A home without me. (Pt.1) (Pt.2 Here) (Pt.3) (Pt.4)
Lilia Vanrouge.
โDid you know that Briar Valley's General of the right has a child?
a/n: for those who alr read this on tiktok, i swear i rewrote some things๐ญ
You woke up peacefullyโtoo peaceful, almost. The kind of quiet that makes your chest tense because it feels unnatural, like the world is holding its breath. No matter, best get ready for the day.
Silver and Lilia had been clinging to you all morning, as usual. Honestly you weren't always sure where they always come from or why they insisted on shadowing you, but you'd long learned long ago that resistance was futile. So, you simply accepted it, let them. Your morning has become a practiced dance of subtle patience.
By the time morning classes were finished, you were navigating the cafeteria. Silver and Malleus walking silently beside you as Sebek ranted about god knows what, Lilia trailing with his calm measured steps. You slipped into your usual seat and began munching away, focusing on the simple rhythm of chewing and swallowing, disconnecting from the chaos of the world around you. For a few minutes, the warmth of food and the low hum of conversation was enough.
Then, a voice shattered it, "I CATEGORICALLY OPPOSE THIS!" You flinched, your fork pausing midair. You looked up, startled, as if the words itself was sharp enough to cut the air.
"Quiet down Sebek, we're in the cafeteria" a calmer, more measured voice chided.
"Malleus is right, you know. And besidesโits already been arranged," Sebek grumbled, clearly unbothered that everyone had stopped to watch. You raised an eyebrow, but remained silent. It wasn't your circus, not today. You were content to sit, observe and focus on the tiny comfort of your meal.
"I can't believe this...you lost your magic and you're... you're withdrawing from school?!" The words pierced through, and your eyes snapped to Lilia across from your seat, he met your eyes and let out a sigh, heavy and weary. "No need to make a production out of this," he said, voice calm but firm. "My magic has been weakening for years. It's been happening before you boys were bornโaside from [name]"
They continued to chatter amongst themselves, but all you could hear was a slight buzzing noise as you slowly slid back into your bubble of thoughts. Shouldn't you feel relieved? after all, he was finally stepping away, finally, gone, free from his duties, maybe even free from you.
But as you stared at him, a strange mix of feelings stirredโa quiet bitterness. Yes relief, faint and guilty. And an ache you didn't quite know how to name. For years, you'd trained yourself to survive, to accept distance, to build your own world without needing him. And yet now, seeing him step back, a part of you mourned. Not for his power, not for his magic, but a thought clawed its way from the depths of your soulโyou would miss him.
And then, like a whisper under it all, a thought pricked sharply at your chestโshouldn't i feel happy? You weren't sure, happiness, it seemed, was complicated when it had always been intertwined with absence.
As you slipped back into reality, the chattering around you slowly sharpened againโvoices returning, sound becoming clearer. "Im just being a selfish old man, really. There's no need to frown like that" Lilia laughed lightly, but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. Then his gaze shifted to you.
"And you make sure to look after these three, alright? they can be quite the handful" his tone was playful, yet gentle, then softened just a bit more. "But of course, don't forget to experience the world for yourself. Live for yourself, okay? i know...i know i should've chosen a better time to talk. But perhaps someday, we will." He finished. You looked away, brows furrowing before you could stop yourself, you swore you didn't care, you had spent years convincing yourself you didn't. But he was making it very hard not to.
"So Silver, Sebek, [name] will you help me sort my things out?" He continued pleasantly. Silver answered almost immediately, Sebek just as loud and dramatic as expected. Meanwhile you quietly slipped out your notepad and scribbled. "I can't, me and Yuu have something to do." You were one of the few people who knew about Yuu's dreamsโMickey. The mystery, the lingering question. It needed investigation, and you'd need every bit of help you could gather. You wrote again, slower this time. "Sorry"
Lilia blinked, then gave a soft smile "Hm, alright, it must be important if you look that hurried," He chirped. "What?! how dare you reject a task from Lilia-sama!!" Sebek immediately erupting, voice echoing, but Lilia cut him off with amusement as you stood up from your seat and walked towards where the first years sat.
it wasn't that you didn't care, it was that you didn't want to see him like that anymore. Didn't want to watch him fade, didn't want to stand there and choke on everything unspoken. A thunderclap roared outside. You froze mid-step.
