Just a fangirl trying to write. No biggy ^_^. Call me Mod Jay! Just message me either Bucky or Steve and a plot! (only for x-reader)NO SMUT sorry :/ Requests: closed Masterlist
Despite the fancy survey, changes to the UI and TOS reveal we’re getting the service in the future whether we want it or not. Obviously, Post+ is a terrible idea that is trying to bank revenue on user content. Unlike patreon or onlyfans, tumblr’s primary focus is on FAN content. The legality of this is NOT in the users favor and as the new tumblr TOS states, said users will be entirely liable for whatever legal matters arise.
SO WHAT ARE WE DOING?
Besides filling out the survey, it’s time to show tumblr we mean business and show our displeasure by hitting them where it hurts.
Ad revenue.
We’re proposing a 24 hour log off as phase one of this protest.
WHEN IS THE PROTEST?
AUGUST 6th, 2021
12 am Eastern Time (US)
5 am Greenwich Mean Time
6 am Central European Time
8 am Moscow Standard Time
1 pm Australian Western Time
2 pm Japan Standard Time
3:30 pm Australian Central Time
4 pm Australian Eastern Time
AUGUST 5th, 2021
11 pm Mountain Time (US)
9 pm Pacific Time (US)
THE END TIME IS 24 HOURS FROM START TIME!!!
So no posting, no queues, no likes, and no reblogs!
WHAT IF I CAN’T/WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?
Like this post and share it AS MANY TIMES AS POSSIBLE. Use the hashtags #tumblrlogoff2021 or #postplusprotest on ANY and ALL social media.
WILL THIS WORK?
Maybe, maybe not. It’s an attempt at doing SOMETHING.
Hey, I was just wondering if I could be added to your Naively In Love story? I just binges the chapters you have up and I am absolutely in LOVE with it!!
Hey, of course!! I’ve taken a bit of a break from that series, but as soon as I regain my motivation, I’ll go ahead and add you! Thank you sm for enjoying my work!
hi there!! i’m new to the blog and i just read Naively In Love and i LOVED it. i was just curious if you were gonna continue the series at all. sorry if i just haven’t seen any updates on the series and this is a stupid question
Hello, that’s not a stupid question at all!! I’ve taken a bit of an unexpected hiatus from this blog because I’ve lost some motivation to write these characters/this story that sadly has not returned yet. I’m hoping that this break will do me some good tho! Thank you for enjoying my work, I really appreciate it!
Thank you much for Steve x reader cuddle story(rough day was the name maybe?) I wanted to read something pg and not weird and this was perfect. Love your works so much and I hope you have a lovely day!
Thank you! I’m so glad that you enjoy my stuff! I hope your day is lovely as well! ♥️♥️
25 Black-owned bookstores you can support right now
while i don’t claim to be a “book blogger” by any account (more of a cranky publishing-person blogger most days), i know a lot of people have followed me through my book posts, so i’m taking advantage of that captive audience to boost these bookstores. shop them through their own websites and if you’re local, look into curbside pickup to minimize shipping costs and overhead. okay that’s all thanks bye stay safe.
the lit bar (a personal favorite and the bronx’s one remaining bookstore)
Fanfiction is becoming people’s primary form of entertainment right now because most media right now is so cheap, bland, recycled, and sponsored by people who love money more than the source material. Fanfiction is written for free by people who genuinely love what they’re writing about. That’s why it’s better. That’s why it’s more satisfying. Fanfiction is a home-cooked meal made for yourself and for your friends. Media today is junky fast food spoiled by too much grease and the knowledge that the people producing it are being criminally mistreated and underpaid.
As soon as Bucky arrived back at his house, a troubled breath tumbled from his lips. He held a thousand mile gaze as his night played and replayed his mind’s eye. Guilt and shame festered in his gut as he leaned his head back against his front door. He wasn’t supposed to enjoy his night as much as he did. It was supposed to be a friendly gesture, a sort of premature apology for his future plans. Nevertheless, he tangled himself in the way that her smile reached her eyes when they shared a laugh, and the pure contentment that she exuded after he’d declared their outing a date.
He cringed at the memory. That definitely was not supposed to happen. The words just felt so natural to him, though, like something clicked into place as soon as he’d said them. A shift happened in the energy between them that he was not prepared for in the slightest.
His far off gaze lifted off of the floor as he pushed himself off of the door and up the stairs leading to his room. He bit his lip and glanced at his mother’s door as he passed it, silently thankful that she had gone to sleep already. He didn't need her asking where he went after school; he didn’t have the heart to tell her what he was doing, and knew that he wouldn’t be able to lie to his own mother. Lying to (y/n) was plenty enough dishonesty for him.
‘Am I even lying to her anymore?’ He thought to himself, pausing just before he entered his room. That question rooted his feet to the floor and pushed a sigh from his lungs.
