* HEARTRENDER ( with heart ) !

‘ he means well. ’

[fedyur]

( IND. SEL. & SLOW ) FEDYOR KAMINSKY* / PENNED BY JAY.

→ FROM LEIGH BARDUGO’S GRISHAVERSE / netflix series, book, & headcanon influences. - EST. 6.21 – ( she/her, 21 + ) do not follow if you are under 18! → carrd. / psd. - *this is a sideblog off of @dirtycrow. ( & ALSO DASH ONLY ! )

currently reading; ruin & rising - tagged #r & r spoilers

[dirtycrow]

this blog is going on hiatus ( unsure for how long, i’ve got a lot of irl things going on right now as well as some health issues i’m dealing with ) but in the mean time you can find me ( and kaz & fedyor ) at @withink

[dirtycrow]

♫ I WAS WORKING IN THE LAB LATE ONE NIGHT, WHEN MY EYES BEHELD AN EERIE SIGHT ♫ – oh my god vampires are real. AND werewolves ! and just about everything that goes bump in the night ! but fear not ! we’re still in the grishaverse, just you know… a tad bit spooookier.

RULES: 

( 1 ). muns and muses must be 18+; there may be triggering material present ( 2 ). the tag we’ll use is of course #MONSTER MASH GV  ( 3 ). OCs are welcome ! so are duplicate muses, as long as the first mun okays it. ( 4 ). just be a nice person ! it’s not that hard.

if you’re interested in joining, please send me the following info: mun name, age, pronouns, muse name, age, pronouns, monster species* ( if you need ideas - check out the link ! there can also be more than one of each species ! so don’t worry about anything being taken already ) - I’ll be sending out a discord sever invite as well once that is all set up ( if you’re interested in joining ).

*NOTE: many monsters are based within cultural folklore from around the world - please keep that in mind when choosing a type of monster for your muse. be conscious of that, and be respectful.

MEMBERS:

→ kaz brekker, 118 18, he/him, vampire - @dirtycrow ( jay, 24, she/her ) → fedyor kaminsky, unknown, he/him, reaper - @fedyur ( jay, 24, she/her ) → ivan medvedev, unknown, he/him, dullahan - @djelvar ( alex, 31, she/her ) → matthias helvar, 23, he/him, werewolf - @djelvar ( alex, 31, she/her ) → malyen oretsev, 22, he/him, fae - @beblade ( eza, 24, they/them ) → alina starkova, 20, she/her, huli jing - @sanktasolntse​ ( emma, 20, she/they )

[justanotherrpmeme]

Send 💬  for me to make you a starter with a random line of dialogue from this generator.

[fedyur]

@beartsar said: ❝  for what it’s worth, i’m glad you’re coming with me.  ❞

he smiles, reaching out to take the other man’s hand in his own. their hearts thrum in sync. visiting the little palace after everything they’d been through, was never something on fedyor’s to do list - but for ivan? he’d brave anything.

“ of course, mishka. anything for you. ”

at first it felt wrong to don their keftas once more, the material now old and tattered after that fateful battle. but with a new generation of grisha children at the little palace ( a generation raised on fear and always taught to look over their shoulders ) appearing in familiar colors rather than their more typical peasant garb, seemed the logical decision.

“ i wonder how much it has changed since our time there. ”

 ( from an old meme i can’t find )

[fedyur]

hi yes lb i’d like to talk

[fedyur]

fedyor calling alina moi soverenyi and following her orders without question… reblog if u agree

[fedyur]

making graphics is lowkey EXHAUSTING good lord

[fedyur]

❝ HEARTRENDERS, SOULMATES; two halves of a whole ❞

penned by jay and alex🔪     /     poem.     psd.     graphic.

[fedyur]

beartsar​:

with a roll of his eyes, ivan lowers onto the nest of blankets piled around fedyor, bringing his hands together as he allows the other to swathe him. a flick of his wrist. he reaches out across himself. and with a tut he touches fedyor’s chest, increasing his heart rate to send warmth all the way to the tips of his toes – staying that way, huddled together, allowing himself to get comfortable.

he allows another smile as well and it’s much softer —  for once, he isn’t fighting it.   ❝ we are stronger than the measly weather, my heart. ❞   fedyor’s heart beats beneath his fingers as if it were reaching up to greet him. it is not without difficulty that he tears his gaze away to cast it upon the clear night sky above.   ❝ as for the stars, ❞   he shrugs, he knows he can pick out the important ones in a pinch, if he’s ever lost enough. and then there are the ones important to him for silly reasons much closer to the vest. dark eyes glance at his other half, warmth spreading through his own body from fed’s laughter alone.   ❝ i can’t say i’ll get a passing grade on my own, but i am open to your tutelage. ❞

fedyor tries to suppress his smile, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, in a feeble attempt to calm himself - but he can already feel ivan’s hand on his chest, the warmth running through his veins, sending that comfortable, thrumming heat all the way to his toes. he doesn’t shed the blanket yet, however, using it now more as a cocoon to keep ivan gently pressed up against his side, than as a deterrent to the cold.