It was unmistakable, you felt that lightning before, not just loudโheavy, almost emotional, it reminded you painfully of a certain dragon fae. You slowly turned, gaze drifting towards the table you all occupied.
Malleus sat rigidly in his seat, shoulders tensed, brows drawn, fist clenched tight against the table. A storm brew behind his calm faรงadeโeven without words, his distress was palpable. You weren't a mind readerโfar from it. But you didn't need to be. Malleus draconia did not handle loss well, and this wasn't just anyone leaving.
You swallowed, turning back again. forcing your feet to move despite the tightening around your chest. There was a pit in your stomach now, cold and unyielding. It felt like fate was circling overhead, watching, waiting. And you knew it wouldn't wait long. By the end of the weekโif not sooner, something was going to break. And none of you would come out of it the same.
It was the end of the classes for the day and Silver and Sebek were in Lilia's room, quietly helping him pack his belongings. The air felt strangely heavy, as if every item placed into a suitcase carried years of memories with it. Silver, searching through his drawers picked up an old candy tin. He blinked, a little uneasy "I hope this isn't from two years ago..." he murmured, prying it open.
Instead of expired sweets, he found something far more unexpectedโa neatly folded paper, a makeshift acorn bracelet, and a golden ring threaded onto a necklace chain. The ring seemed to hum faintly with familiarity. Silver felt his eyelids grow heavy, mind drifting, until, "Silver?"
Lilia's voice snapped him awake. Silver straightened and turned, holding up the tin when Lilia noticed the contents and Silver asked about the acorns. "If it's that old... shouldn't we throw it out?" the lighthearted tone vanished instantly "Absolutely not" Lilia snapped, sharper than usual. "Those are my most prized possessions" Silver froze.
"Prized?...but they look so old" "Hehe, why even Malleus is jealous of those two things!" Silver apologized for dismissing its importance. "And this paper, what is it?" Lilia stepped closer, picking up the paper with gentle care as if it were fragile, he unfolded the paper. Inside was your childhood drawing, one you'd once shyly handed him on a day when his stress had nearly swallowed him whole. A little you holding his hand, smiling like the world was safe simply because he was there. It was clumsy, childish...and precious. When you moved out of the cabin, Lilia went through what little you left behindโclothes, scattered belongings, and this paper, no plushies, no trinkets. Just this paper. He kept it, because it was proof, proof that once you loved him without doubt, before he ruined that.
His lips pressed into a tight line as guilt crept into his chest. He remembered his own voice back thenโcriticizing things normal children do. Pushing you when all you did was reach him. He folded the drawing again carefully, as if rough handling might erase the memory completely. "This one was from a child,"
He said softly, voice trembling with something raw. He knows that child is still there somewhere, "I'll just keep those acorns and the paperโmeanwhile..." Lilia than carefully returned the paper back into the tin, then pointed at the ring and lifted it up carefully. "This ring, it should return to its original owner." Silver blinked, "Original...owner?" Lilia placed it into Silvers palm. "It belongs to you" Something warm and aching settled in Silver's chest as he closed his fingers around it.
Meanwhile in ramshackle, you and your usual crowd were preparing for the mickey investigation. Ghost camera, phone with voice recorder and herbal tea were already prepared. However, Ace interrupted Deuce and Grim and reminded them of school reality back into the room and dragging everyone toward the dreaded topic of finals. The Adeuce duo were only allowed to be here to have a "study group" ...which they conveniently lied about and now paid for with towering stacks of books. Then Grim spoke.
"Y'know...if Yuu really does go back home before our sophomore year...do you think I'd still be allowed to stay here?" Silenced immediately swallowed the room. "i... can't imagine the headmaster being that cruel" Deuce said quietly, "At least... i hope he won't"
The mood shifted, gone was the earlier playful chaos, in it's place lingered something painfully realโthat one day, this warmth, this little found familyโmight end. Would they still laugh together? Would things fall apart? Would Grim be left alone? But that was a problem for the future, for now, they still had today.
Ace clapped his hands loudly, a grin appearing on his face "alright, mopefest is over!" the tension dissolved, replaced by familiar bickering and laughter as everyone eventually grew tired from studying and prepared to sleep.
