❞

❝ Oh, thank God. If I had to explain all these weapons? I had nothing.  ❞

❝ Aside from getting rescued, what is that you do?  ❞

❝ Why can’t you just masturbate like the rest of us?  ❞

❝ You’re scared? That’s smart.  ❞

❝ Damn. I never knew you were that cool.  ❞

❝ Tell anyone we had this conversation, I’ll bite you. ❞

❝ You really do think you’re better than we are.  ❞

❝ We’re all on death’s door, repeatedly ringing the doorbell, like maniacal Girl Scouts trying to make quota.  ❞

❝ You just wanted me because I was… unattainable. ❞

❝ Please, let’s not go over the past.  ❞

❝ You’re insufferable.  ❞

❝ You listen to me. I’ve been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that. ❞

❝ When I say I love you, it’s not because I want you, or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are.  ❞

❝ I’ve seen your kindness, and your strength. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you, and I understand, with perfect clarity, exactly what you are. ❞

❝ You’re a hell of a woman. You’re the One. ❞

❝ I don’t want to be this good-looking and athletic. We all have crosses to bear. ❞

❝ I want to wrap my hands around some innocent neck and feel it crack.  ❞

❝ Thank God we’re hot chicks with superpowers. ❞

❝ One way or another, it can only mean an end is truly near.  ❞

❝ Oh my god, are you twelve?  ❞

❝ Are you just gonna come here and go all Dawson on me every time I have a boyfriend?❞

❝ Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?  ❞

❝ Well, now aren’t we gonna discuss this? Save the world or go to the mall? ❞

❝ The Earth is definitely doomed.  ❞ 

[humoristics]