He knows what he felt that night. He’s only ever had that feeling once before, and that was years ago in elementary. His eyes flitted this way and that as he stood still as a tree before his door, almost as if he was looking for the answer to his qualms in the floorboards, until he’d finally snapped out of his daze and realized that he’d been holding his doorknob for the past five minutes.
He pushed open his door and crossed the room to his bed, unceremoniously slinging his body across it and letting his leg dangle and sway over the side while his hand rested on his stomach. His gaze seemed to look through the ceiling as he unleashed his thoughts once more, letting the furrow between his brow crease and fold into his skin.
It was all too much. He couldn’t handle deceiving her now that he defined the feelings that were festering in his belly.
“I’ve gotta tell her…” He muttered to himself.
With that thought, the fog dissipated, and a clear plan took place.
…
(y/n) was floating on clouds as she made her way from class to class, a smile on the verge of spreading resting on her lips. Her stomach had been set alight with butterflies since she was dropped off the night before; sleep was a stranger to her that night. She awoke with a smile, and moved throughout her morning routine with a dusty rose lens of infatuation.
She swung her feet beneath her chair as she picked at her food with a dopey grin stuck on her face. Her friend had been observing her with her eyes narrowed throughout the entire lunch period until she reached over and poked her cheek.
“What’s got you all smiley?” She asked suspiciously, “You haven’t spoken a word this whole period.”
“Hm…?” She hummed, dragging her eyes over to her friend.
“You heard me.” She replied, “Did something happen that I don’t know about?”
“Oh,” She said, bringing her lip between her teeth as a light giggle bubbled from her chest, “Yeah, I went on a date last night.”
Her friend was taken aback, and drew a hand to her chest, “A date?” She exclaimed, before a small smile blossomed across her lips, “With who?”
(y/n) merely nodded her head toward the rowdy lunch table across the room, and once her friend followed her gaze, her jaw dropped.
“You went on a date with Bucky Barnes?” She asked incredulously, “What-when did this happen?”
“Last night.” (y/n) hummed, still smiling and looking at him, “I just asked him, and he agreed. And it was great.”
“Oh my God!” She exclaimed, grasping (y/n)’s shoulders and turning her torso to meet her wild eyes, “That’s awesome! You’ve had a crush on this guy-
“Since forever, I know.” She muttered, giggling as her friend shook her back and forth, “You always tried to push me to make the first move.”
“For good reason, obviously!” She exclaimed, squeezing her poor shoulders for emphasis, “I just wish you had done it earlier.”
“...I guess you were right-”
“Damn right I was right!” she proclaimed proudly.
“Am I interrupting anything?”
(y/n)’s head snapped up from her plate, and immediately broke into a smile upon seeing Bucky standing before her.
Her friend just chuckled and threw her hands up in surrender, “Not at all.” She responded, “You two go ahead.”
Bucky smiled at her, “I just need a few minutes.” He muttered before allowing (y/n) to stand and follow him to a secluded corner of the cafeteria.
“What’s up?” (y/n) asked, smiling with her eyes bright.
“I-I just…” It’s the eyes for him, god he can’t think straight. He just inhaled and squinted his eyes as he wrung his lower lip between his teeth, “Are you free this Saturday?” His voice raised an octave, almost like he was pulling back from the question itself.
“Yes I am, as most losers are.” She responded, chuckling, “What do you have planned?”
“My friends and I are…” He trailed off, reeling in his mind the easiest way to tell her that she was essentially his date to an ugly contest, “we’re having a fifties themed throwback, and I need a date.” He chose his words carefully; each word that left his mouth was plucked and placed gently into his sentence.
Her face lit up as soon as the words left his mouth, “I’d love to go!” She exclaimed, “I’ve always wanted to go to a fifties themed party!” She added a little bit of a chuckle. “Why were you so nervous to ask me that?”
“Who said I was nervous?”
“You stuttered your first word, Buck.”
“That could mean anything.”
“Like what?’ She asked, giggling, “What else could that mean?”
Bucky opened his mouth to retort, but was cut off by a collective shout from his group of friends causing him to jump and look back to their table to see what those idiots were up to. (y/n)’s brows rose with the sound, her eyes widening in surprise as she peaked from behind Bucky’s shoulders.
“What the hell are they doing over there?” She asked, curiosity and mild concern dripping from every word.
“Probably something stupid,” Bucky replied, his eyes squinted as he tried to focus on the table, “I can never leave them alone for more than five minutes…”
He mumbled like a disdained mother keeping watch over her toddlers, and his tone pulled a chuckle from (y/n)’s chest causing him to snap back to face her and shoot a glare her way.
“What’s so funny?” He asked, crossing his arms.
“Oh nothing…” she said, “you just sounded like a nanny is all.”
He just scoffed and rolled his eyes, “I did not.”
(y/n) threw her hands up in mock surrender and breathed an airy, “Whatever you say,” she then dropped her hands and crossed her arms, turning her attention back to Bucky’s rowdy friend group, surprised to find one of them playing the knife game with one of the plastic knives from the cafe, “You better get over there before someone loses a hand.”