Your eyes were closed when the rustle of bedsheets pulled you back into consciousness. You opened your eyes just enough to see Yuu getting up, soft light flickering outsideโLikely Malleus, you turned to your other side. it wasn't your business. And yet, a lingering feeling remained.
A few days passed and you were in the library, tucked away in your hidden corner, peaceful reading. The silence wrapped around you like a blanket while you mentally took notes of each character as the storyline pulled you deeper into their world of imagination. "[name]" The same was soft, careful, respectful of the library's hush. But you recognized it immediately, you didn't look up.
"What are you reading?" He asked gently. You lifted the book, showing him the cover and the back. His eyes scanned the text before lighting up just a little. "ohh... interesting, i didn't know you were into fantasy." You nodded and returned to reading.
Silence fell again. Lilia quietly took a seat beside youโnot too close, just near enough to feel present, but distant enough to respect a boundary you both silently acknowledged. He watched you longer for a moment longer than necessary.
another thing he was learning about you only now, something he could've known years ago if only he'd tried. But that was a regret he longer had the right to drown in "You take care, okay?" Your hand paused, you turned slightly, confusion flickering across your face at the sudden shift in tone. He chuckled softly, but there was no real humor behind it.
"I'm serious. I know you can take care of yourselfโgiven that...ah no, nevermind" A breath "i know I'll be far again soon. But, I'm glad i had this time beside you. Even if it was only for a short while" There it was, honestyโlate and fragile.
You pulled out your notepad and scribbled, "I know, and i don't want to talk about it." He gave a short nod "Right. My apologies" He reached into his pocket and slipped something into your book, a neatly folded letter.
"Silver and the others are throwing me a farewell party. Everyone will be thereโyou should come too. Silver will be sad if you're not there" His smile softened "Will then, enjoy your reading. Come if you can."
With that, he left your secluded cornerโthe place you thought only you knew. Somehow he always managed to find you anyway. You stared at the invitation for a long moment before opening it. A farewell party, hm?
If you went, you'd have to watch him leave again. Have to stand there, pretending it didn't hurt, pretending you were unaffected, pretending distance didn't reopen old wounds you'd stitch together alone, you'd have to face everything he meant and everything he failed to be.
But if you didn't go, you'd spend the night wondering, regretting knowing you let the last chance to stand beside himโno matter how bittersweet, slip away. You'd be haunted by "what ifs" and the image of him looking around the room again, hoping you'd be there.
both choices hurt. Your mind spun, the library suddenly too quiet, too still, too full of thoughts you didn't want to face. You just wanted to read, to stay in your stories where pain was distant and fictional. But reality had a way of finding you.
You slipped the paper back inside. It was fine, you've already decided. Even if your heart wasn't ready for what that decision meant. It was finally saturday night. The night of his departure
The diasomnia lounge was warm with laughter and chatter, lights glowing softly like captured fireflies. Students gathered in clusters, smiling, talking, pretending this wasn't a farewell. It was exactly the sight Lilia wanted to leave behindโno tears, no regrets, just joy. At least...that was the plan.
He scanned the room again. Silver was here, Sebek too. Even the rumbustious first years. But neither Malleus, nor you had arrived.
Malleus he could understand. The prince carried his pain differently. But you? You were different, he wanted to see you. Wanted to speak honestly for onceโwithout playful masks, without evasions, without time running like sand slipping between his fingers. He wanted to say all the things he never said when he should have, to apologize for the years he let slip by, for the ways he failed you.
If you chose not to come, he told himself he would accept that. He would understand, even if it hurt. Silver, of course refused to let things end like that.
Before Lilia could stop him, the boy darted off to search for both you and Malleus. Sebek tried to follow, but Lilia held him back, sending him instead to keep his fellow first years company. Ah youth truly was wonderful. He got swept into conversation after thatโlaughs, memories, lighthearted teasing. And only realized something had changed when a quiet presence settled beside him.
You had slipped in silently, unnoticed by all but him. His eyes widened for a heartbeat before a bright smile bloomed across his face. "Oh? Look at you," He chuckled, joy slipping into relief. "Come to wave your old man goodbye?" A few nearby first years noticed you and waved. You offered a slight mod, minimal but genuine.
"Would you be so kind to follow me for a moment?" He asked pleasantly, "It won't take long."
