Financial control and domination in a relationship can be so hot and a great way to humiliate and degrade, but it's also very grounding and bonding in a special way because of how money impacts our lives. I love being entrusted with such an intimate level of control over someone, it's very empowering and makes me feel very accomplished to financially dominate them, especially when I do a good job of balancing saving and still finding ways to have fun.
There's so many ways to love, degrade, and pleasure someone through financial control, where do I even begin? What is it about financial control I love? It's this.
It's the degradation of working a full time job and not touching that money without someone else's permission.
It's the reassurance of you needing to have permission to make a purchase. It's the finality of being told yes or no by them and you trusting their decision and financial instincts.
It's the love and dedication of them entrusting you with making a specific purchase for your dom because they know they have trouble controlling themselves or have trauma around that specific purchase and you making them proud by handling it responsibly.
It's the sensation of you knowing your partner will go through all of the financial statements every week to keep both you and them responsibly within budget.
It's them handing you a coloring book and pointing at the floor beside them where you'll lay down and color while they crunch the numbers to figure out how close the two of you are to that big purchase you're both saving up for.
It's them speaking up respectfully to a server when the restaurant prepares your food with an allergic ingredient on your birthday and getting your meal comped even though you're sad and don't want to talk about it.
It's the exhilaration of dancing to your favorite music in front of them in nothing but a g-string as they rain money down on you and stuff it in your underwear. It's the humility of being made to pick it all up and return all of the money every time so you both can do it again next time. It's them surprising you with a stripper pole and pole-dancing classes bought with all the money you earned dancing for them in your bedroom.
It's the infantilization of you being given an allowance by a partner.
It's the humiliation of giving an hour long blowjob after begging for a higher allowance and only getting an extra dollar for your efforts.
It's them handling the return process for you because you're disappointed and embarrassed with what you bought and they have your back.
It's you waking up to money taped to your forehead with a note that says "Thank you for last night. <3" You don't remember last night but you do feel it trickling out of you.
It's them handing you monopoly money for your allowance because you're too little for real money and if you want something you pay them monopoly money for it, write a receipt in colored pencil, and they will go and get it for you.
It's them coming up from behind and pulling your bottoms down by surprise, fucking you, and cumming in your ass before pulling your pants back up and you finding a dollar bill stuck in the back of the waistband of your jeans an hour after, realizing they put it there when they pulled up your pants.
It's the degradation of being asked "what will you do for it?" and doing something you normally wouldn't do in order to get permission to purchase something you really, really want.
It's receiving a venmo notification randomly on your phone for a small amount of money with the note "good behavior."
It's them telling you ahead of time that you always have their permission to go and see your favorite artist in concert because they know how much that artist means to you. It's them telling you that they bought a shirt to go with your concert outfit so you both match.
It's the magic surprise of you being allowed to spend money on something they normally don't permit.
It's the devotional love you express when you use your own allowance to surprise your dom.
It's the devotional love they express when they give you gifts, or extra allowance, or reimburse you for surprising them.
It's the unconditional love and peace of mind you receive when they encourage you to go back to school and they figure out how they'll pay for it.
It's the security of knowing you won't overspend because you can't. Of knowing you'll always have emergency funds available to you. Of knowing you have money tucked away for the important expensive things in your life like kids, a home, an education, and even your wedding.
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Let me epilogue this by saying I know financial domination is not everyone's cup of tea. Non-consensual financial control is, unfortunately, common in abusive relationships and I've had friends who've had their life savings plundered and lives devastated because of it. This post is not promoting or glorifying financial abuse.
I normally don't add addendums like this to my posts but I don't take financial abuse lightly and I've seen its consequences up close. If you are experiencing it please reach out to friends and family and just tell them your thoughts. Start a conversation. Because capitalism runs the world right now, financial abuse is something that is extremely difficult to face alone. If you think you or someone you care about is experiencing financial abuse, check out this free resource for assistance on diagnosing it, steps to take to mitigate the damage, and how to get help.
All of this is why I want to be very clear upfront this post is not to downplay or minimize the effects and impact of that, but rather, this post is a celebration of the doms and subs who both consent to and want to have financial domination/submission in their lives because it makes them happy and fulfilled, who then use that control/lack of as a form of expressing their love and kinks for each other.
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