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tannertan36
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@featherpuma
why are alloros so obsessed with romance?
it's just... sad to see. do you not have anything else in your life? at all?
why are aces/aros so obsessed with ace discourse and blogging about not fucking or dating?
it's just... sad to see. do you not have anything else in your life? at all?
WELP.
tbh that person just ended the entire discourse
Mhmmmm
i’m getting a hearing aid this fucking rules
literally hardly ever been this excited in my life
nevermind it makes a noise when you open pill bottles and the noise is awful so i’ve decided i will simply never be hearing again instead
so are you gonna address the brownface or
at least a good 90% of the people who use “tunglr” as a slang for tumblr in their text posts are aphobes so maybe think twice before reblogging a post with that word in it
do y'all have jobs
can you stop being fucking ableist with your insinuations that every ace inclusionist is “jobless” and “has too much free time” like grow up.
this is so funny
go outside
aphobic dogwhistles (stay safe guys 😳)
"lgbt"
"tunglr"
the "😳" emoji
"cishet"
lesbian flag icon
being a lesbian
i fucking hate to make an ace discourse post in 20 fucking 20 but it really needs to be said and i KNOW this is gonna come off as a smarmy “i told you so post”
but i’ve been on twitter recently and there is a fucking DELUGE of people promoting the idea of “bisexual lesbians” (never bisexual gay men but like… that’s a tangential dialogue for another time). this idea that you can be bisexual and a lesbian at the same time is a direct product of the split attraction model.
this is the EXACT shit i was talking about when I said rhetoric from ace community is not compatible, at all, with the LGBT community.
sexualizing the -sexual suffix so “bisexual” SOLELY means “SEXUALLY attracted to the opposite gender” so someone can be bisexual and “homoromantic” is ACTIVELY harmful to lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals. it sexualizes bisexuals without consent and COMPLETELY redefines what gayness is so it can include attraction to the “opposite” gender.
and this is just one example of how ace inclusion–not just the inclusion of cisgender, straight aces but also the prioritization of ace ideals–hurts the LGBT community. the rhetoric that you can have sex with people you aren’t attracted to to “make it work” romantically is conversion therapy rhetoric. Ace inclusion makes it seem like the LGBT community is about our relationships to sex when that just isn’t true. Ace inclusion means “desexualizing” LGBT spaces so as not to upset asexuals. All this shit AND MORE is happening in real time and I’ve watched it get worse and worse, hand in hand with the commercialization of LGBT pride and the liberalization of LGBT activism.
ace rhetoric is eroding LGBT identities. the idea of the “bisexual lesbian” and other mogai microidentities where you parse every single aspect of your identity into a different label is actively harming vulnerable LGBT people.
and, no, this isn’t me saying “even LGBT aces have to go,” but this is me saying that putting ace identities at the forefront of ANY LGBT discussions leaves a lot of space for harm for LGBT people. and that any fucking ace rhetoric besides “it’s okay to not feel sexual attraction or want to have sex” comes at the expense of LGBT identity.
genuinely, the concept of “bisexual lesbian” is a direct product of the ace community and it has caused lesbians and bisexual women irreparable harm. and aces should be ashamed of this because this is what they have been defending for years.
this is the EXACT shit we said would come out of the split attraction model and now we have TEENAGERS telling strangers and adults “i’m sexually attracted to [x genders] but only romantically into [y]” and y’all think this is okay. even if it weren’t fucking INSANE to say lesbians can be attracted to men or that bisexuals can be half gay or half straight, you’d STILL be out of fuckng line having KIDS center identities around SOLELY sexual attraction.
i’m ripshit pissed
i am saying this with everything i have–there is NOTHING positive to come out of the ace community that couldn’t have been identically accomplished by simply saying “you don’t ever have to want sex, you don’t owe anyone sex, it’s okay to not sexually desire anyone” which is shit feminism has already been doing.
London pride having room for asexuals and corporations but not bisexuals and Tumblr having pride flags for asexuals but not lesbians while also flagging the lesbian tag as nsfw really speaks to why we filthy allogays are concerned about ace inclusionism lol
it says so fucking much that America just made it legal for doctors to refuse trans people, Hungary outlawed legal transition entirely meaning Hungarian intersex and trans people have to live with their agab and their deadname without any way to change it and Poland made talking about any LGBT topics during education in a positive light or at ALL completely illegal but inclus are upset to the point of getting to the trending page because some people dared to say that spongebob was gay like. this is exactly the shit i mean when i say asexies have wildly different priorities than actual lgbt people lmao
idk can we stop…treating a.ce disc.ourse like it’s some haha funney cringe compilation or whatever the fuck because it fucking destroyed the entire ace and aro communities. there is no solid aspec community on tumblr anymore (which was by far the biggest number of aspec ppl). exclusionists took our community and fucking smashed it to pieces and y'all treat it as this fucking stupid joke when they traumatized, gaslit, and abused an entire group of queer people back into the closet. fuck every single person who doesn’t take that seriously.