The balcony was too quiet, almost painfully so. The party's warmth felt distant, as if it belonged to another world. Here, only the night air carried only cold air and unspoken things. Lilia leaned against the railings, his posture casualโbut his hands trembled faintly, hidden by the shadows.
"You grew up well," He started softly, voice light but eyes unbearably heavy "Strong, capable. Stubborn, too. I suppose, i can only blame myself for that one" He laughed quietly, it wasn't cheerful, it sounded like something breaking gently.
Silence fell again, long, thick, suffocating. Then he exhaled "...I was so afraid of losing you," He admitted "Afraid of loving you too little, afraid that if i stayed close, i would ruin you. And if i stayed distant, i would ruin you anyway." His words fell out slowly, like they'd been locked inside for years and now they were bleeding out.
"I told myself you would be stronger if I didn't coddle you. That forcing you to endure would make you resilient" His gaze dimmed, guilt sharp and ugly in his expression "But that wasn't strength. That was me abandoning my responsibility. Dressing neglect up as "Tough love" He swallowed, you had never seen him look so small.
"I hurt you," He continued softly when you didn't say anything. "And you still stayed, still grew. Still managed to be someone kind, capable, a person worth admiring. Despite me, not because of me" His voice finally cracked.
"And now, just when i finally understand how deeply i failed you, I don't get to fix it, try again. I don't get to stay and learn how to love you correctly." He smiled then, it was the saddest smile you've seen on him.
"That's my punishment i suppose, to have a child who once loved me without fear, and knowing that I'm the reason they stopped" Your chest tightened, because he wasn't wrong. You still cared, still worried. Still watching him like something familiar and painful all at once. But the love you had as a childโthe love that was warm and brilliant and trusting, that version of you disappeared a long time ago.
"You don't owe me anything" He said, voice barely above a whisper "Not forgiveness or anything. Not even your presence here tonight. But i wanted you to know. I do love you imperfectly, selfishly, stupidly, but sincerely."
"And that sincerity feels meaningless now does it?" You didn't answer, you couldn't. Because inside your quietness, it was chaos.
You wanted to scream, hit him. To cling to him. To say he was right, to say he was wrong. To demand why you had to be the one to carry all the consequences of his choices. You wanted to tell him you did care, that you hadn't stopped worrying. That seeing him like this made something ugly ache in your chest.
But you also wanted to say you were tired, so painfully tired of loving people who left. Instead, your throat tightened and your fingers curled slightly, your only visible response. You hated that he still has this power over your emotions. You hated that it mattered. And deep, deep down. You hated that part of you still wanted him to stay.
Lilia watched you quietly, he seemed to read it all anyway "Even now," He murmured, almost fondly "You wont let yourself cry. Always so stubbornly composed. Always swallowing your feelings because someone once taught you they were inconvenient" You flinched. He sighed "I'm sorry i was that someone."
Your chest ached in a way no spell could heal. Because there it wasโthe truth you had waited for years to hear, arriving only when he was already halfway out the door.
It wasn't fair, none of this was fair. And the worst part? You still wanted to shout "Stay" even if you knew he wouldn't. Even if he couldn't.
He straightened, forcing a light smile again, like putting the mask back on hurt less than standing there vulnerable. "That's enough heavy talk for tonight" He murmured gently. "You deserve more than my regrets. You deserve a world that loves you better than i did" Before you could react,
"Vanrouge!" Crowley's voice shattered the moment, loud and intrusive. Your time was up. Lilia looked at you one last time. The kind of look that held years of unsaid things. And the crushing reality that they would stay unsaid.
"I hope," He whispered, "That someday, you can live without the weight i put on your shoulders." He smiled again. "Your carriage arrived, It's time."
Lilia let out a light laughโnot amused, just resigned. "Ah, looks like our conversation is over" He looked over at you with a smile, warm but bittersweet "I do hope there's a next time" And just like that, the moment slipped away.
Crowley ushered him back towards the others. The farewell beganโLilia smiling, laughing, waving.
Meanwhile you felt hollow. Not devastated, dramatic. Just painfully empty. Because every goodbye with him felt unfinished. Because just when he finally reached outโhe had to leave again. Because you missed chances that were never really yours to begin with.
