vent

call me fawn. he/him. check pinned post before interacting! please do not rb my posts unless tagged "ok to rb", thank you.

[fawning-fawn]

i figured i should make a carrd so its easy to keep my dni and stuff organized.

if youre new, hello! im fawn. you can learn more about me here: https://fawningfawn.carrd.co

fawning . . .

carrd for my vent blog

(if you have any issues reading/accessing my carrd, please dont hesitate to tell me so!)

[emotionaleating]

„but you survived“ but i didn’t want to lol. i wasn’t supposed to. i hate that i did. i’m angry that i did. i want the pain to go away so badly.

[colorsandwords]

I don’t think enough people talk about RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria). Like, it’s so embarrassing, especially as an adult.

Sometimes, you need to be told that you were out of line or that you fucked up. And I want to take the reprimand/criticism and work on it.

But instead I have to try not to cry and then go cry when I’m alone and keep thinking about it the whole day while swinging between anger and self hatred.

Like damn. My nervous system does not need to be reacting like that

[girlwave]

glenn dean, landscapes of the west / user @petrichara

[fromdarzaitoleeza]

-Bylthe baird, if my body could speak

[traumasurvivors]

“I can’t tell if my abuser meant to abuse me. This means that I can’t tell if I’m allowed to be traumatized/upset/angry/etc.” This is something I hear a lot of

And while intent may make a difference to you on how you feel about that person (and that’s totally valid), you are always allowed to feel whatever you feel. Your trauma is valid, even if they genuinely had no idea what they were doing. Your feelings are all valid, and yes, you are allowed to even hate them.

Even if they genuinely did not know it was abusive, it doesn’t negate the effects it had on you. It doesn’t automatically erase your experiences. You still went through what you went through, and that should have never happened.

[software-instxbility]

I was never loud. I was never stupid. I was never clingy, creative, messy, colourful. Never took up any space. I was always smart and well bahevaed, almost invisible. I was like a mini adult of some sort. And I used to be so proud of this.

Now I realised I never got the right to be what I was: a child.

[fawning-fawn]

9.16.24

i think i might be replaceable by nature. im nothing but a middle stage, some stepping stone to better things. fuck.

[fawning-fawn]

9.11.24

do you ever get the urge to self destruct when things go badly? like. everything sucks ass right now, what if i ruined my life as i know it and divorced myself from the concept of intimacy.

[traumasurvivors]

You're valid if you chose to report.

You're valid if you chose not to report.

You're valid if you chose to report, and then changed your mind.

You're valid if you chose not to report and have regrets about it.

[aspergersissues]

It helped me to realize this.

[weltenwellen]

Nicole W. Lee, from "Even the Dust"

[traaumaa]

i give up

[zyprexazydis10]

I guess I just don't see the point in human interaction anymore, i think I'm better off alone instead of constantly being hurt and disappointed because I cannot Really connect to anyone

[8-bitfiction]

[stlowens]

Sylvia Plath, from The Unabridged Journals

[breathing-in-fire]