I'm currently in my Red Dead phase and I plan on posting more content here so here's where you can find all the important stuff! I will be adding to this over time!
Character playlists
Javier Escuella
Kieran Duffy
Charles Smith
John Marston
Headcanons
Red Dead Headcanons
Kissing headcanons (Kieran, Charles, Javier)
Kissing headcanons pt.2?? (Dutch and John)
Kieran, Javier, Charles, and Dutch Headcanons
Touch Starved Kieran Hcs
Touch Started Charles Hcs
Befriending Kieran Duffy Hcs
Confession Shorts (Charles Smith)
Confession Shorts (Javier Esceulla)
Confession Shorts (Kieran Duffy)
Confession Shorts (Dutch Van Der Linde)
Confession Shorts (John Marston)
X reader shorts
Charles Smith
- Braiding is hair a03 Tumblr
Javier Escuella
- Tipsy Tussle
Kieran Duffy
-Stormy Nights
-Saddling Up
-Please Choose Me
Other Fics
- Fishing with friends? (A Kieran, Javier, and Charles short)
A/n: Final sort is here FINALLY!! Low-key lost motivation for it, but I pushed through and finished it! This version of Dutch is from the earlier chapters, so enjoy!! Also, sorry for any misspellings and such, I don't feel like reading it again lol
Word Count: 2.4k
You always looked up to Dutch. There were many things you liked about him, and vice versa. He was a strong, wise, and charming man. What was there not to like? You've been in the gang for a few months now, and his flattery hasn’t gone anywhere; in fact, it’s gotten more obvious to you and those around you. Everyone had suspicions about Dutch liking you, but you seemed to be the only one who didn’t guess it until much later. What at first was just his welcoming personality soon made you believe it was more than that. You were well aware of Dutch’s charm, but you never would’ve guessed you’d fall for it and him this hard. Every day, he’d flirt with you, showering you with compliments and small gifts. You always enjoyed it, but after a while, you found yourself flirting, staring, and thinking about him more often. He knew his charm was working on you, and in true Dutch nature, he had whipped up a small plan to confess his true feelings to you.
Night had fallen, and most reasonable people were heading to bed. You were dressed in pajamas and stopped by Pearson's wagon to get a sip of water before turning in after a long day. Your feet ached from how much you ran back and forth today, doing things in town and camp without a proper break. Now that it was night, you could finally relax, and relax you would, but not alone this night. As you trudge back to your tent, you can hear Dutch’s favorite record playing, the sound muffled by his tent walls. Since he seemed to be up, you decided to tell him goodnight. When you peeked into his tent, he was dressed in his red sleeping shirt and black pants, reading a book on the edge of his bed near his record player. Any downtime he had, he’d read books from his favorite author, so you weren’t surprised by his late-night reading. You quietly stood there for a minute, admiring how peaceful he looked as he read, but your presence wouldn’t go unnoticed for much longer. He turned the page of his book and shot you a glance and a smirk, like he had known you were standing there the whole time.
“Aren’t you going to say something?”
He said in a soft yet husky tone, closing his book partially and looking at you with that same smirk. Your face brightened at his response, and a soft laugh escaped your lips. You stepped into his tent, rubbing the back of your neck, feeling embarrassed for staring, but he didn't seem to mind. In fact, to him, the time you admired him set his heart ablaze. His eyes never shifted away from you as you inched closer; even dressed in pajamas, you had his undivided attention.
“ ‘m sorry, just wanted to say goodnight, that’s all.”
“ No need to apologize, my dear…Why sleep so early, hm? The night’s still young.”
He asked curiously, leaning back in bed slightly.
“Been on my feet all day…I can’t wait to sleep the night away heh..”
You said with a small yawn, your eyes heavy with tiredness. You were ready to curl up in bed and call it a night, but didn’t mind sparing a few minutes to say goodnight. You chatted with him every morning and night for the past few weeks. After talking, you both felt a similar warmth in your chest. Everyone knew Dutch had a soft spot for you, and now was no different. Hearing how tired you were and why you were so tired made him frown. His pout quickly shifted as an idea popped into his head. He leaned forward and extended his hand towards you with a soft smile and an even softer look in his eyes.
“How bout you sit with me for a bit? Let me read ta ya, always relaxes me, bet it would do the same for ya. How’s that sound?”
The way he spoke was enough to relax you. His voice was soft, yet still had a husky sound to it. It was like he was drawing you in. You stood there motionless at first, unsure if you should, but with a look like that in his eyes. A look of genuine concern and sweetness, how could you say no?
“ Hm…I guess I can spare a few more minutes.”
His soft smile shifted into a smirk, glad to hear you would stay. He shuffled back in bed and patted his thigh, calling you over. The thought of having him read to you didn't sound like a terrible idea at first, and it still wasn't but you couldn't help but feel a bit nervous. You and he have been alone a few times, but this felt different; it felt nerve-wracking. You stood frozen in place for a moment before you gathered the courage to fully step inside his tent and inch your way to his bed. His eyes followed your every step, only adding to your nervousness.
You went to sit down next to him, but his hand rested on the small of your back and guided you to sit in front of him. You didn't protest and comfortably sat in front of him. The feeling of his soft bed, his strong chest behind you, and his arms that loosely wrapped around you made your heart quicken. That tiredness you felt immediately left, and now you were hyper aware of each of his moves. Each of his breaths. Every little thing was now all you could focus on. His hands rested lightly on your lap, his book opened to the last page he read. His eyes studied how your body tensed subconsciously, finding it amusing and oddly endearing. He pressed his chest against your back a little more and looked over your shoulder so he could start reading.
“You alright? Ya seem a little…tense.”
He lightly teased, smirking down at you as if he didn't know he was the cause of this tension. You went to speak, but your words were caught in your throat. The way he talked to you and being so close to him made it impossible to focus on anything else but him. Still unable to speak, you just nodded and tried to relax, now focusing on the book. Another smirk found its way on his face, enjoying every second of this.
Soon enough, he began to read to you, and with each word he spoke, you could feel the bass in his tone. The more he read, the more you relaxed. Your body was still quite warm from how close he was, but now you found comfort from his touch, a newfound comfort. Your body leaned more against his chest, and he happily held you. While he read to you, his eyes found it hard to part from your face for too long. As if you alone didn’t have this man hooked, now seeing how you leaned into his grasp only made him want you more. He needed you. He had to have you. He passed the book to one hand and let the other rest on your thigh, unable to resist the urge to feel more of you. Something about how his rough hand rested so gently against your skin sent a warm flush through your body. His thumb lightly ruffled the fabric on your thigh while his eyes remained on his book for a little longer. He didn’t need to look at you to know how his touch made you feel; he could feel your warmth radiating all over your body.
What was supposed to be some casual reading turned into something more intimate. You both didn’t want to move away; you enjoyed his embrace, and he enjoyed having you in his arms. Though things were going well, you wondered why he acted this way with you. If he perchance felt the same as you, or if this was only supposed to be casual. When he went to turn the next page, you rested your hand over his, stopping him in his tracks.
