the thing with feathers @fertfeathers-blog - Tumblr Blog

This space has been quiet so much lately because my reproductive system has also been quiet. Since I haven't been ovulating or getting my period, we've decided to take a break until January and then start the first round of ovulation drugs in 2013. I'm hoping to spend the next 3 months focusing on eating healthier (and low carb for my PCOS) and getting in better shape.

All's quiet on the baby making front. Not pregnant, no period. I've started eating low carb again in the hopes that I'll get back to having regular (albeit long) cycles but if nothing happens by October, I think we're going to go for the ovulation drug to jump start things. It's really hard not knowing when to even try. Even if we just try all the time, that just makes it feel like a constant failure which is no good.

After a week and a half of really strange nausea, random crying and various aches and pains, I finally took an early pregnancy test. It was negative. Hopefully this means I'm just having intense PMS and not that I have, you know, a brain tumor or something.

Well, we've made it out of what my calendar says should be my fertile period so now we just wait to see if I get my period or not. Then if I don't we have to see if I'm pregnant or just having another very long cycle again. If I'm not pregnant but I get my period, we might try a few more (60 day cycle) rounds. If I'm not pregnant and not regular, I think we're going to go ahead and get on an ovulation drug. If I don't even know when I'm ovulating, I don't see how this is ever going to work.

I hate everything today.

I've been getting better at taking my temperature and I bought a proper basal thermometer. All of which is good, except for the rage I feel at the fact that the stupid basal thermometer just HAD to be PINK.

#PCOS #basal temperature #trying to conceive

I think we might see if I ovulate this weekend and then move on to trying the ovulation drug. Not knowing when I'm going to ovulate (if ever) is stressing me out so much that it seems like the best option.

If negative ovulation tests are this sad, I don’t even want to think how sad negative pregnancy tests will be.

#ovulation #PCOS

Went out with my husband and some friends tonight. I didn't drink any alcohol, mostly because I just wasn't in the mood and I'm trying to stay somewhat low-carb for my PCOS. The second I got a glass of water, I knew everyone thought I was pregnant. I guess when it's time to stop drinking for good I'll just have to stay home for 3 months and tell everyone I have the flu.

Last week I was browsing through Facebook and came across a former coworker's page. She had a baby last year and named her "our" girl name - first and middle. We haven't told anyone about our name and it's not a common name at all, much less a common combination. I swear we found the names individually on a list but now I'm wondering if maybe I heard or saw somewhere that this coworker used it? Although I guess we did pick it out before this baby was born so that's impossible. Mostly it just makes me sad because each of the names had meaning for us and I wanted to use them but I don't want to use them now, knowing someone else personally who used them. The day before I found this out, I was actually thinking about using my former middle name instead of the one we had chosen and now it just seems like a sign.

We also get a lot of crap about our chosen boy name (again, haven't told anyone what it is - this is just people talking in general) and it just gets disheartening. We had all these discussions about names when we first got married and I've thought about our future baby with these names in mind.

I feel like this is just the beginning of having to deal with people's unwanted opinions about my baby and I'm already tired of it.

#baby names

I could not stop laughing at this article.

#baby names #wtf

Well...

We have officially started trying.

Ways I've Screwed Up Tracking My Temperature:

I got a regular thermometer instead of a basal one so mine isn't accurate enough.

I miss taking my temperature most mornings because I hit snooze instead of waking up.

Apparently my thermometer flashes 98.6 every time, which I thought was the stored temperature but it isn't - making my chart completely useless.

Obviously I need to buy a new thermometer, figure out how to use it and then actually use it. Imagine that!

#basal temperature #PCOS #ovulation

[I'm at my desk at work, talking to the nurse who has finally called me back with my test results after I've called the doctor's office three times.]

Nurse: The test results did confirm you have PCOS.

Me: Okay.

Nurse: The good thing is, it really doesn't matter at all since you're not trying to get pregnant!

Me: ... (trying to figure out what to say that will not be obvious to my coworkers) Actually I had talked to her about that...?

Nurse: Oh, okay. Oh yeah here it is, "trying to conceive". Well, let us know if you have any problems!

Me: ...Okay.

#infertility #PCOS

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -

That perches in the soul -

And sings the tune without the words -

And never stops - at all -

And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -

And sore must be the storm -

That could abash the little Bird

That kept so many warm -

I’ve heard it in the chillest land -

And on the strangest Sea -

Yet - never - in Extremity,

It asked a crumb - of me.

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