Hey all it’s been an absolutely fun ride knowing you all. Me and Sawyer are off to Belfast with Ror so that I can become a surgeon before I’m old and grey, and so that I can show him the better side of the Atlantic (no offense). I’ve left a box of top notch early 2000′s inspired clothes for ya’ll to pick through in Sawyers suite, and Sawyer has kindly left a box of paperbacks that can be his little library for the school root through and have fun. Bye!
Text: And ever and ever and ever. Okay, yes. Sorry. You’re right. Ah, I gotcha. Sounds like a decent life plan, though it’s fine for you, you can fit in the little pixie doors carved in the trees. I’ll have to beg a witch to turn me into a tree or something at night…or maybe a shrinking spell.
Text: At the end of the day, we love each other and we’re going to make this works, and we’re also adults who can make rational decisions. I’m not holding out for a big fancy house or expensive things or constant vacations. I mean, I wouldn’t say no to having enough room for a mini-library, but I’m already halfway there. That doesn’t sound weird at all, I love zoos. And I’ve always wanted to go to Belfast, because you’ve genuinely made it sound great. And Rory has, even if that pub he worked at seems a bit…fantastical.
Text:…There’s nothing stopping us from going, really.
Text: Hey don’t be sorry, I just I wouldn’t want you to have to compare your Dad to what my Dad is like. I know how important his memory is to you and Fae. Or we could just ask for a really, really big tree to live in, like one of those giant ancient oak trees or something.
Text: We are, we already budget a lot of our expenses and I’ve lived by myself before so I know how to get a handle on bills. I mean I was thinking more about just being able to pay for whatever it is that you decide you want to do, and for a nice house without a mortgage and maybe the odd first edition. We don’t need anything exactly, but it would be nice. I miss it there, and I’d love to show you. I mean we can’t just.. leave..can we?
Text: No offence to BPB, but I don’t think I’d want someone 6″5, I get weirded out by the height difference.
Text: I just feel like, he or she are never going to show up here. What if they’re somewhere else? What if we’re not meant to meet in an institute? Half the people here, they don’t know me. They don’t want to know me, that’s fine. But they’re all slowly peeling off, coupling together. I thought I’d feel free once I broke up with Max. But he was never the problem. There’s not a problem I guess…just….I don’t know..
Text: I’m just thinking maybe this place is too small for me, right now. I keep thinking back to when I told you I’d never been to Paris, and why not? I have the money, the resources. I was waiting for years for someone to take me, my dads promised us when we were little and obvs never did. And I would watch movies and TV and think I’d need someone to take me there, to sweep me off my feet, profess their love for me at the Eiffel Tower, eat a croissant, take me to the Louvre where we’d be underwhelmed with the Mona Lisa. Why not take myself? I still wear my choker, I still identified as self-collared. I owe it to myself to make this shit happen, and travel to Paris, and Venice, and all these other places I was hoping someone would take me to.
Text: Height differences are cute.
Text: I mean.. I guess you never really know whether someone is going to show up or not, that’s kind of how love works. I had no idea that I was going to walk through the doors here and see this stupidly tall boy who for someone reason is the person who’s perfect for me.. but I did. I get it though.. even though I don’t really want to because the thought of you actually going anywhere makes my heart hurt so badly. I always thought that I’d walk into the pub back home and my person would be like hanging out by the fire reading a book or something but I had to travel all the way across the Atlantic ocean to find him.
Text: I want you to see Paris, I do. You deserve to eat croissants and to wander around the streets like Blair Waldorf.. even though I’m actually super biased against the French for no reason at all. You should be able to take yourself anywhere you want to go, you should see the world because you’re young and beautiful and I just know you’re going to have the best time.. you know. I just wish it didn’t mean I wasn’t going to have to not see you everyday. You don’t need someone else to be happy.. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned at this stupid school it’s that you’re the coolest person in the entire world.
Hi Regina! I saw...well, all of the nonsense going on yesterday, and I hope you're okay <3
Thank you angel, I’m doing okay for the moment just about to head out to dinner with Sawyer, my Mom and Maurie. You must come for lunch with me and Maurie tomorrow, she’s dying to meet you.
I’m really glad to hear it, and I’m sorry you had to deal with all that. I’d love to! I’m excited to meet Maurie, she always sounds kind of like a superhero when you talk about her. And honestly I’m a little bit honored that I was worth a mention to her!
It’s okay, my Dad is just.. a lot. Great, I’ll drop you off the cutest little look that you can rock and then I’ll try to persuade Maurie to take us for a spin in the apology Porsche. Of course you were worth a mention my little nugget!
