Hiya! Iâm Ash (they/them). This blog used to be a dump for all random things I couldnât post elsewhere, and it still kinda is when Iâm not completely obsessed over a certain type of media-
Currently watching: Arcane / The Hollow
Fandoms/Communities
DnD | 5th edition, Player since â20 and DM since â21
Ninjago | fan from the start though I fell off during S2 and only discovered it again thanks to a certain someone, now with developed taste (Cole my beloved)
Harvest Moon | mainly MM and AWL (the OG if I may be pedantic)
Animal Crossing | fan since NL, also played CF/NH/P:G
Legend of Zelda | pretty casual fan since childhood, in love with botw/totk
Platforms outside of tumblr
AO3 | Instagram (kinda a dead page tbh)
Other Tumblr blog
totallyuseless-ugh | a blog dedicated to my two main OCs, also contains some old content regarding the university from ymmwtfb
Tags
#ymmwtfb | any content related to my fic You Make Me Want to Feel Blue
#ninjago moon | content related to an old crossover au of mine for ninjago and HM:AWL
#dms den | content regarding the campaigns I dm
#gremlin answers | replies to the asks I receive
#gremlin author updates | any posts regarding story updates for ao3
#gremlin doodles | general art tag
#snotdb | something I carried over from my other blog, âsticky notes on the dashboardâ, basically any ideas I have for characters/AUs that arenât long enough to warrant a full post
I was already gonna spam this blog with jay and cole making out sloppy style after bruiseweek, but I do find it funny it just so happens to be pride month.
Either way, we're gonna be unapologetically gay over here. Yall wanted more suggestive bruise and I took that personally
Happy upload day! Chapter 14 is now out for you all to enjoy!
I have decided to go through the effort of putting me and my beta reader through the depths of html to make reading it a little easier, since there are a few exchanges happening in French. I hope it works for you all, it just requires you to have the work skin active.
On another note, this fic is on its way to reaching 100 kudos, and I was thinking of running a small dtiys event to celebrate, when the time has come. Would be great to hear some feedback, whether interest for such a thing is there.
This takes place in ymmwtfb, sometime between chapters 11 and 12
* * * * *
The numbers on the display above him counted upwards just a bit too slowly for auburnâs liking. Not that he was in a hurry, but Jay wanted to not be the last person appearing for a session at least once in his lifetime. A gentle chime sounded from the speakers and the elevator came to a halt. â4th floor.â
He gave the doors a second to open themselves before him, that was about as much patience as he could spare. Then Jay lunged out of the confined space and took the direct path to his dorm. He swung the door open, tossed his bag in the vague direction of his desk and groaned. âFinally free!â
Cole chuckled and turned around in his chair, his assignment quickly forgotten about with his boyfriend now finally back. âWas it that bad? I thought you liked Borgâs lectures.â
âYeah, I do,â Jay answered. He stood in place for a bit longer, taking off the layers that had now become redundant until he was left with only jeans and the blue football jersey. Jay was right, blue really was his color. There was no better explanation as to why he always looked so good wearing the only non-black shirt Cole owned. And the fact that auburn then had Coleâs last name written in white letters on his back made it even harder not to swoon over him.
Finally freed from the now obsolete extra layers of clothes, Jay began to pace the room once more. âBut you can only take so much input in a day. No matter how he tried to spin and twist it, this lecture was just so damn dry.â
Cole folded his arm atop the back rest of his chair to rest his head. It was hard to believe how lucky he had gotten with Jay. He would almost be stupid enough to think that all the lows heâs been through had actually been worth it.
âWhat was it even about?â Cole couldnât help but ask, despite knowing he wouldnât understand a word of it.
âThatâs the thing, I canât remember myself! It was dragging on for so long, by the time he got to the point, I realized I hadnât made a single note yet.â Jay picked up his other bag to set it on his desk and dug through it. âAnyway, Iâd like to think about anything else right now. Iâll just ask Nya for her notes at some point, but Iâm not gonna let this ruin my mood before DnD!â
Cole took this as his cue to take out his phone and set a reminder. Jay was bound to forget about this, and Cole didnât trust himself enough to keep it in his mind either. It was as if auburnâs forgetfulness was a sirenâs song infecting him, tempting him into forgetting everything not written down as well.
In the meantime, Jay made sure all of his things were exactly where he needed them. Dice and character sheets were left untouched from last time. But his notebook had made its way over to his nightstand alongside his pen and pencil designated for this hobby.
He left the desk to quickly pace to the other end of the room, fetching the missing items and returning them to their rightful place. One more glance through the bag to confirm nothing was gone still, just to be extra sure.