Softly, you nipped your lip then looked up at him, catching the look in his eyes. A look you were very familiar with, but it felt more intense than before. It was like he was trying to hide his true feelings from you, but did poorly at it. Your lips parted, and yet no words came out. From his gaze alone, he had you in a trance, a wonderfully blissful trance. When you noticed you were staring, you quickly shook your head and cleared your throat, remembering what you were trying to say to him.
“ I’d be a fool if I said I ain’t been noticing how things between us have…changed. Is there any particular reason why…?”
You asked between small breaths. With all his advances, gifts, and more, you were bound to fall for him, and fall you did. He has never left your mind since you met; everything he’s done for and to you forever lingers in your mind. Spending so many sleepless nights thinking of him and if he felt the same. He must have from how much he pursued you. You enjoyed this thing you both had, but you couldn’t help but wonder if this was the start of something better or would remain this way.
Dutch, however, was a bit surprised by your sudden question. Because of your question, he now had to confess instead of later, like he planned. He wasn’t complaining, though. His eyes traced your features tenderly as he took your hand, gently stroking his thumb against it.
“ I had planned on telling ya…guess you’re just putting me on the spot, huh?”
He said with a deep chuckle. He no longer cared about reading to you; he just wanted to talk with you. Tell you his true feelings instead of having them hide behind playful flirts.
“ I like you, that probably ain't no shocker to someone as smart as you, but it’s the truth. You’ve been on my mind since I first laid eyes on ya… you're a sight to see, and if I can, I’d love to keep you around me more.”
He confessed. He had such a way with words; how could you not feel giddy after hearing that? The warmth in your chest spread throughout your body as you took in his words. Your intuition led you to believe he had feelings for you, but actually hearing it was even better than you imagined. There you sat, mouth agape as you processed his words, your grip on his hand tightening ever so slightly. The many times you and he conversed, you never felt so flustered. The redness in your cheeks and the look in your eyes betrayed you, letting Dutch know exactly how you felt in this moment. It filled him with great pride knowing he made you all red in the face and speechless. Thanks to the privacy of this tent, he didn’t have to keep his hands off you, like being out in the open would have stopped him. You went to speak, but he stopped you. With his opposite hand, he carefully grabbed your chin, leaning even closer to you to the point where you could feel his breath and smell hints of the cigar he smoked. Your breath shuddered from his grasp and closeness, feeling smothered in his presence in the best way possible.
“ Are you going to answer or…?”
He asked teasingly, his eyes flickering to your lips for a moment too long, then returning to your face. You heard him loud and clear, but you couldn't form a coherent sentence. You tried so hard, but nothing would come out, and in truth, Dutch loved every second of it. He leaned in more; your lips barely touched, but your body begged to feel his lips against yours and vice versa. His thumb gently rubbed your chin while his other hand wrapped around your lower back. Your back involuntarily arched from his touch, making you move even closer to him.
The tension between you both was thick and heavy like morning fog. You may have been quiet, but Dutch knows just what you wanted. No, what you needed. Without another word, his lips pressed firmly but sweetly against yours. The moment he did, your body melted further into his grasp. His lips were plush and his breath tasted of old whiskey, but you couldn't care less. You shifted your body until you fully faced him and sat in his lap, not daring to pull away.
Dutch’s lips curled into a smirk from your movement, enjoying how reactive you were around him. His grip tightened around your sides, and the intensity of the kiss rose. You both held the kiss and let your hands lightly rest on Dutch's strong chest. It thrilled you both to finally do something instead of flirting with each other for weeks. This was the first time your lips touched, yet you were already addicted to it, addicted to him. As good as this felt, Dutch pulled away, still having his hand resting gently on your chin. His smirk grew wider, and there was hunger in his gaze, making it even harder for you to hide your attraction towards him.
“So…You do like me?”
He chuckled softly while rubbing small circles on your waist. His words sounded less like a question and more like a confirmation. He knew you liked him. You didn’t have to say it; he could see it in your eyes and taste it on your tongue. You did like him, and he liked you too.
“ I do..I like you a lot, Dutch.”
You said softly as your hands rubbed his chest a bit. Hearing you finally say that you liked him made his face brighten. He lightly nipped his lip and leaned in for a quick kiss. What was supposed to be a quick stop turned into something much better. You considered turning in, but neither of you truly wanted to part ways yet, so you slowly turned around in his lap and grabbed his book, opening it back to the last page he read to you. You then gave him the book back and leaned against his chest.
“ A few more pages couldn’t hurt…”
You said with a soft smile. He loved any excuse to share his favorite books with anyone willing to listen, and now he could read from his favorite author to his favorite person. So he rested his arms back in your lap and began to read to you once more. You thought sleeping your night away was the best way to end your day, but this was so much better.
And there we have it!! The final confession fic! Still working on the charthur fic dw!!
I have not forgotten about the charthur, I am currently working on it right now! I will say for this fic, there will be minimal dialogue between Charles and Arthur! I'm also working on the last confession fic! I've gotten into Deltarune as of late, and it's so hard to focus on anything but that-
Could I request Kieran being friends (or partners) with a reader who’s really funny? Like Kieran is tied to the tree and notices them always making everybody laugh, and eventually reader starts trying to even cheer him up.
Thank you for your request! Also, thank you for 100 followers. I'm so glad you guys enjoy my content! This is a little shorter, but I hope you enjoy!!
Being tied to a tree and constantly ignored or picked on was as insufferable as it sounds. In Kieran's case, it was a living nightmare, but you surprisingly made his nightmare a little bearable.
While tied to the tree in camp, he often noticed how you always made the gang members laugh. Even gang members like Bill and Micah seemed to chuckle at your jokes. You had a bubbly and funny personality that everyone seemed to enjoy, especially on boring days. Though Kieran wasn't in on the jokes, anytime he heard your voice or laughed, he'd feel a little less anxious.
You weren't the most fond of Kieran when he first arrived at camp, but over time, you noticed how much he'd stare at you from afar, especially when you were just goofing off with the others. You'd catch him smiling and quietly laughing at your jokes. He didn't have to tell you he enjoyed your jokes; it was clear to you.
At first, you had no intentions of getting to know him, but over time, you felt sympathetic towards him and his current state. You found yourself looking at him when you told jokes nearby. Seeing his small smiles and laughs made you smile, and slowly gave you the confidence to speak to him.
When you approached him with food and water and a look of genuine interest, he froze up. He was already pretty anxious, so when you approached him, he stuttered a lot and averted your gaze, but after offering him food and water, he visibly relaxed. While he ate, you said a few puns which made him laugh, almost choking on his food and water, but nonetheless, he enjoyed your jokes. You were one of the few people who seemed to care about him in some way, and that made him warm up to you quick.
After the first time you both talked, he thought it would be a one-time thing, but soon learned it would be a daily occurrence. Sometime during the day, you'd sneak him some food and make him laugh, whether it was by telling jokes or funny stories. You both looked forward to this, especially him. Your simple jokes and funny personality brightened his grim days. He never came out and said it, but through his laughs and smiles, you knew he enjoyed it.