Bucky just sighed, and started over to the table, “I’ll pick you up at five.” He threw this over his shoulder, sparing her a weak wave as he hurried his steps across the room.
(y/n) just breathed an airy confirmation as she started on her way back to her seat, the smile slipping its way back on to her lips as her mind began to reel on what she would wear that weekend.
…
‘God, I hope this is ‘fifties’ enough…’ (y/n) thought to herself as her eyes dragged up and down her image in the mirror.
She adorned herself in a maroon dress that hugged her waist and flared by her shins. On her feet were a pair low rise heels; she knew that if she went any higher than two inches her ankle would be twisted by the end of the night. Her lips were painted in a deep maroon, to coincide with her dress, and she wore diamond studs; courtesy of her mother.
She found her eyes in the mirror, alight with nerves and accented with mascara, and swallowed down the butterflies creeping up her throat.
‘Why the hell am I so nervous about this?’ she asked herself, ‘it’s just a date with my crush of several years, nothing I haven't done before…’
Her thoughts were split by the ding of her phone which caused her jump and rush to it, plucking it from her charger.
bbarnes: I’m outside, doll
She felt her face grow hot as she typed her reply, her nerves now wracking through her body.
(y/n): Coming!
With one last look in the mirror and a prayer sent up above, she grabbed her jacket, and rushed out of her room whisking past her mother. A small good luck floated from the front to the back of her head as she opened the front door, and felt the cool night air rush over her legs.
‘Here goes nothing…’
…
Bucky and (y/n) entered arm in arm, and Bucky smiled when he caught (y/n)’s eyes light up upon crossing the threshold. The lights were dimmed, and a checkered dance floor was placed at the center of the room. In the booths along the sides of the buildings, “couples” were sharing milkshakes and fries, the girls’ cheeks alight with blush and mirth. The air was thick with hairspray, and cigarette smoke danced alongside the scent.
“How the hell did they allow that here?” (y/n) asked, vaguely pointing at the couple leaning against the ‘bar’, passing a cigarette between themselves.
“Hell if I know…” Bucky muttered, “They probably bribed the poor man who owns this place.”
“Would they really do that?” she asked, a wrinkle between her brows.
“I wouldn’t put it past them…” He muttered, a twitch in his jaw as his eyes scanned the area. Once he spotted a free booth, he jutted his chin over towards it, “C’mon,” he said, “let’s grab a seat.”
…
(y/n)’s head reeled back in a boisterous laugh as she placed a hand on her shaking belly, “He really ate a piece of ham off of the street for a dollar?” She asked incredulously.
“The poor guy had stomach aches for a week,” Bucky replied, a chuckle caught in his throat, “You should’ve seen the look on his face when he spotted the Thanksgiving ham that year.”
(y/n) snickered as she played with her straw, gently mixing the milkshake before her. A light spell of silence drifted over the two of them as (y/n) glanced about the room, taking note of the records glued to the walls, “Your friends really went all out for this event,” she muttered, “Every song so far has been from the fifties.”
“How can you tell?”
“Oh, um,” she shifted her gaze down towards her shake, playing at the glass with her fingers, “My old friends and I used to get high and listen to the old cd’s in their parents cars.”
Bucky snickered, “Sounds like a great time.”
“It really was,” she bit her lip, a bittersweet smile spread upon them, “that was when I discovered Nina Simone; I’ve been obsessed with her ever since.”
Bucky’s brows shot up, “You listen to Nina Simone?”
“I live by her,” (y/n) responded, her eyes glued to the table, “Well, I try to at least…” She played with her fingers as she debated on opening up about this part of herself, but upon looking across the table and meeting Bucky’s eager eyes, a dam broke, and she allowed a slow smile to leak into her words, “she was completely in love with herself and her culture, and she fought for what she believed in. She put her whole heart and soul into her craft, and I try to work toward that every single day of my life.”
Bucky felt his cheeks warm, “Wow, that…” he muttered, keeping steady eye contact as his gaze roamed her face, taking note of the way that she glowed under the low hanging lamp above their table.
(y/n) chuckled bashfully, glancing back down at the table, “What are you staring at?” she asked.
Bucky, not realizing that he was staring, cleared his throat and broke his gaze after a moment, “That’s pretty admirable, doll. Not many girls find themselves like that until after they get out of high school.”
“Not many girls have gone through what I went through my freshman year,” she responded shrugging her shoulders, “when my friends all left me behind, I had nothing but time to figure myself out.”
And in trickled Bucky’s gut wrenching guilt. He could only imagine how hard it was for her to open up to other people after what her friends had done to her. He could see the hurt in her eyes when she walked him through the entire ordeal the night of their first date. God, this was going to tear her apart…
(y/n) waved her hand in front of Bucky’s face, “Hello,” she muttered, “Earth to Bucky...what’s on your mind?”
