yamaguchi recantation au. g o w i l d ☜(˚▽˚)☞
i’m guessing you meant reincarnation? if not...let me know? otherwise enjoy!! :D
masterlist | reincarnation!au | yamaguchi tadashi
the first time he fell in love with you was in the year 1722, you were a nobel, highly esteemed and he was but a lowly servant boy. but you had taken a fondness to him, showing him nothing but kindness.
your husband, whomst you had very little love for if any at all- an arranged marriage made purely for money- would be furious if he found you sleeping with yamaguchi
and yet yamaguchi continued to love you, to show you what real love was supposed to be like, and for that you loved him deeply and passionately, but never outwardly
“run away with me,” he begged, taking your hands in his, “we could live a great life, we could love freely, please [y/n]!” he held your hands tightly, and you smiled at him, so this was it. the decision that changed everything.
“okay.” he beamed, his freckled face lighting up. “tonight, let’s leave tonight!” he agrees to meet you in front of the tea shop you two both love so much.
but as you see him, only a few feet away, so close- guards come out and arrest you for cheating on your husband, claiming you are to be beheaded. “run, tadashi!” you yell, struggling against the strong men, “run! run and live! live a life for me!” you cry, being taken away and tadashi, he runs. he runs so fast and so far that he ends up passing out due to exhaustion
he wakes in a small hut, an older man staring at him. “one wish.”
“if you had one wish, what would it be?” tadashi is confused, sleep fogging his mind from asking questions or being alert.
“i...i guess i would wish to live the love my life, forever.” he says, “but...they’ve died.” he swallows thickly. “[y/n], oh, why [y/n]...” he regrets everything, he should’ve never asked you to run away with him.
“okay,” the man says, a glint in his eyes. “you seem like a man who could use a wish come true. so, i will grant this one.” tadashi had no idea what that meant in the moment, but he was thankful the man allowed him to stay with him until he was on his feet.
it wasn’t until he realized, ten years later, he hadn’t aged a day. oh god, why hadn’t he aged? but the mysterious and kind man had been long gone by then.
the second time he loved you it was in the 1800′s, and of course you had to be born into royalty once again. he was working odd jobs, currently he was a gardener, and you, a prince/ss, had arrived to meet the prince in hopes of marrying him
instead you met yamaguchi, who nearly cried when he first saw you. “you can’t be...but...but you died...” you look at yourself and furrow your brows.
“but i am not dead.” you say, laughing a bit. “do i look familiar? i have that kind of face, i’ve been told.”
you’re drawn to him, like a moth to a flame. he can’t allow you to follow the same fate so he tries to distance himself but you’re additctive to him, and he can’t seem to deny you
the longer you stayed in the palace with the prince, the more you visited tadashi, the more you talked and fell in love with him. the more you dreamed of him, the more you craved his interaction and you could tell he felt the same.
you confess your love to him by the giant rose bush, and he’s too overjoyed that he claims he feels the same way- he does, but he wish he hadn’t said that, he wish he ignored you.
“you love me too?” you let out a relieved breath. “then...would you run away with me?” he is frozen, and this time, he declines telling you that its too risky, that its dangerous and you’ll surely be caught and killed
but you are as brave as ever, always have been, he supposes.
the prince chooses you out of twelve other princes/ses. but when you move forward, as supposed to thank him, you spat at his feet.
“i do not love you, you are a cruel prince, terrible to be near. you are not kind, i could not marry you!” you shout at him, “i’ve fallen in love with another, a kind man that has showed me what it’s truly like to be loved! a gardener! he is more of man than you’ll ever be!”
the prince, enraged by your outburst, demands you be killed. your eyes widen and you try to claim that you a prince/ss and should be treated as such, but you are in his kingdom, and you are nothing compared to him.
yamaguchi tries to find you, to tell you he changed his mind. he shouldn’t live in fear of the past, but he finds you hung in the courtyard. “[y-y/n]!” he shouts your name, rushing to your limp body and crying. the guards find him and try to take him to the dungeon, but tadashi runs yet again.