My personal experience is just that, but it’s really indicative that I have watched almost every single ace and aro person I know, irl and online, actively recloset themselves as a direct result of the consequences of The Disc Horse™
I watched irl queer groups disintegrate bc a few ppl who got into leadership positions used that to make the space hostile towards ace ppl (among others as well), saw friends go from being loud and proud aces n aros to actively avoiding any mention of it and letting ppl assume their sexuality. I myself, having been IDing as ace for 10 years at least, have in the past couple since this whole “"discourse”“ came into being, actively and intentionally stopped telling anyone at all that I’m ace. To put that in some kind of perspective, I am incredibly out as trans and will actively out myself pretty constantly except to total strangers I will never see again. I feel safer telling ppl I’m trans than ace. Especially in queer spaces. It’s fucked me up so much I didn’t even quite grasp how much but today my therapist asked me for the first time about like romantic relationships and I physically could not say I am aro and ace. Completely incapable, utterly frozen, and I just kinda let her believe what she will. Ironically the fact that I’ve gone from being willing and ready to tell ppl I’m ace as just another facet of myself to entirely unable and unsolicited to tell anyone, is probably a thing one might want to talk w one’s therapist about.
This has really fucked not just the community at large but fucked up individual ace ppl in so many ways. It’s not something “funny” or remotely harmless, it’s absolutely devastated us.
like even if you believe that ace people aren’t truly oppressed or what the fuck ever can you maybe realise that when i, a Confirmed Lesbian who will share that identity with anyone who stands still to listen for two minutes:
a) will no longer tell people i am ace until months into a knowing each other & even then am completely prepared for rejection, bc that is what my online experience has taught me to expect.
b) am more afraid to tell queer people that i’m ace than straight people - genuinely! i am more concerned that queer people will react badly to that than straight people!
can you maybe then accept that somewhere along the line we fucked up? can you accept that whatever your belief is on what the experiences which, as a community, ace people share - & boy oh boy do i wish you would listen to us about that - the real effect that all of this has had on individual people is unacceptable? bc it is not acceptable, not at all, & i am so tired of keeping my mouth shut about it
I will never understand asexual people’s obsession with informing other people that they’re asexual. Being gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender? Those are all significant to the way you interact with the world. You have to tell your mom you’re bringing home a girl for Christmas. You have to tell the hospital that your emergency contact is John Smith, your husband. You have to screw up the courage to tell your boss that actually she should call you Ashley, not Tyler, and that you want her to use female pronouns to talk about you because you’re transitioning to female. You have to bring up your bisexuality when your uncle asks you how you had a girlfriend last year, why are you dating a man this year?
Being LGB, that is, being lesbian, gay, or bisexual: all of these things affect more than your bedroom life or your relationship with your partner. They affect just about everything in your life, because who you love, marry, settle down with, and/or raise kids with is a prominent part of our culture. Not to mention being the proverbial “T"ransgender is even more involved than that, since you have to change everything down to the little three or two letter honorific words people call you at the supermarket.
The problem with asexual discourse is not that it’s ridiculous (it is) or that it’s unproductive (it also is). It’s that it’s fundamentally flawed. So, so many vocal asexual people on Tumblr are obsessed with forcing their narratives into every single space that they see as “queer.” They are fixated on that notion of “fitting into the queer community” because of what? Because they…don’t have sex…and don’t experience sexual attraction?
Being asexual is relevant to absolutely no one in your life besides your sexual partner. No one is marching with signs that say God Hates Aces. No asexual person, in the context of being asexual specifically, is afraid to use a busy sports stadium bathroom in the American Deep South, walk home late at night through a Brazilian slum wearing women’s clothes and knowing they’re not passing as a woman, or give their partner a kiss in public in Russia. The obsession with “coming out” as ace, telling friends and family, and otherwise insisting that the whole world knows is not only bizarre but irrelevant. It is not a significant societal struggle to have no libido. Outside of Tumblr, no one gives a damn what an “asexual” is nor do they really care to discriminate based on being asexual versus not asexual. The fact that people both directly on this post and in the notes are claiming “I feel safer coming out as trans than as ace” really shows the absolute deluded mindset of these people. People are assaulted for being transgender on a daily basis. The suicide rates of the gay, lesbian, and bi populations are still elevated to an alarming degree compared to their heterosexual peers. Something like 40% of homeless youth who were forcibly removed from their houses, or otherwise fled in fear of their safety, identify as some kind of LGBT, and that is, lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender, full stop. No “ace” numbers are included in that statistic as it is completely irrelevant to this discussion. No one is kicked out of their homes for coming out as not wanting to have sex. I can’t imagine a scenario in which it would even be sensible to tell one’s parents that sort of thing unless it was related to some kind of medical treatment for actual diagnosed issues with your libido. If you want to get together as a group and talk about the ways you experience life as people who don’t feel sexual attraction, no one is stopping you. If you want to partipate in the LGBT community as a bi, lesbian, gay, or transgender person who also happens to be ace, I see no problem with using the community as a resource for that part of your identity. Everyone is welcome in the LGBT community who is LGBT. No one is excluding ace lesbians from a pride parade. No one is yelling at aro trans men that they’re not valid because of their aromanticism. I don’t like to abuse this word, but I truly cannot even fathom the PRIVILEGE it took for you to write this post. Get your head out of your ass and go think about how lucky you are for this to be something you have the time and space to let upset you so much. It’s unhealthy to spend all your time in a queer-theory academic circlejerk.