He shook his head and bit his lip as he debated on how to answer her. He hated how well she read people sometimes; she would see right through him if he lied to her. He sighed as a furrow formed between his brows, and he met her concerned gaze. “Listen…” he started, feeling the sweat begin to build on the palms of his hands, “about tonight, I-”
“Wait a minute,” she said, glancing up towards the ceiling as she caught the gentle tune floating in the air. Her eyes lit up once she identified it, “this is one of my favorite Nina songs! We should dance!” She asked, upon noticing the couples swaying side to side on the dance floor.
Bucky sighed as he searched her eyes, and found nothing but excitement. There is nothing she wants more than to be on that dance floor. “Sure…” he muttered, reluctant, but with a soft smile on his lips.
Once they stumbled into a free spot, (y/n) wound her arms around his shoulders, and chuckled as Bucky tentatively placed is hands at her hips.
“I didn’t take you as a shy type of guy.” she mumbled, loosely setting her hands on his wrists and pulling his hands closer to her, “c’mon, don’t be shy. I don’t bite.”
“It’s called being respectful, doll.” Bucky replied, a smile seeping through his words as he tightened his grip and pulled her closer to him.
“Mh hm.” she responded, her tone dripping with sarcasm, “your little tough guy act doesn’t work on me anymore, Barnes, ” she pulled herself up and placed her forehead against his, locking their eyes together in a playful gaze that seeped into Bucky’s bones. “I can see right through you.”
“Oh, really?” He threw back, widening his eyes and nudging her head with his, “You figured me out in a week?”
“I wouldn’t say I ‘figured you out’, but you’re definitely not a stranger to me anymore. I’ve just... poked through your wall a little, that’s all.”
Bucky pushed an airy chuckle from his nose as he counted her lashes, “Whatever you say.”
(y/n) allowed a smirk to lift her lips as she slid her eyes closed, and swayed along with the crowd. Her arms relaxed and her breath fell into a steady rhythm as her smirk melted into a contented smile. The warmth of Bucky’s hands seeped through her dress to her core, and warmed her with a comfort and contentment that she hadn’t felt since...she couldn’t remember when. The smooth plucking of the bass line thrummed the strings of her heart and traveled through her veins from the top of her head to the tips of her toes; it warmed her cheeks with mirth.
Bucky watched the music travel through her, and roamed his eyes about her face, tracing the lines around her mouth, and the shape of her lips. He felt the weight of her arms settle on his shoulders, and the tension seep from her back. Upon sliding his hands to her waist, he noticed her breath was aligned to the thrum of the music, and unconsciously set his to the same rhythm.
When (y/n) opened her eyes and met Bucky’s, she smiled bashfully and broke their gaze, only to have his eyes follow hers.
“Oh, now you get shy,” he spoke softly, carefully, as if he was afraid of breaking their bond.
“Shut up…” she muttered, chuckling because she knew that she was caught, “I was just caught off guard.”
“From what?”
“...your eyes,” she responded, hesitantly, “they’re so intense and focused...it’s a little jarring.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
(y/n) snickered through her nose, “Don’t let it go to your head.”
Their eyes remained locked as the song came to a close, and like magnets, they slowly pulled into each other, neither of them noticing what they were doing until their lips were a breath apart. And there they stopped, locking eyes and flitting down to their lips, asking a silent question of consent before brushing them against each other.
“Alright!” Jason’s voice boomed from the speakers, stopping the music, and causing the two of them to jerk apart, eyes wide and alert, “we only have this DJ rented for an hour, so it’s about time to wrap this thing up!”
Bucky’s stomach dropped as he realized what had just happened, and what was going to happen in a few moments. He could feel the regret pooling in his eyes.
“What’s wrong?” (y/n) asked, but before Bucky could get another word in, he was summoned up onto the stage by Jason, accompanied by a boisterous laugh.
His limbs were heavy as he took himself to meet Jason. His eyes pleaded Jason to just drop it and give him the money, but he merely responded by thrusting his arm around Bucky’s shoulders, causing him to stumble a bit.
“This guy,” he started, jostling him about, “has a friend out studying across the country, and hasn’t shut up about missing him since the start of the year,” Bucky rolled his eyes, and knocked his arm off of his shoulders, “so, the three of us, Eli in the back, Bucky, and myself, thought up an idea to raise some money for him to visit his buddy over break.” A devious smile spread across his face as he scanned the crowd, “and I have to say, I am not disappointed with the results.”
He turned to Bucky, “Which lucky lady did you bring along with you tonight?”
Bucky sorrowfully swept the crowd, and found (y/n)’s confused eyes, before turning back to Jason and pointing her out.
“Ahhh,” he said, tightening his grip around his shoulders, “Bucky, you sly bastard, bring her up here!”
The crowd began clapping, blissfully unaware of Bucky’s uneasiness as he stepped down from the stage, and lead (y/n) back to it.
Jason waltzed over to (y/n), and wound his arm about her shoulders, “What’s your name little lady?”
Once he placed the mic before her lips, (y/n) tentatively leaned over to it, and spoke her name, “(y/n).”