Text: Forever, and ever. Always. I’m so sorry you have to deal with him as your dad. My dad…well, from what I remember about him, he could be careless and tactless with his words, but that was always the drink. Your dad is a whole other story. Just four? I thought there’d be more than that.
Text: Don’t be sorry, please.
Text: I mean, financial stability is obviously one great bonus about getting a claim approved with no issue, but we’d manage, no matter what. Sometimes I feel we have the odds stacked against us, but nothing’s ever stopped us before. I love you so much, Fauna Eloise and I’m willing to do anything it takes to have you in my life for the rest of it. I honestly hope I do impress them, even knowing your dad won’t like me no matter what. I’m glad we can share things with you. Speaking of sharing, if there was one place you wished you could be right now…where would it be?
Text: Forever and ever and ever. Hey your Dad and my Dad lets not compare them okay? Collin Flanagan isn’t worth it, nobody should have to be compared to him. Four good ones, after that I plan to be totally useless like just become a total bum or be like feral and move to the woods.
Text: Of course we’d manage, I’ve never had the kind of money that we’re talking about here before and I’ve always worked and so have you. We’d make anything work. I feel that way too sometimes, but at the end of the day I always just know that if I can come home to you.. i’ll be happy. I love you too Sawyer Thomas, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to be with you. You’re going to, I know it. This is going to sound weird, but I keep daydreaming about us going to Belfast zoo. Rorys stupid mate Dobsy used to work there and like.. whenever I’m really upset and I just don’t want to be in the situation anymore. I imagine I’m showing you around there, and then the bad things don’t bother me anymore.
Who: Fauna Flanagan, Collin Flanagan @theflanaganfamily and Sawyer Hudson @sawyerhudson
When: Monday the 21st of September
What: Fauna has a difficult conversation with her father that has consequences for her and Sawyer
Warnings: Verbal Abuse, Slut Shaming, Dissociation
In hindsight it would probably have been wiser to answer at least one of her fathers phone calls before he arrived beyond that one call that had come from Mauries phone that she’d slammed down once she’d heard the tell-tale voice on the other end. Because now here she is sitting on the edge of a bed that she doesn’t sleep in, stomach in knots as he prowls around the little room like a trapped animal. He’s not yelled at her yet, but she knows him well enough to know that he’s biding his time, waiting for some small offense so that he can explode.
“It’s fucking small isn’t it?” He comments, voice sharp in the empty room. Fauna is glad once again that Sylvia is nowhere to be seen, her friends smile out of their photographs on the wall behind her but that somehow makes the whole thing weirder.
“I guess, though my first-year accommodation at uni was about the same size? We just didn’t have roommates there, it’s pretty common over here in America though.. even at like Yale and stuff.” It’s taking her a moment to get used to seeing him here in the flesh again, she almost forgot that him, Maurie and her Mom were real people until they were hugging her this morning. She’d dressed herself carefully before she left, leaving off her extensions in favour of her natural hair, replacing the bright pink and purple eyeshadow that she loves with enough make up that there’s nothing to criticise on her face but not so much that Collin would consider it ‘too much’. Trainers instead of heels, a dress that stretches closer to her knees than her ass, everything that Collin considered to be respectable but still feminine. Sawyer had given her his hoodie though and she’d taken it despite the fear that it might provoke comment. He’d promised her that she looked perfect in between sniffles and coughs, apologising that he couldn’t go with her today, and telling her that he was just a text away and to send photos. Part of her wishes that he was here holding her hand, but most of her is glad that he isn’t, he’d be oversized and hunched over trying to sit on the bottom bunk with her.
“You don’t sleep here though do you?” Collin accuses, rounding on her and puffed up to his full height. He’s always loomed over her, it used to scare her when she was younger, but it was a lot less intimidating now that she associates tall with safe.
“No, I stay with Sawyer most of the time or occasionally with Ror.” She admits freely standing up from the bed, she’d told Maurie that already and she knew it would make it’s way back to her father. She wasn’t ashamed, and Sawyer wasn’t something dirty, she wanted her Dad to understand that he was apart of her life. She wasn’t sure that Collin could really like anyone, but she’d love it if he at least didn’t actively disapprove. “I can show you there later if you like, but we’ll have to be quiet because Sawyer is sick.”
“Sickly is he? The Yank?” More accusations, but manageable ones.