he runs until he is far away, and then he grieves. how could he let this happen? you were back in his life and he lost you once again. damn it. damn the world. he swore he’d never love again.
he enters the small diner, he comes there everynight. he praises the person who invented milkshakes, its the only thing that makes him happy about living this long. he gets one everynight, along with a burger and some fries.
and then you enter the diner, and his heart goes from a whirl and shoots down to his stomach. his stomach is churning. you. again. alive.
all the seats in the diner were taken, and as you scan around the diner, you spot him. a force unknown to you drawing you towards him, and then your standing right there. “would it be alright if i sat here?” you asked, and he nods, so you sit down and smile. “my name is [y/n], whats yours?”
he grows sick at the sound of your name, “ah, are you okay? you don’t look so good.” he doesn’t feel good. he feels nauseous. how could he face you when he’s let you down twice already?
“i’m, fine.” he says, brushing you off and look around anxiously, hoping the waiter would hurry up and bring the check.
“oh...okay,” you look down, a small frown on your face and yamaguchi sighs, he can’t do this. no, not again. yet...he looks up at you, a soft smile on his lips.
“you can call me tadashi.”
“tadashi.” you say, smiling gently. “cute name.”
and suddenly he wished the check hadn’t come so quickly, but he paid it and he got up to leave, almost making it to the door.
no, just keep going, he thinks, please just keep going. [y/n] could get killed again because of you...but there are no guards to behead or hang them...maybe this time...maybe...
he turns in his tracks and looks at you, “[y/n].” he says your name as if he’s known you forever. he has, in his defense. you turn and look at him, confusion, but fondness in your eyes. “would you like to...uhm, go on a date with me?”
he’s nervous by how quiet it has grown, but then you smile, and per usual, like your smiles always make him feel, he relaxes and is at peace. “sure,” you say, “tadashi...tommorrow, same place, same time?”
and so he went, same place, same time, different meaning.
you two talked the entire night, thankful it was a 24/7 diner. you danced to the jukebox, you laughed at old stories, you drank a thousand milkshakes, and by the time the sunrise, you both decided maybe the late had gone on long enough but neither of you really wanted to go.
“this...may sound weird to say, especially only after a first date, but i feel like i’ve known you a long time.” you tell him, “like maybe we knew each other in a past life or something,” he nearly throws up at your words- did you know? but then you laugh and shake your head. “although that sounds a bit ridiculous, doesn’t it?”
“no-” he says a bit too quickly, taking your hands in his, “i...i feel the same.” he can’t let you go, even if his mind is screaming for him to run away and never look back. another chance to do things right, this time it could be.
“you do?” you say, before looking at his lips and pressing a soft kiss to them.
even now, your lips feel the same as they always have. soft, warm, perfectly molded for his. he warms at the affection, pulling you close to him by the waist, kissing you deeply and passionately and like he was never going to stop
and so you went on another date, and then another, and another until eventually you two had moved in together. this was it, this was the life he wanted- he dreamed of for so long. he finally was going to get his happy ending!
he was going to marry you. “[y/n], meet me at the diner, tonight, okay?” you nod excitedly, telling him you will before pressing a kiss to his cheek and watching him leave for work. today was the day! he was going to propose and be able to love you for as long as he could.
it was then six, and he waited outside the diner, the velvet box in his jacket pocket, an anxious but excited smile on his lips. all he could think about was how long he’s waited to do this. how long he could finally have you as his and to live a fulfilling life!
he saw you across the street, “tadashi!” you yell, waving wildly at him and catching his attention, he laughed and waved back. “hold on!” you say, looking both ways before crossing the street
you looked both ways, you should’ve been safe...but of course reckless and fast drivers always seem to appear out of no where
the car was fast, and hit you dead on.
it was like it happened in slow-motion, despite having happened so fast. yamaguchi saw the car, saw it hit you, saw your body hit the ground, and the car come to a screeching stop. ambulances came instantly, tadashi held on to you tightly, crying.