“Full name, sweetheart.”
“(l/n). (y/n) (l/n).”
Jason smirked and stepped away from her, then thrust her arm up in victory, “Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the winner of this dogfight…(y/n) (l/n)!”
As soon as she heard that word, dogfight, all of the oxygen in the room seemed to have seeped through the walls; she felt suffocated. Words were muffled, colors blurred, and all she could bring herself to do was turn and look at Bucky, tears of betrayal and shock pooling in her eyes.
“I’m so sorry.” Bucky mouthed, eyes sorrowful and pleading for an answer.
(y/n)’s lip curled in a snarl as a tear spilled down her cheek. She then ripped her arm from Jason’s grasp and stormed down from the stage, parting the crowd like Moses to the sea, embarrassment setting her face alight with heat, and flames of rage climbing up through her core to her chest; she could not believe she let herself be humiliated like that.
“Wait, (y/n)-” Bucky called after her, desperation causing his voice to crack as he stumbled down the stage after (y/n); the crowd watched with wide eyes as a thick silence settled around the room. Once the doors closed behind him, Jason whistled into the mic and rocked back on his heels.
“How about a couple more songs before we go!” he suggested, trying to cut the tension ridden confusion from the crowd, to which they cheered tentatively as Eli ran to the DJ and slipped him a few extra dollars to keep the party going for a little longer.
...
The chill of the night raised goosebumps along her arms as she set herself against the wall of the building, trying to collect her frenzied thoughts. Her breath was unsteady, shaking with the tears that rolled down her face, and fighting against the lump in her throat.
She jumped a bit once the doors burst open beside her, and hurriedly tried to wipe her tears as Bucky clambered beside her.
“(y/n), I’m so-”
“Don’t even start with that bullshit.” She spat at him, “There is nothing you can say to me that would make what you did okay.”
Bucky jumped back, unsure of what to say next. “My friends...they put me up to it.”
“What, and you think that changes something?” She asked him, a joyless, incredulous smile on her face. She chuckled, her fingers against her lips.
“You could’ve just told me, you know,” she started, her voice rough with tears, “I would’ve understood. I would’ve been happy to help you out.” She met his eyes, hers fiery and red, fraught with anger. “But instead you choose to lead me on. You tricked me, and used me for some sick game.”
Bucky hung his head sighed, “I know…” he muttered, face burning with shame.
She studied him, head shaking side to side, a furrow between her brows and a frown set on her lips, “Do you really think a sorry would fix that?” she asked, her voice trembling, “I was opening up to you, Bucky. Against my own gut, I started to trust you. God, I can’t believe I was so stupid and naive to think that someone like you would take a genuine interest in me.”
Bucky just looked at her, ‘sorry’ clung to the tip of his tongue as he racked his brain for something substantial to say. “I don’t have anything to say for myself,” he started, his chest heavy, “I know what I did was wrong. I know I should’ve told you before all of this,” he waved his hand toward the building, “I never meant...I didn’t want to hurt you-”
“Well, you did,” she said, and she chuckled, “in the most cliche way that you possibly could’ve…” (y/n) could feel her tears building in her throat, and she knew that she wouldn’t be able to swallow them down for much longer. “Just...just take me home.” (y/n) muttered, her hands balled into fists at her sides and her eyes sullen as she pushed past him and headed toward his car.
Bucky watched after her, his guilt and shame sour and heavy in his chest, before he fell into step behind her.
The car ride was silent, and when (y/n) stepped out without a word said in his direction, she slammed his car door closed, and began her walk up to her home, her hand shaking as she pressed her key into the lock. Bucky watched after her, before pulling off, determined to make it back to his house before his own tears got the best of him.
…
(y/n)’s limbs felt heavy as she dragged her feet up the stairs, thankful that her mother had gone to sleep already so she wouldn’t ask her how her night went. Her hands gripped her doorknob like a vice as she turned it, as if it was the only keeping her from collapsing to the ground. A wave of perfume washed over her as soon as she swung open her door, souring her thoughts as she trudged her way to the mirror, kicking the door closed behind her. In a daze, she ran her eyes over her features and just...observed.
A thick silence settled over the room like a blanket, weighing on her shoulders and ringing in her ears.
She watched the way her chest jumped when she took in a breath, and the way her tears swelled on her waterline. She followed the mascara streaks down to the smudged lining of her lipstick, biting her lip as she sniffled.
Her thoughts trailed back over the night that she had, and felt her face crumble as tears built up in her chest.
‘I can’t believe I was so stupid…’ she thought to herself as her back curved with a sob, and her hands cupped her face.
And she cried, and cried until she had drained herself of tears, completely oblivious to her phone being set alight with notifications.
When she was done, she dragged her eyes back up her face, wiped it clean of the sticky residue of her makeup, then trudged her way to her bed, limply removing her clothing on the way. Once she encased herself in her blankets, and curled into her own warmth, she found herself drifting to sleep, the tang of her tears still fresh in her throat, hoping for comfort when the morning came.