She shakes her head, and smiles telling herself that she doesn’t have to be on edge. “No Da, he’s a football player, a really good one actually. It’s a real shame that you might not see him play. He’s just got the flu, hopefully he’ll be right as rain in a couple of days and you can meet him properly. He really wants to meet you Da, to make a good impression.”
"What does his father do?” Collin asks, as he picks up the picture of her and Alexis at their latest cheerleading contest that sits on her nightstand. “Is he also associated with the St James girl?”
Fauna worries her lip. “His father actually passed away when he was younger.. But his step father owns a garage, Sawyer worked there for a little while before he came here.. He’s not really friends with Alexis no.. she’s my friend.” She knew Alexis might be a sore point, her fathers views were never going to fly with Collin but Fauna had made sure to plant the information that her and Alexis had scened with Maurie so that he would know that her best friend wasn’t anti system.
“And what does he intend to do?” Collin asks with a flash of something dangerous in his eyes, that made Faunas heart start faster, but she’d prepared for this. Practiced answers in the mirror, memorised flash cards to field these very questions.
“Sawyer has a lot of different options he’s exceedingly talented in a number of areas, I think at the moment literature is his main passion.. He had an acceptance from Yale a few years ago so I think studying there is still very much an option.. He might want to teach in the future.” Keep it vague was always the goal, because vague could be revised later without any questions that would stick.
Collin laughs and she knows that somehow she’s fucked it, somehow despite all her rehearsal she’s managed to say the wrong thing as always. “And what you mean by that is that he doesn’t fucking know what he wants to do, I looked him up you know. He’s a drifter, he’s had just about as many jobs as you’ve had cocks between your legs and no fucking degree to speak of. Does he know about your trust fund, is that how you finally got someone to consent to be seen with you after being looser than a barnyard whore all these years?”
She takes a shaky breath, she’s used to Collin bringing up her past and she knows that it doesn’t matter to Sawyer. “He doesn’t know about the trust fund he just likes me Da. I swear he’s not just after money I promise.” Fauna knows that she sounds like a child, but she hadn’t been prepared for this line of questioning.
“What does he offer you though? You stupid girl. Do you not fucking remember when you called me and begged me to get you out of the last mess you got yourself into? You probably don’t. Because you never fucking think before you open your damn legs.” Collin snarls, and Fauna blinks back tears of surprise she’d forgotten what it felt like when her Dad was really angry when he was actually coming at her. “At least Harold was fucking respectable, you were so lucky he was willing to take you after the trail of shite that you’ve left on the internet for any fucker to have to wade through. The fact that a respectable man like that was willing to take you on despite all that was something you should have been more than grateful for.. And yet despite that I still bailed you out when you called me, which is more than I should have done. I should have clamped that damn collar around your neck myself and been done with it. Because what have you done with your time here? Found yourself some pretty boy without two fucking euros to rub together, who’ll probably leave you in six months once he’s had his fucking fill of you. You keep telling me you want to be a fucking surgeon, and your teachers were always telling me that your head wasn’t between your legs but so far I don’t see you having anymore brain cells than that mindless brother of yours. Harold was telling me that he could have gotten you a cardio fellowship, what will the Yank give you besides ten kids that I’ll have to pay for?”
The brunette gulps down her sobs now, trying to form some kind of coherent argument. “He won’t Da.. I swear.. We’ll get claimed and I’ll make you proud. I’ll still be a surgeon, Sawyer supports me going back to med school.. He’s willing to go anywhere that I apply, I didn’t want to do cardio.” She tries, but she thinks the backchat somehow makes Collin argrier.
“Oh whopdee fucking do the Yank supports you. God it’s the same old shit with you Fauna, that’s not providing anything you can’t fucking live on support. You and your brother have no concept on how the real world works, out there you have to have someone to fucking rely on. You clearly take care of yourself since you couldn’t even go away to university without whoring yourself around so much that you had to leave. Can’t even be trusted to take care of your fucking brother considering he’s still as much of a waste of space as he was when I fucking sent him here, so please tell me what I’m fucking investing in?”
“I’m sorry Da.” Is all she can manage, but somehow she knows that by not having anything better to say she’s feeding into what he already thinks of her. Stupid, weak Fauna.
“Don’t be fucking sorry girl, do something for christs sake.” Collin rages, as Fauna swipes at the tears on her cheeks. “You think this claim is actually going to do something for you, then you better get it approved the first time. They better fucking sing your praises when you come out of that office, because if I don’t get a glowing fucking review of that boys level of control over you, if I don’t hear that you’re a perfect submissive then you can kiss your trust fund goodbye. You’ll be on your own, there has to be consequences when you fail from now on. Because something between you and your brother isn’t clicking, and you’re too old for me to keep coddling the both of you.” Fauna lets out a shaky little breath, first time, they had to get past the heads first time after what the headmaster had said about her needing a high status claim. She was confident that Sawyer was the perfect Dominant for her, but she wasn’t as confident that their claim was the kind of claim that the school would easily approve.
