[ironpour]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[possessive-suggestions]

…They did what… to you? No. I will make them pay. You’re fucking mine. And nobody, nobody, lays a goddamn finger on you.

[smokeythebearthemovie]

me when im working in the grocery store and i see someone “sampling” the grapes

[possessive-suggestions]

You listen to me, and you listen good. I’m sick and fucking tired of you trying to get in between me and what’s rightfully mine. If you so much as fucking look in my direction again, I’ll gouge your eyes out and force feed them to you. Do you understand me?

[thyrell]

me when the cashier at whole foods tells me to stop sampling the grapes

[thebootydiaries]

application: so what makes you interested in working at our company?

me: please

[depsidase]

[silenthill]

Oh this made me laugh

[jdandchi]

NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT A GOD DAMN RELATIONSHIP AND LOSING WEIGHT AND BEING BEAUTIFUL FOR GODS SAKE GO OUTSIDE AND ROB A STORE AND FEEL ALIVE AS YOU RUN AWAY FROM SECURITY

[tinyghosthands]

Poems written by elementary school students to greet fliers at Miami International Airport

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via Li4mricee)

[setheverman]

STOP TELLING ME I LOOK LIKE THIS DOG

[deplcythebattery]

[kaimaidog]

One time I kissed my girlfriend while we were out and a little girl looked at us with such amazement like

“That’s an option?!?!”

[writersshock-deactivated]

I’m writing my novel in fifth person, so every sentence starts with “I heard from this guy who told somebody...”

[autumngracy]

[stability]

[veryfunnymemes]

[perfecthorse]

[hyolights-deactivated20151008]

when you 70 weeks down a persons instagram and trying to avoid the like button

[hplyrikz]

“Learn to be alone and to like it. There’s nothing more freeing and empowering than learning to like your own company.”

— Mandy Hale (via hplyrikz)