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it/he | 20 | i simply dont exist | MDNI 🔞

[penetratingpalpations001]

I am thankful every day that my brain decided to be fascinated by hearts.

[tumbled-blocks]

when i make someone mad and they give me the silent treatment and suddenly im 8 years old again and the other kids dont like me and i know it's because theres something wrong with me that im not normal and they know they know very well that im different and they're all staring at me always staring always looking at me like ..... that

[sippycuppup]

tw: discussion of sad topics / impure age regression.

— i know this style / topic is different from my normal posts. i know i haven’t been active on this account and haven’t been responding to requests and questions. i am sorry. but things have been hard and i ask that you all please be patient with me. thank you.

[tiny-star-boy]

⭐️impure age regression⭐️

this may not make much sense to others but I wanted to try and make something to show what impure age regression feels like for me. my regression is impure a large majority of the time, it makes me feel alone, sad and scared. I do not see the negative or unhappy sides of agere being shown very often so I wanted to give it a try.

[thefoolsystem]

its been a while

[mdsaquotes]

I read someone on Reddit said sexual abuse by a mother towards a daughter can be like any sexual abuse in that it is not necessarily about sexual gratification but dominance and control. And she could carry that dominance from other aspects to the sexual realm.

And for me violation of a person sexually reaches a depth and breadth unreachable by other forms of abuse. That’s why she went there. She wanted the most bang for her bucks.

[kissmamagoodnight]

“I had to chant to fall asleep to keep my mind off the “black hole” which represented the incest before I remembered it.”

(The last secret: Daughters sexually abused by mothers, by Bobbie Rosencrans.)

[m-d-s-a]

Peg Streep, Mean Mothers: Overcoming the Legacy of Hurt

[stargazers-satellite]

wait for the green light.

[hauntedandabandoned]

help me

[midwestemokilledmygrandma]

I am not a transmed or a truscum by any means, because I don't necessarily think that you need dysphoria to be trans/I don't care if trans ppl identify as non dysphoric/I do not really gaf about the discourse as a whole because I'm not 14.

HOWEVER what I will say is I think dysphoria is incredibly misresprented both within and out of the trans community and I am not diagnosing anyone with shit or saying ppl r not aware of their own experience and call me a crazy radical

but wanting to transition even just socially, not wanting to identify as ur birth sex, being more comfortable not as ur birth sex. this is all dysphoria. these are all dysphoric experiences. what u think dysphoria should be is one example of dysphoric but. identifying as trans is an inherently dysphoria driven experience.

I am not claiming my experience is universal but ppl think dysphoria is a huge thing which it can be 4 lots of ppl but something as simple as identifying as a gender different from the one u were assigned at birth is gender dysphoria

I mean idgaf but I do think lots of non dysphoric trans people actually are dysphoric and just don't know it. do what u want tho

[midwestemokilledmygrandma]

I am not a transmed or a truscum by any means, because I don't necessarily think that you need dysphoria to be trans/I don't care if trans ppl identify as non dysphoric/I do not really gaf about the discourse as a whole because I'm not 14.

HOWEVER what I will say is I think dysphoria is incredibly misresprented both within and out of the trans community and I am not diagnosing anyone with shit or saying ppl r not aware of their own experience and call me a crazy radical

but wanting to transition even just socially, not wanting to identify as ur birth sex, being more comfortable not as ur birth sex. this is all dysphoria. these are all dysphoric experiences. what u think dysphoria should be is one example of dysphoric but. identifying as trans is an inherently dysphoria driven experience.

I am not claiming my experience is universal but ppl think dysphoria is a huge thing which it can be 4 lots of ppl but something as simple as identifying as a gender different from the one u were assigned at birth is gender dysphoria

I mean idgaf but I do think lots of non dysphoric trans people actually are dysphoric and just don't know it. do what u want tho

[midwesternmonalisa]

Space baby!!

[softpawpup]

just a little reminder that age regression is not always cute and pretty and friendly. it can be violent and aggressive and scary and full of ups and downs and frustration and anger. i struggle with anger issues, including when im regressed, and sometimes my big emotions come out even bigger when im little. and sometimes i draw vent regression art. and thats okay!! youre allowed to vent when little, youre allowed to not have a 'perfect' cute age regression !! this also goes for pet regression !!! please do not forget pet regressors !! pet regressors can be feral, angry, bitey, growly, grumpy, etc. !! they deserve the same space and love and patience

[bnuyboyy]

domestic/household puppyboy! Flag by @rwuffles

[p0is0n-is-th3-cur3]

Having dreams crushed by disability is such a deeply traumatic experience, the realization that you’ll never be able to do the thing you want most in life because your body isn’t able to handle it. Waking up the day after you received the news and feeling that utter sense of heartbreak in your chest. Watching people go on and do those things while you sit on the sidelines, forced to watch bitterly. That feeling of being trapped, imprisoned by your inability to do what you love. The grief, the anger, the sadness. All because your body doesn’t allow you to.

[software-instxbility]

What im grieving the most is my loss of skills.

I used to be able to do reps of like 50 pushups; I'd compete against my scout leaders (who in retrospect probably let me win but my goal was just to impress them). I used to be able to walk around 80-100kms in 2 days during hikes. I'd dance on pointe shoes. I was always the one carrying all the groceries, the one boys and men wanted on their team. Now i use a cane to walk around my own room sometimes and use my braces more often than not. Some days even holding my phone is too much effort. I sleep all the time and then sleep some more.

I used to read entire books in a day, two at most. I was a writer, theater kid, dancer and musician. I was in the chess club. Now I can barely read or write a paper for college, can barely do my homework and I failed two years in a row. I write down everything because I have the memory of a goldfish from dissociative amnesia. I can only draw once in a blue moon, if im lucky.

I was on top of my class, id handle homework + studying + caring for my sister + my mother + my hobbies and activities + administration + ect. I was never home before 8-9 pm bc of my extracurriculars. Now im making myself communication cards because some days, speaking gets too much. im slowly but surely entering a nonsexual D/S relationship bc I need instructions for day-to-day chores and activities. I need reminders and alarms everywhere, all the time.

I was a real life Swiss army knife and now I'm turning into a human adult baby. It's not fair.