me: *runs without a binder on*
dysphoria: you look like this
The Cultural Impact of Pansexuality
Ola from Sex Education
David from Schitt’s Creek
Ali from Big Mouth
Three different shows, three different ways of describing pansexuality. What do they all have in common? The assertion they are attracted to trans people. More than that, it’s the assertion that pansexuality is defined as a sexuality through attraction to trans and nb people. While some people might protest that this is an inaccurate representation of pansexuality, it is very much in line with it’s slogan: hearts not parts. This also has the additional implication that other sexualities are not inclusive of trans and nonbinary people or care more about genitals, which enables transphobes to define what it means to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Gay, lesbian, and bi people can and do have trans and nb partners and in fact are often trans/nb themselves.
Pansexuality going mainstream has revealed a lot of its fundamental flaws and it’s time to wonder if it’s time to break up with it entirely.
There’s another point in Schitt’s Creek where Johnny explains David’s sexuality as “He loves everyone. Men, women, women who become men, men who become women.“
A lot of people in the notes are saying that this is just the bad media representation and isn’t representative of the pansexual community, but until recent backlash, this was exactly almost word for word how anyone I‘ve known who identifies as pansexual explained how their sexuality is different from bisexual people.
A close friend of mine who is a trans woman started dating a woman a couple years ago and when she came out to her as trans, she said “Oh don’t worry, I’m pansexual.” When I first learned about the term pansexual only 5 years ago, it was explained to be as “attraction to men, women, and transgender people.” So let’s not pretend this is just the media poorly representing pansexuality, when pansexuality has only been recently rebranded as “Pan=no gender preferences, bi=gender preferences” because of people rightfully pointing out how fucked up the “attracted to men, women, and transgenders” is.
hey remember when a pair of Ecuadorian brothers got beaten so severely it put them in the hospital because they were leaning on each other in public
is it just me or do we all get dysphoric about the weirdest shit like I'll go to use a reaction image and pause n go "wait no the person in the pic is a woman I can't possibly use this"
genuine question is crazy acey like. a serious blog. i thought it was a joke but apparently not?????
if they are a troll they’re a really dedicated one.
the crazy acey drama has been going on FOREVER. like.. january of 2018 crazy acey had a discord server (actually i think it was owned by asexualbenvolio but we’ll unpack that in a second) for queer shakespeare headcanons and there was SO MUCH drama. like, one of the members was making islamiphobic “jokes” about 9/11, crazy acey kinning old gregg and being super transmisogynistic about it, honestly i can go on for hours that entire server was a shitshow. eventually enough exclus took over and they deleted the server.
but the lore of crazy acey and asexualbenvolio’s former friendship runs really deep. crazy acey would do shitty things to benvolio CONSTANTLY. like posting intentionally triggering images and blaming it on age regression (???), blaming them for drama that was happening in the server, forcing them to ban certain people from the server even if they did nothing wrong, etc. even though benvolio owned the server, acey called the shots and would guilt benvolio into doing whatever they wanted. and no matter what benvolio would defend crazy acey. and now on tumblr asexualbenvolio has been calling out acey for their problematic behavior, which is honestly really nice to see.
but the “character” of crazy acey has been consistent for as long as the blog has been active: kinning problematic characters, having headcanons for real life individuals, and being transmisogynistic have always been staples of their personality. i’m almost convinced that they are a real person that actually holds these beliefs. maybe they’re exaggerating for attention. maybe they’re mentally ill in some way (i’m not one to armchair diagnose so i’m not gonna elaborate on that). or maybe they’re just a troll. i genuinely do not know.
I’m always looking for discourse blogs to follow,
exclusionists rb this and I’ll follow you *
*offer does not apply to terfs or truscum