This routine went on for a while, up until he was untied from the tree and joined the gang properly. Now he returned your many favours by trying to make you laugh too. His jokes were more like silly dad jokes, but they were very humorous. Each time he made you laugh, he beamed with joy. Your relationship with him only seemed to grow the moment he was untied from the tree, and both of you looked forward to it.
Oof I’m a soft dom and certain ideas have been getting to me. Can I request hcs for m!reader being Kieran’s emotional support? Like- holding him at the end of the day, providing comfort, all that sappy shit?
YES THE HELL YOU CAN!! I've been itching to make more Kieran headcannons, so thanks for asking!
Kerian wasn't comfortable with most folks in camp, especially the men but you were truly the only man he felt comfortable around. The only person he could call on for help whenever and always get it.
Kieran isn't one to ask for physical or mental comfort, but you've known Kieran long enough to know when he needs someone to be there for him. He'd rarely ask for comfort because you'd always be there to help him when he needed it.
Being the camp's "outcast" was hard on him, and he always went above and beyond to fit in. Most days it was hard to do, but you were always there at the end of the day to make him feel wanted. You'd praise him for his work or just sit and talk with him about the day.
You'd find him on the outskirts of camp sitting alone, doing some wood whittling to pass the time and distracting himself. Without a word, you'd sit by him, leaning against him, and resting your hand on his knee with a soft squeeze. Kieran thought he wasn't the type to like physical touch, but that was a lie. His body melts under your touch instantly, and all worries he had for those moments disappear. He often couldn't get the words out but just having you there made him feel better.
On days when he couldn't seem to sleep from his anxieties keeping him up, he'd find you and quietly stand near you. You told him many times before that he didn't have to ask for a hug when he needed it, but still, he wasn't quite comfortable just doing it. He was afraid you'd push him away, so he'd stand near you until you noticed. By the look on his face, you could tell what he needed, and you gave it to him. He'd bury his face into your chest or neck and just hold onto you until you pulled away, which you never did first. You knew what he needed, so you were more than happy to hug him all night if he wanted.
For Kieran, his anxiety and worries made his body unnecessarily tense. He'd tried to act like he was alright when others were around, but when it was just the two of you, he didn't bother to pretend. He felt comfortable being fully vulnerable with you; you were his safe space. On days he couldn't get his real feelings out, you'd happily give him back and shoulder rubs, working the knots out of his shoulder and making his tense body relax. Massaging him always seemed to work, and soon he'd find himself ranting to you about his troubles and day.
Kieran wasn't comfortable with physical touch when he first joined the gang and still isn't fully okay with it, but you were his only exception. Your touch and words were his remedy for a troubling day or night. He especially loves it when you play in his hair. That is one of his favorite ways to be comforted. It was so simple yet did wonders for him. If he was too deep in his head, just playing in his hair for a few minutes would cheer him up and calm him down.
Self-regulation rarely seemed to work for him, and you learned that early on, so you stepped in and gladly volunteered to ground him when he needed it. You'd take him by his shaky hands and hold them tight, speaking softly as you reassured him that things would be alright. You'd hold him tightly in your arms while playing with his hair. You'd take him a little ways outside of camp so you and he could sit together without a worry, and you'd happily listen to him or just quietly comfort him. He never had to tell you what he needed because you always knew just what he needed, and he deeply appreciated you for it.
He cries often. He already thought he was weak from his past and the constant reminders in camp, but you never made him feel that way. When he felt overwhelmed by his emotions, at first, he'd hide and cry to himself, but now that he's got you, he'll ask you if you both could go somewhere, usually your tent. He feels bad for asking and disturbing you, but you'd quickly stop what you're doing and help him. You and he would sit in your bed while he cried quietly against you. Your constant assurance made him feel comfortable enough to cry against you without feeling overly embarrassed or worried.
When getting to know how to properly comfort Kieran, you tried a few things, one of the things that surprised you was how much he liked getting the top of his head kissed. For him, it was somewhat nostalgic and made him feel at peace. You weren't expecting him to like it so much, but on hard days for him, anytime you both had a moment alone, you'd sneak in a head kiss. His mood would brighten from it every time without fail. Almost any type of affection did that for him, but that was secretly his true favorite types of affection from you.
lowkey forgot to post this but here you go Kieran lovers!
A/n: Here we go John lovers! This version of John is him in the earlier chapters so I made this one a little angsty! Enjoy!
Word Count: 2.2k
John and you had a unique relationship. You both had feelings for each other, but never openly expressed them. You have a few times, but John didn’t, or tried to but gave up. The few times you confessed, he claimed he “wasn’t looking for something serious” or something similar. You and he would flirt with each other, kiss, and do everything people in relationships would do, but without the title. You were okay with this for a while, but over time, things changed. John became distant from you but wouldn’t tell you why; he just brushed it off as if he were busy. But you knew it was more than that. After a while, you kept your distance from him, even if it hurt to do it. You knew he had some sort of feelings for you, but weren’t sure what they were anymore. You thought he no longer had feelings for you, but that was far from the truth. He still liked you, and the feeling intensified with each passing day. He thought his crush would blow over, but that proved to be very wrong. He tried ignoring his feelings, ignoring you, but it only made his feelings grow. Now your “friendship” was reduced to awkward “hey’s” and long stares from across camp. You both still had feelings for one another, but his distance dulled your feelings. John knew he had to confess to you before it was too late, but each time he tried, the words couldn’t come out. His frustration slowly grew, and one day he finally found the courage to tell you.
Today was uneventful for you, so you spent most of your time in camp either tending to chores or passing the time with some of your favorite hobbies. Like you, John was in camp most of the day, but currently he was keeping watch. Like most days, you both were actively avoiding each other. Any time you passed each other, you’d exchange looks, but nothing more. For both of you, it was almost unbearable; you both wanted to speak to each other but couldn’t find the right words. The tension felt so thick that you couldn’t breathe near each other. While John stood watch, he couldn’t help but think about you. For weeks, he’s been trying to confess, but he couldn’t get his words out. He felt stupid for letting his feelings make him act like this, but he wasn’t sure how else to act. He grew aggravated with himself for how he was acting. For one, not being honest, and two, for treating you like this. He knew his behavior was pushing you away, and if he didn’t confess soon, things would only get worse.
When his turn for keeping watch was over, he went to look for you. Thankfully, you were in your tent, doing some journaling. Before entering your tent, he stood outside, already feeling nervous and wanting to chicken out. Unlike the other times, however, he wasn’t going to. Maybe you felt the same, but he was sick of this awkwardness between you both. He knew it was his fault for this, and that guilt slowly but surely consumed him. He couldn’t treat you like his other problems and ignore them; ignoring you was a dumb decision, and only made him more sure about his feelings for you.
“Hey, it's uh- It’s John. Can I come in for a sec?”
John announced. If it wasn’t for the fact that he was peaking through the tent flaps at you, there was a strong chance you would’ve said no. You kept writing but briefly looked at him through the crack in your tent door. You weren’t sure what he wanted, and frankly, you weren't too interested in hearing what he had to say. After weeks of being ignored by him, his sudden urge to talk to you directly made you curious, so you decided to let him in.
