𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗢𝗻𝗲 𝗙𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗩𝗶𝗿𝗴𝗼 (𝗦𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀)
𝗔/𝗡: YN refers to “your name,” you / YN refers to the song titled after you
Trigger warning: implied mention of character death and suicide attempt
One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven
“How ya doin’, noona? How’s your day?”
You received a message from Bambam.
Perhaps he knows what happened earlier. Of course, Irene will tell your “brother” that you suddenly broke down around six in the morning then stormed away from her apartment leaving her confused.
But you do hope that Irene left the part that it was caused by a guy. Never ever did it happened in your four years of being best friends that you cried over a guy. And you cannot accept the fact that he is just an acquaintance from five years ago and yet he made you cry.
Bambam added that he learned from Yugyeom that you took the day off from work and that made him worry.
Yeah, they are actually friends and you think that they exchange rants about work with each other. They might even be together partying last night.
You told him that you just felt a little weird and took the day for rest, without mentioning the crying incident and why it happened.
The conversation was short and ended as soon as you told him you are already fine.
You felt a little guilty that you did not honestly answer Bambam’s innocent and purely concerned question about your day.
What happened was you cried all the way home from Irene’s apartment with a head full of questions. You wanted to sleep but the thoughts did not leave you. So, you opened your computer and plugged in the hard drive that contains the photos from the trip you took five years ago.
You browsed on the photos and realized that not a single photo of him exists in your collection. Why? Because your meeting was unexpected but a serendipitous one.
That might be the case but you remember everything about that night; you remember everything he said and how he looked.
He was sporting a short-cropped hair that frames his face very well. You remember those eye whiskers that appear whenever he smiles. The dimple on his right cheek that gets deeper when talked about a serious topic full of passion.
YN fitted the mood of reliving that night.
There is a hole in your heart and YN has found it. This hole has been there all along and you just keep trying to fill that with the memory in your mind but it was not how it should be.
The only way to fix it is to replace that memory with answers; answers to why a lost girl made it into someone’s debut song. It would be the perfect bandage for your healing.
The train of inquiries is mixed with hate. How could someone use your weakest to make himself famous? You trusted him.
You trusted him with your story.
You trusted him with your story because he was a stranger.
That was the irony. You met a stranger and you find comfort to tell him your life story.
Ironic too that this stranger helped you begin a new life. Someone made you realized that you are more to what people have judged you as. “You are somebody else,” you remembered his words.
You were only 22 then. Your life was in a mess when you met him – that’s when he found you; that’s when you found a new start.
You only want his answers and nothing more.
But your mind was quick to change in the afternoon. After a good three-hour sleep, you decided not to entertain the idea of reconnecting with your “J” anymore.
He had his own fair share of pain when you met. Perhaps there’s another YN out there that deserves better credit than you.
You played the song for the last time and that was the end of it.
You concluded that you were just two ships at that night; just two souls whose lives crossed once but never meant to meet again.
Sunday came and you hope it would be another day for rest but shortly after your last night’s conversation with Bambam ended, Irene nagged on having a day out.
Irene was up for shopping and end up buying five dresses. You, on the other hand, bought a pair of shoes and two new books but you end up carrying three bags because of Irene’s unnecessary gift.
There’s no celebration that calls for a gift. But when you’re about to leave the shopping center, you were surprised when Irene handed you a craft paper bag when she came out of a record store – her final stop for the day. “It’s for you. My gift. Open it once you’re at home,” that was she said.
Upon arriving home, you did your final review of the proposal and told the team your approval for submitting it tomorrow.
However, during your entire conversation with the team, you were pretty bothered of Irene texting you if she can talk with you over the phone. You felt bugged that you two were together all day long and yet she still wants to call you at night. But you read her text message as something serious.
She asked you if you have already seen her gift, which you have left sitting on your dining table when you arrived. But what bothered you more was her next lines of saying sorry for not thinking.
You are completely clueless of what she was telling you through text and the next thing you knew, she told you that she will come in your place tonight.
Irene answered right on the first ring when you called her while you are opening the gift.
“I’m driving right now to your place. I’m sorry about the gift. I’m really sorry, YN. I think he’s looking for you… I shouldn’t have given you that. I really think you’re the YN in YN. Again, I’m sorry. With your yesterday’s reaction about him, I regret surprising you with that,” she was rambling words when you realized what is inside the bag.
“Stop! Wait! Did you just get me a Park Jinyoung album!?” you said and that put her rambling in a halt.
“Yes! And YN, it’s called ‘Hear, Here!’ It has a title! But I’m really, really sorry.” She sounded apologetic but she’s still the fangirl Irene.
“What are you sorry for then? You’re getting weird, ‘rene,” you said.
“Seeing how you reacted about him, I don’t think you’re fine to hear that he’s looking for a YN. Okay. I don’t know how to say this… you have there the album in your hands, right?”
