Faruk

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you" - Maya Angelou

[farukal]

2 years Foolishness 2 years Foolishness 2 years Foolishness oolish nes

2 Tahun kebodohan,

2 tahun aku mencoba move on, 2 tahun aku bahkan ta bisa suka dengan yang lain, 2 tahun aku mau kamu,

Tapi selama 2 tahun itupun kamu gapernah suka aku, damn. Tolol.

[farukal]

Masih Punya Muka

Orang dewasa itu kalau ada apa apa ngobrol. Bicara.

to ya, jangan bicarain di belakang, kalau berani yauda, depan muka kan gak apa apa. Pebih enak, gausa capek-capek menyindir dan bercerita tanpa kejelasan sana dan sini.

u never knew who is behind you, friends or foes (?) we never know wkwkw.

kalau gasuka, ngbrol langsung kali.

[farukal]

Kamu Itu Harusnya..

Kamu itu harusnya hanya sahabatku..

eh, aku suka..

kamu itu harusnya pacar aku..

eh, kita cuma sahabatan..

kamu itu harusnya ini, kamu harusnya itu, tolol Pahmi. Bukan kuasamu, bukan keputusanmu, bukan hatimu itu.

jadi, lumatan kenikmatan duniawi itu hanya sebuah ilusi yang terjadi karena kita dimabuk hawa nafsu dan kebodohan saja ? Goddamnit, padahal, aku baper.

Jangan baper sama sahabat sendiri, sakit. Gak semua sahabat kayak Ayudia dan Dido, bisa nikah. Ada juga yang berakhir mengenaskan, iyakan.

Pahmi? Oh, he's a true tragedy, isn't he? A master of unrequited love, hopelessly devoted to someone who never even glanced his way. It's almost poetic how he keeps giving and giving, like he's waiting for a miracle that will never come. Really, you have to admire the dedication to his own heartbreak.

[farukal]

A K U

R I N D U

K A M U

.

.

.

1 minggu terakhir, aku banyak bersenang-senang, uangpun tak lagi kupikir.

Aku belikan uangku pada hal2 yang bisa membuatku merasa senang.

Tapi, hari ini, aku sadar, air mataku menetes, aku hanya kangen, tapi tak ada dayaku, kamu sudah bahagia dengan yg lain. Im Fucked Up, again, balik ke kamar, nangis, kangen.

[farukal]

Ketika berusaha sekeras mungkin, untuk terus setia dan menjaga.

Tp berakhir dengan ketidakpastian, bahkan berakhir dengan kegagalan.

Mencintai seseorang berlebihan adalah kelemahan Pahmi, Pahmi selalu saja menyerahkan segalanya atas nama cinta.

Bodoh.. dan terus diulang.

Pengalaman Pahmi, mengajarkan, sekeras apapun berusaha, jika memang tidak ada cinta, akan berakhir sebagai penghianatan bagi pihak yang terluka terlalu dalam.

Pahmi adalah laki-laki 26 tahun..

"Aa itu masih muda, masih 26 tahun, kok galau banget ditinghal pacarnya, selow aja A, jangan buru2, kayak aku beb, nikah, terus 2 tajun cerai, terlalu memaksa dan buru-buru" - Ujar Terapis refleksi kakiku Bernama Jenny, yang disambangi oleh Pahmi yang sedang ta menentu arahnya.

It is not just about being a lover, but Pahmi need to learn how to limit his love to other, it is just repeated, again, and again.. stupid.

[farukal]

Nona, aku tahu, bahkan untuk melirik ku sbeelah mata saja kau sudah muak.

Tapi Nona, ingatlah, jika kau suka rela meliriku kembali, aku akan melakukan yang terbaik untukmu.

Dan Nona, jangan takut, kali ini aku sudah siap, aku akan memberikan kepastian..

Jadi tolong Nona, tolong, berikan kesempatan kedua itu Nona, aku akan selalu mendoakan dan berharap.

Semoga Nona diberikan kesehatan, kebahagiaan.

[farukal]

She is so smart! And it means, she is SO SEXY, Damnit.

Move on tidak akan sesulit ini, ketika kamu menyukai seseorang sampai pola pikir dan sifatnya. :")

[farukal]

Day 9 : Post Some Words Of Wisdom That Speak To You

Okay yesterday i’m so lazy to write, because i have task to do from my office.

