Fell From Fiction @fellfromfiction - Tumblr Blog

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frodo-sam

poirott

Would you mind if I have the little curly bit at the top?

everyday-deeds-deactivated20180

Every Agatha Christie’s Poirot case wrap-up, every time.

phil-the-thrill-quetzal

Greatest scene in television history

lrosely

all the different kinds of drunk people in 51 seconds

timelordinthetardis

Oh, brilliant.

incidentalcomics

New comic for @evernote! New Year’s Resolutions

For more comics to start the new year right, order my The Shape of Ideas book and calendar. They’re available internationally wherever books are sold!

clarabellecow

after all, there’s only one more sleep ‘til Christmas day

lifequotes-daily

Everybody said, “Follow your heart”. I did, it got broken.

Agatha Christie (via lifequotes-daily)

booksandhotchocolate

fictionalheroine

Saving Mr. Banks (2013)

nelliescoffee-deactivated201502

You think it’s cool to hate things. And it’s not. It’s boring. Talk about what you love and keep quiet about what you don’t.

Liberal Arts (via pessimisticccoffee)

prokopetz

I’ve seen a lot of videos going around of urban-dwelling critters coming to humans for help with various problems, ranging from boxes stuck on their heads to young trapped down a storm drain, and it’s gotten me to thinking:

On the one hand, it’s kind of fascinating that they know to do that.

On the other hand, setting any questions of how this sort of behaviour must have arisen aside for the nonce, does it ever strike you how weird it is that we’ve got a whole collection of prey species whose basic problem-solving script ends with the step “if all else fails, go bother one of the local apex predators and maybe they’ll fix the problem for no reason”?

roachpatrol

well, come to think of it, we’re at the top of the food chain but we almost exclusively hunt and kill prey out in the country.

raccoons and possums and foxes and crows all succeed in an urban environment because they’re opportunistic and observant. and almost none of them would have observed us pounce on one of their species and then start eating it, you know? a lot of them would have observed that we scream and chase them out of wherever we don’t want them to be, but other animals are territorial too. but there’s a number of situations where humans feed whoever’s bold enough to take them up on the offer, and we do tend to pull garbage off of other animals as soon as they slow down enough for us to catch. ‘a human got me but nothing bad happened’ is a much more frequent thing than ‘a human got me and tried to eat me’.

anyway like, we’re masters of our environment, we make weird shit happen all the time, we have lots of great food and sometimes we share, and we almost never eat someone. it makes sense for urban animals, over the last century or so, to just keep an eye out for opportunities to use us, and to pass the habit on to their kids.

tsfennec

It really is a weird, funny thing. Like yeah, technically they’re predators, and they get pretty screamy, especially if you try to take any of their stuff… but given the chance it seems like they’d rather help us out and sometimes they’ll just randomly give you food, so???

I mean, I guess in fairytales and myths we’ve got our fair share of stories about dangerous people/creatures who might well kill you or otherwise ruin your life, but to whom people nonetheless turn for help in desperate circumstances. So it’s not like the perspective is exactly a foreign thing to our own mindset, really… It’s just that, y’know, we can’t actually go make a deal with the faeries when there’s something we can’t figure out.

(Which brings me to an interesting thought about the ubiquitous rule about never eating the faery food lest you find yourself forever unsatisfied with anything in the human world - and the potential parallels to the dangers of feeding wildlife human food lest they become addicted and too tame and dependent to be safe for either themselves or us. Hmm.)

absurdistocchiolism

Okay, but that last bit with the Fae…makes almost perfect sense.

Of the stories I’ve read, the food of the Fae, its origins and effects, are often strange and/or obscure.- Just like our food to most animals.

The Fae are strange beings that seem to know weird things that give them power or an edge over us.- Just like us to animals.

The Fae work and live by strange rules also often nonsensical or obscure to us.- Just like us to animals.

The Fae can easily obtain vast amounts of things we consider rare/precious/desireable, and have no problem with dishing it out wantonly for no other reason than amusement.- Just like us to animals.

The Fae sometimes are amused by having us around, but only on their terms and IF it amuses/intrigues them.- Just like us to animals.

GUYS, I SENSE A PATTERN….

roachpatrol

-they have arcane social conventions and the punishment for not paying the correct respects right is banishment, if you’re lucky, and death if you’re not.

-they have wild and unexpected parties where you’d least expect to find them, but if you’re bold enough to entertain them they’ll feed you and caress you and play with you all night.

-time runs strangely in their realm. their homes are summerlands: warm and bright, no matter the season. there is always fruit on their tables. but not everyone who comes in from the cold is let back out again.

-their games are cruel and complex and unfair, but if you can beat them by their own rules you will access riches beyond imagining.

-sometimes they just fucking fuck with you, the fuckheads.

-they will absolutely steal your children away. when your children return— if they ever do— they will come back strange. they will have magic earrings or necklaces or bracelets. they will know things they shouldn’t. they won’t know things that they should. your strange children might survive, might even prosper, might take wives and husbands and have children of their own. but they will always be marked by their time away from your world.

-the price for pissing them off is always death. sometimes just you. sometimes your whole community.

