What have I done to myself!?
It’s actually impressive how you managed to treat your body like a buffet and your discipline like a suggestion, you fat slob. You didn't just let yourself go, you launched yourself into a complete state of decay. You used to be lean, but now you’re just a walking cautionary tale about what happens when a man gives up on every single thing that ever made him attractive. Looking at you now, it’s hard to tell where your neck ends and your chin begins, you’ve officially transitioned from 'athletic' to 'industrial-sized’. You’re not even big anymore, you’re just a vast, undulating landscape of regret. You’ve gone from being a man people looked up to, to a man people look at and wonder if your heart is actually fighting for its life every time you walk to the fridge. You’ve traded your muscle for lard and your confidence for a breathing problem. You aren't a former fit guy, you're just a whale that forgot how to swim, gasping for air in a sea of your own poor choices.
