I miss my home.

Sideblog for dysphoria and vent stuff. my main blog is @feral-animal

[feral-therian]

This dumb body doesn't twist and lay the way I want it to.

I cant howl.

I cant curl into a ball.

I cant run around with my wolf pack.

Sometimes when I fall asleep I swear that when I wake up ill be in the forest, ill get woken up by my pack mates nudging me.

Ill run around and ill howl and be free.

But down inside of me I know ill never ever be a wolf ill always be a lousy human.

[feral-therian]

Hiding my identity.

I dont feel like me. I never have.

Im embarrassed and scared to say who I really am and I bury it down. I dont even label myself as it anymore.

Technically id be trans (ftm) but I've never had support and im scared to talk about it. Im terrified ill get made fun of because I look so much like a female with my chubby body and female parts.

I cried myself to sleep last night from the gender dysphoria. I can only ignore it for so long before it hurts too bad.

I've had dysphoria and have technically been trans since I was very young (around 10) but I've never seen true support and my looks make me less hopeful.

I feel even worse like im faking since being female doesn't extremely bother me day to day. Yes I hate my tits alot but oh well. Gotta live with it. Most of the time I just ignore my trans feelings in whole.

I have a trans (ftm) friend but im scared they'll think im mocking them for being trans aswell even with me being trans before they were.

I cant keep hiding myself like this but-

how do I put myself out there when I look so opposite of what I wanna be?

[feral-therian]

I'll run away and never come back.

I'll run as far into the forest as I can.

I'll disappear from humanity.

No such thing as rules and laws.

No presidents or bosses.

No homophobia or racism.

I'll be the animal I always knew I was.

[feral-therian]

My heart aches for somewhere i know no of.

My heart yearns for a place I've never seen.

What is this place i miss?

Where is this feeling attatched to?

I can't put the peices together.

I'll suffer time after time but never unveil.

I am blind to what these feelings need.

But I know it was once home to me.

[feral-therian]

You wakeup to realize its all a dream.

Your whole human life was just one long wolf nap.

Years of species dysphoria and hatred towards your human body just for it to not be real.

The joy you feel is unimaginable.

You stretch your limbs and back and run off into the forest to find your pack that you've missed so dearly.