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BRIANNE SIDONIE DESAULNIERS ( dog mom and part-time superhero ) "i'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. i make mistakes, i am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." – marilyn monroe

[famelarson-archive]

* 𝓉𝑒𝓍𝓉 𝓂𝑒𝓈𝓈𝒶𝑔𝑒 ↬ cheez

brendon: you're perfect ENOUGH to bench 2 underweight adolescents tho

brendon: t(-_-)t

brendon: yeah, don't blame you......... it's wisconsin

brendon: hope you know that means if you ever travel there without me, i'll be 3

brendon: heartbroken

brie: i’m not perfect ENOUGH to hop fences, unfortunately. the laziness!

brie: this where you’re supposed to say ‘i love you’ back

brie: i’m only going to travel there with you, b. cross my heart!

brie: what movie are we watching again?

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imessage; rami malek 😘💘

rami: umm i'm pretty sure any pose you do is gonna be sexy. even if you TRY to make it look bad... you can't. impossible.

rami: RIGHT? there's actually a few different websites where you can build a custom one to have hand made, and there's and option for an RGB shifting light for the blade. so you CAN... it just won't have that disney stamp of approval, haha.

rami: i did. CAREFUL, you know they're monitoring your every move... but yeah, i enjoyed it. i mean i'm gonna enjoy /anything/ star wars simply 'cause it's star wars, i still love the hell out of the prequels, too, and we know how... poorly those have aged. i know there were parts that ppl were especially mad about, but i've been able to dissect them to the point that i was satisfied. i think jj did the best he could with what rian left him (which was nothing he had PLANNED, b/c disney is dumb and brought in a new director for the middle movie liKE WHY)

rami: you love it :)

brie: oh please! is this where i'm supposed to agree? the only time i feel /truly/ sexy is when i'm with you.

brie: for real? hand made and all? people are extremely talented and it makes me sick! we'll need to check those options out but we're still going to create lightsabers together. it'll be interesting! i've never made a droid before... i can't wait to spend a fortune!

brie: yeah, i'm going to enjoy anything star wars related because like you said, it's star wars! i bawled in the theater when i watched TROS because i knew it was the end of the skywalker saga but carrie fisher, dude....... OUR PRINCESS. OUR GENERAL. the critics didn't give the movie justice though. sure, i was disappointed, but 52% on rotten tomatoes? it wasn't /that/ bad. D-O was the star!

brie: look at us -- we're nerding out! how adorable!

brie: fuck, you're right. i do love it 😘

[famelarson-archive]

imessage; tessa thompson

tess: 🎶🎶 it's going down for real 🎶🎶

brie: please sing me to sleep

[famelarson-archive]

( 𝐬𝐦𝐬 𝐭𝐨 ) 𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙚𝙨𝙮 𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙚

ben: MMKAY ahem

ben: you've been a supportive light in my life for as long as i can remember. you're clearly very very talented and amidst your consistent rise to fame, you've never ~once~ made me feel like a burden. with every heartache, you humbly allow me to be a shoulder for you and share your worries with me. you're an excellent hugger and a gorgeous lady and we're friends hunny, why wouldn't i love you!!

ben: (rhetorical question, don't get self critical on me boo)

ben: beanie, kathryn, molly, zoey, selena, you -- i have many wives but zero husbands. the WOE

ben: true. but melissa knows him right? they dated before or something? or no?

ben: he didn't say much because i didn't wanna prod, just that you were over at his place ~

ben: so i asked to INTRUDE into the hangout but he said it was a private one so my ears perked WAY UP 👀

brie: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

brie: i have real tears in my eyes, ben. this was beautiful! our friendship means a lot to me!

brie: and you've never judged me for being a total fuck up either! MY HUSBAND!

brie: brb i'm framing this conversation :)))

brie: we need to find you a husband asap! marriage is amazing!

brie: did they date? fuck, i have no idea. i think she said it was a one night stand or whatever. those are messy!

brie: i would've supported you if you decided to intrude but you'd only pay attention to rami, which is understandable -- the man is gorgeous!

brie: are you catching my drift?

brie: a private hangout.......... that could mean anything!

brie: 🍆👋

brie: /ANYTHING/ 👀

[famelarson-archive]

text ✉️ captain legend. 🤗

gust: frack?

gust: they're just threatening you, it's not like they'll actually do something.

gust: YO WHATS UP BRYAN U FUCKING ASSHOLE COULDN'T CALM BRIE DOWN?????????????

gust: who is banks

gust: oh yeah the girl we stan!

gust: def team banks!

brie: fuck

brie: um........... they're hungry for some violence, gustin!

brie: NOBODY CAN CALM ME DOWN

brie: who is banks? who is banks¿

brie: that shouldn't even be a question

brie: yeah, WE STAN!!!!!

