I'm David, a 23 year old Canadian software developer, web developer, and all around nerd. The majority of my time is spent at work, cooking, coding, drawing, and watching movies and anime. This is a personal blog, and I tend to put image/gif sets, personal art, opinion pieces, and whatever else pops into my head on here.
There are still days where I fuck up, and keep fucking up so bad that I think about giving up on it all. During these times all I can think about is how stupid I am and how I want to make everyone happier by not being around.
It's been a long time since the attempt at my life that scarred me mentally to this day, and I try not to think about doing it anymore. But then my health starts failing due to the stress as if it's agreeing with me.
No anime/images/video games here, just me and some of my thoughts.
It would seem that the more time I spend alone, the more conflicted I become about letting other people into my life again. I'm one of those people who has lost pretty much every close friend I've ever had over the past few years (except one, who I thankfully gained back).
Overall the experience has made me even more of a distant person, unwilling to trust other people. On top of this, a bit over a year and a half ago was the nail in the coffin for what was left of my optimism at the time: a much needed, but still painful breakup.
Time crept forward, I graduated from my college program, and as life continued on I came to fairly stable terms with the thought that I was just unwilling to let someone back into my life. Yes I get lonely, and I'm a romantic at heart; but I honestly did not think I could trust someone enough for a relationship to be healthy.
Before I reached that conclusion I did try meeting new people. Doom, gloom and self-pity get you no-where in life, right? Unfortunately every girl I met didn't really spark anything in me. Most of them were nice young women, but talking to them felt no different then talking to any other random person. It felt hum-drum, like I was just going through the motions.
After a few months of dead-end coffee dates, casual drinks and bad movies I gave up. I figured that I either: needed more time, or I just hadn't met the right person. This was the point in time where I gave in, and accepted the loneliness.
Then something disruptive happened, I was introduced to my friend's friend.
As I got to know this girl I noticed (as did my friend) that I was taking an actual liking to her. This set off all sorts of red flags in my mind of course. After all the time it took for me to come to terms with my situation, now 'feelings' suddenly come back into the mix? Well maybe not.
This girl was already seeing someone, so end of story right? Well, given some recent events, I'm not really sure. However I believe that this story will come to some sort of close not far off in the the future.
Regardless, this situation reminded me that I'm still capable of having feelings of that sort for someone, as long as it's the right person. The problems for me going forward will be: over coming my mental blocks, and trusting a person if they do wish to be part of my life.
Finally I'd like to say: To anyone reading this that has been negatively affected by unrequited feelings for me, I'm sorry. I never mean any harm in my decisions, my heart is very picky I guess. There really aren't any people I hate out there, just a lot I am unwilling to trust.
So I finally finished the last 4 episodes of Acchi Kocchi! They were literally just sitting in a folder all this time waiting to be watched, as is the rest of my ever growing backlog ( ￣Д￣).
My final thoughts on this series: it was funny and cute. Nothing astonishing or ground breaking, and I don't mean that negatively. Sometimes it's nice to watch or read something that is simple, funny, and cute.
I'm probably going to watch some other stuff in my backlog today too... So many shows to pick from (￣ヘ￣ )...
I think I'll be finishing Zero no Tsukaima F this week... hopefully. I also want to catch up on Rinne no Lagrange 2 and finish the last few Acchi Kocchi episodes I never watched.
My tablet is collecting dust again too... that makes upset me more then anything since I told myself I would stick with my art no matter what. Need to work on my personal time usage I guess.
So I finished this show finally. Was pretty cute and funny, and handled the "sci-fi" side of itself with an interesting skepticism approach. If I had to classify it, I would call it a "coming of age and learning to cope with reality" story. It manages to do this in a very light hearted manner with an interesting sense of humour.
If you don't like seinen anime, odds are you won't care for it (or a lot of the things I post about I suppose). Otherwise, give it a whirl; it's has a pretty good story.
So this is somewhat delayed, but season 2 of Rinne no Lagrange has been airing for a couple of weeks now!
It is a direct continuation of Rinne no Lagrange, and takes place about 1 year after the end of season 1. It looks like it's going to focus on the conflict between Le Garite and De Metrio this time, so I'm looking forward to that. My only issue so far is the new opening isn't nearly as catchy as the first season's!
Seriously though, if you enjoyed Rinne no Lagrange then there is no reason not follow the second season along as it airs.
So I'm leaving for work in a few minutes, as per usual. But it's Friday, so that's okay!
I think I'm going to finish watching Denpa Onna to Seishun Otoko this weekend... and try to finish playing Saints Row the Third. Maaaaaybe finish Haiyore! Nyaruko-san too since I'm so close on it too. If there's any weekend left over after that I might start playing L.A. Noire.
Life has been.... busy but uninteresting lately.
But as soon as I hoped something interesting would happen, I had a migraine that spanned over a two day period.
So I finally got around to making one of those darn fangled anime lists.
fanlix
As far as I know this is pretty much up to date with what I've watched. You can see my horrible case of 'amassing backlog syndrome' in my Watching and On Hold lists, haha.
Speaking of amassing backlog, you can see a few entries in my Watching list that have no rating, these are shows/seasons I just picked up (tonight).
On top of all this I started watching Durarara!! and Denpa Onna to Seishun Otoko tonight, and enjoyed what I've seen so far. I'll probably make some image sets, gif sets, and/or banner type things for all of my new shows when the right mood hits me. Especially for Denpa Onna to Seishun Otoko, since Erio is cuter than a pile of kittens.
All of my plans for this long weekend fell through; so instead I started, and finished watching Ao no Exorcist. It's nice to watch an enjoyable Shounen every so often.
I liked it, and can easily recommend it if you're looking for a Shounen to watch. Not much else to say on it, so have some gifs.
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