myth: closure.

𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴, 𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘴. 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦? 𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸

[fchriyekocak]

#FCHRIYEKOCAK — private   blog   for   dependent   original   muse   adored + created   by 𝓳 for   briarridgerp.

❛  THERE WILL BE GOODBYES BY DOZENS, SO PRACTICE BEING BRAVE. ❜

WELCOME TO BRIAR RIDGE FAHRIYE KOCAK ! WHO IS KNOWN AS " FAE " AND WAS RECENTLY SEEN LEAVING HER HOME IN BRIAR RIDGE HILLS. SHE IS CURRENTLY THIRTY - ONE YEARS OLD. SHE RESEMBLES OZGE YAGIZ AND IS A CRITICAL CARE SURGEON AT CHARLESTON GENERAL HOSPITAL. THEY'RE BEST KNOWN FOR WEARING HER MOTHERS BROKEN WATCH ALL DAY, EVERY DAY. AND EVEN THOUGH SHE KNOWS IT DOESN'T WORK, FAHRIYE STILL HAS A HABIT OF CHECKING THE TIME AND ALSO, SHE IS IN THE PROCESS OF FIGURING OUT IF SHE WANTS TO CONTINUE ANOTHER YEAR OF FELLOWSHIP OR GO FORWARD IN BECOMING A BOARD - CERTIFIED ATTENDING DOCTOR. WHAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO KNOW ABOUT HER IS THAT FAHRIYE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH MONOCULAR VISION AND OVER TIME WILL EVENTUALLY BE COMPLETELY BLIND IN HER LEFT EYE.

[chippedhcup]

NESLIHAN ATAGÜL x Instagram By serhatsenn (x)

[jiya-santa]

Location: Firefly Brewery Starter for: Open (0/3)

God, she missed New York. Well, she missed being able to bury her head in her work to escape her personal life and being able to drown her sorrows with her sisters, neither of which were possible in the small town she had found herself. The idea had been to confront her ex-husband and leave again but the idea of leaving with so many unanswered questions and loose ends had her feeling more anxious than when she had sat her MCATS.

Sitting at the bar of the first place that had come up when she typed alcohol into her maps app, Jiya simply stared ahead at the bottles behind the bar as she bartender poured her the extra large glass of white wine that she had asked for. It took three tries for him to get her attention before she snapped back into the room and she simply nodded and slid her card across to him. Surely wine could fix all of her problems, even if just for a night.

Taking the glass, Jiya sighed as she lifted it up. "Here's to.. here's to you, may your life be far less complicated than mine." She had been aware of someone next to her, not that she had paid any attention to them so far. Instead, she simply took a large gulp of the wine, trying not to pull a face at the taste.

[fchriyekocak]

the dark-haired woman, feeling overwhelmed from the lively two-step dancing with her colleagues, found herself seeking solace at the bar with a chilled beer clasped between her fingers, accompanied by a refreshing mix of water, lemon, and lime juice. the bright lights and loud noises had thrown her senses into disarray, making it difficult for her to gather her thoughts in the noisy atmosphere. despite the less-than-ideal setting, she was grateful for the chance to sit alone, away from the crowded chaos that threatened to engulf her.

as fahriye sat, deep in her thoughts, a stranger nearby suddenly cheered, catching her attention. turning to face the cheering individual, fahriye raised a questioning eyebrow, her expression a mix of surprise and curiosity. offering a polite, albeit slightly strained, smile in response, she replied softly, ❛ why, thank you … ? ❜ unsure of the stranger's intentions or familiarity, fahriye's guarded demeanour hinted at a cautious wariness, gauging the situation before fully engaging in conversation. ❛ ... my life is complicated, like many, though it's ... manageable. ❜ she admits freely to the stunning stranger, though clearly reserved. ❛ what makes your life so complicated? ❜ fae was typically one to stay way, way out of someone's business, tonight though, felt a little different; there was at least an attempt on her part which was rare.

[ozanulusoy]

closed starter for @fchriyekocak where: septima poinsette clark library

The days were long, and Ozan had nothing much to do as he had yet to find work. He would run by the beach, have coffee, do some personal admin and job research, and finally go to the gym. By then, it was afternoon, and he was bored and alone.

That's why he had taken to the library, as the company of the books was better than the emptiness of his rental home. He was looking through the self-help section for a new read when he saw someone through the shelf, and he narrowed his gaze. "Fahriye?" Ozan whispered, aware of how silent the room was. "I didn't think I'd ever find you in a library!" He teased playfully.