“Yeah sure.”
You said while gesturing him inside and looking back at your journal. He quietly stepped in, taking in your tent and the things you’ve collected over the years, then looked at you. You weren’t paying him much mind, but he was quite nervous. He stood awkwardly near you with his hands behind his back to hide his fidgeting. It’s only been a minute since he came in, and he has already thought about leaving. He wasn’t sure what to say, but thankfully, you broke the awkward silence.
“Something ya need or..?”
You asked, still looking down at your journal and writing.
“Uh yeah I need ta tell ya something..”
He admitted. His words came out shaky, and he fidgeted more. He stepped a little closer towards you, looking down at his feet while he attempted to confess. This time was no different than the other times; each time he tried to speak, the words got caught in his throat. Unlike before, it wasn’t just his nerves making him mess up; it was your disinterest. You only looked at him once since he stepped into your tent, and even now, it didn’t even seem like you were listening to him. To him, it seemed like you weren’t listening, but that wasn’t the case. You didn’t look directly at him, but you saw him from the corner of your eye. You noticed his nervous demeanor and the way he looked at you. You didn’t know what to expect from him, but you had a hunch. You didn’t say anything because you wanted to wait and hear if your hunch was true, but John still couldn’t get his words out.
As if things couldn’t get more awkward between you both, now you were both in the same room, unable to talk or look at each other. You didn’t want to rush him, but you were tired of this cycle with him. He’d say he wants to talk, and nothing would ever come out. You were patient before, but that patience was wearing thin. After a minute or so longer, you stopped writing and looked at him. You stood up from your desk and closed the distance between you and him. He froze up from your sudden moves, and looked at you, his gaze filled with uncertainty, and yours heavy with annoyance.
“Look, if you got something ta say, just spit it out or leave John. I ain’t gonna keep entertaining you if you keep wasting my time.”
Though that’s what you said, that wasn’t how you truly felt. Even with his distant behavior, part of you still loved him. Everything you did with him and have been through didn’t just magically mean nothing to you; even now, you find yourself thinking of him many times throughout the day and night. You might not have been official, but the relationship you had with him at the start meant a lot to you. But as much as you still cared about him, you grew tired of him acting this way.
John, in most cases, was quick to say something snappy or disagree, but he didn’t this time. He agreed with you. He knew what he was doing wasn’t fair to you, but he didn’t want to admit that to you until now. He wasn’t one to be completely honest, but his reason for being so distant was that he was terrified. He’s never felt such intense emotions until he met you; you had him thinking about things he wasn’t used to thinking about, like relationships, the future, and more. He found himself wanting to take things to the next level with you, and that frightened him. That feeling was new for him, and it worried him, and instead of welcoming it, he tried to shut it out. He tried ignoring you in hopes that the feeling would go away. He wasn’t the settling-down kind of guy, so why did he feel that way about you? He wasn’t sure for a long time, but he realized after being away from you that he never wanted to do that again.
“..I know I ain’t the best man, I’ve got Arthur…and you to remind me of that. But if you let me, I can be better…”
His voice was a little less shaky than before, but you could hear the seriousness in his voice. For the first time, it seemed like he wanted to be with you and was making a proper effort, but you weren't sure how to feel. You were happy he was serious, but the pain of being ignored for that long was still there. Your tongue dragged against your teeth as that annoyance in your eyes shifted to an unreadable emotion.
“Let you? Ya treat me like a damn stranger for god knows how long and now you suddenly have a change of heart. You want me to say yes with joy? You had plenty of time to be better, but you wasted it.”
You said, your words hitting him hard, but they were all true. Even if they were true, John felt his frustration growing a little. It was foolish to expect things to go well; he knew that, but felt differently.
“That ain't what I meant-”
He said firmly, sighing a bit afterwards to calm his nerves.
“I ain’t expecting you to act like shit ain’t happen, but I do want to be better. I like you more than you think. I really do, and I was a fool for acting like I didn’t for so long. You can call me whatever you want, you can curse me out and all, but I’ll stay here if you want me to.”
It was hard to act like his words didn't affect you. You let out a short and quick huff as you stood there, unsure of your emotions. You weren't sure what you wanted to say or how you felt. It was like your heart was in a knot. You both stood there staring at each other, feeling the same feelings. Anxiety, love, hate, and everything in between. John thought getting his true feelings out would make him feel better, but honestly, he felt more scared. Scared of your reaction. Worried he was too late. Afraid he messed up this time, and there was no fixing it. He’s never been truly scared to lose someone until you. His eyes shifted from your face to the ground for a moment, feeling a bit overwhelmed, but when he looked back at you, he was even more nervous. Tears welled in your eyes and softly trickled down your face as you stared at him, your quivering lips pulled into a frown. Without another word, you stepped forward and pressed your tear-stained face into his chest and weakly hit it.
“I-I really hate you, John…”
You mumbled into his chest, not meaning it, but that was the only words your lips could form. You quietly sobbed against him, letting all the built-up emotions you had pour out of you. John wasn’t mad about your response; if anything, he understood you completely. He hated how he treated you; instead of just saying how he felt, he made you think you didn’t mean anything to him, which was the complete opposite. The moments you shared meant the world to him, yet he took you for granted. John stood there for a moment with his hands awkwardly at his sides, but soon he hesitantly hugged you. His slightly shaky hands wrapped around you and pulled you closer to him. You didn’t pull away, you didn’t have it in you to move, nor did you want to. You leaned into his grasp and wrapped your arms around him tightly. Being distant for so long, you both forgot how good each other's arms felt. You clung to him like you were scared to let go, and John did the same while resting his chin on the top of your head. You both were quiet, but both knew this was needed. No awkwardness, no distance, no weird stares, just you both in each other's arms.
After a moment, he pulled back and looked down at you tenderly. Your eyes were still glossy from tears and still filled with a mix of sadness and relief. He lifted his hand and gently wiped away your tears, feeling guilty for your pain and tears. You pressed your cheek against his hand, still craving his warmth. You held eye contact with him for a few seconds longer than before, and suddenly kissed him. A small noise came from him at your sudden actions, but he didn’t pull away. He almost forgot how good your lips felt pressed against his. As quickly as you kissed him, he quickly kissed back, cupping your cheeks in his hands. You kissed each other like it would be the last time you could. It was passionate, it was tender, it was emotional, it was perfect. As much as you wanted to keep kissing him, you pulled away, a small string of spit briefly connecting you to him. When you pulled away, he looked a little confused but very red in the face. You rested your hand over his and squeezed it. The tears finally seemed to stop, and you no longer had such sad eyes.
“I…I’ll let you…but don’t do me like that again, John…please don’t..”
“I won’t. I promise..”
He replied, kissing your forehead softly and pulling you back into a hug. Were things completely better? Far from it, but things would slowly get better for both of you.
