weightless, formless, blameless, nameless.

[falloutgoats]

I'm probably going to be moving to a different blog. I am attached to this one, but it got very sad and very honest and I feel perhaps a fresh start is in order after all these years.

If anybody has any other suggestions, please send me a message.

[darkhairedgirlfromgallifrey-dea]

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (‭Psalm‬ ‭139‬:‭13-14‬ NIV)

Bible (via darkhairedgirlfromgallifrey)

[greenhouseitem]

“it takes guts to be gentle and kind” you know what morrissey? you’re right you dumb bitch

[falloutgoats]

Do you watch Alex Bertie?

Sometimes :) Why though? This seems v. random ahaha

[mountaingoatssuggestion]

be grateful for the attention

[holytemple]

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! 

Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.”

- Galatians 5:22-25 (NLT)

[falloutgoats]

I fixate on dates and final moments.

7th September, 2015. My birthday. The last time I saw you at home. You handed me a card (that she first handed you) and I sat on the sofa ('settee') and you sat in your chair. I miss that day and I think about it a lot. I don't think anybody else realises, but it's significant to me. The more I think about it right now, the more I miss you.

[31women]

Something that has completely blown me away lately is how human Jesus was. He was the son of God, but he was also the son of man. He felt the sand beneath his feet just as his twelve followers did. He wept, he bled, he laughed. He knew what cool water was to parched lips. He was familiar with cracked feet and aching bones. He experienced the stings of rejection and ridicule. Just like us, Jesus felt. He felt every lash, every sting, and every blow.

He knows what our broken hearts hold. He sees those shaking hands and they remind him of his own.

We are so afraid we will be misunderstood, so we tuck our grief into our chests and smile with the pretense of “everything is fine.”

But Jesus understands how things fall apart. He understands what it is to hurt. He knows. He gets it. He lived it.

Unpack your grief. Reach into those deep parts of your soul and drag those feelings back out into the open. Lay them at his feet. I promise he will listen. I promise he’s been there, too. I promise he will hold your shaking hands so gently and so sweetly. I promise he will weep with you.

Because he was first the son of God, but second he was the son of man.

I promise he will understand.

Go ahead. Unpack your heart.

-31Women (Ansley)

[falloutgoats]

(i'm back, sorry - last ask from me dw) fr though, you don't deserve to be unhappy and I hope things are better 💙 I might come out to them one day but I'm nb and people take the piss so maybe not - I appreciate the encouragement though n I'm happy for u. sorry if I'm bothering u now, have a lovely day x

don't apologise! well, i hope all goes well whatever you choose to do 🌿

[falloutgoats]

i think ur super brave for being out to ur family and shit, like i could never do that, i dont think i ever will. idk. you seem to have a lot of shit going on so i hope ur doing okay and if not i hope ur okay soon. much love <33

aw mate, thank you so much for this 💛 I hope you're having a good day 🌿🌿🌿 (and everybody does things in their own time, it took me years to talk to my family and 'come out', and it's certainly an ongoing process 💛)

[falloutgoats]

I carried you to the church. Sat, and waited in the intermittent rain, keeping us dry under the broken umbrella. I waded into the river, poured out my heart and watched the curling white-grey plume of ribbon and smoke rush away with the fast-moving waters. It was beautiful. I'm so privileged to have been able to do that for you. I feel like I've said goodbye so many times, and this time was no easier. But it was breathtaking.

[falloutgoats]

I kinda stopped posting abt ~trans stuff~ on here after getting some creepy messages from someone at my school, but: I'm meeting my therapist in a couple weeks and I feel so optimistic and excited 💛💪 I came out to my parents almost a year ago and hopefully this will help me to articulate my feelings and talk to people more! 🏳️‍🌈♂️

[mental-ch-illness]

shoutout to my favorite coping mechanism, isolation

[falloutgoats]

It feels like everything is against us right now.

[falloutgoats]

I started reading a book about L.S.Lowry this lunchtime. I didn't realise he painted more than just industrial scenes - and had no idea that he painted cricket games. I'm getting more of an insight as to why you loved his work, I suppose - I want to learn more about him.

[falloutgoats]

Things went from bad to worse to even worse than that. I'm attending another funeral, two weeks tomorrow. My grandad Harry - we weren't as close, and I've mentioned here before that he's been ill, but I think it'll be hard because it's so soon after Grandad's. I wish I had some good news to talk about.

[falloutgoats]

I remember when my grandma first gave me my own set of keys to my grandparents' house. It felt so grown up, and I was able to let myself in whenever I needed to. The house is being sold and I'll have to give those keys back. Something about it really, really, really hurts. My heart /hurts/. I pray every day for things that are impossible.