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izzy's playlists!
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@fayedeguzman
To the fews things I hate such as 1. Missed opportunities 2. Not getting a good selfie
Booyah! I overcame you two right here in this photo! 😊 Just when you feel like talking about Jesus, say it. Opportunities don’t happen much these days. 😝😌☺️
God is not mad at you.
(via fearlessproverbs)
I just realized how hard I've been to myself, taking the blame for the all the previous wreckages. 😑 I'm really sorry, self. You're not defined by your flaws. God's not mad. You can be better than this. 😌
My fair share of PMDT default tracing and counseling.
Community Nursing Truths!
1. You’ll hate the field, seriously. Sino ba naman gustong umalis sa comfort ng malamig na clinic para maarawan, maulanan, malamigan (sa aircon ng sasakyan) at mainitan ule para sa mga taong paulit ulit na tumatanggi sa gamutan. Wala! Community nursing is literal hard work. Minsan kaylangan mo tumawid ng ilog o umakyat ng bundok o lakaran ang putik kaya ang kaartehan ay iniiwan sa bahay. Yes its is very inconvenient, very uncomfortable pero once you get to enjoy the little adventures, para ka nalang gumagala, Masaya naman. Feeling #travel ka lang.
2. Emotionally exhausting. Para kang nanonood ng “Maalalaala mo kaya!” at “Magpakailaman” combined! Real life mess right in front my eyes. Gulo sa pamilya. Walang makain. Walang tirahan. Buntis sa ika pang isang doseng anak then guess what, may TB ka pa? COMBO. Some literally had nothing, kaya personally I learned to become more grateful in things I have and don't have. Salamat at nakakakaen ako ng 3 beses sa isang araw na minsan higit pa at salamat wala akong sakit. SALAMAT PO LORD!
3. #FOODTRIP. Sa hospital, maghahanap ka ng panahon mo para kumaen, pero sa field pwede kang kumaen oras oras basta pasok sa “per diem” mo. Kung may rewarding na bagay sa pag fifield ayon ay ang kumaen. (Salamat sa Diyos para sa best driver na, food trip guide pa!) Pero of course, hinay hinay lang sa gastronomic adventures, hindi lahat ng masarap ay nakakabuti sa tyan and hindi palaging available ang CR sa field. Hihi!
Fried isaw from drive-thru isawan at Bulacan
4. This nursing activity minsan discouraging na dahil sobrang inconvenience na nga, walang pang visible gain. Ang pagpapagamot ng TB o kahit ano pa mang sakit ay desisyon ng nagmamayari ng katawan kaya sa totoo lang, napakahirap magumbinsi ng tao. Minsan tataguan ka o kaya sila pa yung galet. It’s a tough task, really but in years of doing this, nakita ko yung HALAGA ng ginagawa ng isang default tracer (hindi naman dahil ako yung default tracer, hehe!) Pero ang counselor kase nakikita niya yung gap between patient and medication. Maaaring hindi lang talaga naiintindihan ng pasyente yung severity ng sakit niya o maaaring hirap na siya at kaylangan niya lang ng may magsasabe sa kanya na kaya nya o pwede ding may mahirap na sitwasyon na baka naman meron pa pwede pang maitulong sa kanila. Medyo consuming pero I always remind myself na kapag may ginagawa kang magandang bagay para sa iba, itodo mo habang may chance ka pa para kahit hindi man mag turn out positively at least you’ve done EVERYTHING humanly possible, then I can let go and let God.
Kuya Obet’s candy cabinet for anti byahilo.