Just a little heads up johns confession fic will be a bit angsty! As much as I love the lovey dovey stuff in the other pics I think angst would be perfect for John's fic! Sorry for the huge gaps between fics the motivation comes and goes as it pleases but I I will post the fic soon!!
How I think my favorite red dead redemption characters smell!
A/n: these are my personal opinions, so if you don't like em, that's fine! I miss doing headcannons like this so I'll try to do them more often!
Kieran Duffy
I love Kieran, but I don't think he'd smell that good. He'd always smell like a horse, a warm, fuzzy, and slightly dusty smell! When he doesn't smell like horses ( which is practically never), he smells like ginseng or slightly sweating.
Javier Escuella
He has a very earthy smell to him! We know he takes a lot of care of his appearance, so I think he'd smell of mint and sage! Also, since he forges, I think he keeps certain fragrant herbs on him so he always smells good!
He takes the "ladies love a man who smells good" thing very seriously.
Charles Smith
I JUST KNOW HE ALWAYS SMELLS GOOD!! I think he too, tries to take good care of his appearance, but naturally, he always has a floral smell to him. Scents like chamomile, sandalwood, and vanilla. He takes good care of his hair, so there's always a hint of shea butter.
John Marston
HE STINKSSSSS! Kidding but I don't think he smells amazing- I think he has a very musky smell to him, something like dirt or leather! When he does put in an effort with higene I think he'd smell like pine needles or cedarwood.
Dutch Van Der Linde
Just like Charles he always smells good!! He has a very cold and distinct smell, one that draws attention to him like tobacco, lavender, and jasmine! Also hints of vanilla! He takes excellent care when it comes to his appearance so I know he smells rich.
How I think my favorite red dead redemption characters smell!
A/n: these are my personal opinions, so if you don't like em, that's fine! I miss doing headcannons like this so I'll try to do them more often!
Kieran Duffy
I love Kieran, but I don't think he'd smell that good. He'd always smell like a horse, a warm, fuzzy, and slightly dusty smell! When he doesn't smell like horses ( which is practically never), he smells like ginseng or slightly sweating.
Javier Escuella
He has a very earthy smell to him! We know he takes a lot of care of his appearance, so I think he'd smell of mint and sage! Also, since he forges, I think he keeps certain fragrant herbs on him so he always smells good!
He takes the "ladies love a man who smells good" thing very seriously.
Charles Smith
I JUST KNOW HE ALWAYS SMELLS GOOD!! I think he too, tries to take good care of his appearance, but naturally, he always has a floral smell to him. Scents like chamomile, sandalwood, and vanilla. He takes good care of his hair, so there's always a hint of shea butter.
John Marston
HE STINKSSSSS! Kidding but I don't think he smells amazing- I think he has a very musky smell to him, something like dirt or leather! When he does put in an effort with higene I think he'd smell like pine needles or cedarwood.
Dutch Van Der Linde
Just like Charles he always smells good!! He has a very cold and distinct smell, one that draws attention to him like tobacco, lavender, and jasmine! Also hints of vanilla! He takes excellent care when it comes to his appearance so I know he smells rich.
A/n: Finally, I finished it! Again, sorry if this is a little ooc. Hope this is worth the wait. Next will be John, whose fic I haven't started on.....-
Word Count: 2.3k
Charles had only been a part of the gang for a few months, and in that short amount of time, most of the gang members grew fond of him, including you. Things were a little strange when you started to get to know him, but over time, you both grew closer, forming a great bond. Charles didn’t verbalize his feelings often, but he did little things that helped you understand how he felt about you. You’d find trinkets and gifts in your tent, ranging from little wood carvings to arrows or plants. For a while, you had no idea who was behind these gifts, but after some asking around, Arthur informed you it was Charles's doing. He did the same with Arthur; that was his way of thanking someone. Finding out he left the little trinkets made them even more sentimental to you. His strength, his admiration for nature, his kindness towards others, and his courage were just a few of the many things that intrigued you about him. Your fondness for him slowly turned into romantic feelings, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him. Your feelings lingered for many months, and what was just a small crush turned to utter infatuation. Little did you know, these feelings weren’t a one-sided thing.
Charles, too, had developed feelings for you, but was great at concealing them for the most part. His gift giving with you was becoming more common, he found himself wanting to be closer to you physically, and most noticeable was how often he asked you to hunt or just ride with him. You were oblivious to his feelings, assuming he was just growing more comfortable with you, which was true but not the whole truth. With each passing day, his feelings intensified, and it grew harder to hide. Never has anyone made him feel this way, and he wanted more of it. He craved more of your presence, to the point he felt bad for having you on his mind so much. Sitting alone with you was always enjoyable, but he found himself wanting to hear you talk more, which surprised him. His calm and collected demeanor became slightly awkward, especially when you were both alone. He, too, believed you didn’t have feelings for him, and you just acted that way with everyone, but he could no longer hide his feelings from you.
It was evening in camp. You were helping yourself to another cup of coffee, after spending most of the morning cleaning, you needed a small break. As you sipped your coffee in silence, letting your mind wander, you didn’t notice Charles approaching you. It was only until Charles tapped your shoulder that you noticed him. Startled, you spun around and looked up at him, shocked at first, but seeing it was just him made you smile.
“Hey Charles, still ain’t used to how quiet you walk pfft..”
You said jokingly, smiling up at him, and he gave you a small grin in return.
“Sorry, you care to hunt with me?”
He asked, his eyes still trained on you with a calm yet alluring gaze. You assumed he asked you to hunt so often because he thought you were a good hunter. The thought of him thinking you were a good hunter made you happy, so you agreed to go with him. After you finished your coffee, you gathered your hunting gear and changed into a proper hunting outfit. When you were finished, you met Charles by the horses and headed out. One thing you enjoyed most about hanging out with him was how, even in complete silence, you both enjoyed each other's presence. There was something oddly comforting about sitting in silence with him. Words didn’t need to be exchanged all the time; you both could understand each other in ways others couldn’t. Charles was hard to read, but lately, you noticed a shift in his behavior. It was subtle, but noticeable. You thought you were thinking too much into things, but it was too hard trying to ignore the changes. How he spoke to you and the look in his eyes when he listened to you felt intense. Not in a bad way, but definitely in a way that made you flustered. You couldn’t help but glance at him as you rode together, admiring his features and focused expression. A peaceful hunting trip with him was just what you needed on this slow day.
Soon enough, you arrived at the hunting spot. A nice area, a little way from camp, filled with trees and plenty of animals to hunt. You and Charles hopped off your horses and took your hunting weapons. You had a rifle, and Charles had his bow.
“We’re hunting deer today, use your bow.”
Charles informed. For most hunts, you used your rifle, but recently Charles taught you how to use a bow. However, you left yours behind this time around. A nervous grin swept your face as you glanced at your horse, then back at him. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to understand what that look meant. Charles let out a small sigh and then approached you, not showing any signs of being upset, but still, it made you a little nervous. You watched as he stepped closer until his large frame towered over you. Instead of shaming you, he rested his hand on your shoulder and gave you a soft smile.
“We’ll just use mine, keep your rifle just in case.”