(y/n)’s eyes followed every tantalizing tick of the clock hanging above the classroom door. Up and up they went around the clock, following the hand through each cycle. Her teacher droned on and on, yet each word drifted in and out of her ears, sliding off of her brain like water off the sides of a boat. Her hand stood poised with her pencil clenched between her finger tips, and her chin sat in the palm of her other hand. The lids of her eyes drooped slightly over her pupils, yet her brows were drawn together in the center of her forehead in a pensive stare.
‘God...I hope it isn’t awkward…’ she thought to herself, her eyes shifting down to her blank notebook page, ‘What are you thinking (y/n), you’ll be fine...you’ve talked outside of school before...on Instagram. It’ll be great. Hopefully.’
“(y/n), dear, do you have an answer for me?”
(y/n)’s brows shot up, and her eyes widened as she brought them up to meet her teacher’s. She bit her lip and looked at the board, which to her disdain, was wiped clean. Her teacher raised the pointer in her hand, only to bring it back down onto her palm as she awaited her answer.
“Um...can you...repeat the question?” She felt herself shrinking back into her seat as her teacher’s stare hardened, and began stalking towards her desk.
“The question, dear, pertained to the reading that was assigned last night. Were you able to follow those simple instructions that I so kindly put up on the board for the class, Ms. (l/n)?”
“Yes ma’am.” ‘She’s so entitled....’
“Then I will repeat my question,” She began, turning her back to her and heading back towards the front of the classroom. “The Fool mentions that Orsino’s mind is like an opal. What does that suggest about Orsino’s character?”
“He...it suggests that he is…um” She frantically flips through her notes, trying to pull an answer out of her sloppy notes while also avoiding the impatient glare sent from the front of the room, “He’s indecisive.” Her teacher raises her brow, suggesting that she goes on with the theory, “An opal gem may seem like a solid color, but if you look closer...it uh...appears to have many different colors hidden beneath the surface…”
“Go on….” she mumbled.
She scanned the rest of her notes for some semblance of sense to regurgitate, but since most of her night was spent grappling with her proposition to Bucky, not much was annotated from the reading. She gripped the edge of the page that held the starting of a somewhat profound analytical point, and searched her brain for that train of thought.
“And...if you look closer to Orsino’s actions and drive throughout the journey so far...no decisions have been made outside of his agenda for winning for Olivia’s affection...He doesn’t know how to choose his path outside of the lust that was assigned to him due to both gender and social cues.” (y/n) noted the numerous nods and ferocious note taking being done by her peers in confidence, glad that her brain decided to help her out in such a dire time. Usually in times of need, her brain tends to go offline.
“Interesting perspective, dear.” Her teacher responded, her nose still held in the air. “I’m sure we would all enjoy more of your insights, so I humbly request that you keep your focus on the contents of my class, thank you.” Without missing a beat, the teacher turned her back to the class to continue as she pushed her glasses up the slope of her nose with her finger.
Back (y/n) went to watching the clock and waiting for the day to be done. A dense ball of nerves sat like a rock in her stomach as she tried her best to store conversation ideas in her brain to cover the possible lapses in her future.
‘Relax, (y/n), it’s only awkward if you make it awkward...good lord that’s all that I know how do.’ She fought the urge to rub the bridge of her nose in frustration lest her teacher call her out again. She dragged her eyes along with the ticking clock before her, biting her lip in anticipation as it showed merely a minute left before her…
‘Did I specify if this was a date or not?’ The bell rang, nearly causing her to jump out of her skin as her crucial question stuck to the front of her mind. ‘Shit, (y/n) what have you gotten yourself into?’
…
(y/n) stood idly by the school entrance with the straps of her book bag clenched in her hands. Her eyes darted left and right, waiting to catch on Bucky as hundreds of students piled out of the doorway beside her. She had the address to their little destination set on her phone, not wanting to waste any time trying to pull it up while they were sitting in his car. She whipped her phone out of her pocket to check for any messages of where to meet up with him, seeing as they never specified meeting in front of the school.
‘That probably would’ve been smart to plan, (y/n)...’ she thought to herself as she checked her Instagram feed to try and take her mind off of her nerves, then she thrust her phone back into her pocket upon finding nothing interesting.
Her hands had gone moist as she scanned and scanned the crowd before her, the stream of students was thinning to a mere trickle. ‘You know what? He’s probably at his car...which doesn’t help me since I don’t know what his car looks like...crap.’
She clenched her jaw and inhaled the crisp fall air, frustration with herself building up in her chest for not thinking of a meeting place before they headed to their plans. A light thought gnawed at the back of her head that she has been stood up, but she dismissed it, knowing it would only make the ball in her stomach swell.
‘That kind of stuff only happens in the movies...just wait a little longer.’
…
“You guys don’t have to pick up the jukebox, I’ll be there later today.” Bucky drawled as he placed his books back in his locker. If his friends knew what he was planning that day after school, he would never hear the end of it.