Jayâs eyes strayed from his task for a moment, wandering over to Cole instead. Raven was yet to get out of his chair. Auburn frowned as he put his bag aside for a moment. âDid you.. not want to come for DnD tonight?â
The call-out had Cole twitch ever so slightly. But he didnât shake his head or jump up to get ready. He just stayed sat, the expression on his face darkening.
âIâm not sure whether I even shouldâŠâ
âWhat do you mean?â Jay approached Cole until they were about an armâs length apart.
Cole turned his head away, avoiding the otherâs gaze. The words laid heavy on his tongue, wanting to come out and yet making it so much harder to speak them. âI feel.. like the others might not want to see me anymore. After I was such an ass to them, especially to Nya? I could totally understand if they didnât want to see me anymore.â
He couldnât read what was going on with Jayâs face. It was something upset, thatâs what Cole could tell. But was it anger? Sadness? Disappointment? Not that he actually believed any of these to be true, just that Jayâs features somehow reflected something akin to all of these expressions.
âYou know theyâre your friends too, right?â Jay had finally closed the gap between them. He put a hand on Coleâs arm and lightly caressed it with his thumb. âIâm sure theyâd be happy to see you again. They know youâre doing better now, but actually seeing you would mean a lot to them.â
Still, Cole rather looked at the old carpet and the lazily decorated wall. âI donât understand how they would want to be my friends after this.â
He could feel Jayâs fingers twitch once against his arm. But they didnât let go.
Auburn closed his eyes for a moment, taking a slow breath as he sorted his thoughts by what was popping in and what he actually wanted to say. He then crouched down to be on eye level with Cole. Though there was no expectation of eye contact, Jay knew exactly how hard that could be at times.
His other hand moved close to Coleâs face and gently cradled it after hearing a low hum of approval from raven.
âCole,â his voice stayed soft and loving, âI know them all just as long as you do. And if there is one thing I can say with confidence about them, itâs that they love you. Yes, they obviously donât to the extend that I love you, but they still do. Everyone misses you dearly. As Murvlag, as Cole, as the wonderful guy that looks out for his friends and puts a smile on their faces.â
Raven stayed silent for a moment longer, wondering whether Jay could feel his heartbeat rising. The words still echoed in his head, bouncing around and making him feel all kinds of things.
He stirred after a while. His head turned carefully to finally meet his boyfriendâs warm blue eyes. They were so pure, leaving no doubt, no space for Cole to even entertain the idea that he had been told a lie to console him.
How long had it been since he last heard these words at all? And now from Jay? It was almost too good to be true. â.. can you say that again?..â
Jayâs eyebrows twitched, but he stopped himself before they could turn into a confused frown. âOur friends love you?â
âNo, the thing after that.â
âWhat do youâŠâ Then it hit him. His face dropped, but not entirely out of shock, and definitely not out of regret. âWe never said that to each other until now, did we?â
Cole shook his head. âI mean, I get it. Not that we were exactly in the headspace for that before. But. It feels good to actually hear it from you now.â
Jay carefully removed himself from Cole to get up. He opened his arms wide, inviting the other in for a hug. Raven got up from his chair to take auburn up on that offer. He stood tall before his roommate, Coleâs overall appearance giving plenty of reason to feel intimidated by. And yet he felt so small and fragile when he slouched downwards and joined the loving embrace.
There was a faint tremble Jay picked up on. Every breath that Cole took had his body shivering and adding to the new image of the now weak man. Jay made sure to hold the other tightly in his arms, to give him the security that Cole clearly seemed to need in that moment.
âI love you, Cole.â He repeated himself.
It was barely audible but auburn still managed to hear ravenâs quiet answer, âI love you too.â
This whole time, ever since falling for his roommate, Jay had imagined this moment to be so much more grandiose. Dramatic, a loud declaration of love for all the world to hear, because that was how big his feelings were for Cole. He had wanted to shout it from their window out onto campus, despite how shy he had been about his crush.
And now he stood there, holding that same man in his arms. This surely was no revelation to either of them, and that was not even the point. They of course knew what feelings they shared for each other. From the moment on that they had settled the fight between them and understood that all that trouble had been just a huge misunderstanding. But weeks had passed since then. Weeks of silent affection. This was an obvious next step for them to take, and it was so soft. It was a perfect reflection of who they were for each other.
He didnât want to have it any other way.
For a moment, Jay opened his eyes again. They jumped around the half of the room he could look at, absentminded while he bathed in the comfort of holding his boyfriend. But he got distracted for a moment. The clock on Coleâs nightstand was shining at them as bright as ever, telling Jay they had been talking and standing there for almost an hour already. They definitely were running late for the session now.