He assured, letting his hand and gaze linger on your face a few seconds longer before pulling away and walking towards the clearing. A warm tingle shot down your body from the sensation of his hand on your shoulder. Your eyes widen, and your face darkens in color, feeling flattered by his simple actions. It was hard to ignore how his slight behavior change made you feel, but you pushed it aside and followed after him. You both walked through the clearing, you quietly watching him, and he observing the surroundings for the perfect spot to hunt. Minutes of walking were soon rewarded once Charles ushered you to a bush to hide behind with the right amount of coverage and a perfect sight of a group of deer. You quickly moved to his side and kneeled beside him, looking at the deer. They were several feet away but within shooting distance. Charles pulled out his bow, but instead of using it, he passed it to you.
“Here, you take the shot.”
He whispered. You hesitated, not too confident in your bow skills, but you nodded and took the bow and arrow, aiming it towards the deer but not yet releasing the arrow. You took a long, deep breath and aimed it at one of the deer as it grazed on some grass. Just as your fingers began to loosen, Charles stopped you. He leaned closer to you, bringing one of his arms around you to help steady your hand and raise it slightly. His chest pressed gently against your arm, yet his eyes never faltered from the deer.
“Aim higher for a clean kill.”
He whispered. His deep, husky voice made your heart race more than it already was. This was the closest he’s been to you, and it was nerve-wracking. You could hear his soft breaths, feel his strong chest and arms, and even some strands of his hair brush against your cheek. How can I focus like this?! You thought to yourself, trying your best not to shake more. You took another deep breath and closed your eyes, this time to calm your fast heart and put your focus back on the deer. Just as quickly as you started shaking, you soon stopped. You reopened your eyes and regained your focus, ready to shoot the deer. Seeing this, Charles pulled away from you and watched the deer. Once he moved, you pulled your arrow back, and on the count of three, you released your arrow. It zipped across the field, and just like Charles said, it was a clean kill. You smiled brightly at the sight, and so did Charles. He gave you a pat on the back, then smiled at you.
“Good job, I’ll go grab it.”
He said as he got up and went for the deer. When he left, your eyes followed him, happy about the kill and that he helped you. Charles was always quick to assist you when it came to day-to-day things and hunting, but this was different. It felt more intimate than other times. You stood up from your spot, but instead of following him, you stood there, trying to make sense of his odd behavior. Wondering if you should ask him about it or not. Before you could make your decision, he was already heading back with the deer. So you pushed your question aside and waited for him quietly so you both could walk to the horses together. Once you both made it back to the horses, Charles placed the deer on the back of your horse, tying it down and securing it. You approached your horse and gave them a gentle pat, getting ready to hop on, but again, Charles stopped you. Not by touch or words but with the look in his eyes. He stared at you, looking deep in thought about something yet not quite ready to speak.
"Everything okay?”
You asked, yet he didn’t respond. A few more moments of silence passed before he spoke honestly.
“I ask you to hunt with me often because you're a good hunter and I enjoy your company. More than I think I should..”
He paused. Taking a small step closer to you, looking away from you.
“I like you…as in more than friends. And I want to be more than friends with you, if that's what you want too.”
He said. His tone remained neutral as he confessed, but from his body language, you could tell he was nervous. His hands fidgeted with the end of his shirt, and he couldn't hold eye contact. You’ve never seen Charles flirt or confess to anyone before, but you didn’t expect him to be so…direct. You were stunned, to say the least. There you stood, eyes wide and mouth hanging slightly open. You had a slight suspicion of him liking you, but didn’t expect it to be true or for it to happen like this. While your emotions ran rampant through your brain, Charles patiently waited for you to say something. Silently thinking, he said too much or said something wrong.
“Sorry, I ain't good with this uhm…I want to date you. If you want to date me, too. fuck.. ”
He stammered out. He wasn’t experienced with confessing, but he was trying his best. Before he could go on, you let out a small laugh. Finding his attempt sweet and a little funny.
“No, no, it's fine! I just…wasn’t expecting it, honestly. But I do like you too, have been for a while. And I would like to date you, too.”
Your heart thumped so loudly you were sure he could hear. Hearing that you reciprocate the feelings made him smile a bit more; it brought him peace knowing the person he felt so strongly about shared the same feeling. His gaze softened, and his face reddened ever so slightly. When you finally looked back at him and saw his expression, your brain short-circuited again. The tenderness in his gaze made you smile widely. You quickly covered your smile and hid your face from him, not wanting him to see how much his smile affected you. While keeping your face hidden, you took a few steps towards him. He stood there, watching as you then buried your face into his chest, trying to hide how flustered he was making you. Startled by your actions, he remained there, awkwardly stiff and unsure of what to do or say. After some contemplation, he hesitantly wrapped his arms around you and rested his chin on top of your head.
“You alright?”
He whispered, still not quite sure what to say.
“Yeah, yeah, just uhm, flustered- Very flustered-”
You said, your voice sounding muffled from his firm hug. He couldn’t help but chuckle at your response; it made him relax, knowing he didn’t make you uncomfortable. He continued to hold you, enjoying how you felt in his arms and vice versa. You were surprised he hugged you, but the feeling of his arms around you made your quick beating heart slow. Leisurely, you wrapped your arms around his sides, pulling him closer to you and indulging in his natural floral scent. His body shivered from your touch, but he didn’t pull away; instead, his grip slightly tightened. This hug lasted just a few seconds, but to you both it felt much longer; it felt well needed. As much as you both wanted this to last a bit longer, you had to return to camp. Right before Charles pulled away from you, he placed a faint kiss on the top of your head, thinking you wouldn’t notice.
“Let's head back, yeah?”
He said, pulling away from you with both his hands still on your sides. He looked down at you with that same soft gaze, giving you a small smile before reluctantly pulling away to hop on Tamia. Your hand retreated to your head, feeling the faint sensation of his kiss, almost thinking he didn’t, from how normal he acted afterwards. Your already red face somehow got darker as you reminisced on the feeling.
“You coming?”
Charles said, breaking your train of thought instantly.
“Y-yeah right behind you!”
You shouted, shaking your head and hopping on your horse, riding alongside Charles back to camp with a nice deer for Pearson's stew. /You were always happy at the end of your hunting trips with him, but this was by far your favorite trip yet. Knowing your crush had feelings for you, too, and wanted to date you seemed like a far-fetched dream, but today it became a reality.
A/n: Finally, here's Javier's part! The next part will be for Charles, but it might be a while, got a few things I want to change.
Word Count: 1.7k
There was never a dull moment between you and Javier. You’ve been in the gang for a while, and you’ve been friends with Javier almost as long. Being friends with him for so long had its upsides. You always had a reliable, caring, protective, and funny person in your corner, but that also meant there was a possibility feelings could sprout, and they did. You were oblivious to Javier’s feelings for a while, writing them off as “him being him,” but what started as playful jokes started to sound more serious. Not only did he flirt with you more often, but his physical behavior changed, too. He seemed to hover around you more, finding any excuse to touch you and letting his touches linger far longer than usual. You’d be a liar to say his actions didn’t affect you, but you didn’t want to read too deep into things. You did love him and this friendship, but you didn’t want to ruin it by overthinking his behavior changes and assuming he liked you too. So you kept your feelings to yourself, but Javier, on the other hand, couldn’t. Keeping his true feelings about you to himself for so long only made him yearn for you more. He may have been a terrible flirt, but he had another way to tell you how he truly felt.