[fchriyekocak]

when fahriye felt the need for solitude, a moment to delve into her thoughts and sort through the chaos in her mind, she found solace in the quiet sanctuary of the library. it had already been hours, almost three and a half to be precise, since she immersed herself in a world of writing and research within the library's shelves. while a stack of books rested in her arms, fahriye scanned the spins of books carefully when she was suddenly startled by a murmur calling out her name.

surprised and caught off guard, her eyes, coloured like deep onyx, widened in surprise before she recognized the familiar voice that had interrupted her solitude. with the teasing going over her head, she responded to ozan a little on the nose; her now stoic demeanour showing little of the surprise she felt moments before. ❛ i'm a constant haunting in these halls, ❜ she retorted, her features impassive as ever. then, dark brows rising, ❛ why are you here? ❜

[jackabbot]

THE PITT 1.06 • 12:00 P.M.

[coltonatwater]

@fchriyekocak

[perikocak]

Peri had one shoe kicked off and somewhat near the front door when Fahriye's voice brought life to the otherwise still, stagnant home. "Hayır, küçük kardeşim—" rarely could she resist inserting sarcasm and a general unseriousness into every response— "Bu Noel Baba!"

They were Muslim. They didn't even believe in Santa Claus, for crying out loud.

And still—Other shoe successfully yeeted beyond the initial entrance to their parents house, and most definitely not on the metal rack where it belonged, she sauntered closer to the kitchen, leaving a trail of other personal items in her wake. The back of the couch, in desperate need of a reupholstering, made friends with her jacket. The powder room door knob bore the heft of her bag.

Maybe she wanted little to do with the responsibility of prepping the place for sale, but she'd damn if she wouldn't make herself comfortable now that she had little choice.

"Unfortunately," ambling into the kitchen at last, an all too expected smirk painted across her mouth, Perihan moved in close to pop a quick kiss off the back of her baby sister's head, "I'm neither fat, nor jolly, and I come bearing no gifts, but hopefully the novelty of my arrival alone is reason enough to celebrate." There was an impish gleam in her eyes, hard to miss. "And feed me cookies."

She sniffed the air near the hot stove, inhaling the delightful perfume of simmering tea, then hopped up to turn the counter into a seat. Feet swinging, not unlike a child, she gestured toward an upper cabinet with a thrust of her chin. "Mind pouring me a cup of that? In my chippy mug, please." Assuming Sevda hadn't given the hideous, faded and cracked thing the boot seconds after Peri moved out.

Honestly, if she had, Peri would be the last person shocked.

Not wanting to dwell on their mother, the complicated relationship she and the woman had always shared, or the reality of her health, Peri kept focus on her sister, instead. It was funny, in a way, because even though she was the older of the two it always felt like the other way around. Fae was the mediator of the family. The calm, collected, accomplished golden child. Peri was the storm everyone else needed to hunker down and endure.

She'd always felt a little less role model and a lot more 'feral creature nipping at heels' if she let herself fall into comparisons. And she did. Often. To that day she still wasn't entirely sure she'd settled on nursing because she loved it, or because Fae had already deemed the medical field worthwhile.

Swallowing, somehow at a point of burgeoning discomfort less than five minutes in, the backs of her feet began bumping a little too forcefully against the wooden doors below. "So. Go ahead. How's life? How's work?" How's mom?—Except that question didn't 'collect $200 and pass Go'.

[fchriyekocak]

fahriye and perihan couldn't have been more different from each other; their contrasting personalities was almost comical. despite the burden of responsibility that weighed heavily on fahriye's shoulders, perihan breezed through life without a care in the world. it was in these simple moments — just the two of them in a room, where a tender kiss from her sister landed softly on the back of fahriye's head — that a small, genuine, soft smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

as fahriye glanced back at her sister, her dark eye(s) assessed perihan's figure before deeming, ❛ no, you're not fat. but you're too skinny, like a rake. or a scarecrow. ❜ gesturing towards the cupboards, fae pointed out the different cookies available. she had gone shopping and had been amazon-ing beforehand, of course. all of their favourites. ❛ american on the right, turkish on the left, and pre-made cookie dough in the fridge, courtesy of olivia, ready to be baked later. ❜ whether perihan was joking about the cookies or not fahriye wasn't sure, but it was evident that they could annoy the fuck each other to hell and back. but there was a lot of love there.

fahriye's exasperation is palpable as she casts a nonchalant side-eye at her sister's latest request, her annoyance evident in the subtle roll of her eyes. ❛ it's reassuring to see that you haven't regressed into acting like an animal and that basic courtesy hasn't eluded you, ❜ she comments dryly as she decides to indulge her request to retrieve the specific mug perihan is asking for ( as well as her own mug, solid matte black ) — the very same mug that had, in fact, been discarded in the garbage to being rescued by fahriye a few days after perihan's departure.