“tadashi,” you cough out weakly, your hand lifting up to his face. “yes.”
“w-what?” he stutters out, looking at you, tears streaming down his face.
“how did you-” they took you away from him, putting you in the ambulance, he rode in the back with you but you had passed out. he held your hand the entire time.
two days you were in the hospital, critical condition. he slipped the ring on your finger despite you being unconscious. “please...please wake up.” he begged.
you died on your fourth day.
“even if they come back,” he whispers to himself, anger and frustration, “i won’t allow myself to fall in love with them.”
and he kept repeating that to himself like a mantra, so that when you did come back, because you would, he wouldn’t forget.
and now, here we are, this day and age. he works in a small office, has a few friends but none close enough for him to make up a fake past. he lives his life drained of color, of hope, of love.
“tadashi,” his boss calls him over, an office job, how fitting for his now dull life. “we have a new employee, i want you to show them the ropes and what not, okay?” he nods, and agrees. “great! [y/n] come here!”
you come over and smile at tadashi, “hello!”
“i’m...again...” he whispers the last part, before blinking and looking at his boss. “i’m sorry, but i actually can’t... i think hinata would be better fit to help them.”
“oh...” his boss frowns but nods in understandment, “nevermind then, [y/n], i’ll introduce you to hinata- he’s very nice.” you nod and follow your boss to a different area.
yamaguchi goes back to his little box office and then has a full blown panic attack. tadashi is not doing this again, he doesn’t know what he did to deserve this retched wish but he knew he wish he could take it back. he hates this, he hates that he keeps peeking over his wall to catch a glimpse of you.
you’re so beautiful, even now. your beauty seems to increase with each life you’re put into. he finds it funny though, how you’ve gone from royalty to a rookie office worker. he doesn’t realize he’s staring until you meet his eyes. you wave, he ducks back down and hopes you leave him alone
surprise, you don’t. you approach him after a little while, “it’s your lunch break, right? would you like to eat together?”
“o-oh...” you frown and nod, saying you understand and you go to turn around to leave him alone, but he groans internally before calling your name.
“[y/n], right?” he already knows, he doesn’t know why he bothers asking. you nod though, a smile on your lips, his heart sent into a whirlwind of emotions. damn it. god damn you and your damn smile. “actually...i do get pretty lonely eating lunch, let’s go to the balcony.”
and so you do, and every day after you eat lunch out on the balcony, but he stays reserved. you can’t help but feel its your fault, and one day you sigh and pick at your food, “do i make you uncomfortable?” you asked him, “you always seem on edge with me...would you prefer if i left you alone?”
yamaguchi gulps, no...he couldn’t do this...”you remind me of someone i used to know.” he admits, you tilt you head to the side, brows furrowed up and that usualy soft smile on your lips.
“did things end badly with them?”
“they died...” he says, a lot, he thinks. “and you look so much like them, that...it sort of hurts,” he doesn’t know why he’s confessing this to you, he should shut up and leave, “and i...” he hates that tears are forming in his eyes, “it’s my fault, that they’re dead...i was never there, never fast enough...”
your eyes widen, unsure of what to do now that your coworker was crying in front of you, but then, within seconds, your arms are wrapped around him and you’re holding him close. “i’m...i’m so sorry, tadashi, i didn’t know!”
you hugging him only spurs on his sobbing and he hates that hes crying, especially since he’s at work but with you holding once again he just can’t stop himself.
after that its grown quiet between you two...”if you could say something to them,” you say one day, once again picking at your food, was this a habit you always had, he wondered, picking at your food when anxious. “what would you say?”
“...i love you.” he says, meeting your eyes. although you know he’s not saying it to you (he is) it felt like he was. you nod, sinking back down in your chair.
and then you told him if he ever wanted to talk, that you were there.
weeks, months, a year and a half pass by, and you and tadashi, despite having grown incredibly close, remain only friends.
a christmas party is being thrown and you go just to see your coworkers, and tadashi. it was boring until he got there, but the alcohol was nice way to get you feeling tip-top even without him.