His gaze returned to the slowly rising and falling shoulders he could see before him. How they still hadnât shaken off the uneven breathing pattern. He could feel the arms that would normally be so strong, now struggling to tighten their hold around Jayâs waist.
Jay closed his eyes again and nuzzled into the nape of Coleâs neck.
The others could survive just one more hour without Cole.
So, something possessed me to actually finish some of my kink bruise redraws today? Uhm, enjoy! (Boxers version, original design and bonus Cole under the cut)
Pick your out of context poison. Despite all these being bruisefics, I managed to have a snippet featuring every original ninja+wu
1.
âBleh. Ok,â Jay said, wiping his mouth from fur. âCats don't react that way. You still have human sentience, or atleast whatever intelligence you had to begin with.â
âWell isnât that rich coming from you,â Cole retorted, except all that came out of his mouth was a meow.
Cole and Jay blinked at each other in surprise.
âNo way,â Jay intoned. His face lit up in a grin. âThat was. So cute.â
Cole groaned as Jay delved into a fit of laughter, one that held a little less hysteria and a bit more mirth. Note to self, don't ever speak again. He didn't think he could take the patronization or the ammunition he was handing over on a silver platter.
2.
âHa! Thatâs what Iâm talking about, baby!â
âGreat job! It only took 27 deaths and one controller later,â Zane stated.
âThe battery just fell out! It still works!â Jay protested while waving the controller as if to prove his point. âAnd we are not counting Cole sabotaging me, that was totally foul play. 26 deaths.â
âHow does the saying go?â Zane pondered. âAllâs fair in love and war?â
âOh shut up. That doesn't make you less evil.â
Zane shrugged. âYou said you wanted a challenge. 27.â
âI didn't take you for a cheater. 26.â Jay glared, jabbing a finger in his direction. âAnd proof that you are a troll.â
Jay held out the controller to Cole, while Zane mouthed 27 behind his back. âHere, youâll see what I mean. You didnât see the whole level, and I want to watch you struggle.â
3.
âIs this Jay proposing or Cole?â Nya critiqued.
âAlright fine, Master of Romance," Kai snarked, "how would you suggest Jay do it?â
âNot like that,â Nya snorted, snatching the medallion and handing it back to Jay. âYouâre over complicating it, Jay. Coleâs a simple guy, you really donât need to do anything fancy for him.â
âBut thatâs exactly WHY I should do something fancy for him,â Jay groaned. âBecause he deserves something nice for once!â
4.
âNo,â he squeaked. âNo no no no please. I never left you, so donât you dare leave me!â
BONUS
[s7 rewrite from my crossover longfic]
âWhy did you do it?â Lloyd whispered, scowling at the bedside table. âWe couldâve helped you."
âThere are some fights one must face alone,â Wu gently explained.
Lloydâs gaze finally snapped to his uncle.
âLike Cole?â he retorted. âHe thought that too, and look what happened to him. Look what almost happened to you! If we didnât arrive when we didâŠâ
He trailed off and shut his eyes against the tears that threatened to fall.
âYou should know this!â Lloyd hissed.
i hope you know every day since that fated bruise post i made i've been checking your profile like every 4-5 hours or so because i'm starved over here :(
@centipede-death
Thatâs very understandable ngl.
Thing is, the stuff I got is either still in too rough of a state for me to post, so so many layers deep with context that it wouldnât make sense to post (yet), or itâs just straight up kink.
And tbh, I donât know how eager my bubble is rn for shibari and dom/sub posts here on tumblr while Iâm writing âCole is going through the wringer againâ on ao3
Like I know Iâd feels awkward to write but when Iâm reading a fic I donât notice if an author is using the characters names too many times too close together. Thatâs their name! on the other hand if I ever have to read âthe blondâ Iâm closing the tab. The only time itâs ever acceptable to use epithets like that is when the characters donât know each others names yet
Hiya! Donât worry, I know the title is daunting, but itâs not that bad, just trust me on this one
First off, chapter 13 is now online! Go read and enjoy!
Moving on, Iâm making progress on the upcoming chapters as planned, so far so good. However, as the creative process goes, my writing started to.. derail a little. But it was going in a direction I liked and wanted to explore further. What do I mean by this? Simple.
The things Cole is about to live through are much harsher than originally intended
Thatâs where Iâm coming in with my (repeated) warning for you, dear readers.
For the love of all thatâs holy to you, check the tags, age rating and archive warning after every update before you read
Iâm not saying this to be edgy. Things will suck, things will be uncomfortable. So to avoid triggering yourself, please please please make sure whether this story is still suited for you