-if you are very good, and very smart, and very brave, they will grant your wish.

teal-deer

- they aren’t quite immortal, maybe, but they live a long, long time. Whole generations might grow up in the shadow of one of their nests. When one dies, it is a great and sad event, and many come from miles around to cry.

sinesalvatorem

Humans are fae

This is so, so amazing

chxsing-ghxsts

Concept: it’s 3am. Candle lit room. A record is spinning. You’re kissing me. We have no worries in the world. We’re warm and content

fellfromfiction

Dexter has a complex over the fact that all his friends are getting married and moving in with their partners – but when aliens invade, it puts a lot of things into perspective.

Hey guys! So I’m still crowdfunding for my novel, The Third Wheel, and I’d love you to join in! Everyone who pledges gets their name in the back of the book, and maybe even a few more treats! Here’s what it’s about:

English teacher Dexter feels like he’s being taunted by the universe. Everywhere he turns he’s accosted by wedding invitations, housewarming parties and tables for two. Every last one of his friends is settling down with their other halves, while Dexter spends his evenings marking schoolbooks with his ginger cat for company. The thing is, he doesn’t even mind being single; he just wishes his friends were too.

After another wedding ends in a drunken disaster, Dexter is musing on the situation and wondering what he’s going to screw up next, when he gets the shocking reminder that he’s not the centre of the universe. An alien spaceship has landed on the continent and when first contact is made, it’s anything but friendly.

Humanity’s numbers dwindle immediately, and the survivors are left to do exactly that – survive. Dexter gathers his friends and they all set off on a mission across the country, each with the goal of preserving their own lives in this new world. But these aliens are two-headed, tenacious and have technology beyond anything seen on Earth, so saving the day looks more and more unlikely as they track down Dexter’s motley crew. In the end, perhaps it is the one thing Dexter dislikes most that will help him survive, if he can just stop thinking about himself for one minute.

Written to subvert any story that insists on including a romance subplot, as well as any science fiction story where untrained amateurs inexplicably have the right skills to save the day, The Third Wheel shines a light on those who are just trying to make it through to tomorrow in the face of overwhelming odds.

If you’d like to help a book be born and give me a hand along the way, then click the link above and pledge your support! It’s gratefully appreciated! Even if you just want to watch the stupid video of me, there’s always that, and I’d love if you could share this with people who may be interested and help spread the word!

Much love xx

2017

I keep seeing people on Twitter and Facebook talking about how wonderful this year was, and doing those “for each like, I’ll tell you one great thing that happened to me this year” memes. I thought about doing one, but I can’t.

OK, if I try, there were some good things that happened this year. I made a couple of new friends. My second book got picked up for crowdfunding and we’re 81% of the way to getting it published. I went to Edinburgh again, which is always a plus. I met some adorable dogs and cats, and a few times I got free cocktails.

But that’s all ephemera at the end of the day, isn’t it? This year has taken it’s toll on me and sucked out all the joy.

I lost my job in March and have been unable to find steady work since. The endless hours spent at home with no purpose have done incredible damage to my mental well-being and confidence. I’m broken, and lonely and so very, very tired. Applying for countless jobs on a weekly basis, only to never hear back, or to be told I’m over/under qualified for everything. Very rarely, a job interview that goes well, but then falling at the last hurdle. Always being “second”.

I lost some of my best friends, one of my oldest friends, who decided they didn’t need me in their lives anymore. It stings. It hurts so much. Again, taking second place. I know people grow up and move on, but it still hurts when it happens. Especially when it happens without warning. Communication is cut dead, one half unwilling to continue, the other unsure if they can.

And then there’s the state of the world in general. I try and remain positive, but how can you in the wake of potential nuclear war, a fucking madman in the most powerful position in the world, Britain all-but-committing suicide by deciding to go ahead with leaving the EU, rising temperatures and tides, learning day after day that everyone in the public eye is either dead or disgusting. Every day there’s another smug politician’s face on a screen somewhere, destroying our futures and the futures particularly of those who never got a fair start in life.

2017 was farcical in its treatment of us. Nazis are back, for fuck’s sake. So many terrorist attacks in Britain, mass shootings in America, refugees from all over the world trying to save themselves, and those with the money and the power to do so turning a blind eye, passing laws that say, “No, you’re not worth it.” Grenfell Tower. Grenfell fucking Tower. The most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever seen, and our Prime Minister refusing to face the consequences, or the people that her government have failed. What’s left of the tower still stands. I’ve seen it. My heart drops whenever I do. It’s the tombstone that will mark this year.

And worst of all, Victoria Wood is still dead. So much of my joy and passion for the world died alongside her. I hadn’t realised. I will never be over that.

So here’s the thing.

Fuck off 2017 - fuck the fuck off. I hate you. I hate you possibly even more than I hated 2016.

I have no intention of staying up to see in 2018, because while that may turn out to be a better year, if I can slip out of this one a few hours early, I’m taking the opportunity. There are glimmers of something good happening in 2018, but it’s going to take all my strength to not give up on them.

Fuck this year. Just fuck everything.

#personal