Knight of the Woeful Countenance

Sticks and Stones will break my bones and kill me.

[makingimages]

[snototters-deactivated20210129]

[crisismoth]

sometimes i be saying im gonna go to bed and then i dont go to bed. frequently in fact. this is because i have the heart of an optimist and the soul of a liar

[akashicrecord]

human pregnancy is so wild to me. like, you can just create another consciousness. and you can do it accidentally in the Cheesecake Factory parking lot

[lorddoom01]

Saw someone mention the new Boston Dynamics' robot was introduced like a Souls boss. Was not expecting it to come out so creepy.

[creepymutelilbugger]

what the fuck somebody edit a health bar over this im at work

[proteinmom]

[proteinmom]

oh my god you said heaLth bar..

[aspergrl]

GIRL

[lifeisablackhole9]

you fuckers thought i forgot about elf practice didn’t you?

[gallusrostromegalus]

Please enjoy these insults:

Among many other Talents, my family is good at insults.  Please enjoy:

”We promise to return Cousin Scott in as many pieces as we receive him.” “…Pieces, Plural?” “Scott, his artifical leg, and the wee peanut rattling around his skull that he uses for a brain.”

“You’re going to make some some future paleontologist very famous when they discover your solid-bone skull.”

“Professor Ingram has left for the University of Lousiana’s Psych department, thereby raising the average IQ of both departments.”

“Can you believe someone started a rumor that I slept my way to the top?” “No way.  You’re nowhere near to the top.”

“You are my sister and I love you but I’m pretty sure if I were to shout directly into your ear canal you’d echo.”

“Some things ferment and improve with age- Wine and Cheese for instance. You’ve just decomposed.”

“Dense doesn’t begin to cover it.  People who get close to him get trapped in his Event Horizon.”

“Some people have a devil on thier shoulder that whispers temptations to them.  Yours is bellowing that that was over the line.”

“I won’t deny that you have hidden depths, but they’re less like the potentially levithan-filled ocean and more like the secret compartment in the dryer where the socks get lost.”

“I can’t come to your birthday Nina.  I’ve scheduled a root canal that day specifically so I wouldn’t have to.”

“She describes her ancestry and it sounds like a fancy cheese platter but in person she’s velveeta.”

“Your inner machinations are a rotating pie display.”

[blanketforcas]

whatever i was gonna say can't possibly be funnier than the mere existence of this draft

[feluka]

imagine if i did my work. if i sat down and Did it. and it was Done. can you even imagine such a thing

[fawken]

Pearl playing bass is so cute that i could die

[thetursithan]

In the 2000s, phones had quirks and class....

[alexaloraetheris]

In the ye olde days, when technology allowed phones to become small but there was no general concensus on what a phone should/ought to look like, it was like the wild west of phone design. The crazier it was, the higher the prestige. Phones back then did two things and they did them with flamboyance.

And then Steve Jobs ruined everything.

[beardedmrbean]

Amen to that little dude

[lucasnator4]

When food so good you see god

[beardedmrbean]

Transcendent in my tummy

[slitherpunk]

elf yuri except one of them is high fantasy and the other is one of santa's

[jsketch12]

9'6" forest guardian and her 4'5" toymaker gf

[romanosketchbook]

[binglam]

Get down mr president

[relelvance]

[insomniac-arrest]

It wasn’t dementia, he hit his head doing this

[atompalace-official]

wash him he smely

[atompalace-official]

here’s how the other Eeveelutions react to bathtime 🛁🫧

[nofilter-cory]

Gengar