sell your soul. @fastidiium - Tumblr Blog

fuck, Demi. just stop thinking about it.

....I'm kinda glad it's not. I don't think I could stand to be around another me.

#I don't know how Mads does it.#I would feel so sick if I saw him kissing another me.#how can he /want/ that.#t.

I asked Hawthorne if there's a way to like. clone me and my memories, make a perfect duplicate for Rook, but. she said that's not really possible.

#t.

need to get this off my mind, I'm just making myself more upset.

#t.

I hate that he thinks my heart is that simple.

#t.

I love him but.... fuck. it feels weird to think he's just. that okay with me also dating another guy who has memories of me but I have no memories of or personal connection with...? are all three of us supposed to go on dates, or am I supposed to split my time with Mads in half? if they have the same memories, are we supposed to keep making the same memories all together, or different ones? they dress differently, they enjoy different things. it feels like I'm expected to just. instantly be in love with my boyfriend's twin. fuck. fuck I hate this so much. I hate that my boyfriend asked me to love another man.

#t.

what about whats fair to me, though?

#t.

uh.

#how the fuck am I just supposed to... answer something like that?#t.

and then if I'd just come home sooner I could have at least spent the night with Angel!

#hope she's having fun.#t.

this isn't how it's always going to be, right? him sharing the biggest moments with his friends while I just come around when no one else is

no. no no no. I'm just. really bitter today. I don't know why this got to me so bad.

#I just #like him a lot.#I want to be there with him always #especially for the big important moments.#but not unless i'm really /wanted/ there #not just by him but #by his friends too

man I wish I wasn't such a jealous idiot.

#t.

oh.

#t.

I guess I should just. go try and make it up to Angel.

#t.

Angel was pretty pissed about the timing of me rushing out so I can't even turn around and go home.

#t.

Angel was pretty pissed about the timing of me rushing out so I can't even turn around and go home.

#t.

I'm glad he's hanging out with his friends. I'm glad, really.

#I just didn't think I was coming over here to see him off.#t.

and if it follows me to work then, well.

#trespassing in a federal law enforcement agency?#good luck.#t.

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sell your soul.