She opens her mouth to talk to try to reason with her father, but he’s already shaking her head. “Don’t Fauna Eloise. You’re not going to change my mind, you’re going to get your head out of the clouds and you’re going to be a decent submissive or you’re going to face the consequences. I’ll see you tomorrow for breakfast, with a decent attitude and then we’ll see about this boy.” The submissive nods, as she blinks back more tears and Collin retreats with the same kind of self congratulating smile that he always has after he’s finished one of his rants.
Fauna isn't really sure how or when she made it up off her bunk and back to Sawyers, because by now her brain has decided that she was never really gone. It had all been too much, so it didn't happen. Collin hadn’t yelled, and there were no threats or cutting remarks. There was no pressure on her or Sawyer. In her mind she decided that Sawyer was too sick for her to leave, so she'd simply told her parents that she couldn't meet them today and just stayed where she was cuddled into his chest in bed. Rory had come to visit at lunch, and she'd forced both her boys to have soup. It had been a quiet day, and she'd regretted not seeing Maurie or her Ma, but it had been the right call.
"Kitten? When did you get back?" The raspy voice is what finally begins to melt the illusion, Fauna blinks, her eyes looking down at her wrist.
"Get back?" She asks, confused for a moment. Dolphin, shamrock, star, moon, book, kitten. She had been with her Dad, gone a few hours maybe? "Oh from my Dad.. I don't know, a little while ago?" Brown eyes flicker from her wrist to the door, where Sawyer is standing in the doorway to the bedroom, the whole apartment darker than she feels like it should be.
"From your Dad? Were you with him all this time? I thought you'd have gone to Six rehearsals by now." Sawyers voice sounds terrible and she wants to tell him to stop straining himself, but she's too caught up on the 'all this time' comment. Reaching for her phone she turns on the screen momentarily, stunned by all the messages on screen and the little clock which had somehow melted from 2pm to 9pm without her noticing. She doesn't want to lie to Sawyer about her day or where she's been, so she doesn't. Instead she stands up from where she discovers that she was perched on the floor in front of the couch, limbs aching from being stuck in the same position for so long.
"Why are you out of bed Mr, back through with you. Doctors orders." She jokes hoping that her voice doesn't sound as shaky as her body feels. He looks like he might hesitate so she plasters a smile on her face. "I'll make us some soup for dinner and then I'll be through in a minute. Promise."
“Kitten-“ He starts, he knows her too well at this point.
“Please don’t.” She begs, she’s not ready to talk about it yet. She’s not sure what will happen when she actually has to explain what was said, besides she doesn’t want to stress Sawyer out when he’s already sick. “I’ll talk about it.. Just not now.” Is her promise. She can’t start this now, because she knows it will only upset him so she just keeps begging him with her eyes not to push it and after a long moment of looking her he bends.
“Okay.. we’ll talk about it later.” He relents, and she nods gratefully as he disappears back into the bedroom. Tomorrow she’ll have to tell him, and at some point she’ll have to think about actually introducing him to Collin but for now she just wants to pretend that there’s nothing beyond the soup in the microwave and her boyfriend waiting for her in the bedroom.
Text: Kids walk everyday. A live Houswives fight is a rare occurence. You don’t need to imitate us, even if your Valley Girl is getting better, to my reluctant admittance.
Text: Once we’ve graduated, it sounds like a plan. It hurts to see the people you love upset. Especially when you feel like you can’t do anything to stop the cause of their upset. I really love you, F.
Text: I mean you’re just not wrong, you’re wise like yoda. I mean it’s fun to imitate you, admittedly valley girl is more fun than Sawyers because I’m never gonna get it right
Text: You do so much for me just by being my friend A, I appreciate it so much you being here for me and chatting to me.
Text: Okay, good. I promise to never like him, then. Okay, I hope he’s okay. I can’t imagine what he must be going through, I thought he was really brave though, standing up to your dad like that. You’ve got a good brother who clearly loves you very much to stand up for you like that. You’ll meet them one day, it’s fine. We have the time.
Text: I…okay. That is, a lot to take in. Give me a minute?