fae doesn't know who tossed the mug out, but the memory of having to fish the mug out of the trash, meticulously clean it, and then carefully conceal it away until her sister's return, had been forgotten about until she was cleaning out the house weeks earlier. she remembers feeling a mix of the disgust of having to clean something after it had been in the trash, and sisterly obligation shaped her actions. much like now, as the sense of familial duty propels fahriye to begrudgingly meet perihan's seemingly trivial request, all the while harbouring an unspoken annoyance at the strange sentimental value attached to an otherwise discarded object.

pouring their teas, slowly and steadily as she forced her left eye to focus painfully at the task, fahriye felt a knot tighten in her shoulders as she heard the rhythmic thuds of perihan's feet against the cupboard door. ❛ life is fine, ❜ she replied almost mechanically, her voice barely concealing the exhaustion that shadowed her words. fahriye didn't want to tell perihan about her own health diagnosis just yet. the fact that she was losing her sight at a rapid speed in her left eye was something she was still trying to accept. and other than that, what life existed beyond the sterile walls of the hospital? speaking of ... ❛ work is … also fine, ❜ she added, the words delicate and deliberate as she skirted the jagged edges of truth. the reality of her work was a delicate balance of suffering and false hope, so fae decided to shield her sister from the gory details.

❛ and, you? ❜ she inquired, now turning around and taking a few steps to peri and handing off the tea, her gaze steady yet guarded.

[thisisalovestry]

file -> phrases that are going to shift something in me forever

[insomniparty]

[lustingupon]

[joonho-bm]

Esra tucked her bottom lip between her teeth, absentmindedly nibbling on it as a wave of warmth washed over her at Fahriye's gentle question. She let her friend continue, words spilling out that Esra hadn’t realized she desperately needed to hear. Ensnared in her own world, isolated within the confines of her metaphorical tower, Esra had completely overlooked the fact that others were capable of truly understanding her struggles. The ceaseless debates with Rahmi had left her feeling almost alien, creating a disconcerting sense of isolation. Yet, Fahriye seemed to intuitively comprehend her circumstances, even if it was framed simply as a part of life’s intricate tapestry. It had been far too long since Esra had felt the comforting embrace of understanding, even like this.

Her nose crinkles and her brown eyes gleam when Fahriye gives her a playful bump. She giggles, her gaze lifting to catch Rahmi watching her intently. For a moment, her confidence wavers, but she knows she can't let herself falter. She gives him a knowing look before turning to Fae. "Hopefully, we’ll get to see more of each other," she says with a wink, nodding in Rahmi's direction. "How about I introduce you to my husband?"

[fchriyekocak]

fahriye found it challenging to share her more positive emotions with others, as there were only a select few people whom she truly felt at ease expressing her lighter side around. this had been a recurring issue throughout her entire life, a struggle between her inner sense of emotional freedom and the societal expectations that had shaped a standard for outward expression. despite the external pressures dictating the "right" way to convey joy and happiness, fahriye held firm to her belief that there should be no limitations on how one chooses to express their positive feelings.

however, a moment of clarity came when she noticed the captivating sparkle in esra's eyes during their casual conversation, which effortlessly prompted a genuine smile to adorn fahriye's face. there was no pretense, no forced facade; just an authentic exchange of emotions between friends. ❛ i'm glad you're back, esra. it will definitely make things easier, ❜ fahriye mentioned sincerely before adding, ❛ where are you currently residing in town? ❜ her curiosity was piqued as she awaited esra's response.

then, when the topic shifted to meeting esra's husband, fahriye playfully rolled her large, expressive onyx eyes. ❛ i had hoped for more time to chat, but i suppose it's only fair that i meet the man who captured the heart of one of my longest lasting friendships, ❜ she quipped in jest. despite her light-hearted tone, there was always an air of truth woven into fahriye's words, especially when it involved her close friends, as she knew there were layers of meaning hidden within playful banter. ❛ lead the way, ❜ she added graciously.

[nataliedcluca]

Natalie wasn't coaching the game, but it felt like it at times with certain calls as she would call out towards the closer teams' coach to give them pointers. She'd been warned a few too many times by the coach and referees that Natalie had to make sure that she stayed in her seat and kept her shouts to positive ones, rather than what she called constructive criticism. So her notes app was open in her phone, marking down everything that could help her own girls' team during their next practice as she smiled at her friend.