When Lilia walked awayโthe world didn't follow. Breaths continued, the wind brushed past your skin. Laughter drifted faintly from somewhere elseโalive, careless, untouched.
But for you? Everything simply stilled.
You stood frozen on that balcony with a body that suddenly felt hollow, as if something had been quietly lifted from your chest and replaced with nothing but air. You had imagined, more than once, how this moment would feel if it ever came. You pictured anger, a sharp, burning satisfaction. Something loudโsomething dramaticโsomething that felt like victory. But instead in its place, silence.
A quiet ache that sits too deeply to cry out. A heaviness that doesn't fade when you blink or steady your breathing. A pain that doesn't scream, it settles. And somehow, that hurts worse.
Because he finally said the things you once begged the universe to hear. The apology you prayed for. The acknowledgement you insisted you didn't need anymore. Now that it's here, you can finally admit it: you always wanted it.
What you wanted wasn't an apology delivered when time had already run out. You wanted love when it could still change something. You wanted someone to stand beside you when you were still small and afraid. When the world towered over you and you hadn't yet learned how to survive it alone.
He said he was proud of how capable you becameโbut that was never the point.
You didn't want to become strong out of necessity. You didn't want to become independent because no one showed up. You didn't want resilience to be your inheritance.
And that truth twists inside youโheavy, bitter, exhausted. Because this is unfair.
You sighed quietly, moping wouldn't change anythingโso you did what you always done bestโignored it and tucked away your feelings into some abandoned drawer inside your chest before walking off the balcony.
The moment you stepped into the lounge, cheers and goodbyes washed over youโvoices wishing him luck, wishing him happinessโwhile you just stood there, frozen in place, unsure what you were supposed to do with yourself now.
And then, green smoke surged, twisting upwards as magical energy crackled through the air. Gasps echoed. Two figures form from the haze. Silver and Malleus. So Silver found him after all.
"Well, well..." Malleus spoke, voice smooth but trembling beneath the weight of emotion "Quite the glittering assemblage. Studentsโfaculty. Why, everyone's here!" Something in your stomach twisted.
His eyes shone with something far too intense. The air thickenedโthe atmosphere warped.
"I have a wonderful gift for you all," He continued, power thrumming beneath every word "No longer shall you shed tears over sorrowed goodbyes. This party marks not the end...but the beginning." You breath hitched "...Wait, is he?โ" You thoughts, you recognize this image.
The signs were unmistakable. The ink pulsing beneath his skin. The storm in his voice, the grief, the desperationโtoo sharp, too overwhelming. You could feel it, painfully clear. He was losing control.
The flames flared green, consuming the room's warmth and replacing it with suffocating magic. Thunder cracked, wind howling through cracks. His emotions spiraled, a storm tearing itself apart.
you've seen this too many times, you knew what came next. "You fool!" Lilia shouted desperately. "Do you understand what you're trying to accomplish?! What will change if you do this?!"
"I WON'T HAVE TO LOSE YOU!" Malleus roar split the air. He wasn't just talking about Lilia. He was talking about every goodbye. Every fear, every loneliness. Every moment he was left behind.
"I won't have to be left anymore" That was what he meant. That was what hurt.
You almost laughedโbitter, humorless.
He didn't want to lose Lilia. And yetโwhat he was about to doโhe would lose everything. "Fae of Maleficence!" Malleus changed. Lilia's voice yelled his name.
Flames surged outward, heat roaring like a beast unleashed. Instinctively, Lilia rushed toward you, pushing you back, shielding you from the first violent flare. Your eyes shot at Malleusโink swallowing him whole.
He spoke the incantation of his signature spell. Voice echoing through the hall as magic exploded outward. Green light surged like a tidal wave, swallowing bodies as students dropped instantly, lulled into enchanted slumber.
The magic brushed against youโwarm, soft, deceptively gentle. It felt like a lullaby. Like warm hands in your hair. Like someone whispering "Rest, it's alright" your eyelids grew heavy, you fought it, you always fought everything.
But someone's voice whispered in your ear, tender and reassuring, and your strength slipped away. Your body went weak, your vision dimmed, the world faded.
And you fell into darkness.
Wiegeโ 6FU and BL8M
DNA guaranteeโ Kodi Rhianne
The handโAnnabelle Dinda
Harpy Hareโ Yaelokre















