Talking to much in North West Connecticut.
I’ve learned that I’m a person that talks, A Lot, believe me I know, I’ve literally been told this since I was able to comprehend. Third grade was the first time that this happened, my parents went in for a teacher conference and my teacher said to them, “She has so much potential and is so smart, unfortunately she’s quite the social butterfly, and seems to take everyone off task”. My parents and myself would continue to hear this for about the next 9 years of my school life.
I never viewed this as an issue, or a downside, at least not until my current state of adulthood. I like to read; articles, books, short stories, and I love to share them. I’ve lived all over the country and outside of it, and got to experience a lot of things some kids my age didn’t (did you have your senior prom in a castle? Maybe, but most likely only if you went to high school in Germany…) and I love sharing them. Though I’ve always been a talker, until I was 27 I had no idea why this was an issue to a lot of people.
At the age of 27, my husband and I had a crazy thought that we would move back to his hometown in Millerton, NY. We were determined to move there bringing our Denver-Style city person mentality (which is VERY different from NYC’ers) to a small town of just under 1,000 people and take it by storm. We were going to move there, get started with great jobs and start planning our amazing small town bakery/cafe, after leaving our Cupcake truck business in Colorado Springs. We were so very, very wrong. We learned so much about life and ourselves in those 18 months we lived there, which is why we’re happy we did it.
One of first things I learned about the Tri-state area of NY, CT, and MA, is that they all really, really, REALLY hate talking. Upon arriving to the North East, my husband was able to lock us down some great jobs, at a gourmet deli and prepared foods section of a small town farmers market. We would be working for his old boss that he worked with when he was 16. They had great plans for expanding from the “deli” style to a cafe, My husband was hired to work in the kitchen, and I was hired to head up their scratch baking department of the bakery. Sounds wonderful doesn’t it? Well unfortunately I spent a year scooping food into containers for the socialites of Connecticut, and slicing their lunch meat, for 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. There was always an inkling of hope that I might get to bake a cake or cupcakes, pies, once or twice a month. After 7 months of working there, my boss decided to do reviews. My whole review was, yet again, about how, I talk too much, I’m not fast enough, I don’t have enough stamina, Mind you I’m 27 and being told this by two women in their 50’s. I wish I could work 4 hours a day make a living off of it and then tell a 27 year old that my stamina is better, I can only hope I’m as awesome as Wendy* and Bee* when I “grow up”. HA. Good one. (*names have been kinda changed to kinda not completely out my bosses at Sham Food Shop in Sharon, CT). Here I am yet again in my life hearing about how I talk too much and take others of task. This immediately caused my blood to boil, but something I’ve learned throughout my 20’s; If someone is borderline insulting you, or your feeling that way, Don’t get defensive, which is natural; look them in the eye with your best “Fuck You Smile” and say, “You’re right, I’ll work on that”. I could have gotten defensive and bit back, but then it wouldn’t have solved anything, and I look like a dick making excuses.
Being a person that talks a lot I’ve learned; sometimes it’s just easier to say yes or no; no excuse, no defense, no explanation. After learning this in CT, I became a very quiet and internal person. I felt I was such an annoyance to everyone every time I opened my mouth that it was just easier not to. It started to cause issues with my home life and relationships, I was so far past miserable because I couldn’t talk, and when I did, all I could do was complain about work, since I couldn’t talk there.
After a few more months of quiet self loathing, and just making the best of a situation that I helped facilitate but was no longer happy with. A local bakery was hiring for a barista and baker, and willing to train. Done. I took that job, walked in, got hired on the spot and saluted Sham food shop, and took off. I was hopeful for a “grass is greener” on the otherside type situation, but not so much. It was more like a the grass brown on this side, and that side is a post-apocalyptic wasteland but it might be okay, right? Life lessons.
Salisbury, CT is a pretty interesting place. You might have heard of it because Lena Dunham and her sister used to spend their summers in this small private school town; or because it’s often mentioned on Gilmore Girls; or maybe a city person who weekends there; other than that I bet you’ve never heard of this place nor could you locate it on a map with out help.
I learned working at Schmeet Billiam’s Fakery*(*names have been kinda changed to kinda not completely out my old bosses in Salisbury, CT), that my “introverted-i-hate-the-world-and-people” bosses, hate talking more than anything; shockingly even to their customers. WTF? Right what kind of person opens a food establishment and refuses to greet or address 90%(someone who wants to complain about dropping profits, that’s who…) of the people who walk through that door? After finally setting in to my job at the bakery, which in the beginning, I did really really enjoy, and I will never ever forget the what I learned there; my boss, again, Made a comment about how I talk too much. I believe the quote was along the lines of, “Wow, I’m constantly amazed about the speed an amount of words that come out of your mouth on a daily basis.” Fuck me. No, Fuck you. After that, I didn’t speak, hardly at all anymore, unless spoken too. I would spend a literal 6-7 hours a day working with my boss and his partner (I was the only full time employee) in complete and utter silence. It was horrible. Time went by so slow, as three adults stand awkwardly in a tiny bakery, rolling, steaming, baking, in complete silence. I’ve had my fair share of shit happen to me in my life, and dealt with a lot; but these two jobs were probably my worst jobs I’ve ever had; purely due to having inexperienced business owners, who always thought that they were right; and refused to accept help, information, or solutions. If it didn’t come from the owner, it’s not a good idea.
At this juncture in my life I’ve learned there is a time and a place, and not always do people want to hear everything you have to say. I’m okay with that, I’ve now gotten to the point where I only share certain details of my life if asked or when I’m with friends. I learned in the NWCT area people are (and unfortunately this is limited to 18 months and living in a rural area, where I didn’t have the best experience with the “locals”) very different from Coloradans. I’m not naive in the sense that I do realize there assholes and shitheads everywhere. I’m sure someone has moved to Colorado and been like “wow, this place sucks and people are way too nice!” (just kidding), but I will never live anywhere ever again where the majority of the town and surrounding towns, will make you feel like you are nothing, just because you are different.
baratheonpilled
blakekathryn
pixelskylines
tangentwithtanner
jacobvanloon
origamiaround
dailybridgerton