5. Community Nursing can be really frustrating. Minsan hindi magtagpo yung isip mo at ng pasyente kahit gano mo pa subukan lumagay sa sitwasyon nila kaya many times I’ve been discouraged counselling patients kase nakakapagod na but at the same time I knew that for my own sake, the Lord placed me exactly where I am right now. Dati gusto kong maging OR or DR nurse kase feeling “cool” but now that I’m usually with community people na malayong malayo sa field na gusto ko, may itinuro saken ang Lord. Truly sa Community Nursing bukod sa utak dapat gumagamit din ng puso. Heart heart! :)
(and I dedicate this post sa lahat ng field nurses lalo sa team Tala: Je An, Tin, Daps and Obet)
THIS! 😛 Credits to PD
09/03/15
UNHAPPY. That thought was there, between a ‘busy’ schedule I created and my unconscious ways to supply my heart with temporary hobbies. Friendships, travels, books, movies. How can I be unhappy? I have everything I need, wonderful parents, a comfort house, friends, I like my job, nevertheless I slept and woke up with that uncomfortable thought. It was You the whole time, I’m seeing it clearly now. It is that thought that make us realize that no matter what you experience in this lifetime, nothing will ever make any sense if God is not on your side. Yes, you will have happy moments, some of them even are gift from God, you will reach some life goals, you will find a person who will make your heart double in size, know new places, new people. But everything is transient, temporary. Eternity is what God works with. Live your life, love, laugh, hope, cry of happiness, but always remember, before or after putting your head on the pillow, the true and full happiness is in the one who created you. Everything else is incomplete, everything else will just wake in you to where will find your so very wanted happiness - God Himself.
Psalm 138:8
The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.
NORTH!!
Rock on! :D
Enjoying the Task with Pain
My favorite topic so far. (Magtatagalog na ako para INTENSE!)
OUR TASK: MAKE DISCIPLES
Mula nung unang araw ng “Holistic Discipleship” course ay tinatalakay na naten ang dakilang atas ng Panginoon na gumawa ng mga taga sunod Niya at sa aking tingin, sapat ang mga aralin at pag papaliwanag para aking maintindihan na higit sa kung ano pa man, ang nais ng Diyos sa akin ay ipamalita ang Kanyang salita. Hindi ito pakiusap ng Panginoon sa akin bagkus ako ay pinili Niya upang maging tagapamalita ng Kanyang pagmamahal sa papamigtan ni Kristo Hesus. Sa bawat araw ng pag aaral ng course na ito mas lalo nagiging buo ang aking kagustuhan na abutin pa ng mas maraming tao upang makakilala sa Panginoon. Tunay nga kapag binababad mo ang iyong panahon sa mga bagay na mas makakapag dadag sa espiritwal na pagka tuto, mas nagiging malakas ang iyong loob para magawa ang mga bagay na hinihingi sa atin ng Panginoon.
(Wooooh! Lakas maka”metodistang” tagalog!! **epistaxis**)
OUR PAIN: BURN OUT
Sa lahat ng mga naging aralin, isa ito sa may pinaka may mahalagang refleksyon akong natutunan at sobrang malaking bagay ito sa akin. Stress. Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses ko ng sinabe na “stressed” ako at hindi naman talaga maiiwasan, lalo sa field ng trabaho na meron ako. Sa araw araw na pag harap ko sa mga pasyente na nakakaranas din ng kasalukuyang stress situation, maliwanag sa akin na hindi lang ako ang nakakaramdam ng stress. Normal na nangyayare ito. Sa kabilang banda, ang burnout ay bunga ng patong patong o naipon na stress depende sa “threshold” o kakayanan ng tao na maghandle nito. Ito ay extreme o sagad na stress na maihahalintulad sa depression. Sa medical field, may batayan ang mga doktor upang maidiagnose na depressed ang isang pasyente. Katulad ng hindi maayos na pagtulog, hindi makakaen na nag dudulot ng pagpayat, iritable, hindi makapag focus, hindi pakikihalubilo, umiiyak ng walang sapat na dahilan at marami pang iba. Ang mga nabanggit na sintomas ang nagiging batayan ng mga doktor upang malaman kung ang isang pasyente ay depressed at nangangailangan sapat ng medical management kaya kailanman ang depression o burnout ay hindi normal at nangangailangan ito ng atensyon.