The sun had just set in camp, however, you and Javier were having a drink together at the scout campfire, enjoying each other's company and sharing whatever stories came to mind. This was common for you both: hanging out with each other after a hard day. On those days when you were so mentally and physically done with the day, you looked forward to a drink with your favorite person in the world. It was simple, yet this was all you needed to feel better on hard days. Like you, Javier loved these moments with you just as much or even more. He loved hearing you laugh at his terrible jokes, seeing you smile, hearing your voice, even the way you looked at him. He could get drunk from your presence alone and never tire of it.
On this particular night, you both were having a few drinks like always, Javier having a few more than you. You were pretty beat, but couldn’t resist a few minutes alone with him. While he rambled on about whatever came to mind, you quietly listened to him, trying to make sense of the words he so often slurred together. You wanted to stay up longer, but your body grew more sluggish by the second.
“Mm…Hey, Javi, I think I’m going to turn …I’m bout ready to pass out pfft. See you tomorrow.”
You said with a slight mumble, yawning as you pulled yourself up from your seat to walk away. Before you could start walking, he stopped you, his fingers wrapping tightly around your hand, preventing you from moving further. When you looked back at him, his eyes were locked on you, filled with desperation.
“Mm..Wait mi vida…Not yet. I have something for you.”
He said, not daring to take his eyes off you. At first, you thought it was just the alcohol making him so bold, but your intuition told you otherwise. You hesitated for a moment, but decided to stay longer.
“..Okay, I can spare a few extra minutes.”
You said, slowly sitting back down. He smiled warmly at you, letting his thumb tenderly rub the back of your hand before releasing it and reaching for something else. His guitar. He pulled it up from the ground and rested it in his lap, preparing to play. It wasn’t uncommon for Javier to play his guitar, but you were curious why he wanted to play only to you, and what he could want to give you that had to do with a song. He was pretty bashful from all the drinking, but mostly from you. The look in your eyes had such control over his emotions at times that he couldn’t calm his heart. But he did his best, not wanting to ruin this moment. He took a long, deep breath and began to play.
Everyone loved it when he played, but this time it seemed different. The way he played seemed more focused and less carefree; his eyes were glued to the guitar for a few seconds longer before he eventually looked back at you, his gaze filled with tenderness. His drunken behavior seemed to disappear in a matter of seconds. You leaned forward against the table, still not taking your eyes off him, as you started to piece together what song he was singing. Thanks to him, you learned some Spanish; it wasn’t perfect, but it was enough to understand him and recognise this song. It was a classic Spanish love song. Soon he began to sing, so clearly and beautifully that you almost forgot he was drunk. The passion in his voice as he sang to you made your heart flutter. You couldn’t help but sway alongside him as he sang to you. His eyes stayed glued to your face, almost like he couldn’t pull away, and in a way, he couldn’t. Seeing you smile and listening made his heart soar above the moon and stars.
His voice had you in a daze for a while, but soon it didn’t take you long to put two and two together. How he sang each word, how he looked at you, how his body shifted closer to you, those subtle details helped you figure out that what he wanted to give you was this confession. You kept a cool exterior, but internally, you were a mess. For months, you’ve tried to convince yourself that he didn’t have feelings for you, and finally, when you thought you had convinced yourself he didn’t, he decided to confess his feelings. As he sang, you could feel your face heat up, and your heart race quicker. You thought you were the only one freaking out but Javier was too, he too was just hiding it.
As quickly as the song started, it soon had to end. Without the alcohol, you both would’ve been a nervous wreck. Especially Javier. When he finished singing, he stayed silent, hoping you’d understand what he was trying to tell you through the song. He “thought” he was a decent flirt and had a way with people he was into, but all that confidence went out the window when he met you. The last time he felt this strongly about someone, he killed behind her. The feeling he felt was so familiar yet foreign to him. He never thought he could fall in love again, but after getting to know you, he knew it was possible and wanted to be with you. To love you every day and never let a day go by without letting you know he loved and cared for you intensely.
You both continued to sit in silence, you trying to figure out what to say and he waiting for you to say something. The silence was awkward to say the least, but you soon broke it with a small laugh, rubbing your hands on your face to try and calm your nerves and hide your blushing face.
“God, you’re so cheesy ya know that? It's sweet, but cheesy heh..”
You said playfully, looking towards him with a soft smile. He was stunned by your reaction, but before he could speak, you went on.
“But…I understand and…I… I feel the same, Javi. I am curious, though, why’d you choose to sing instead of just telling me?”
Hearing those words from you made his already red face grow darker, and a smile swept across his face. He was overjoyed that you caught on and even more thrilled hearing you felt the same. But your question was understandable; most people would write a letter or just confess, but he felt this was the best way for him to do it.
“It was the only way I could without making more of a fool out of myself, heh…It’s kind of romantic if you think about it, huh, mi amor?”
He remarked with a snicker. Even drunk, he still couldn’t be serious. You laughed alongside him, but it was pretty romantic. Hearing him sing such a sweet song just for you had you head over heels. You wanted to bask in this moment with him, but your body was giving you plenty of signs you needed sleep now. You sluggishly pushed yourself up from your spot and stood beside him with a tired smile.
“This was sweet..You sure know how to make me smile, but I better get to bed before I fall asleep on you…”
You said softly. Javier was a little heartbroken that you were leaving, but his sadness didn’t linger much longer. You leaned down, placed one hand on his cheek, and gave him a tender cheek kiss as a thank you and just because. The sensation sent a shiver down his spine, and his silly smirk widened with joy. You were about to pull away from him, but he couldn’t let go yet. He shifted his guitar off his lap and pulled you down onto his lap. It did startle you at first, but before you could process it, he returned the kiss, leaving a sweet kiss on your cheek. Receiving a kiss from you and returning it filled him with so much joy that it was hard to contain. He couldn’t just give you one, he planted a few more kisses on you while you giggled and tried escaping his grasp, which wasn’t quite working.
“C’mon on javiiii, I need to go to bed!”
You said between laughs as you kept trying to push away from him, but eventually you gave up and let him happily continue to shower you with kisses until he was finally ready to let you go. Part of you thought it was the alcohol making him like this, but another part thought this was just the beginning of his overly affectionate behavior. Either way, you both were happy with the way the night ended, especially for Javier, now that he could finally show you the love he’s been craving to show you after so long.
A/n: Sorry it took me so long to post, but here's the first of many confession shorts! The next one I post is for Javier!!
