Incorrect Eponine

This blog is devoted to the eldest Thenardier child, Eponine, because Mod A didn't think she gets enough love from the fandom. Don't be creepy! Her name would have an accent mark on this blog if our keyboards weren't in English.

[incorrecteponine]

Azelma: Can you help me get my bucket hat back from Gav?

Gavroche: I look better in it!

Éponine: You look stupid, but okay.

Grantaire: To be fair, he also looks stupid without the hat.

[incorrecteponine]

Éponine, to the group chat with no context: Friendly reminder: if you live with any guys, be sure to check your toilet for dead rodents.

[incorrecteponine]

This blog just turned two.

[incorrecteponine]

Eponine, texting the group chat: So, I was at church today and my brother had to use the bathroom and so did I. So I walk back into the chapel and my entire family is dying laughing. Apparently, instead of walking back to his seat like a normal person, my brother jumped over the back of the pew into his seat like a freaking ninja turtle. In the middle of Easter mass.

Eponine:  Gav’s argument is that he was trying to be respectful of the people around us by not walking near them.

Eponine: Apparently he made a really loud sound.

Enjolras: OMG. 

Eponine: He’s a bit of a moron. 

[incorrecteponine]

Reporter: “BREAKING NEWS: 20 lobsters have broken out of a fancy Italian restaurant and into the sea!!!”

Enjolras, pumping his fist into the air: Yes!

[incorrecteponine]

Eponine: *opens the freezer and gets confused* Okay, who put tampons in the freezer?

Azelma and Gavroche: ...

Eponine: Oh, wait, nevermind. Those are popsicles. The wrappers just make them look like tampons.

Azelma: Yeah, frozen tampons, some people like em nice and cold.

Gavroche: *unholy screeching because the uterus owners won’t shut up about tampons*

[incorrecteponine]

Eponine: I watched a horror movie with Enjolras the other day and he didn’t flinch once.

Enjolras: The only thing I’m afraid of is capitalism

[incorrecteponine]

Eponine: The world is a complicated place, huh?

Gavroche: Whenever I feel that way I just sit in a tree and wait for dinner.

[incorrecteponine]

Eponine: Gavroche, what do you have?

Gavroche: A knife!

Eponine: NOOOOOO!!!

[incorrecteponine]

Eponine: What's up, I'm back.

Marius: We literally saw you die.

Eponine: Death is a social construct.

[incorrecteponine]

Montparnasse: Here’s some free advice. You want them to preform? Tell them what they want to hear.

Eponine: …You mean LIE.

[incorrecteponine]

Eponine: *trying to buy a Father’s Day card at Hallmark*

Eponine: Excuse me, do you have any that just say “you are my dad?”

Associate: Well-

Eponine: How about “You screwed my mom?”

Associate: No...

Eponine: You know what, I’ll just get a blank one.

Eponine: *writes “You are a father. This is a day. Here is a card.”*

[incorrecteponine]

Gavroche: There are two rules in this house: give Gavroche all your money and don’t leave the fridge open.

[incorrecteponine]

Eponine: Do you ever see your sibling and just have this overwhelming urge to smack them for no reason? Like my sister will walk into the room and I’m like “Oh man, I guess I have to end you.”

Grantaire: The Cain instinct.

[incorrecteponine]

Eponine: You know, when I was little I used to pretend you weren't my real mother.

Madame Thenardier: Me too.

[incorrecteponine]

Eponine: As my mom always used to say, “if a cop handcuffs you to a bike rack there’s always something you can gnaw through.”

Cosette: Your mom... always... said that?

[incorrecteponine]

Azelma: *crying*

Éponine: Are you okay?

Azelma: Go away!

Éponine: Okay, have fun sulking, don’t get sunburned.