Fae didn't seem to be enjoying the game as much as herself, but she was there with Natalie which meant the world to her as she grinned with a nod. "It's a warning flag. It means that either one of the teams needs to be checked before they get a red card." And she'd seen the look in the eyes of the player in question, which had her wondering if she should try to get them to join her team in the future or how to counter the moves so that it never came to that. "You'll get the hang of it all, I promise."

[fchriyekocak]

fahriye, feeling out of place and uncomfortable at the sports match, found herself unable to resist the temptation to glance at natalie's notes application, hoping to gain some insight into the confusing situation unfolding before her. the unfamiliarity of the scene irked fahriye; she longed for clarity and understanding in an environment that seemed like a different universe altogether.

despite her reservations about being at a sporting event, she knew she had to break away from her routine at the hospital to appease her father's persistent requests for her to have a social life. even though fahriye had achieved so much professionally, she couldn't shake off the feeling of disappointment that seemed to arise from her parents' constant reminders about her lack of social engagement. deep down, she yearned for their approval and recognition of her dedication and hard work.

❛ no, i don't think i will. ❜ fahriye says. not defeatedly, factually. she places her hands into her lap and pushes them together i a ball, thumbs moving to rub over the other. ❛ it's not just the flag colours i don't understand, but everything else that comes with it. ❜ from what's she has typically witnessed, lots of people who are into sports exhibit extreme behaviours, like the face painting and screaming, so it's even more of a phenomenon to examine, which for fahriye, that could install some fun.

❛ what happens next? ❜

[jackabbot]

THE PITT 1.06 • 12:00 P.M.

[fchriyekocak]

𝙲𝙻𝙾𝚂𝙴𝙳 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁   :    fahriye ﹠    alara kaplan @ PARADISE POINT RESORT & SPA.

it was a rare occasion for fahriye to have a full day off from her busy schedule. to finally find herself with a day solely to enjoy her own company, free from any worries, was a moment she cherished deeply, even though she carried a sense of internal responsibility at all times. initially, fae had considered inviting olivia to spend the day together, she had to content herself with the knowledge that olivia was occupied. turning to esra as her next option, but honestly she didn't want to appear too forward, despite her natural inclination towards assertiveness.

choosing to reach out to alara as her final choice — sweetening the deal by letting alara know that it was her treat — fahriye acknowledged the differences in their personalities, understanding that it was precisely this contrast that gave their interactions an intriguing dynamic. finding herself ( unable to unwind fully ) in one of the common lounges post what was supposed to be a rejuvenating mud bath, fahriye's tranquil reprieve was interrupted as alara made her entrance into the room.

❛ so, ❜ fahriye begins, as casually as she can be, ❛ how are you feeling after that scalp message or wherever you've just come from? ❜ then, fae asks with a sly, knowing smile: ❛ are you floating in a sea of calmness or battling turbulent waves of agitation? ❜ this is what her own message therapist asked fahriye when her time was up, and she had a feeling alara was given the same question or something along those same lines.

[sahrademir]

At the stranger's question, Sahra's head tilted to the side a bit (much like a dog's when in thought) before her sparkling gaze drifted downwards. As she looked between their respective feet, she couldn't help but to laugh. It started off as soft, quiet giggles, before quickly devolving into full on belly laughs. "Maybe they squeeze your toes?" She offered between laughs, eyes moving to look back at Fahriye, who's nearly stoic expression had her laughing harder. The situation was entirely too ridiculous and Sahra couldn't help it.

"What else would you call being slapped with a bouquet and ending up with a mouth full of petals? Do you prefer petal-boarding? You know like water boarding but with petals. Hey- maybe the CIA will want in on this new technique, you should call them. Get the credit. Maybe they'll even pay you." Despite her joking ramblings, Sahra wasn't completely obtuse, and the other's heavy sigh didn't escape her. In fact, it prompted the former television host to actually look at the scene before her. The sight of the obliterated bouquet causing her face to fall and her brows to knit together. "Well that's a shame, but maybe I can help you. Let me, uh, replace your flowers there. I mean, it's the least I can do after you hit me in the face with 'em, right?" She mused, offering her a tentative grin. "Both of our afternoons don't have to be completely ruined by ruined things."