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Text to: Miss Larson (｡♥‿♥｡)

mercedes: don't i know it!! i should just retire rn. do the world a favor. my life would be nothing without you.

mercedes: i'll enjoy the videos while suffering because it's you.

mercedes: i mean when you're this gorgeous, should you expect any less??

brie: if you retire right now, the universe will be happy. nobody fucks with sasha banks. what a loser -- god, we've made enemies this week... does this mean we're partners in crime?

brie: that's TRUE LOVE

brie: you're so gorgeous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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imessage; melissa benoist

mel: welcome sweetie and don't forget your jacket.

mel: you're gonna ski with me xD okay?

brie: i forgot my jacket :((

brie: of course! i can't say no to that!

[famelarson-archive]

( text ) ⤑ captain witch

lizzie: i woke up this morning feeling like i was getting a cold, did you jinx me so i couldn't leave?

brie: yes

brie: I JINXED IT

[famelarson-archive]

imessage; rami malek 😘💘

rami: well it's a good thing i like it, then.

rami: PINK DESERVES BETTER. i mean all you have to do is start purifying a corrupt kyber crystal and /eventually/ you'll get pink 🙄 i bet kylo ren's saber would end up pink if he hadn't punched his ticket

rami: here everyone's saying i should be in some star wars offshoot movie or tv show, but no, surprise guys! i'm just the dork that checks the writers for their accuracy.

rami: i need glasses so i can push em' up my nose rn

brie: first, i’ll have to find the best pose that’d be... /sexy/.

brie: PINK DESERVES BETTER. i wonder why they don’t give us more colors though....... we should be able to do whatever the hell we want considering the price for the lightsabers.

brie: did you watch the new star wars movie? as a fan, i was disappointed. was it worse than endgame? maybe... i’m going to get in trouble one of these days if my text messages were ever leaked. “BRIE LARSON FIRED” — it’d be a good day for all my haters.

brie: you’re such a freakin’ dork

[famelarson-archive]

imessage; rami malek 😘💘

rami: i'd complain about being teased, but i deserve this. i'll just have to make it up to you when i see you~

rami: we should, them removing all that damn lore just to make their own jobs easier was bull. like.... hire a couple star wars nerds to BE your lore masters. damn. it's not that hard.

rami: now you got me STARTED, brie.

brie: and i’d be offended if you didn’t make it up to me. teasing is my strong suit, anyways.

brie: this is what i like to see, rami! a star wars fan CARING about the saber colors!

brie: maybe you should go work for disney. i’ll put in a good word, babe 😙

[famelarson-archive]

imessage; rami malek 😘💘

rami: oh jeez, now i have to be extra careful opening texts from you, don't i? .. nice

rami: i wonder what colors we can do? i'm sure it's limited, but i know pink used to be a canon color and i'm.... super into that... but i'll probably have to stick to red, haha.

brie: especially in public

brie: i know at disneyland you’re only allowed the four saber colors, so you might be stuck with red. pink would be beautiful though. should we write a lengthy letter to disney about this?

[famelarson-archive]

imessage; rami malek 😘💘

rami: i'm sorrryyy, brendon /insisted/ on seeing me and i can't say no to that idiot.

rami: me neitherrr. liz was telling me that we can build droids?? so we have to do that obviously

brie: it’s fine... it’s whatever! i’ll send you pictures instead.

brie: you have to get your very own lightsaber too!

[famelarson-archive]

* 𝓉𝑒𝓍𝓉 𝓂𝑒𝓈𝓈𝒶𝑔𝑒 ↬ cheez

brendon: don't tell me you can bench 200+ lbs but you can't yeet yourself from one side of a fence to the other, cheez.....

brendon: just tell me you hate me & be done with it :/

brendon: i know there's absolutely nothing up there, but that's what makes it /exciting/. GOD

brie: i’m sorry i’m not perfect, brendon!

brie: i hate you

brie: fuck! i hate it when my phone autocorrects shit.

brie: i love you

brie: being stuck with you in wisconsin doesn’t sound all that bad...... but it’s wisconsin.

[famelarson-archive]

( text ) ⤑ captain witch

lizzie: absolutely, i'm FANCY i get apps AND desserts.

brie: you’re my queen ❤️

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txt ✨ brie

candice: you were truly such a bad ass in hoot, i loved that movie. haha. it was amazing.

candice: wait..why else would i watch it? :o

brie: my acting in that movie... CRINGE

brie: ah, i love it!

[famelarson-archive]

imessage; melissa benoist

mel: they do not I've told you that before. Everyone lvoes you.

mel: never do it's very bad idea lol. skiing is hard enough.

brie: ........ thank you, mom

brie: i might try it now

[famelarson-archive]

* 𝓉𝑒𝓍𝓉 𝓂𝑒𝓈𝓈𝒶𝑔𝑒 ↬ cheez

brendon: we won't be getting arrested, promise

brendon: you can hop fences, right?

brendon: KIDDING, of course.... unless you /can/........

brendon: let's go to wisconsin & see that movie

brie: hop fences? i doubt it. i'll start practicing soon though.

brie: we could do that.... but i'd rather stay in bed and watch the bachelor. wisconsin is too far, b.