“ oh no, i’m terrible at naming the stars. utterly terrible. you’d be far better off finding a book of star charts in the library, ” a soft chuckle follows his declaration.

he tears his gaze away from ivan for a moment and looks to the stars in question, while his free hand aimlessly reaches for ivan’s own, quickly finding it - fingers threading into place like puzzle pieces. both their palms are warm, but fedyor lifts their joined hands to his cheek, pressing the back of ivan’s hand against the chilled flesh. a contented sigh escapes his lips before he moves their hands back down to the blanket.

half tempted to lean back, but partly worried he might fall asleep right out here in the courtyard, fedyor does so anyways, inviting ivan to do the same - the multitude of blankets providing ample cushion against the hard ground.

“ —- do you ever think about life outside the little palace, mishka ? about what we might do after the war ? ”

[fedyur]

still not over the fact that this motherfucker’s name is essentially theodore

[dirtycrow]

ok i’m gonna do those m&d inbox things tomorrow my brain is flat out gone

[fedyur]

i caught a second wind and apparently that was only for fiv/an angst, you’re welcome world

[fedyur]

when ur boss says your bf cant come on the mission

[fedyur]

beartsar​:

concentration fizzles at fedyor’s movement and ivan glances back up with furrowed brow. his words wash over ivan, their meaning rearing up like a slap to the face and he shakes his head. 

an open palm applies pressure to the wound. lips press in a grim line and ivan leans closer, tipping the other’s chin up so as to hold his full attention.

       ❝ i’m not going anywhere, my heart. ❞   not without you, the words hang in the empty air, a solid note above the soft drumming of two hearts alone, surrounded by the silence of death. it’s a tense score after the presumed climax and yet, there’s something waiting like a promise in the dark where the shadows meet.

                     ( heartache ).

he returns to the task at hand, focus coming to a point as he works to visualise the broken veins mending themselves — he cannot linger on the losses they sustained. that alexei, their healer, would have been able to save fedyor without a second thought. that mila, their inferni, should have been able to defend them to afford ivan precious seconds to stop the bleeding sooner. lips twist and he does what he can to shove the thoughts aside.   ❝ and, for the record? ❞   ivan spares another lingering look, lips pulling up into something that might have been a smile were it worn by anyone else,   ❝ neither are you. i won’t allow it. ❞   it’s meant as a joke, though it falls decidedly flat as two fingers trace a line in the air above the wound and he fights with every ounce of his being to mould his power to his will,    ❝ you can’t. ❞

crimson tinged lips suck in a heavy, rattling breath. fedyor can feel the wounds shifting and changing — healing, thanks to ivan - but his pain is fading to a dull numbness even quicker that ivan can work.

an untrained mind might find that reassuring, but fedyor knows otherwise.

reaching for ivan’s frantic hands, cooler, steadier fingers move to wrap gently around them in comfort, “it is okay, ivan. i know you are trying your best.” a harsh wet cough. a hand lifts to cover his mouth, sticky crimson liquid staining the red of his kefta even redder.

fedyor always admired their hearttender colors, saw them as a symbol of strength, their dedication to their crafts. now, it’s almost cruel irony, a great big cosmic joke — that a man wearing blood red armor, might die, adorned in his own blood.

he could tell ivan was growing tired, the other man still emphatically attempting to heal his wounds, when they both knew that was not his greatest talent.

“it’s okay, mishka. it doesn’t hurt.”

[fedyur]

okay but your fedyor? also stunning. i love reading heartrender muses bc their powers are so fucking interesting and lend themselves to like such poetic language?? and like you do such a beautiful job w fedyor and that balance of sweetness and discipline and class that he has???? chefs kiss!!!!

ugh TARA i’m gonna get a cavity with all this sweetness ?? fjjfjf but seriously thank you 🥺❤️

beep beep how’s my portrayal?

[musingmeme-blog]

beep beep how’s my portrayal ?

[beartsar]

from @fedyur

like a candle, unceremoniously snuffed out, so does the light vanish from fedyor’s eyes.

he refuses to see ivan’s body, doesn’t want the memory of that image burned into his brain. he believes the healers responsible for gathering the dead - it is him. they have no reason to lie to him - fedyor knows the truth. he can’t feel it anymore.

ivan’s heartbeat.

it’s as if his own heart has ceased to beat as well, the space in his chest a gaping, cavernous hole, before the universe decides it needs filled and packs it full of grief - of anger - of quiet, tearless sadness.

he’s different now, harder, colder. nothing like the fedyor of years past. he follows the darkling’s orders without hesitation, hellbent on retribution, revenge for his lost love.

he is ruthless. a killer.

in children’s stories and ravkan folktales, when one loses their soulmate, a piece of their heart dies too - a young fedyor would have never guessed the truth could be much, much worse.

my muse is dead and tbh? so am i with this one.