[fchriyekocak]

fahriye remained fixated on sahra, a study in contrasts to the woman before her. fahriye's unwavering composure and profound intensity seemed almost magnified in comparison to sahra's unrestrained mirth. while sahra continued to guffaw at her own jest, fahriye remained stoic, her expression seemingly impervious to the infectious laughter that had overtaken sahra. the stark divergence in their reactions further highlighted the peculiar dynamic between the two, casting a surreal and humorous light on the scene unfolding before them. ❛ ... ah, humour. yes ... i have it, too. ❜ fahriye's lips curved up into a faint, albeit somewhat forced, smile at the mention of humor. there was a subtle hint of irony in her tone, evident from the way her eyes momentarily flitted towards the woman's tattered shoes.

it was clear that she was trying to lighten the mood, but the awkwardness in the air lingered palpably. yet, despite the tension, fahriye couldn't ignore the empathy stirring within her. with a touch of sincerity in her voice, she slowly spoke up, affirming, ❛ i'm not going to offer you my own shoes, but i'll help you get a new pair. a pair that better matches your outfit. ❜ her gaze shifted towards sahra, and although her expression remained solemn, a slight softness crept into her features, revealing her underlying compassion. ❛ is that fair? ❜

❛ yeah, — no. i get it. petal-boarding, that's a good one. ❜ fahriye says, simply to appease the woman and move on. then, fahriye ends up tacking on at the end: ❛ weed-wacking was right there, though. ❜ surprising herself with her own stab at a jest with the strange woman. the stranger offers her own help in return to replace the flowers and considers how kind the gesture is. fahriye has already admitted she's willing to help the other find a new pair of shoes, they may as well make it an adventure and replace the bouquet of flowers. ❛ alright. let's go, then. let's fine you shoes first before you break anything or topple over anymore helpless floral. ❜

[chineseretard]

im like a girl if she was an indoor cat

[fchriyekocak]

𝙲𝙻𝙾𝚂𝙴𝙳 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁   :    fahriye ﹠    natalie de luca @ A SOCCER GAME OUTSIDE OF BRIAR RIDGE.

fahriye sat stoically in the first row, her expression betraying the blending of fascination and confusion as she watched the game unfold before her. the subdued colours of her attire contrasted with the vibrant hues of the playing field, where athletes tirelessly pursued the ball with agility and determination. despite her renowned intellect, there existed a disconnect in fahriye's understanding of the intricacies of sports - a realm where her interest seemed muted compared to the fervour of fans around her. as she observed the players' movements and the strategic maneuvers on the field, she couldn't help but feel a sense of perplexity that others derived such joy and excitement from the spectacle.

natalie, the sports enthusiast seated beside her, radiated enthusiasm and happiness, thoroughly engrossed in the unfolding drama of the match. fahriye, however, found herself grappling with the sheer complexity and nuances of the game, evidenced by her puzzled expression as she pointed towards the field, ❛ alright, so — what's happening here? what's that yellow flag mean? i thought that only happened in football, ❜ and inquired about the significance of a yellow flag, a sight unfamiliar to her outside the realm of football, or any sport, really. fahriye had no idea what the fuck was going on.

[joonho-bm]

Esra listened carefully, softening at the sight of her friend. Fahriye was trying to figure out the best way to respond to her sudden arrival, and the mere thought of her wanting to convey that carefully eased her. Sighing, she rubbed her arm affectionately. "Fae, you can react however you feel. If you need to yell, give me the silent treatment, or even bump me—" she nudged her playfully, their hips touching. "You wouldn’t be the first person to feel strange about it." Esra couldn’t deny that her departure had caught most of her friends by surprise. Once she met Rahmi, it felt as if her world outside of him started to fade away. In some ways, her leaving made a lot of sense. Although she hadn’t yet had the chance to figure it all out, Esra knew she would get the opportunity with Fahriye.

[fchriyekocak]

fahriye’s curiosity was evident, earnest to their bond that allowed for open communication. with a hint of amusement in her gaze, she considers esra's question, appreciating the fact how easily they seemed to be flowing with the conversation. ❛ why would i do any of that? ❜ fahriye’s query was met with a small, empathetic smile. she chuckles at esra, giving a gently pointed look. ❛ well, of course it's strange, ❜ fahriye replied, her voice tinged with a smidge of nostalgia. ❛ for us, it's been years since we last saw each other, or even exchanged a word over the phone. ❜ with a casual shrug, she dismissed the notion, appearing genuinely unbothered by the fact that their once-close friendship had faded into the background of their busy lives. this was simply the way of life, she mused. esra had blossomed into a celebrated figure, capturing the attention of many, while fahriye had immersed herself deeply in her studies, dedicating countless hours to her academic pursuits. life had taken them on different paths, and while the distance between them had grown, she accepted it with a sense of understanding and peace. that was just how life unfolded, and she was okay with it. ❛ i'm also glad that you're here, esra. you know me. i'm not a fan of many people, but i am a fan of you. and it's nice to see your familiar eyes. ❜ this time, fae does bump her friend back with her hip, a small but easy grin playing on her typically tight lips.

[shewantsyou]

New crush: Özge Yağız (ig @ozgeyaizz)