An “uh huh” was the only sound she got from you.
“I’m just a few blocks away from your place. Please be strong. I don’t want to see you cry again. I know you have gone to a solo trip at a young age but this is something that would either make or break you. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have surprised you with something that could surprise me too. Are you listening?”
You were browsing ㅡ no, you’re paying attention to everything that is printed on the book the whole time Irene was apologizing. It’s not the usual photobook that comes in a KPOP album; it also has poems that you believe Jinyoung had written .
You did a quick scan of the poems without pondering on what they want to express but the ninth and final poem is a different topic. You find it uncomfortably familiar.
You know the poem. Your brain gives you the next word ahead of your eyes.
The last line made you realized that it was the quick note you wrote a few minutes before you were about to end it all. It’s been a long time and everything is coming back.
How is Park Jinyoung playing with your emotions after five years? How could a short encounter with him can massively affect you?
You heard a knock on the door and opened it immediately knowing it could be Irene.
“Irene, it’s not just my name that he stole but also, the last poem is mine,” you welcomed her with that.
There was ambiguity in the look she gave you while she was taking off her shoes.
“I don’t know how this poem got to his hands but I remember I left this at the cruise’s library,” you told her. “Does that mean he saw me in the library before he approached me at the deck?”
“If I were you, I’ll be asking these things to him. He’s obviously looking for you and he wants to send you the message through this album, YN.” At this point you don’t know if Irene is helping you in the situation.
“How could this trainee have debuted with a song like this? You must have had left a great impression on him. He had been a trainee at JXP Ent. with Jackson. So that means at the time you met, he was already preparing to become an idol. It was only Jackson who gave him the debut he wanted and deserved. Look, I don’t think this is just a coincidence and with what you just said about the poem, I suggest you to reach out to him,” you received an earful from your best friend.
“No!” was your immediate answer. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to come out there and claim ‘I am YN!’”
“What! You’re just going to stay silent there watching someone look for you everywhere? YN, you’re not going to 'claim' because you are her! You are YN! You are the one he is looking for!”
“To be honest, Irene, I thought I have already decided about this yesterday. I don’t want to reconnect anymore. I don’t want to be a nuisance to him. Yeah, I do have questions for him but to meet him again is like opening the sad life I ended already. Let me just consider him the unexpected happy ending of that book.”
“Hold on to that beautiful words, writer-nim! Wouldn’t it be unfair to him if you just hide there?” Irene blurted.
“Wasn’t it unfair of him to use my name and my piece of work without my consent? We’re now equals!” you exclaimed.
Irene made a loud sigh. “I get it now. You haven’t read the whole thing yet. There is a disclaimer that says the last poem was from someone, quoting what was written there, ‘who left a deep mark in his heart.’ You just confirmed you wrote it. I’ve connected the dots, YN. Don’t make it harder for him.
“What do you want me to do? Tell him, ‘hello! I am YN, the girl behind YN song?’ You know I’ve been through a lot making it to where I am right now,” you told her.
“YN, I’m not the enemy here. I’m just suggesting that you, at least, send him a ‘hello.’ I remember how you told me that you wanted to thank him before. I remember that you were actually looking for him back then” Irene suggested.
There was a moment of silence between the two of you. You were slowly caving in to what Irene wants you to do. You know to yourself that despite the hate that has formed because of your questions for him, you wanted to thank him for that unexpected happy ending which pushed you to begin with a whole new better book.
“Okay. I’ll consider it!” you gave up. “But, let me wait for a sign first.”
“Oh good!” Irene was clearly rooting for you but she has that straight face on her. “Lay your plans, princess.”
“If this song… If YN wins three times this week in the music programs, then I’ll send my regards to him,” that was your condition.
“Call! Mmm with how YN is performing on the charts right now, even though Park Jinyoung is a rookie, I think it’s not far to happen,” she asserted.
“And if it does not happen, by then, this conversation is done,” you said.
Wednesday came quickly. The editorial team is now finalizing the schedule for all engagements to be made with Jackson Wang.
The proposal to have a full-length feature article on Jackson Wang and for him to appear on the cover of your next month’s issue was approved yesterday. But unfortunately, the company did not approve including all Team Wang Ent. artists. Your team decided to still pushed through to put a sidebar article for the other artists and rely on a press release to be provided as your primary source.
When you arrived at your place at that night, it was Irene’s message that you noticed first among all your non-work notifications.
“#YN2ndwin” her message said.
Irene saw that you have seen her message already and followed up with a screenshot of the MBC Music’s Show Champion results for today and on the same image, there he is — there was Park Jinyoung. Seeing him in this photo, knowing that it just happened, maybe an hour ago, gave you a different feeling.
It gave you the impulsive energy that did not stop you to wait for the third win. You decided that you’ll be doing it tonight.
One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven
A/N: How was it? I want to hear your thoughts about it? You may also ask me your questions here: Dayne’s CuriousCat