“Lifting that thing is a two man job Buck,” Jason replied his shoulder leaning up against the locker next to Bucky’s, “Just let us get it, man, we won’t bother you.”
Bucky scoffed, “That’s all you two knuckleheads know how to do. I’ll get the jukebox, and you guys will go home, end of story.”
“Why don’t you want us there so bad?” Jason nearly whined, “Is there something going on there that you don’t want us to know about?” Jason’s eyes were squinted as he crossed his arms across his chest.
“It’s none of your business, alright.” Bucky mumbled back, shutting his locker and turning to leave. Jason and Eli both raised their brows and shared a look, then turned their attention back to Bucky, who was already halfway down the hall. With one more shared look, Jason made the decision to dart down the hallway, and block Bucky’s path by stretching his arm in front of Bucky and slamming his hand against the locker.
“Jase, what the hell man! What do you want?” Bucky exclaimed as he jumped back.
“You’re not going anywhere until you tell us, Bucky.” He said defiantly. “Is it a date?
“I told you that it’s none of your business.” He replied hotly as he tried to side step Jason, only to be stopped by Eli clapping his hands onto his shoulder.
“C’mon, we’re your best friends, Bucky,” Eli drawled in his ear as he caged him back into the locker by leaning against it, opposite of Jason. “We have a right to know these things.”
Bucky rolled his eyes and sighed through his nose, “Fine,” he grunted, “I honestly don’t know if it’s a date or not, she never specified.”
“Who is she?” Jason asked, his eyes wide with excitement.
“You guys wouldn’t know her.”
“Try us.” Eli challenged from behind him.
“This is gonna make me late.” He retorted, rushed and exasperated.
“You’ll be even more late if you keep fighting Buck.” Jason replied, almost taunting him.
Bucky glared at him before looking to the clock above is head, the guilt in his stomach growing at the fact that (y/n) had been waiting out in the cold for him for nearly five minutes.
“It’s (y/n) (l/n).” he said begrudgingly, his eyes latching on to the purely bewildered look on Jason’s face, “I told you two you wouldn’t know her. You’re wasting my time-”
“Oh, I know her. She’s the quiet little thing that sits in the back of my philosophy class. I’m surprised you know her, man.” Eli replied, the wrinkle between his brows indicating his equal confusion, “She’s not your usual type.”
“Do you really think I care about that?” Bucky’s voice was raised, his annoyance was beginning to rise to agitation the more he entertained his friends’ prying, “You two are really getting on my nerves with this prying crap. Interrogate me later, I’ve got places to be right now.” he shook his shoulder free from Eli’s clasped hand and pushed past Jason, nearly forcing him to lay against the lockers.
Jason and Eli both watched with slacked jaws and raised brows at Bucky’s sudden defensive attitude. As they watched him briskly walk down the hallway, brushing his hair back with tense fingers, Jason scoffed and turned to Eli with an incredulous look painted across his freckled face.
“What the hell is his problem?” He asked Eli, turning to him, his incredulous shock melting to irritation. “He’s had a stick up his ass since we starting this dogfight thing for him.”
“I think it’s a little more than that, Jase,” Eli replied, his eyes still locked on Bucky’s strides as his lips quirk up in a smirk, “I think he’s feeling a little guilty.”
Jason, taken aback by his response, turned to face Eli with his arms crossed and his brow furrowed, “he couldn’t have known her for more than a day, Eli. You think he’s got a crush or something?”
“You know how he is with girls, he’ll have them wrapped around his finger in a second,” Eli chuckled, “he’s going to tear this poor girl apart whether he wants to or not.”
…
(y/n)’s nose had gone cold and nearly runny as shivered idly by the same doors she’s been for the past...she’s lost track of time. She favored keeping her hands warm in her pocket rather than checking the time on her phone every five seconds.
With her head slightly ducked, she swept over the now deserted lot, a hybrid of a sigh and shiver creeping their way up in her chest. Her eyes were dull with disappointment, and her brain clouded with doubts and self reprimands. She couldn’t believe she had been so stupid to think-
“Hey, doll,” Bucky burst through the doors beside her, one hand already fishing for his keys in his pants pocket, “Sorry to keep you out here so long. My friends don’t seem to know how to let a busy man go.”
The relief she felt rising in her chest could’ve lifted her to the heavens as she looked at his disheveled locks, and apologetic eyes, “It’s fine,” She replied dismissively, “It’s not like I was freezing my ass off out here or anything,” A chuckle fished its way into the finishing breath of her sentence.
Bucky, a little bashful, smiled nervously as continued to dig around in his pocket,“I really tried to get away from them, but they kept sticking their nose in my business and I just couldn’t get them off my back-”
“It’s okay,” She shushed his with a soothing smile and a breathy chuckle, “I wasn’t actually upset. I know how friends can be, believe me.”