Gaya nga ng sabe sa libro ni Harold Sala, ang taong naghihingalo sa ospital at nakakabit na makina ay madaling makuha ang atensyon sa panahon na tumigil tumibok ang kanyang puso dahil sa mga alarm, pero kapag emotions mo ang nag flatline bihirang may makapansin ganon pa man gusto ko alalahanin sa topic na ito na bago pa man gawin ng Diyos ang napaka lawak na kalawakan, alam na Niya ang nakakapagstress sa buhay ko.
Minsan ko ng naibahagi sa church sa pamamagitan ng testimony na bukod sa pagiging nurse ay minsan din ako ay naging pasyente. Last year after series of counselling, I was diagnosed depressed at kailangan ko uminom ng antidepressants para hindi maka hadlang sa mga pangaraw araw na gawain ko ang ilang sintomas ng depresyon lalo yung hirap sa pagtulog. Madaming mahirap na circumstances at paulit ulit na stress akong naranasan na umabot sa sa aking emotional limit at ito ang isa sa pinaka malungkot na pangyayari sa akin, dahil bilang isang nurse at lalo higit bilang Kristyano, hindi ko kailan man naisip na darating sa punto na kailangan ko uminom ng gamot dahil sa aking paniniwala na ang depression ay nagpapakita ng kahinaan ng pananampalataya sa Panginoon. Earlier this year, nung una kong mabasa ang librong ito at natutunan ko na hindi totoo yon. Hindi totoo na hindi dapat nasistress ang mga Kristiano at lalong hindi totoo na ang mga nasestress at hindi spiritual. Sa katunayan nabangit na ang mga naniniwala sa Diyos ay mas nakakaranas ng stress at maraming tao sa Biblia ang makaakapagpatunay nito. Ang buhay Kristiano ay hindi kaylanman komportable, maraming stress at problema, and only if we allow stress to hinder us to accomplish our task, doon tayo nagiging talo.
OUR BEHAVIOUR: ENJOY THEM
Ngayon na maliwanag na sa atin na ang stress ay hindi na maiiwasan, what do we do? Dito na pumapasok ang pinaka mahalagang parte ng topic. Paano nga ba dapat tumugon ang isang Kristiano sa mga stress? Ilan sa mga nakakalungkot na nagiging madalas na response ng tao sa stress ay mag unwind at maghanap ng kasiyahan sa mga activities tulad ng spa, vacation at iba pang superficial na bagay makakapagbigay ng panandaliang saya. Hindi ito masama pero wala din ito masyadong eternal gain. Ubos pera pa. Personally, sa panahon na sinusubok ng Diyos ang aking emotion, it took awhile bago ko nalaman ang tunay na magaalis ng lungkot at stress ko, tulad ng iba gumawa ako ng mga bagay na akala ko makakapagpasaya sa akin tulad nagbasa ako ng maraming libro na walang kabagay bagay, nanood ako ng mga television series mula umaga hanggang gabi at marami pang ubos panahon na gawain pero at the end of the day, hindi pa din ako masaya. Yung 30 mins na panahon na inilaan ko sa worship hour ay di hamak na higit sa approximately 10 hours na naubos ko sa isang season ng isang television series na pag katapos hindi pa ako masaya. Hindi ako naging productive at naging hadlang ito sa paglilingkod ko sa Panginoon.
Tunay nga na dapat matutunan ng isang Kristiano ang tamang response sa panahong ito. We really have to enjoy the suffering for suffering prepares us for greater joy and TRUE joy only comes from the Lord. Only Jesus satifies. Natutunan ko na kunin ang perspective ng Diyos. LAHAT ng ito ay kasama sa Kanyang magandang plano kaya walang pangyayare sa buhay ng tao na “serendipity” dahil in Him were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will. Ephesians 1:11 so kesa mag dwell ng matagal sa pain, tumingin sa Panginoon at tignan ang bawat pangyayare bilang pagpapalakas sa atin.
Romans 8:18
For I reckon that suffering of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
(With BS classmates! Here’s a photo of one of many after class physical fueling. Credits to Ian.)