“tadashi~” you coo, slinging an arm around him, “you finally came!”
“yeah,” he laughs, your touch warm, sending him to remember all the times you’ve ever touched him- you were always so warm, so soft, so...gentle...
“tadashi, i actually need to confess something to you,” you whisper in his ear, “i...im in love with you,” he freezes, all the times you’ve said you loved him flashed in his mind. “i didn’t want to tell you because i was afriad you’d-”
“no.” he says, removing himself from your touch, “i can’t do this shit again.” he leaves the building, he wasn’t going to stay but you chased him out, into the street. “please!” he shouts to the sky, “please stop this, i can’t do this anymore!”
“tadashi, what are you talking about?” you ask, frowning as snow was up to your knees, making you freezing. “tada-” a sound of a car zooming, tadashi turns around, his eyes wide. no, he thinks, not again.
he acts without thinking, his body moving on his own as if he’s prepared for this. he push-tackles you on to the sidewalk, landing on top of you with a grunt, before sitting up and watching the car pass by.
“i...” he swallows thickly, “i saved you...” he says, a grin on his lips. “i saved you this time!” he’s shaking your shoulders whilst you’re trying to recollect your thoughts.
a voice, in the back of his, speaks: this time, you get your happy ending.
“i love you.” he says, “[y/n] [y/l/n], i love you and have been in love with you since i’ve ever met you.”
“wha...really?” you smile, laughing at his weird confession but being happy about it anyways.
“yes, god, yes.” he says, pressing a kiss to your lips, one which you enjoy thoroughly, but he pulls away at the taste of alcohol. “talk to me in the morning, do you understand? talk to me in the morning, and if you’re serious. i’m serious.”
“okay,” you say, eyes wide. he helps you up and takes you home, you were way too drunk to drive.
and the next morning, you go to him. “i’m sorry to have confessed when i was drunk, but i did mean what i said.” he can’t hold it anymore, he kisses you, god does he kiss you- it’s as if he’s kissed you a million times, despite this being your first kiss with tadashi, it was probably his millionth.
grabbing you by the waist he pulls you even closer to him, and when you pull away for air, he rests his forehead against yours, and you count his freckles in your hair and take notice of how his eyelashes land on his cheek.
something...something was stirring inside your head...a pounding and you let out a yelp of pain, grabbing your head tightly, wanting to cry from the pain when it suddenly stopped.
“[y/n]-” he says, “no, fuck, please don’t die! oh god, please don’t die!” he’s panicked, shit, did you have some sort of fatal brain injury that could kill you at any moment?
and then you looked up at him, your eyes filled to the brim with tears, hand over your mouth as you stare at him. “t...tadashi...” you whisper
“[y/n]...you’re not...you’re not dead?”
“I-” you jump forward and latch on to him, memories of a thousand lifetimes filling your head. oh god, you think, what is this? what’s happening!?
“i remember.” you whisper, “oh my god i remember everything. i- i’m so sorry tadashi! i promise i’ll never leave you again!”
“you...remember...” he can’t even process those words: you remember?
“i...” he is at a loss of words, before barries his head into the crook of your neck, damn it, he has to stop crying at work. “i thought i was going to lose you again,” he sobs.
“i know!” you cry, “i’m so sorry tadashi! i’m so sorry!”
your coworkers are like wtf is happening??
you pull away, looking him in his eyes, cup his cheek, run your thumb over his freckles cheek. “i’m going to marry you, tadashi.” you say, “we will have a beautiful house, and children, and- and- and we’re going to live for as long as we can, do you understand me? i’m not going anywhere ever again!”
and, like that, you two got a house, lives a beautiful life- and twenty years pass and one day you’re looking at tadashi and you notice something that makes you smile.
“you’re aging.” you say, “look at you, getting old.”
he lets out a sigh, a happy one.
its about time, he thinks.