Word Count: 1.6k
You and Kieran were close, a little too close, some thought. Ever since he officially joined the gang, you helped him adjust and tried to keep the others off his back all the time. A few acts of kindness soon turned into a genuine friendship between you and him. For a while, things were great between you guys. You were practically inseparable; he’d always check on you and vice versa, and any downtime you or he had, you were spending it together. You may have been just friends at first, but you slowly fell for him. He always checked up on you, he was quick to lend you a helping hand, and small things like him grooming your horse made you smile. His personality and quirks made him different from the others, but it’s what drew you in. He loved being around you, too. Thanks to your friendship, he felt more included with the gang; you made him feel less like a burden and more like someone who deserved better. However, over time, you started noticing changes in his behavior. He was far more nervous than usual, stammering over his words, not wanting to hang out as much, and being secretive, too. But he only acted that way with you. Anytime you asked him what was up, he avoided the question or said nothing. You knew he was lying, and it worried you, but nothing seemed to change until today.
Today wasn’t so busy, so you did some shopping, foraging, and a little thievery to spice things up, but you had to return to camp eventually. By the time you returned to camp, it was late in the evening, some folks were still out and others were relaxing, enjoying one of the few quiet evenings they could get. As you strolled into camp, your eyes caught Keiran almost immediately. He was with the horses like usual, grooming them and giving them some more hay. Your immediate reaction was to say hey but you hesitated. With the way he’s been acting, you decided to keep quiet. With a quick huff, you pulled your horse to the nearest post and hopped off, slowly unpacking your saddle. While you unpacked, you couldn’t help but look back in Keiran's direction, feeling a little guilty that you didn’t speak, but he wasn’t there anymore. “What the hell..?” You thought to yourself while quickly scanning your surroundings in search of him.
“Heya!”
Someone said behind you. Your body jolted upright and spun around, and to your surprise, it was Kieran, with his hands raised in surrender.
“ ‘m sorry, just wanted to say hey…ain’t mean to startle ya..”
He muttered, a slight nervous sweat running down his rosy cheeks. You stared blankly at him, surprised because he was talking to you first. For weeks, you were initiating and holding conversations with him, so this was a shock to you.
“It's fine…Hey Kieran.”
“That’s good…C..can we uhm..talk? In private, please?”
He stammered, his voice shaking while he spoke. Kieran was known for being nervous, but even this seemed a little out of character. His hands trembled by his sides, his lips stretched into a thin smile, and his face grew redder by the second. Your eyes trailed his face and body curiously, trying to figure out why he wanted to talk privately, but you agreed to speak with him..
“Uh, yeah sure, just give me a minute. Need to put some stuff away.”
“O-okay! Meet me by the clearing over there.”
He said with a wide smile, pointing to the small clearing of trees near the horses. You looked in that direction and gave him a thumbs up before leaving his side. For weeks, he’s been distant, and now he wants to talk alone? Your gut churned at the many things that could happen. Anxiety swarmed your thoughts, worried you did something wrong, or that he wanted to stop being friends with you. After you put your things away, you slowly walked to the spot where Kieran wanted to meet you. He stood against a tree with his arms behind his back. The closer you got, the more queasy you felt. Who knew the time he wanted to talk to you would make you this uneasy? When you finally arrived at the clearing, he moved off the tree, seeming eager yet nervous. Your hands were wrapped tightly around your arms, trying to ease your nerves. You both had things you wanted to say, but no words came out; you just stared at each other, feeling similar emotions. This moment of silence was eating you both up, but you spoke first, desperate to get this over with.
“…Hey, look ‘m sorry for whatever I…did…”
You said, but soon stopped when Kieran moved his arms from behind his back to reveal what was hiding behind them. It was a small bouquet ranging in color and size, most of which grew around camp. His eyes shifted from your face to the flowers he held towards you with trembling hands. He didn’t have his hat on, but if he had, he would have been hiding his face behind it.
“I-I uhm…I like you..Like a lot. I know I been acting weird, I ain’t mean to, but being around you made me feel so many things..I couldn’t stop thinkin bout ya..”
He paused. He took a moment to clear his throat and finally look at you.
“ I thought it would just go away, but it got worse…I was afraid I’d scare you off if I confessed, but I can’t keep my feelings to myself anymore…I wanted to say sumthing but I was scared to for a while… heh hell ‘m scared now but I can’t act as if I don’t want to be more than friends with ya..”
Your hands quickly covered your open mouth, his words left you speechless. You were so worried that you did something wrong that you completely overlooked the possibility that he had feelings for you. Your eyes welled with tears, and your cheeks flushed from his confession. While you were processing everything, Kieran stood there, a trembling mess, waiting for your reaction, but worried he’d be rejected. He may have been scared, but he’d rather get rejected now than later. From the moment you both met till now, you’ve been playing on a loop in his mind. Your kindness towards him kept him warm on cold nights, made him smile on rough days, it made him feel loved more than ever. He was captivated by you, but scared that feeling this way about you was wrong. He was afraid you’d push him away and shut him out if he confessed, but he couldn’t keep his feelings a secret anymore. Though fear consumed his being, he had to tell you, even if there was a slim chance you’d feel the same. In the silence, only your breathing and chirps from crickets could be heard. The tension was almost suffocating for Kieran; he was just about to leave and hide due to the embarrassment, but finally, you moved. You stepped closer to him, reaching for his hands and resting your hands over his. The simple gesture was enough to ease Kieran's shaking body almost immediately. His eyes glanced at your hands and then back at you, however, you were looking at the flowers with a soft smile.
“I was worried you didn’t wanna be friends anymore…but this is even better..”
You said softly, looking up at him with small tears trickling down your face, not out of sadness but joy. Kieran was shocked by your reaction, but glad you seemed to reciprocate the feeling. His already pounding heart was over the moon. His lips curled into a soft smile. He stepped closer to you, looking down at you with a relieved but happy expression.
“So…you like me too..?”
He asked, just to be sure. His question made you laugh a little, but you nodded your head, taking the flowers from his hands and bringing them up to your nose to smell.
“mhm…I like you a lot, Kieran.”
He smiled warmly at you, his expression still as bashful as ever. If he were bold, he would’ve swooped you up in his arms and kissed you but he refrained, not wanting to do too much so soon. His eyes closed for a moment, but soon reopened because of a sudden feeling of your lips against his. A small whimper escaped his lips as he looked down at you with widened eyes, thinking he said he wanted to kiss you out loud. Before he could fully process the kiss, you pulled away with a playful smirk. While he thought he was just thinking about kissing you, his body language was giving it away, making it more obvious he wanted to, so you kissed him.
“ There, happy? We should head back to camp, I want to put these in a vase.”
You said happily, giving him another big smile before turning away to go back to camp. You were at first a little hurt by his behavior towards you, but knowing he had feelings for you and wanted to confess them properly made you feel at ease. Better than that, you were elated. Kieran was still in shock by the kiss and was unable to process what you said, but seeing you walk off made him snap out of it.
“W-wait for me! Can we kiss again? I wasn't ready!”
He said, quickly catching up to you and walking closely beside you, back to camp. Being able to confess to you was the best decision he ever made. Not only did you help him feel less lonely in this world, but now he’d do the same for you and more.