One, this words of wisdom is from Rumi, Persian Poet, islamic dervish and a Sufi Mystic. “You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?” - Rumi

Two, this quotes from Rumi too, this quotes is legendary

“You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens” - RUmi

Three, this words of wisdom is from Andrea Hirata, this is legendary quotes from Laskar Pelangi Novel

“Bermimpilah, karena Tuhan akan memeluk mimpi-mimpi itu” - Andrea Hirata.

[farukal]

Day 7 : List 10 Songs That You’re Loving Right Now

1. One More Light - Linkin Park

2. Only One - Yellow Card

3. The Panturas - Sunshine

4. Endah N’ Rhesa - Ssslow

5. Don’t Give Up On Me (With R3hab) - Andy Grammer, R3hab

6. Torn - Neck Deep

7. Oh well, Oh well - Mayday Parade

8. Heartache - One Ok Rock

9. Like We Used to - A Rocket To The Moon

10. Piece Of Your Heart - Mayday Parade

[farukal]

Day 6 : Five Ways To Win My Heart

One, let me play playstation/PC games all day long, and you stay beside me, that will be made my day.

Two, take me to a beach. Yes, I love beach that much.

Three, take me to a new city, and let us explore all the good food, yes I’am a foodie, and I’m proud of it.

Four, take me to the cinema, watching a good movie together.

Five, bring me an Aqua Botol when I’m playing Futsal, and wait for me in the sideline, support me :) wkwkw

[theblackoutofficial]

#Blackout for Minneapolis. For Louisville. For Toronto. For Brooklyn. #Blackout for Us All.

To the #Blackout Community and Tumblr at large, 

We know you must have a lot of questions or are feeling distressed about the news. The world has been dealing with a lot this year, and it is an especially harrowing time for Black Americans and Black folks abroad. We know your biggest question right now could be summed up by a quote from Toni Morrison:

“What can I do where I am?”

Here at #TheBlackout, we have decided to help you start finding an answer to that question - we feel that we need each other. We need unity, organization, a clear sense of direction, but more importantly, a space where you can be yourself without judgement or fear.

So, in addition to boosting your art and businesses, our highest priority right now is to provide you all with resources to help you start from where you are.

This is a masterpost of places you can donate, find mental health + spaces for radical self-care, and just do something fun. We will be adding on as things change. 

Donate/Boost/Sign:

Minneapolis Freedom Bail Fund  & Louisville Community Bail Fund 

Reclaim the Block

Black Visions Collective

The Official GoFundMe of George Floyd’s Family

Official Petition for Breonna Taylor 

Justice for Regis Official Fund

Tony McDade’s Memorial Fund

Black Lives Matter Network

Mental Health Resources:

Ethel’s Club - Black-owned and operated social club offering access to Black therapists and a multitude of creative events for People of Color. 

Crisis Text Line - A different approach to crisis intervention, Crisis Text Line offers you help when you text 741-741. You’ll be able to chat with someone who is willing to listen and provide you with additional resources.

Shine Text. – Black-owned! Sign up to receive cheerful texts and tips every day. 

Therapy For Black Girls - A Black-owned a directory to help you find Black therapists in your area. 

Tips for Organizing/Protesting:

Knowing your rights - ACLU

How To Prepare for a Protest. (Remember to wear a mask in or to protect yourself!)

A Twitter thread of suggested readings

Fun Online Communities and Things to Do:

Some of our favorite online communities. 

Nerd Culture: @blacknerdproblems, @superheroesincolor

Poetry and Literary Spaces: Cave Canem Literary Balms program for Black poets,  Nuyorician Online Open Mic Events, Well-Read Black Girl

Podcasts: Therapy For Black Girls, Strong Black Legends by Netflix’s Strong Black Lead, The Read with Crissle and Kid Fury.

Hobbies: #BlackBirdersWeek by BlackAFinSTEM (5/31 - 6/8), Wellness Week by Black Girl Gamers. 

Join us for the 5/31 Emergency #Blackout/#BlackoutDay here on Tumblr and Twitter. 

[staff]

Thank you to @theblackoutofficial for providing resources on knowing your rights, how to protect yourself, where to donate, and how to find mental health resources if you need them right now.

Tumblr has always been a fierce believer in free speech and the power it gives to the people who wield it. Throughout history, free speech has been the most important tool used to fight for racial and social justice. The protests being held in honor of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Arbery are no different. They are important. They should not be ignored or derided. The disproportionate violence Black people face from those who have power in our country is not acceptable. It’s on all of us, regardless of race, to stand up for what is right, to demand justice, and to demand change. 

