whelp looks like i won't be able to play The Veilguard on release day even though I didn't schedule for work the entire weekend 🤡🤡
I'll have to buy a desktop computer and don't see myself having the time to do so before next Thursday, and even if I did I don't think I would have the peace to play
oh well, guess now I have an even beter reason to stay off the internet until...perhaps even the end of the year :-I
playing as a tabris warden and especially playing as a fem tabris warden is just a constant over and over gut punch. you're getting married but then you, your cousin, and several other women from your alienage are kidnapped during your wedding by the arl's son. you slaughter your way out of it to save your cousin and the other women, but there isn't a victory in it— you know there will be retribution for killing a palace full of guards and several nobles even though you were defending yourself and your kin. you're forced to leave your home and join the grey wardens without being given even a single night to recover. you know there will be a purge. you don't know if you'll ever see your family again.
you're taken to ostagar where you are the only woman amongst the grey wardens, and not only that, you are the only elf among them. you remember nessa, the girl in your alienage who was afraid of leaving because she feared what the soldiers would do to her after going so long without seeing a woman. your status as an elf and a woman are constantly remarked upon. you have no choice but to stay. you are fed darkspawn blood by duncan; the blood kills one man while he slaughters the other in front of you. you are supposed to feel grateful to have survived this.
and even later when you seek help from the dalish, what do you learn from zathrian? the same injustices that were inflicted upon you have been repeated over and over for centuries. what do you learn when you seek help from the mages? templars lurk in every corner, always watching, driving mages to the same violence you yourself committed. what do you learn in orzammar? to be a castless woman is to be not considered a person, who's only worth is the children she can bear for the same nobles who keep the castless subjugated. to be chosen by a noble is supposed to be an honor. why does this feel familiar?
AND THEN. what do you learn from the deep roads? darkspawn in all of their corruption are no different; you learn of the broodmothers. it is the same everywhere, no matter where you look. nothing changes. even your other party members, leliana and zevran, have their own stories. and you don't have another choice but to keep pushing on.
ngl pre-ordering The Veilguard back on the second of October/02-10 has really helped my excitement, despite how much I liked the trailers, at first I was feeling I'd maybe wait until a sale, and especially after the choice reveal thing I was feeling lukewarm (maybe also bc there isn't really any companion yet who has really grabbed my attention) but now seeing how well the game is doing when it comes to pre-orders I'm really excited to get to play it day one with so many others <3
I don't think I have ever actually played any game on release? Closest would be playing on the day of an SWTOR or Genshin update, but never a release day...exciting stuff ^-^
Something something the reason Varric struggles to see the inquisitior as a person (repeatedly calling them a symbol and expressing how it's hard to remember that they're not at both the end of the wicked grace scene and in one of his own one on one scenes) is actually not about The Inquisitor or What They Are To The People or The Singing at all.
But it is an internalised coping method for himself so that he doesn't get super attached and burnt just like he did with the da2 gang. I mean. Look no further to how Sera calls him out on this one.
Like it's kinda crazy the roles Varric fulfills in DAI all the way to WARNING LOVE INTERESTS THE INQUISITOR IS A BAD IDEA just like Wynne does in dao. He's literally so damaged and the ghosts of Kirkwall follow him everywhere and he's SO aware of what it means to follow a hero and let yourself care about them and their friends.
RIVAIN
— An ancient Grey Warden fortress sits among sparkling waters and lush greenery of the Rivain Coast; the Lords of Fortune call this paradise home. The servants of the gods have their own plans, however, and threaten to turn this sanctuary into a battlefield.
Dragon Age: The Veilguard (2024)
Journal #8 | Exploration Across Thedas
also PSA, this was basically me the last 1.5 years, just going around in circles
will be taking a short break from tumblr, some personal thoughts below ^-^
i'm making some changes though; moved (though still unpacking and sleeping on the couch) back in with my mom and bro, got a job for the weekends as a waitress at the same cafe my bro works at (there will be a trial period of a month, but I have good hopes since I already helped clean up after an event yesterday night, and while I was exhausted I also just really need the money), I'm going to university 4 days a week to study (and also to not have to be around my fam and in the small flat too much)
...and I'll be taking a break from tumblr (and social media in general, but tumblr is really the only platform I'm dedicated to, reddit and insta is just doomscrolling)
I'm mainly writing this post as a reminder to myself to allow me some distance, since I have made my tumblr experience quite a bit of a burden through the many different themed accounts, side blogs, and other commitments like things I wanted to track... but I'll be quite busy the next few months, and I think it will actually be good for myself to keep me busy with studying and working and spending less time with myseld and my thoughts.
I really want to re-commit to my studies, and also deal with my doomscrolling, which I think will be most effective if I just cut down on internet time in general
I want to keep believing there's good in the future for me, even after an increased decline in my mental health over the last +/- 16 months, especially after having received news less than 2 weeks ago that yet again the waittime for my clinical assessment has been moved
I have an idea for the future for myself, the main elements being having my own place and having financial safety, and I want to believe it's possible to achieve that peace <3
I'm finally taking concrete steps again towards this future, towards peace and safety
i wonder how the inquisition scouts feel about me, cassandra, varric and solas chasing a burning ram right through one of the camps. not our most graceful hour
[ID: Fanart of Varric from Dragon Age Inquisition sitting sullenly on a tree stump in only shorts and his jacket around his shoulders. There is a sign that says swimming hole next to him. All of his skin showing is pale except for the area exposed by the deep v of his normal shirt. He’s crossing his arms and terribly unhappy to be there. End ID]
absolutely deranged about the level of details being put into neve's design: the snowflakes in her net, the serpent's scales, serpent hat design, cunty serpent belt and rooster's feathers on the sides of her shoulders...
update: her earring :)
in the vimmark mountains @fereldanbroth - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag