How much for my beautiful and sleepy son, Orpheus? He is a very big boy but healthy according to his vet
Big Orpheus in fine condition! What great news! Large Orpheus now on the market for the healthy price of only $33.10!

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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@helenoftroydidnothingwrong
How much for my beautiful and sleepy son, Orpheus? He is a very big boy but healthy according to his vet
Big Orpheus in fine condition! What great news! Large Orpheus now on the market for the healthy price of only $33.10!
Reblogging this manually. Op doesn't want credit for fear of being terminated.
day 1 at the communal puzzle club: i see a puzzle with a sign next to it that says "please help with our communal puzzle" and i say to myself "don't mind if I do" and did the whole thing
day 2 at the communal puzzle club: i get gently reprimanded for not sharing the puzzle experience with the others. in my defense I thought they needed all the help they could get
day 3 at the communal puzzle club: we start a new puzzle and i put one of the pieces in my pocket and save it for later so i can be the one who puts in the last piece
day 4 at the communal puzzle club: the puzzle is almost complete so i reach into my pocket and realize i left the last piece in my other pants which are currently in the washing machine. i feign ignorance
day 5 at the communal puzzle club: the others are suspicious but they have no proof. they check my pockets before i leave but little do they know that this time i ate the pieces
day 6 at the communal puzzle club: i put an entire bottle of miralax in my coffee to get the pieces out of my digestive system but they are too far dissolved to be usable. my stomach is in so much pain and i can't stop shitting but i rinse off what's left of the pieces and make it to puzzle club anyway, only to find out they don't meet on mondays. i am inconsolable.
day 7 at the communal puzzle club: i realized those pieces are incriminating evidence so i slipped them in someone else's pocket. i should be good as long as they don't find residual traces of my dna
day 8 at the communal puzzle club: there is an odd feeling in my gut. i feel as if something has been awoken in me
day 9 at the communal puzzle club: i am in such deep focus that the others are starting to fear me. either that or they are cowering away from the communal puzzle out of sheer respect for my skills
day 10 at the communal puzzle club: i'm getting better and better, i can now do several puzzles in one day. the others are discussing what to do about me in hushed tones. little do they know my laser focus allows me to hear everything they say. they aren't a threat.
day 11 at the communal puzzle club: the club manager unlocked the door but already i am inside. ive been here all night doing puzzles in the dark. they threaten to ban me from the club so in response i pick a 500 piece puzzle at random and complete it in under 45 minutes, just to show them who the real authority is
day 12 at the communal puzzle club: i have been officially banned from the communal puzzle club. in a fit of rage i grab as many pieces as i can and eat them, making sure to thoroughly chew and swallow every single one. if i can't do them, no one can.
day 13 at the communal puzzle club: it's monday again. the club doesn't meet today. it's the perfect opportunity to break in and do as many puzzles as my heart desires, without any of the club's petty drama to distract me
day 14 at the communal puzzle club: i am in jail because the club manager snitched to the cops like the pathetic weakling they are. this is the worst night of my entire life there aren't any puzzles here
day 15 at the communal puzzle club: the judge let me off with a restraining order since I didn't actually steal anything. i show back up to communal puzzle club just to make a show of ripping the order to shreds. no piece of paper will dictate my life, only jigsaw-cut cardboard has that power. nothing else.
day 16 at the communal puzzle club: everyone is so quiet today when I walk in. I eat some pieces in a show of force, just to remind everyone who's in charge. I comment that they taste somewhat like strychnine, they say it's just because Ravensburger has a new method of chemically processing their pieces. sounds plausible. 30 minutes later i am convulsing violently but i beg them not to call an ambulance until i finish the puzzle i was working on. but the bastards don't listen and I'm shipped off to the hospital kicking and screaming.
day 17 at the communal puzzle club: i spent the night in the hospital. a detective comes in and says they're investigating the manager of the communal puzzle club for attempted murder and asks what i know. i tell him honestly that i ain't no snitch and spit in his face. he says they have more than enough evidence to prosecute regardless.
day 18 at the communal puzzle club: the club manager is on trial for attempted murder and i am called as a witness. i tell the judge that i ain't no snitch and spit in his face. i am held in contempt of the court
day 19 at the communal puzzle club: the defense makes a plea of justifiable self defense, citing the restraining order that isn't even 1 week old. somehow the judge buys that flimsy defense. i mean, this is the same judge who didn't even recognize me from that same case despite being the same judge. i think the poor old man has dementia so i make a motion for a mistrial. it gets shot down because the system is corrupt.
day 20 at the communal puzzle club: the judge says i should get jail time but he decided i should be in a mental facility instead. i don't know why he would think that, i have been nothing but sane my entire life. god forbid a woman have hobbies
day 1 in the psych ward: they have puzzles in here this is amazing
day 2 in the psych ward: all the puzzles are missing a few pieces. this is unacceptable. im going to go insane
day 3 in the psych ward: i have been informed that they do not use the word "insane" in here so i take back my previous statement.
day 4 in the psych ward: i need to find those missing pieces i need to find them i need to find them i have been questioning everybody all the nurses all the doctors all the patients all the miscellaneous hospital staff but nobody knows anything. this is hopeless. i will never be able to overcome this trauma. my life is over
day 5 in the psych ward: it's so boring in here. without complete puzzles there's nothing to do except watch tv but the only channel they get is the local news. i begrudgingly watch out of nothing but all-encompassing ennui. but one of the stories is about the communal puzzle club and suddenly i am overcome with nostalgia. turns out there was a series of alleged poisonings attributed to that location. strychnine was found in three people so far, one of whom was myself. but the others didn't survive. this confirms my suspicion that i am in fact the chosen one
day 6 in the psych ward: with a renewed sense of purpose i will attempt to convince the doctors of my "sanity," but i also came to the realization that they don't care about sanity, they only care about sedation. they want to supress my passion, eradicate my truth, condition me to fall in line with the rest of the "sane" people. with that knowledge, i was able to tell them everything they wanted to hear. i acted polite, pretended i was cured, i even feigned complete disinterest in puzzles! it made my stomach boil but i did it, i convinced them, and just like that, i was free.
day 28 at the communal puzzle club: i don't know why everyone was so surprised to see me again, it's only natural that i'd come to finish what i started
(i know this is supposed to be day 27 at the communal puzzle club but day 27 was a monday so nothing happened) like what am i gonna say, "day 27 i sat alone in my studio apartment eating cereal and biding my time"
day 29 at the communal puzzle club: the communal puzzle club has been disbanded, the club manager has been arrested, and the whole place is swarming with cops. i watched as they hauled off a bunch of expensive looking printers and like a billion reams of paper and loaded them onto a big police truck.
apparently, the communal puzzle club was just a front for document forgery and counterfeit cash, and i had been inadvertently sabotaging them this entire time. which is sad because i support both of those things. but it also explains why they met 12 hours a day, 6 days a week and why they had their own building despite having no profit model and also why i was the only one who seemed to actually care about the puzzles. everyone else was too busy making fake passports to care.
in hindsight, i always knew they were all a bunch of casuals. but i didn't mind because they had so many excellent puzzles. I asked one of the officers if i could at least have the puzzles but he said they were already taken and locked away in the evidence room. the thought sickens me- all those puzzles, gathering dust, never to be assembled again. or maybe the pigs just took them for themselves! so they could have all the puzzles they want while the rest of us ordinary, law-abiding citizens have nothing to do except die of boredom!
the moral of the story is that we can never have nice things because of the fucking pigs. fuck the police.
the fuck did i just read?
my local library was having a puzzle swap and there was a puzzle with a sign next to it that said "please help with our communal puzzle" and i thought "wouldn't it be funny if i did the entire thing by myself" and then i did the entire thing by myself while rolling that thought around in my brain and as it rolled it started picking up all the various mold spores and fungus i keep up there. like a katamari
whatever i'll crosspost this one
Why dis đ´ââ ď¸ look so mad đđđ
literally my dad
I FOUMDH IT
Regular Couple
this ended homophobia
happy pride month
[ID: The original âI see no differenceâ meme. Each of the four squares features an anime couple with an Impact font caption. First is a boy and a girl cuddling captioned âRegular couple.â Second is two boys kissing, captioned âYaoi couple.â Third is two girls looking into each otherâs eyes captioned âYuri couple.â Finally, Edward Elric from FMA gives a thumbs-up anf grins with the top and bottom text: âI see no difference / Love is love.â End ID]
The polar opposite of corporate accounts trying to come across as hip and super friendly are the ones for libraries, aquariums, parks systems and the like, that are basically just trying to get people excited about learning and the wonder of history/science by posting things like this:
You know how much I would lose my mind if I was at an aquarium and turned a corner to see a wild ass heron staring at a fish tank
do you ever say something and then think "wow this isnt even a bit. im just like this"
do yoo evew say someting and den tink âwow dis isnât even a bit!! im just wike dis UwUâ
This post has been UwU-ified!
i feel dirty after reading that
do yoo need a scwubby wubby? OwO
i think i do need a scwubby wubby to be honest but not from you
When is it my turn to be happy.
âWorld Heritage Post
â¨EARLY ACCESS⨠Mario's Not Allowed In Heaven - Drawfee Animated is up now for every Patreon tier, so if you want to see this for $1, it's all massively appreciated! đđ
Get more from DeepBlueInk on Patreon. creating Animations. Support DeepBlueInk and get exclusive access to their work.
A group of far-future linguists and archeologists suddenly *poof* into existence in front of me. One is holding a tablet. "What is the difference between 'red sauce' and 'tomato sauce?'" they ask me. "The distinction is not clear in extant texts from this time and place."
"Uh, they're the same thing," I tell them. "Who are you?"
"Yes!" the being with the tablet exclaims.
One of the other researchers groans. "No! My thesis...months of writing wasted..." One of the others comforts them.
"Now, what is this object for?" The first researcher holds up a discolored, dinged-up plastic object. It's clearly been buried in the ground for quite some time, but the two holes and the scuffed plastic window are distinctive.
"That's a cassette tape. You record music with it."
"Interesting, interesting." The being enters something on the tablet.
"How are you speaking English?"
"Sophisticated translation technology," one of the researchers confides. "We are students of your society. From the future."
"What does this pictogram represent?" The researcher with the tablet turns it around so that the screen faces me.
It's the eggplant emoji.
"Sex," I say. "Why do you need to ask me this if you can time travel or whatever? Can't you just go wherever you want to go and look around and see how these things are being used?"
The beings shift guiltily and look at each other. "Technically, travel to times and places prior the advent of time travel is strictly prohibited. Paradoxes, you know."
"Oh."
"We must be get back before our advisor returns to the lab. Just don't tell anyone you saw us, alright? The space-time continuity depends on it. Can you do that?"
"Uh, sure, I guess?"
One of them pats me on the head. "And don't go to Mars."
"Okay. Wait, why? Is it dangerous?"
"No. Just not worth it."
The group disappears in a shimmering light.
The cassette clatters to the sidewalk behind them.
Out of befuddlement, mainly, I pick it up. It's clearly old, discolored and scuffed, but it still has tape in it.
I carry the tape around in my pocket for a while. The curiosity builds. I want to know what's on that tape. I don't have a cassette player anymore, so I go to Goodwill and pick up the first one I can find, praying that it still works. I plug it in. It turns on.
I slide the tape inside. It's dirty, but it still seems to be in decent shape. I snap the player closed and hit play. The wheels begin to turn. I hold my breath.
A familiar tune starts up. A wobbly voice comes out of the machine.
We're no strangers to love
i think being able to identify and deconstruct an irrational feeling should make it go away. i literally solved your riddle puzzle master can u let me OUT the damn TORTURE LABYRINTH
'Traces of pederasty in Sophocles' work are also confined to the fragments of lost plays, but as with Aeschylus there is nothing to indicate a negative view. In the Niobe (fr. 148 Radt), one of Niobe' s sons appealed to his erastÄs for help; Athenaeus (13.601a-b) tells us that this play was so strongly characterized by the pederastie theme that its alternate title was Paiderastria. In the Colchides (fr. 345 Radt), there was a nice line about Ganymede 'warming the tyranny of Zeus with his thighs'. The most extensive treatment of pederasty was in Sophocles' Lovers of Achilles, which was almost certainly a satyr play. The chorus of satyrs were probably among the young Achilles' would-be lovers, but not the only ones. This play could be read as Sophocles' response to Aeschylus' Myrmidons, in that itpresented Achilles as erĂľmenos, whereas in Aeschylus he had been portrayed as erastÄs.'
HUBBARD, T. K. (2006). 'HISTORYâS FIRST CHILD MOLESTER: EURIPIDESâ CHRYSIPPUS AND THE MARGINALIZATION OF PEDERASTY IN ATHENIAN DEMOCRATIC DISCOURSE.' Bulletin of the Institute of Classical Studies. Supplement, (87), 223â244.
my neighbour stopped me when I was taking out my recycling, and said "when I park in front of your driveway and block it, and you leave a note on my car that reads 'please don't block my driveway', it makes me really mad." and I was just nodding like oh okay. yeah? huh.
he brought up that I should feel indebted to him bc he âcleared my drivewayâ with his leaf blower, but what actually happened is that he gathered every leaf from both of our properties and piled it in a calf-high mass at the bottom of my front steps, which I had to wade through to exit my house. I genuinely thought he did this as a calculated attack. it did not occur to me that it was a good deed.
there has been some change in behaviour for the positive, though. like he hasnât parked in front of my driveway lately, which is nice. and he stopped banging on my windows when I asked him not to. and he doesnât go in my backyard anymore because I said âplease stop doing thatâ and he said âI donât do that,â and I said âI was literally watching you,â and he said âI only wanted to look over the fence into the other neighbourâs yard.â and heâs stopped going on to my porch at night to borrow my shovel (mainly because he broke the shovel and threw the pieces into my backyard), and he hasnât taken my ornamental chicken statue and placed it in his garden again because I said âplease donât steal my chicken statue I can literally see it in your gardenâ. and he also hasnât broken my recycling bin again, presumably because the lid canât split in two any further. so weâve had some positive improvements.
important context to this is that the guy yells at his wife a lot, and yells at the female tenants living in his basement, and because he perceives me as a woman, I am slotted into the 'should cower in fear of his testicles' category. but I'm also 6'2 and constantly on the verge of a mental breakdown, so I can't really manage more than a dead-eyed stare when he tries this. just standing out there in my house slippers going "oh okay" until he pauses long enough for me to slip in a firm "but please don't bang on my windows anymore."
As a transsexual woman đŠ who has had multiple experiences âźď¸ I have found đ that the biggest block of cheese đ§ is usually the one âď¸ that has the largest size đ
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