Reproducing Reproducers
DO I INTERNALIZE THE JESUS’ VISION?
“Come, follow me,”Jesus said,“and I will send you out to fish for people.” There is no clearer passage to support that Jesus called us to be His witness than this verse. Boldly, God chose us to share the gospel and He shares His vision with us. When I thought of being God’s handpicked disciple, there’s this warm feeling that I can’t really explain. Overwhelmed and held in awe. I knew myself to its dustiest part and to be called to complete a sovereign will is astounding. Jesus made me saw His vision and it is real delight and when we truly delight in something, the way in which we complete our joy is to tell others.If we are enjoying our walk with Christ, our Christian experience is still incomplete until we can share it with others.
DO I EXECUTE THE MISSION
Yes but recently struggling. To execute the mission is to put the understanding of God-given authority in action and it is the most challenging part of being a Christian. Struggling not because I don’t have heart for mission but I was slightly side tracked when circumstances urged me to leave the former church. I became afraid and confused. Saan nga ba ako mag sisimula ulet? I have been in a situation where my heart is pounding with desire to talk about Jesus but I can’t do it because I felt discouraged not being with the same people and it is really uncomfortable. But the good Lord, did not left me at that and gave me the gift of new family through LCFM. It was an answered prayer. I pled and cried unto God to help me adjust as soon as possible so I can bounce back to God’s purpose immediately. And here I am now, trying my best to be good with people again and contributing to be next generation discipler and truly when you’re in comfort of church with grand desire to pursue the Great commission, you will feel dared and dauntless in sharing the word of God because Godly people cheers and back you up. In the end, WHEREVER He wants me to serve Him, He remains faithful on both former and current church. He loves both with an everlasting love.
DO I LIVE WITH PASSION?
Hopefully, Yes. I am reminded by this topic that to live with passion is to live like Jesus. People will not find a better person to emulate positive character than Jesus himself and it’s a big shoe to fill. Although He had no beauty that we should desire Him, clearly it was His personality that drew men to Him. Isaiah 53:2 For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. Jesus is compassionate, merciful and forgiving. He is patient, kind and wise. It was professed through the Scriptures that He is really a man of character. In reflection, I can have an in depth knowledge about Bible, its background and interpretation, but everything is in vain if the it does not transforms my character. Living in a society full of temptations is a continuous test of character that could only be surpassed in pursuit to be like Jesus. There are many ways to live your life of character and it has always been a challenge to me to be passionate in everything I do. I have always prayed to be passionate for Christ where as I know that passion is contagious and the only way to be truly fulfilled is to inspire others. As your passion gives your life purpose and meaning, it would be a shame to keep what you know and what you experience to yourself. Telling people how God has been good to me is a way to pass on this passion. I want to inspire others to do more, be more, and achieve more for Jesus.
Loving the Unlovable
John 13:34-35
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
I would like to reflect on this by answering relevant questions and hopefully I would cover most of important points on the lesson.
How to determine the love of God? Knowing how God showed us love is a joy to heart and when I thought of His love I can’t help but think of all the relationships I currently had. Having this as lesson, I took the opportunity to appreciate these God given relationships and I think it’s the best drive to love others as well. Indeed, God’s love was expressed through my family and I’m confident that among all relationships I had, theirs are the kind that though incomparable to God’s love, is the closest to His there is on earth.
Who are the “unlovable persons” in my life and why I have to love them? It was discussed that there are three basic points on why we have to love the unlovable.
1. God is God of love.
2. He loved us first.
3. It is a proof of being Jesus’ disciple.
As a nurse, the closest unlovable people are my patients. Working in a government hospital, Mostly I handle patients who came from poverty-stricken group (and are usually the uneducated ones). Patients in pain or in altered health condition are by nature, demanding and self- centered, justifiable by health demand situations. To deal with “difficult” patients professionally is every nurse’ call but I realized to serve them with love is God’s higher calling and that’s where we sometimes fail. Many times I’ve encountered unlovable patients and I won’t deny that I sometimes fake “love” and use my voice of compassion just to get through a shift, it does work at times but faking compassion drains my passion. I became tired and out of motivation. It’s when you really feel the call to love people, concern and service comes out naturally and it always pays to love for no matter how hard hearted or close minded a person is, if she/he felt REAL concern, she/he will put down it’s guard and pride, without fail. Love can move a heart.
