“Oh, crap! It’s a miracle!”
“Things don’t exist simply because you believe in them.”
“I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”
“Why don’t you just go to hell!”
“This is a cool way to die!”
“Every time I interfere, I only make things worse.”
“You’re better off solving your own problems.”
“Right and wrong are just words. What matters is what you do.”
“This is, by a wide margin, the least likely thing that has ever happened.”
“I feel like I just went ten rounds with Mighty Thor.”
“I feel like I got mauled by Jesus.”
“I don’t believe that story for a second.”
“When you were a kid, what was your biggest fantasy?”
“It’s very important that you never, ever tell anyone. Under any circumstances!”
“I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside, where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.”
“As if our lives weren’t miserable enough already.”
“Let the punishment commence.”
“I think I saved us somehow.”
“Stop right there. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Isn’t there anything else you can tell me?”
“Better we should die than have her learn the shameful truth of her origin.”
“This is the happiest moment of my life!”
“I just hope they like me.”
“Don’t you know anything about girls?”
“Well, I don’t remember any of that. But I don’t have the wherewithal to defend myself.”
“Hey, hey, we can all fight when we’re drunk.”
“If I could feel anything right now, it would be pride.”“I feel terrible about what happened.”
“If you’ll accept my apology, I hope we can put this embarrassing incident behind us.”
“No beer until you’ve finished your tequila!”
“I’m not familiar with the sort of thing I’m seeing.”
“Why do these popular kids consider you cool all of the sudden?”
“I’m afraid the answer is a gritty, in-your-face, no.”
“I’ve been a fool. A fully-justified, prudent fool.”
“I forgot you could tempt me with things I want.”
“I’m sorry for insulting your intellect. Your tiny, tiny intellect.”
“I may not be clever, but I have a good heart.”
“I can throw up on a stripper anytime. Tonight I want to not throw up on you.”
“I’m so angry! But also sad. But I’m still pretty angry. But … also sad.”
“I could eat. And fertilize.”
“My whole life I’ve been mad at him. And it wasn’t his fault.”
“I have to admit, I was afraid you wouldn’t make it.”
“Wait! Can I still change my mind?”
“That’s the dumbest thing anyone has ever done.”
“Admit it! You don’t care about the inner me at all!”
“I don’t know what to do! Do you think I should eat more butter?”
“I have everything I ever wanted. Money, wealth, riches.”
“I’m attracted to you as I’ve ever been!”
“In another city, we could be anyone we want.”
“Go. Go now, before I beg you to stay.”
“I like killing brave things.”
“Get out! It’s not fun anymore! I want to be alone!”
“I tried to scream, but I barfed.”
“I’ve never been so moved. And I see no reason to begin now.”
“I do love a man in uniform.”
“So he didn’t really want to marry me?”
“There’s never a cop around when you need one.”
“Funny thing about destiny. Sometimes fate has other plans.”
“I have no idea what’s going to happen next.”
“I’m a pathetic freak. My life is over.”
“I’ll never have another moment of happiness.”
“She has issues. I’m fine.”
“I don’t wanna hit on anybody I already had sex with.”
“I’m scared and great at sex!”
“I wish I could go with you, pal.”
“There’ll never be another like him.”
“I refuse to believe anyone is happy!”
“Thank you for being my hero.”
“I was going to ask you to marry me!”
“I deserve this, and more. Keep it coming.”
“Oh God, what have I done?”
“Don’t hug me, I’ve done a horrible thing!”
“For God’s sake, somebody teach me a lesson!”
“I find both genders supremely disappointing.”
“Never bet against me being stupid.”
“Really, what are we missing out on by not having sex right now?
“Being human isn’t just about being happy.”
“Welll…Hello from the neck down.”
“Did you know there are more than two feelings?”
“I suppose I should know your name if I’m going to be drinking ten gallons of alcohol with you.”
“I guess I’m just feeling uneasy about us being so on-again off-again.”
“If it were up to me, we’d be on all the time.”
“If we were together, where would we be ten years from now.”
“It’s time for me to leave and make a fresh start.”
“It’s good to see you. Is it good to see me?”
“I just don’t get why you have to flirt with every bad boy in sight!”
“Of everyone I’ve ever dated, you are probably in the top ten.”
“You always say just the wrong thing in just the right way.”
“Everything will be okay so long as my parents don’t find out.”
“You’re just jealous, because you’ve never known true love!”