“You have no idea…” he mumbled to himself, pity swelling in his stomach like a bruise, nearly ruining his appetite, “Now let’s get to this place you were talking about before my embarrassment ruins my appetite.” Bucky then pulled his keys out in a fist and began a stride to his car, with (y/n) right behind him with her nose to the screen of her phone.
“Sure, just let me pull up the directions…”She mumbled as she opened her phone, “Man, I’m so excited. I’ve been wanting to try this place for so long, I love gyros.”
Bucky let loose an airy laugh as he unlocked his car. Of course they had to have the same favorite food, “So do I.”
…
This was a mistake. He should’ve just declined her offer to hangout, he should've just left her on read. But, no, he just had to blindly accept her offer without any thought as to how it would play out. They get along so well...too well. Almost like they knew each other, like old friends. His poor conscience can’t take it. They’ve been laughing and lightly flirting for the past two hours, and it only feels like it’s been minutes. He didn’t plan on this at all.
“...And that was the last time I would ever eat at a Friday’s.” (y/n) finished, a semi-horrified expression etched across her face, “I can’t even watch their commercials anymore without getting flashbacks…you okay there, Buck?”
Bucky, freshly shaken from his inner monologue, jumped slightly in his seat as his eyes rose to meet the slightly worried ones across from him, “Hm?” He muttered, his brows drawn together in silent apology. He shifted his gaze down towards the table that his elbow still sat upon, and tried to trace the very edge of his last rain of thought, hoping that he’d been somewhat paying attention to what (y/n) was talking about, before he realized that he’d been asked a question.
“Oh-yeah...I’m fine, my mind just got away from me for a little,” (y/n) merely raised a brow, copying the glare from her teacher earlier in the day, “Really, I’m fine...stop looking at me like that…” He muttered, chuckling a bit at her gaze that seemed to sizzle upon his skin.
“Not until you tell me what you were thinking about.” She spat back defiantly, reached her arms to cross before her chest, “It had to be something interesting if it was enough to block me out.”
“Oh, really?” He replied, “Sorry to break it to you but,” he playfully grimaced and rubbed his chin with his hand, “you’re really not that interesting.”
(y/n) scoffed and thrust her hand to her chest, “Me?” She asked dramatically, “Not that interesting? I beg to differ.”
“Prove me wrong.”
“Stop trying to change the subject.”
“That’s not proof.”
“You’re being ridiculous.” she responded, exasperation accompanied by a mirth-filled grin.
Bucky merely shrugged, “At least it’s interesting.” He lulled, “That’s all that I ask.”
“So, you’re really not going to tell me what you were thinking about?”
“No,” he responded, then he thought for a moment, and leaned forward in his chair as intrigue twinkled in his eyes, “But how about a question? Would that be enough for you?”
“Will it have something to do with what you were thinking about?” She asked, matching the gleam in her eye.
“Sure.”
(y/n) squinted her eyes at him, as if she was trying to physically see his bluff, “Hm...fine. What do you wanna ask?” She grabbed the half full glass of water before her and smoothly slid the straw into her mouth as she awaited his inquiry.
“Are we on a date right now?”
(y/n) clenched her glass and slid the straw from her lips, her eyes slightly widened as she stared at him. She then chuckled nervously, and placed the glass back on the table, “I was actually wondering the same thing…” She started, her gaze glued to the table, “I mean...I would like if it was a date, but if we’re not on the same page, then-”
“I don’t mind it being a date.” He said, a steady smile spreading across his lips.
Up to the heavens she went, and her smile spread like butter. It was as if the world around her had burst into color.
“Okay,” She said, breathy and excited, “So this is a date.”
“Great.” Bucky replied, keeping his gaze steady with her eyes, his smile gleeful and unwavering.
…
The entire car ride to her house was filled with small talk, accompanied by the old rock that (y/n) had taken it upon herself to introduce him to. On and on, she talked about how long it took her to get into it, and the first song to send chills down her spine. Bucky just sat back and listened, blissfully ignorant of the warning signs of attachment.
He’d let himself forget about the dogfight for a moment, and just enjoyed the first precious feelings of a developing crush. He ignored the fact that in two days, this wonderful, vulnerable side of herself would most likely be cut off from him, and their budding friendship would go completely off the rails. He ignored the guilt and the shame of dropping as low as his bone-head friends. He ignored everything save for the bliss of having his head in the clouds.
With one more wave sent back towards him, (y/n) closed the door, and with a sigh, leaned back against it with her eyes sent to the heavens. Her lip was held between her teeth as she reveled in the butterflies set aflutter in her stomach, a furrow between her brows, and her hand clutched to her chest. She could feel her heart rushing with adrenaline and giggles bubbling in her chest, and for once, she didn’t fight them.
‘Finally’, she thought to herself, ‘something good to look forward to.’
On June 19, 1865, the enslaved African-Americans in Galveston, Texas, finally learned the news that they were a free people, nearly three years after President Lincoln had signed the Emancipation Proclamation.
On abc’s Blackish season 4 premiere, the The Roots give a perfect explanation of why we celebrate Juneteenth. 🇺🇸