Say their names.

Black lives matter.

[farukal]

Day 5 : List Five Places You Want to Visit

Satu, tempat pertama yang langsung muncul dalam imajinasi adalah Pulau Weh, karena memang sekarang berdasarkan posisi domisili bisa banget kesana. Cuma naik bus, sampai Banda Aceh, terus nyebrang ke Pulau Weh. Sudah ada Planning sebenarnya, namun memang karena keadaan ini memaksa diri ini belum bisa jalan-jalan kesana.

Source: phinemo.com

Sangat ingin untuk menjelajahi tempat-tempat di sisi barat Negara Indonesia ini, pantai dan lautan akan selalu menjadi tempat favorit untuk berlibur. Titik 0 kilometer di ujung barat ini adalah tempat yang bisa dijangkau, tapi tak bisa di jangkau kali ini :(

Kedua, salah satu tempat destinasi yang menjadi tujuan ku nanti adalah Penang, Malaysia. Why? Karena dari Medan penerbangan dari Kuala Namu itu langsung, dan murah sih, makanya sangat tertarik untuk kesana.

Source: travel.tribunnews.com

Karena kalau ke Malaysia terus ke Kuala Lumpur itu sudah biasa, makanya saya sangat ingin ke Penang sini, ditambah ada beberapa teman yang punya usaha disana dan bekerja juga disana, kayaknya bakalan asik kalau kesini, semoga BISA TAHUN INI, YOK BISA YOK!!!

Ketiga, suatu daerah yang ingin saya datangi selanjutnya adalah daerah yang masih ada di Indonesia juga, saya ingin menginjakan diri ke Tanah Papua sebenarnya, namun jika harus spesifik maka Raja Ampat adalah impian saya.

Source: IDNtimes.com

Kepualaun yang indah, bersama dengan julukan Raja Ampat sebagai ekosistem Terumbu Karang yang menjadi salah satu terlengkap membuat si pecinta laut ini ingin sekali kesini. Terutama jika kesini nanti bersama kamu, iya kamu, udah ganti tapi kamunya sekarang :D

Keempat, Kalau bermimpi itu boleh sejauh dan setinggi mungkin kan ya ? okelah, kalau begitu dua nomor terakhir akan saya dedikasikan pada tempat yang sepertinya akan jauh dari kenyataan hehe. Tempat selanjutnya adalah New Zealand, kemanapun asal kesana :(

Source: nativeindonesia.com

Perpaduan hamparan padang rumput, gunung-gunung tinggi, dan jalanan yang sepi, membuat saya ingin memutari negara ini menggunakan Camper Van. Seperti Dito dan keluarga hahaha...

Kelima, meskipun bejat-bejat gini juga, saya itu dulu 6 tahun sekolah di Islamic Fullday School gitu jadi tempat ini adalah selalu menjadi idaman, sekaligus menjadi impian saya untuk bisa memberangkatkan orang tua saya kesana.

Source: dikabarinberitanya.blogspot.com

Tentu saja, ini adalah tempat dimana semua traveller muslim harusnya merasa tergugah untuk kesana. Mungkin pendapat ini sangat subjektif dan tidak mewakili, namun setidaknya seperti itulah hemat saya hehe. Tapi, tidak semua memang harus kesina, itu ada pada pilihan selera masing-masing, namun, saya akan selalu menempatkan Ka’bah sebagai Top 5 bucket list tempat yang ingin saya kunjungi, bukannya seru kalau Ibadah sambil Travelling ? atau sekalian bulan madu yo ayookkk.. YOK BISA YOK!!!

[farukal]

Day 4 : Write About Someone Who Inspires You

Aku itu tidak pernah tahu jika di tanya siapa tokoh dunia yang menginspirasi aku, selalu tidak ada tokoh yang muncul di otaku ataupun di hati ku. Karena semua tokoh yang aku kagumi rata-rata itu ada dalam dunia fantasi, entah dari Anime, Film Fiksi ataupun Novel-novel fiksi.

oke aku ceritakan tokoh yang paling berpengaruh pada masa kecilku, tokoh itu adalah Captain Tsubasa, aku sangat terinspirasi dengan penokohan dia di Anime itu, dia adalah sosok yang sangat aku idamkan, aku adalah penggila sepak bola semenjak aku bisa mengingat sesuatu, dan saat itu, Tsubasa berhasil menanamkan falsafah kehidupan dia, “BOLA ADALAH TEMAN” sampe aku tidur memakai kostum bola Prancis tahun 2002, satu setel, dan memeluk bola sepak. Bahkan, aku sampe sering bicara dengan bola sepak, selalu, setiap hari.