So in reflection to topic, the motivation to love is God as He is love. It’s really inappropriate to claim that you love God and neglect your neighbor especially when you are capable of loving them. The evidence of love is action and in every action there is sacrifice. So every time I have difficulties making sacrifices, I learned to remind myself to look on the greatest sacrifice there is and it makes me remember that at times I am “unlovable” too.
Therefore, if God loves the unlovable like myself, who am I not to love the unlovable.
HULYO FEELS.
Hindi ko mapigilan ma-amaze sa kabutihan ng Panginoon sa akin sa nakalipas na 6 na buwan. Noon, iniisip ko palang umalis sa lugar na parte ng halos buong buhay ko ay nangingilid na yung luha ko sa takot. Saan nga ba ako mag sisimula? Pero eto ngayon, yung parang imposibleng magagawa ko ay nangyayare na at masayang masaya akong nagiintay sa kung saan pa ako gustong dalhin ng Lord. 😁
You know when you’ve been stuck in situation for so long, you get too comfortable and you tend to blend. Sakto sakto lang, ganon. Hindi ko alam kung gano kadameng beses ko na na-offend ang Lord for setting my goals short in fear of rejections and disappointments. Really, Faye, you actually believed God that less. Aissh!!! But seriously, our God has an unfathomable power. God is God and we are not. He wants our faith and it moves Him to act. “Gen. 18:14 Is there anything hard for the Lord?” Meron nga bang mahirap sa Panginoon? Apparently, WALA! I’ve realized that at some point in life we REALLY have to dare our faith in Jesus. Yung talagang susubukin mo kahit hindi mo nakikita o kahit pa masakit at tipong hindi mo kakayanin. Faith like muscles, it must be exercised or else it’ll shrink. Mahirap at masakit na proseso but it’ll be worth it. 😌
“Matthew 9:29 According to your faith will it be done to you. ”
Yung sa sobrang komportable kang walang ibang tao, ang alien sa feeling kapag meron gustong sumubok maging parte ng buhay mo. 😑
"Love God first so you can love each other better."
Quickly. Quietly. Graciously.
Leave quickly. Leave quietly. Leave graciously.
Quickly means when you leave, you leave. Drawing out your exit rarely makes things better. It doesn’t help to “sort of” leave a church. When the time comes to leave, make your exit and go your way.
Quietly means you don’t try to explain yourself to others. In my judgment, you don’t owe a long explanation to every person in the church. If you have certain responsibilities in the church, you should let the leaders know so they can make proper plans. And quietly means you don’t write letters to the congregation or make a big announcement and you don’t try to explain yourself over and over again. That’s usually a big mistake. Sometimes people who leave a church try to control what other people say after they are gone. Forget about it. You can’t control what anyone says. Some people may be deeply hurt by your leaving. It may mean the end of some friendships. Certainly things will change. You can’t say, “I want to leave this church but I want all my relationships to stay the same.” I think you’ll find that some people relate to you primarily as a part of the church, and they won’t be able to have the same relationship with you when you are gone. You have to be willing to let that happen and not try to control things. Leaving means letting go.
Graciously means you refuse to speak evil of those who remain in the church. Look forward, not backward. Focus on your new church, not your old one. Think carefully before you speak about your former congregation. Don’t say anything that could be remotely construed as criticism. Even casual comments could stir up needless controversy. Let the Golden Rule guide all your comments public and private.
In the end, Christ is Lord both of your former church and your new church. He loves both with an everlasting love. Those churches were both there before you came along and both will be there after you are off the scene. The church of Jesus is so much larger than anything we can imagine and God’s work is far bigger than our limited vision.
ILMF