[…]
Text: I want to be in a claim with you, and I can’t promise how many tries it will take. I know things are complicated, because you’re like halfway to being a surgeon and I don’t have a degree, and I doubt being accepted into Yale and not going is going to be impress anyone. I just wish there was a better way I could prove that I can take care of you as your Dominant, and also give you the freedom as your own person. But we’ll figure it out, we always do. The trust fund…that’s a wild concept honestly. Never, ever apologise Kitten, okay? Especially not about stuff like this. You didn’t have to tell me any of this, you know? But I’m glad you did.
Text: Thank you, I’d have been ever so sad if you didn’t agree to hate him forever with me. I hope he’s okay too, Rory can bounce back from a lot of shit but my Dad really gets under his skin you know? He’s the kind of guy who knows exactly what to say to fuck with people. He’s the best brother in the world, and I love him so much. I know, hopefully I’ve got at least four good years left in me.
Text: Of course, I’m sorry for word vomiting as usual.
Text: I want to be in a claim with you too, no matter how many times it takes. I don’t care if he takes the stupid trust fund away.. I mean I’d like it because it would mean we had a really secure lifestyle and we’d have financial flexibility but it’s not more important to me than us.. You’re plenty impressive, and I know Maurie and my Ma are going to think so too. I don’t have to but.. I feel like it’s good that I do, you’re my partner in all this and I should share things with you.
Hi Regina! I saw...well, all of the nonsense going on yesterday, and I hope you're okay <3
Thank you angel, I’m doing okay for the moment just about to head out to dinner with Sawyer, my Mom and Maurie. You must come for lunch with me and Maurie tomorrow, she’s dying to meet you.
Text: Welcome to Flanagan family legends 101, when my rat bastard father claimed Maurie without telling my mom and without telling Maurie what she was walking into. Maurie threatened to leave because she did not sign up to be a home wrecker, so Collin begged her to stay and bought her the now infamous vintage apology Porsche. I don’t think so, I think he needs to cool off.
Text: Theres no reason he shouldn’t like you okay? You’re the most amazing Dominant and boyfriend and everything in the world. He’s just going to decide to hate you because you’re not a fifty year old white man who makes my life a misery. We’ll ease him into that one, start with how good you are at football.
Text: Okay, wow. That’s a lot to take in. The more I learn more about your dad, the less I like him, just so you know. Well, he knows we’re here for him right? If he needs us? Between your family and whatever’s going on with Quinn, I am grateful my family couldn’t come.
Text: Well, apologies for not being gross and old. Yes, I think that’ll be safe. He’s probably got a lot of questions about our future together, right?
Text: Literally nobody likes my Dad don’t worry ... and honestly if you did like him I’d be a little weirded out. I’m going to go and see him tomorrow, make him some breakfast and see how he’s doing. I just want to give him some time, yesterday was really hard on him. I’m sorry I couldn’t meet your Mom and Burt, but I’m glad they aren’t here to see all this because they seem like good people.
Text: I have to share some things that he’s said about our future... because he’ll bring them up I wanted to wait until you were feeling better. Also I want you to know I don’t expect anything of you, you know that I love you and I want to be with you but we’ve not talked extensively about claims or anything. But he told me that if we can’t get a claim through the first time, then I won’t get my trust fund. Which I also hadn’t mentioned, because I didn’t want to freak you out. God.. I swear I’m not like keeping things from you, I just.. I don’t want to like overwhelm you with things. I’m sorry Sir.
Text: Maurie says we can borrow the car to meet them, and one should never turn down the chance to drive the apology Porsche. My Dad wants to meet for a pint afterwards, but I absolutely don’t mind going alone and I mean that Sir.
Text: The apology Porsche? I do like the sound of that. Is Rory coming to dinner?
Text: I’ll come with. I need to meet him sometime, and we might get the fact I’m teetotal out of the way, if I’m right about that certain Irish stereotype?
Text: Welcome to Flanagan family legends 101, when my rat bastard father claimed Maurie without telling my mom and without telling Maurie what she was walking into. Maurie threatened to leave because she did not sign up to be a home wrecker, so Collin begged her to stay and bought her the now infamous vintage apology Porsche. I don’t think so, I think he needs to cool off.
Text: Theres no reason he shouldn’t like you okay? You’re the most amazing Dominant and boyfriend and everything in the world. He’s just going to decide to hate you because you’re not a fifty year old white man who makes my life a misery. We’ll ease him into that one, start with how good you are at football.
Text: Maurie says we can borrow the car to meet them, and one should never turn down the chance to drive the apology Porsche. My Dad wants to meet for a pint afterwards, but I absolutely don’t mind going alone and I mean that Sir.
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