Beranjak dewasa, SMA sampai kuliah dan sampe kerja kali ini, tokoh yang aku suka adalah Nicolas Flamel, yang ada pada Novel karya Michael Scott, dia adalah sosok seorang alkemi yang aku sangat suka. Dia berbuat baik, namun banyak kemunafikan yang tersimpan dalam dirinya, namun hal yang pasti dari Nicolas Flamel, dia sangat mencintai istrinya, tidak ada hal yang paling memukau dari Nico selain cinta dia yang bertahan berabad-abad kepada Paranelle Flamel. “aku ingin punya cinta abadi seperti itu, dan kemunafikan yang juga ada, karena itu adalah bagian dari menjadi manusia” Pahmi waktu itu hahah.

......

Pegeul pake bahasa inggris, karena ini tulisannya panjang, pake bahasa Indonesia aha hahha

[farukal]

Day 3 : What Are Your Top 3 Pet Peeves?

One, when my loved one suddenly become a NINJA, she can ghosting or vanish into a thin air like my favorite Shinobi Minato :( 

Two, I hate when someone often late comes to meeting or hang out. Or, someone who makes me late because I need to wait for her/him.

Three, IDK why, I'm always a competitive person, so I hate to lose to someone, something, or even to the rules, IDK why, but it feels really annoying to lose.. But currently I am trying to make peace with my competitiveness, because sometimes losing is giving us lessons, and losing is delayed victory.

[farukal]

Day 2 : Write Something That Someone Told You About Yourself That You Never Forgot.

Once upon a time, there is a girl that I never thought I will love her this hard. Once we go out just two of us, our first date (I wish 🤣), we were having fun, we ate Pempek NY Kamto, strolling around the mall, and the best part of that day is she agreed to accompany me shopping. She even helped me to choose the best color for me, and the color is green army. The clothes are historical for me, I still wear that jacket every time I can.

After that day, we keep contacting each other, and this is the main part of this story, She said “You are the first person I have dated after I broke up with my BF, and I only have one ex-lover” So, the story was she and her Ex is having been dating for many years, so you can imagine how my heart really touched by that word?

IDK, if she lied to me, but I just can’t resist how happy I’m when she told me that words. But that just a happy memory, right now she is having a new lover, and I’m happy for her, even it is really hurting me a lot. But, you know what, the most important thing is she is happy, and she will always be my special loved one.

[farukal]

Day 1: 10 Things That Made Me Really Happy

One, Listening to my favorite songs in the morning before leaving for work.

Two, Warm up my motorcycle in the morning, there is a good feeling when u push the starter button, and ur bike is turn on, made me feel ready to face the day.

Three, Empty office in the morning, i always love when my office is really quite when everybody haven’t come to the office, it is feel very peaceful.

Four, make a good jokes, when everybody is getting together and having chit chat, and i make a good jokes and everybody is laughing and happy, i feel very proud of my self, there is satisfaction feeling

Five, Have a delicious lunch, my favorite time to eat is lunch, so when i have a good meal I feel really happy. What you eat is what your body consume, when the meal is good, your body will feel it too.

Six, when i open a IG, i see your story. Just simple like that, whatever the content is about, it is always feels good when u post a IGstory or make a twit in twitter.

Seven, for now, have a face time with my mother is what the best for my day.

Eight, Knowing that the person i loved so much is getting better, getting stronger, and happy again with her life.

Nine, nice clip about Jogja, Yogyakarta is one of the best part in my life that never change.

Ten, when the person i loved is getting angry to me when i make mistake, idk is that normal, but i love when she angry to me, she is looking cute, adorable, and strong for me.

.........

i realize that writing about “You” is hardest part of this challenge, before i know everything, you are the center of my happiness, but right now, after i saw everything, you are the center of his happiness i think :”) i just wanna say, its hard to write about happiness when my heart is total mess right now, I Love U, for now.

[surat-pendek]

“Kamu.”

—

Semua orang melihat kata yang sama tetapi memikirkan orang yang berbeda-beda. // A.W.

Bandung, 12 Januari 2018.

(via surat-pendek)